“Friends,” Devon said, grinning. “How quaint.”
I took a step forward but felt a pressure on my chest. I panned my gaze down and saw Laiken’s hand on my chest. I could feel her warmth burning into my skin, searing my soul and touching my heart. It had been years since I’d felt her. Years since I’d been anywhere near her skin.
And now she was touching me.
I looked into her eyes, and I saw how wide they were. How shocked she was that she could so easily touch me again. I felt her fingers curl into my chest, her body exploring my strength. She was magnetized to me, just like I was to her. Two souls floating aimlessly throughout the universe, trying to convince themselves that they were fine alone.
But neither of us was fine alone. Me bringing all those fucking women home said that.
And her lunging for a pathetic boy like the one behind her said that, too.
She ripped her hand back from me and released a breath she was holding. My eyes were boring a hole into the top of her head as she dropped her gaze. She cleared her throat, keeping her grasp on the man behind her. Just seeing their fingers interlocked made me sick to my stomach.
Why the hell was she clinging so hard to this guy? What the fuck did he have that I didn’t? I was here. I was right in front of her. I could feel the tension brewing between us. She should be releasing him and jumping into my arms. She should’ve been kicking him to the fucking curb so I could take her home.
So I could remind her of why she really came back to town.
If she had actually left in the first place.
“But he doesn’t mean anything to me now,” Laiken said.
“What?” I asked.
“I figured by the way you were treating him,” Devon said.
“Laiken.”
My voice was hard, and it pulled her eyes up to mine. I could see so many things boiling behind them. Shock and hesitancy and disbelief. Anger and frustration and a hint of sadness. So many memories bombarding the both of us. It was getting harder to breathe as her familiar scent stifled my lungs. I was breathing her in and holding it close, trying to absorb it through my pores in the hopes that I would never have to live another second without it.
“What?” she asked.
“Look me in the eyes and say that,” I said.
“I believe she’s given you her answer,” Devon said.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” I said mindlessly.
Her hazel eyes danced with mine as tears glistened in her eyes. I’d only ever seen that happen twice in the year we were together. The first was chicken wing night, and the second was during that fight.
The fight that ended up and pushed the one thing I treasured more than life itself out the door. Fucking literally, too.
I kicked myself to this day for doing that to her.
“Look me in my eye and say that,” I said.
She swallowed thickly, but she didn’t make a move to say anything. I could see the specks of yellow and brown dancing in her eyes. All the colors that made up the beautiful hazel that nothing on this planet could replicate. Not the colors of a sunset or the colors of the night time sky. Not the colors of a rainbow or the colors of a waterfall. There was nothing I’d found in this desert that could replicate the beauty of the colors in Laiken’s eyes.
I felt myself falling again. Just like I did all those years ago.
Laiken ripped her eyes from me, but still stayed silent. She took a step back into Devon, who willingly opened his arms to her. He threaded his hand around her waist, and it made my hands tremble. I clenched my fists at my sides, trying my best to keep my anger at bay.
I didn’t want this encounter with Laiken to be filled with fighting. But if I had to fight this shithead to get his hands off her, then I’d beat his ass to a bloody pulp.
“Come on,” Laiken said as she shook her head. “Let’s go dance.”
I watched her walk off with Mr. Baby Dick in disbelief. I watched as they made their way to the middle of the bar like I wasn’t even there. Devon’s eyes flickered over to mine, a malicious grin crossing his cheeks as he slid his arm around Laiken. He pulled her close as her hands wrapped around his neck, then her cheek pressed into his.
I was furious. I was clenching my fists so hard I could feel my hand cramping. It was taking every ounce of respect I had for Laiken to not go over there and pull her out of that guy’s grasp. It was taking every ounce of energy I had not to charge that cocky little dipshit and punch him square in his jaw. He was weak. Tired. Flabby and flimsy underneath those clean-cut clothes. His skin was probably smooth. Not rough from living the life a real man should live. He probably couldn’t regale her with stories of travel and night time affairs. He couldn’t give her a life of freedom that she craved endlessly. He couldn’t inspire her to be the best she could be, and he sure as hell couldn’t comfort her the way she required comfort.
It took months to learn that shit about Laiken. Months I’d sunk into her because I wanted to.
Because I needed to.
Because I loved her enough to.
I sat down on the stool next to Laiken’s and watched them dance. Every time Devon turned my way, he would wink at me. Like he’d just won some prize in a street car race. He was everything a man wasn’t. Sneaky. Malicious. A trickster who played games to get what he wanted. It shocked me to my core that Laiken couldn’t see through his shit.
And if she did, it shocked me even more that she was okay with it.
Had her confidence slipped? Had she pulled back into her shell? Had our fight-- and my actions-- caused her to backtrack?
It made me sick to think that I might have created the perfect storm for this scenario myself.
I watched the two of them like a hawk. I watched his hand slide lower and lower down her back. I watched Laiken’s hands slide down to his chest before wrapping around his waist. I watched her bury her face into his neck, breathing in his disgusting scent.
The entire scenario unfolding in front of me made me want to puke.
I was responsible for this. I was the reason she was doing this. Had I just been upfront with her. Had I just told her what she wanted to know, maybe things would’ve worked out. But from the moment I first met Laiken, I knew she wanted to be a police officer. I knew she wanted to work at putting people behind bars. I knew she wanted to work and helping those that couldn’t help themselves.
Helpless people that reminded her of herself.
And that didn’t mesh well with a man who had just been initiated into an outlaw motorcycle club. Had I been honest with her about where I was going, it would’ve ended us. Had I told her the job I really did on a regular basis, she probably would’ve tried to find a way to arrest me. I couldn’t tell her that ‘church’ didn’t mean a temple and I couldn’t tell her that ‘running a job’ meant pedaling drugs. I couldn’t bring her around the guys and expect her to understand and I couldn’t explain to her that my weekends away were because I was escorting our crew safely to biker rallies.
I couldn’t tell her any of this, so I resorted to lying.
But, Laiken was smart. She knew from the very beginning that I was lying. She knew I was hiding things with her. She questioned why I never took her around my friends. She accused me of being ashamed of her. Of wanting to hide her. She thought for a while she might’ve been the other woman. That my secret was the fact that I was married or some shit.
I tried to settle her mind without ripping her into my world. I tried to get her to trust me while lying to her about my own fucking life. But things spiraled out of control and words were said that could never be taken back.
I fucking wished I could take those words back.
Now, all I could do was sit here and wait for her to come back. She was dancing in the arms of another man. A man who was just as conniving as he was innocent-looking. It was a deadly combination, and every time he looked at me I knew I was doing Laiken a service. She might hate me for the rest of her life for what I was about to do toni
ght, but then again… maybe she already did.
In which case, I had nothing to lose.
I wanted to talk with her. Privately. Without Mr. Cheap Shot with her. I knew what she said to me wasn’t true. I knew she still cared. It was written all over her features when she saw me emerge from the shadows. It was strewn behind her eyes as she held my gaze. It was seen in the uptick of her breathing as I grew closer to her.
She still cared, even if she didn’t want to admit it.
Chapter 10
Laiken
It felt wrong, being in Devon’s arms. The attention from him was nice, and he seemed kind enough. But there was something about the way he was holding me that was off. It was a little more possessive than I would’ve taken him for. We were swaying to the music that filled the bar as people around us stared. Jace was making a scene, and people were eating it up, and I wasn’t happy that the scene included myself.
Every now and again, Devon would turn himself to look at Jace. He was trying to conceal it underneath the natural motion of dancing, but I knew what he was doing. My back would be to Jace at the bar, and suddenly his grip would grow tighter around my waist. The two of them were having a pissing contest, and I didn’t enjoy it one bit. I thought Devon was the type of guy to be more mature than that kind of thing. I took him for someone who didn’t play those games. Who was honest and upfront and genuinely kind.
But the more I danced with him, the more I got the impression that it was all a ruse.
Then, I caught Jace’s stare. For the first time since we had hit the dance floor, I looked up into his eyes. There was jealousy burning behind them as he sat at the bar. He looked furious as his eyes danced around my waist. It burned him to his core that another man was touching me, and while he had no claim to me, it served him right. I was the best thing that had ever happened to that man. I was the only woman who could tolerate his shit. I stood toe-to-toe with him during arguments and never allowed his booming voice to get the best of me. Women before me stroked his ego, but I kept that shit in check.
It toned him down and exposed a side of him I don’t think he knew existed.
Devon and I continued to sway on the dance floor. I pressed my cheek into his chest and watched Jace’s hand curl into a fist on the bar. I could feel Devon’s grip tightening on me as his hand move downwards. It stopped at the small of my back, but then he made a small motion towards my ass. I wasn’t sure what this man thought he was going to be pulling tonight, but now he was using me as a pawn. Instead of genuinely enjoying my presence, he was doing shit to get a rise out of Jace.
I could do that, but he couldn’t.
I reached around and pulled his hand up my back. I looked up into Devon’s eyes, and he looked down at me, those innocent blue eyes making me melt. They were nowhere near the color of Jace’s eyes, but I found that didn’t bother me. It was distracting. It was weird for me to be enjoying him when he was the complete opposite of Jace. But for a moment, I enjoyed the way he smiled down at me.
And then I saw his eyes flicker above me.
I craned my neck back and saw Jace reddening with anger. I peeked a glance up at Devon’s face, and I saw why Jace was so upset. Instead of the innocent character I had been given for the past few minutes, there was a devilish glint in his eye. His face had morphed just that quickly into a conniving little fuck. Someone I didn’t want touching me nearly as much as he was.
The longer we danced, the more uncomfortable I got. I knew men like this. Men who could switch their attitudes on a dime. I had to be careful with them. If I made a wrong move, he’d lash out. And if he lashed out, Jace would surely attack him. That meant I’d have to explain to my captain why the fuck I was in some shady, illegal-ass bar pulling some asshole off a guy he was beating to a bloody pulp.
Because if there was one thing I knew, it was the fact that Devon couldn’t take Jace. Not if he fucking tried with his life.
My best bet was to just keep dancing. Keep swaying and playing along with his game. He’d eventually ask me back to his place, and then I would politely decline him when I was not wrapped up in his arms. I knew my weaknesses and my strengths, and right now I was not in a favorable position to take this man down.
The longer I danced with him, the more memories resurfaced. My heart thundered in my chest as memories of Jace flooded my mind. He was aggressive and had a short fuse, but the longer we dated, the sweeter he became. Like that night with his father when we went to go eat chicken wings. How he slid his foot next to mine to try and comfort me. How he defended me to his father without ever speaking an ill word towards him. Memory after memory rushed back. Kind and compassionate moments I had buried, so it was easier to hate him.
Easier to write him off and never look back.
Like this one time when we were out dancing. I finally convinced him to take me to a dance club that had drinks instead of a bar that had random moments of dancing. I couldn’t get him out onto the floor, and it caused an argument between us. I’d worn a shirt and a shirt out that was falling off my shoulder, knowing it would entice him to dance with me. But all we did was sit in chairs and drink beers while we watched everyone else dance.
Finally, I’d had enough. I told Jace I was going to dance whether he wanted to come or not. I felt his eyes following me to the dance floor, and as I started to sway there was a guy that came up to me. He slid behind me and followed my movements, but it wasn’t until I felt his hands on my hips that I knew he was there.
I turned around and was one tick away from pushing him off me when Jace stepped in between us. He told that guy to ‘get off his girl’ before he slinked his arm around me. He defended my honor before he stayed with me on the floor. Just like I was doing right now with Devon.
It was the first time he had ever called me his, and the memory brought tears to my eyes.
“You okay?” Devon asked.
I looked up into his eyes that were flashing me his little innocent shtick.
“Yeah. Just the cigarette smoke. Too much of it and my eyes water,” I said.
“Well, how about we get out of here after this song?” he asked.
Shit. That was not the opening I was looking for.
“Let’s just finish this song and see where it goes,” I said.
He pulled me back to him as another memory rushed to the forefront of my mind. It was the first time Jace told me he loved me. We were sitting in his backyard after my mother had one of her meltdowns. Jace had witnessed first-hand the full force of my mother during one of her tirades. She was screaming and cursing. Throwing things at my head while Jace batted them away. He tugged me out of the house and tossed me onto his bike, then told me to hang on tight as we raced away. He took me to his house, and we sat in his backyard, his arm around me as he pulled me close.
It was just us sitting there as he tried to calm my trembling body.
The sun was setting, painting the sky all sorts of colors. I could still remember how beautiful it was to this day. Jace leaned over and kissed my cheek before he nuzzled his nose into my neck.
He murmured how much he loved me into my skin before he pulled me into his lap.
I had so many memories like that of him. More memories than I cared to admit to. The more I remembered, the harder it became to hate him. The more I allowed myself to relive, the harder it became to write him off. That was the reason I’d allowed myself to forget all these memories. Memories of him sneaking me out my window and taking me on adventures. Memories of him grunting how much he loved me as he stuffed me full of his cock. Memories of the little presents he would get me because he saw it and thought of me, or heard me mention that I wanted it and figured I could use it.
Every memory I remembered only served to remind me of what was happening. That I was swaying in the arms of a man that wasn’t Jace. That he was sitting right there at the bar, physically holding himself back from intervening. I no longer wanted to be with this guy. I wanted this long ass song to be over. I wanted to rewin
d this night and choose another fucking bar, and yet I wanted everything to stay exactly as it was.
I felt Devon’s hands wrap even tighter around me, and I knew this shit had to end.
“Thank you so much for the dances,” I said as I pulled away. “I really enjoyed it.”
“You ready to get out of here?” he asked.
I tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t release his grip. I looked up into his eyes from underneath my eyelashes, hoping I could get him to soften his grip by looking at him. I grinned as tried to pull away again, but this time his eyes darkened a bit.
“I think I should get you out of here,” Devon said.
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I said.
I pressed my hands to his chest, but he locked his grip behind my back. I pushed against him to try and get away, but the man was a hell of a lot stronger than he looked.
This was why I didn’t want to cause a fucking scene. This was why I wanted to wait for an opportunity. Because now I would have to kick this baby face’s ass and then explain to my captain why the fuck I was beating up drunk guys in seedy bars on the outskirts of Vegas.
“I’m not… interested,” I said as his arms drew me closer.
I rose my foot up to stomp down onto his toes before I felt his body being ripped away from mine.
I looked over at the bar as everyone around me began to get out of their seats. I didn’t see Jace anywhere, and a cloud of cigarette smoke was obstructing my view. I reached out in front of me, trying to find whoever the hell had ripped Devon from me. I wanted to thank them for getting him off me.
The bartender came out from around the bar with a shotgun in his hand. He cocked it in the air and leveled it into the smoke, and I watched with wide eyes as he aimed at someone. I fanned the air around me as the scene slowly came into view, and I heard gasps as people began to clamor for the front door. I could hear gurgling sounds along with furniture scraping across the floor. I could hear people murmuring to themselves as the bartender kept his eyes trained on a scene I still couldn’t see.
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