“Yes, it was my favorite night ever,” Eliot said. “I loved every moment of it, especially throwing out my favorite shoes.”
“I told you I would buy you new shoes,” I snapped.
“That’s not going to take the memory away,” Eliot pointed out. “Now I’m always going to be able to say, ‘Remember the time you puked on my shoes,’ and it’s going to be a real thing.”
“You guys are a trip,” Mario said, shaking his head. “You fight like a married couple. It’s probably good you don’t live together.”
Eliot and I exchanged a look and tried to part glances before Mario noticed, but it was already too late.
“What was that?” Mario asked, his interest piqued.
“What was what?” I asked, feigning innocence. “Where is the waitress? I’m starving.”
“No, that was definitely something,” Mario said, now strong on the scent. “Are you two getting married?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Don’t even think of starting that rumor. If you do I’ll start a rumor about you sleeping with a stripper.”
“That makes me look good.”
“I’ll tell your mother … and father … and my mother.”
“That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Mario muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. “Wait … are you pregnant? Is that why you threw up?”
“No! Don’t spread that rumor either,” I warned.
“Definitely don’t spread that rumor,” Eliot interjected. “If you spread that rumor I’ll beat your ass, and we both know I can do it and won’t feel guilty about it for one second.”
“Fine,” Mario said, making a face. “You guys are absolutely no fun.”
I took pity on him. “Can you keep a secret?”
Mario’s face shifted from annoyed to eager. “Absolutely.”
“Avery, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Eliot cautioned. “If you do this he’s not going to be able to keep his mouth shut, and then everyone will find out before we’re ready to tell them.”
“You are getting married,” Mario crowed. “I knew it!”
“We’re not getting married,” I said. “We are moving in together, though. As soon as the Sierra Jackson case is solved we’re going to start looking for a new house.”
“Oh,” Mario said, his smile slipping. “That’s not a huge secret. You guys pretty much live together already. You barely spend nights apart, so I don’t understand what the big deal is.”
“Yes, but we’re buying a house, and it’s going to be great,” I said. “We’re going to sell my house and buy a bigger house with a pool. Eliot says I can even bring my Star Wars stuff.”
“Congratulations,” Mario said, smiling. “I’m going to come over to use the pool. I might bring women and wow them with my cannon ball technique, so be prepared for that. That’s not a huge secret, but I’ll keep it for you. I think everyone expects the two of you to move in together.”
“My mother?” I challenged.
“Well, not your mother,” Mario conceded. “She’s going to give you the free milk and cow speech. There’s no avoiding that.”
“I told you,” I said, sliding a worried look in Eliot’s direction. His face was impassive. “Are you angry I told him? I’m sorry. I wanted to tell someone.”
“I’m not angry,” Eliot said, the corners of his mouth tipping up. “I’m just amazed how excited you are. It makes me happy.”
“Ugh! Now I’m going to puke,” Mario said. “Don’t get all sappy, dude. I need a big breakfast after my big night.”
“Speaking of your big night, without Kendra I have no idea where to turn next to find Sierra,” I said. “It’s frustrating. She has to be out there somewhere. I just … don’t know where to look.”
“She’s probably dead,” Mario said, his gaze focused on the menu.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because she’s a thirteen-year-old girl who went missing in a mall and it doesn’t look like it was a family abduction,” Mario replied. “That means a stranger took her or she walked away on her own. Even if she did walk away on her own, she’s too young to take care of herself, and that means she probably ended up with some pervert.
“If she was taken by a pervert, she probably died less than twenty-four hours after she was taken,” he continued. “I saw on television that almost all stranger abductions end with death in less than twenty-four hours. Either way, I think it’s obvious you’re looking for a body now.”
My heart rolled at the statement. “You don’t know that.”
“Are you honestly saying you don’t think she’s dead?” Mario asked.
“I … .”
Mario shook his head and focused on Eliot. “You think she’s dead, don’t you?”
I risked a glance at Eliot and hated the conflict working across his handsome features. “Do you?”
“Avery, I don’t know what to say,” Eliot answered. “You can’t argue with statistics. I’m worried you’ve got your heart set on finding Sierra and getting her home and everything being great and wonderful.
“Let’s say she’s not dead,” he continued. “Mario is right. It doesn’t look like a family member took her. That means a stranger took her. There’s no good reason for a stranger to take a thirteen-year-old girl. If she was a baby you could hope for some distraught woman who just lost an infant and wants a replacement to love. That’s not what we’re dealing with, though.”
I swallowed hard. “Okay.” I grabbed another menu and pretended to focus on it even though it could’ve been written in gibberish for all I cared. I needed somewhere to direct my attention.
“I’m sorry,” Eliot said. “I know that’s not the outcome you want.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “I wanted the truth from you and that’s the truth.”
“Avery … .” Eliot snagged my hand and squeezed it. He didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t have a response for anything he offered, so I was happy for the silence.
“I think I’m going to get bacon and sausage,” Mario said, clearly missing my distress. “I’m starving. What are you getting, Avery?”
“I think I lost my appetite.”
24
“Hey!”
Eliot chased me out of the diner an hour later. I forced myself to stop and turn, hoping my face didn’t hint at the irritation rolling through me.
“Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?” Eliot asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“I’m going to see you in a little bit,” I reminded him. “I thought we were having lunch together.”
“We are,” Eliot said, studying my face. “I just … I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said about Sierra.”
“You told the truth, Eliot. I don’t want you hiding things because you think it’s too difficult for me to hear. That goes for moving in together and … other things.”
“Avery, I … .” Eliot broke off, exasperated. He pushed a strand of my hair from my face. “How about we go to that Mexican place you like so much for lunch?”
“Sure.” I averted my gaze. “That sounds nice.”
“You have that vigil thing at the mall, right?” Eliot didn’t generally waste time with lame conversation. He was stalling because he didn’t want me to leave if I was upset. I recognized the gesture, but I didn’t know how to make things better for him. “I could go to that with you if you want.”
“That’s really not necessary,” I said. “I can cover a vigil without backup. Tons of media will be there. People will be all over the place. Even I won’t be able to find danger.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Eliot said. “I want to be there if you need me.”
“You can be there when I need you to feed me,” I said, forcing a smile and going for levity. “I won’t be gone long.”
“I know,” Eliot said, giving me a quick kiss. “Call me if you need something.”
“I do need one thing. It’s just … .” I broke
off, wondering whether what I was about to ask would make me look weak or just plain delusional.
“Whatever you want,” Eliot said. “You know that.”
“Can you find Sandy Jackson’s parents for me?” I held up my hand to head off any argument Eliot might try to muster. “I just need to know. Odds are that they’re not involved. I need to look, though.”
“I’ll find them,” Eliot said, grabbing my chin and giving me another kiss. “You don’t have to worry about asking me for favors. You know that, right?”
“I know.”
“I don’t think you do know that,” Eliot countered. “It’s okay to feel for this girl. It’s okay to want to find her. It’s okay to ask me to help you. I will always help you, even if I joke about it.”
“I know you will,” I said. “I’m not trying to be distant … or a pain … or cold. I just can’t wrap my head around a kid disappearing when there were so many witnesses. Something happened that we’re missing. It gnaws at me. I can’t help it.”
“We’ll find Sierra,” Eliot said. “I have faith in that. I can’t promise we’ll find her alive, but something tells me that no matter what, we’ll find an end to this. I only hope it’s an end you can live with.”
“You and me both.”
I INTERVIEWED the first six people at the vigil and then spent the next twenty minutes studying faces. I knew what everyone would say. There were plenty of prayers and promises to never forget Sierra. Everyone spouted the same thing, almost the exact same words: They hoped she was alive but they didn’t think the odds were good. Then they went on and on about Sierra’s poor parents. Because I couldn’t muster sympathy for the Jacksons or Bridget, given their recent behavior, I forced a smile and faked sympathy before retreating to the fountain to sit.
That’s where Jake found me.
“Hey.”
I glanced up at the sound of his voice. “Hi.”
Jake sat next to me, taking a moment to look me over, and then turned his attention to the crowd. “This thing is still twenty minutes off and the parking lot is packed,” he said. “It’s going to be a full crowd.”
“You know people and vigils,” I said. “This one is for a child. It’s also convenient. After having their chance to pray in front of the cameras everyone can take a walk around the mall and shop. It was a brilliant stroke of marketing genius on the mall manager’s part.”
“You’re feeling dour today, huh?” Jake asked. “What’s wrong? I thought everything was good in your world now that you proved you were right about the Jacksons and you and Eliot made up.”
“Things are fine,” I lied. “What makes you think something is wrong?”
“You’re pale,” Jake replied, not missing a beat. “Granted, it’s not summer yet and you don’t have that glow you usually acquire, but you’re really pale. You almost look sick.”
“I did throw up last night.”
Jake shifted to put a bit of distance between us. “Do you have the flu?”
“Well that was subtle,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I don’t have the flu. I was hiding behind a Dumpster and it really smelled and I couldn’t come out in case people saw me. You know how weak my stomach is.”
Jake narrowed his eyes. “I do know how weak your stomach is,” he confirmed. “Who were you spying on that you had to hide behind a Dumpster?”
Crap. I have the biggest mouth in the world sometimes. “Oh … um … I don’t recollect.”
Jake’s doubt was written all over his face. “I don’t believe you,” he said. “You’re up to something. Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re legitimately bothered by what’s going on here, but you’ve got some other thing going on, and I want to know what it is.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, forcing my attention to the fountain. “Give me a penny so I can make a wish.”
Jake’s expression would’ve been comical under different circumstances. He dug in his pocket and found a penny, although he was reluctant to drop it into my hand. “Does Eliot know you were running around throwing up behind Dumpsters? I can’t imagine that would make him happy.”
“I threw up on his shoes. He hasn’t stopped complaining about having to toss them in the garbage.”
That was enough to make Jake break into a grin. “I would give you a hundred pennies for that visual,” he said, chuckling. “So he went with you to spy?”
“If I try to leave him home he has a fit,” I explained, studying the penny as I tried to come up with the appropriate wish. “Ever since I broke into my publisher’s back yard and almost got eaten by a rat he’s been pretty insistent about going on spying missions with me.”
“Well, I hate to say it, but that makes me feel better,” Jake said. “I know he won’t let anyone touch you. He’d die before that, and he’s not very likely to die given his training.”
“You two seemed to have worked out your issues for the most part,” I said. “Do you want to tell me when that happened?”
“Why don’t you ask Eliot?”
“I did. He essentially told me that not everything is my business.”
“I’m going to tell you the same thing,” Jake said. “Eliot and I had problems that spilled over from another world and clouded this one, but we’ve worked them out. You compounded our problems, but we’ve worked that out, too. I don’t think we’re ever going to be best friends, but I do think of him as a friend now.”
“Don’t friends hang out?”
“I guess we’re more remote friends,” Jake conceded. “I believe he spends most of his free time with you. That would make hanging out … difficult.”
“I’m tons of fun at parties,” I argued. “We could all go to the bar together and you guys could bump fists and watch sports while I hustled everyone at the pool table. It sounds like a great outing.”
“I’ll consider it,” Jake said, his eyes twinkling. “You really do look pale.” He grabbed my chin and turned my head to study my profile. “Are you sure you’re not sick?”
“I’m fine, Jake,” I said, jerking my chin away. “It’s been a long morning. I threw up on Eliot’s shoes last night. I was in a great mood for breakfast this morning and then Mario showed up to tell us about his sexy night. Then I felt sick again. It’s fine. It will pass.”
I tossed the coin into the fountain, and Jake and I watched it sink to the bottom.
“What did you wish for?” Jake asked.
“Something that Eliot believes I can’t have.”
“What’s that?”
“I want Sierra Jackson found,” I said. “I want her to be alive, and I don’t want some filthy pervert to have robbed her future. Eliot thinks I’m kidding myself. He’s worried I’m becoming too involved.”
“What do you think?”
“I think that there’s something very wrong with this case,” I answered. “I think we’re missing something big. I think you’re missing it. I think I’m missing it. I think Eliot is missing it.
“Usually I would believe that the three of us could figure anything out, but I’m not so sure this time,” I continued. “Every lead goes nowhere. Every idea turns out to be nothing. A young girl walked into a mall and was never seen again. Is that going to be her epitaph?”
“I agree with Eliot,” Jake said, taking me by surprise. “You’re too involved with this. Usually it doesn’t bother me when you get involved in these cases because I know you’re all about winning more than anything else. You want to be the one to get the story.
“Now, don’t get me wrong, you want to win here, too,” he continued. “You want Sierra to win more than yourself, though. I think Eliot is right to be worried because you’re making yourself sick over this one, and that’s never going to be okay.”
“Do you think she’s dead?”
“I think she’s … lost,” Jake replied. “Your greatest fear is that we’ll find her dead. My greatest fear is that we’ll never know. That’s harder, Avery. Knowing hurts, but not knowing can
stop a life in its tracks.”
“You’re talking about parents or a spouse,” I said. “Sierra’s parents don’t care about anything but themselves. Her brother cares. I haven’t seen her grandparents, so they might care. Her parents don’t care, though.”
“You don’t know that,” Jake argued. “People grieve in different ways. People tackle adversity in different ways. I’m not saying that what these people are doing is right. I don’t think it’s our position to judge, though. We’re not in their shoes.”
His words were full of wisdom. Of course he didn’t know about Daniel and Bridget getting it on in the parking lot of the Best Western last night. “Do you have any leads?”
“Nothing that could lead to Sierra’s discovery,” Jake answered. “Do you have any decent leads?”
“I keep running into brick walls … and Dumpsters,” I said. “It’s frustrating knowing that she’s out there. It’s even more frustrating knowing that I’ve probably talked to someone who knows exactly where she is.”
“You’re convinced it’s one of the adults, aren’t you?”
“I’m convinced Sandy Jackson knows more than she’s letting on,” I answered. “I’m not saying she’s guilty. I’m torn on that. Sometimes I look at her and think she has to be guilty. Other times I look at her and think she’s too stupid to be guilty. I just don’t know on that front.
“What I do know is that she put on a good show the day Sierra disappeared,” I continued. “She hasn’t bothered putting on a good show since. It’s almost as if she’s already washed her hands of the situation and moved on. Of course, Sierra’s father is acting the same way. Her mother isn’t much better.”
“Who were you spying on last night?” Jake asked.
“Let’s just say I started out spying on one person and ended up spying on two people, and it would stun you if I told you what happened.”
“That’s not enough for me,” Jake prodded. “Tell me what you know.”
I bit my lip. Would telling him the truth cost me anything? Could it possibly help Sierra? I blew out a frustrated sigh and gave him a short rundown of what happened. When I was done, his reaction was much the same as Mario’s.
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