Fix Me

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Fix Me Page 21

by Aubry, A


  I giggled, “Nothing about Finn is normal.”

  He softly chuckled, “That’s what I told him. He gave me one of his usual smart ass replies before he told me he was going to text you because he hadn’t heard from you. Almost had him believing that you were going to cancel. He never shut up about you after that. The fucker even called me the morning after you two first had sex.”

  My brows furrowed, “Why did he call you?”

  “He wanted to tell me how amazing you were. How he had never experienced anything like that with any other girl. When I asked if you spent the night, he told me that you were still asleep in his bed. If I remember correctly he said ‘She’s so beautiful when she sleeps, Coop. I could watch her all day.’ Then I made a remark about how it was creepy that he was watching you sleep while he talked to me. You are one fucking heavy sleeper,” he bumped my shoulder with his.

  He was not wrong about that, I was a pretty heavy sleeper.

  “He never told me any of that,” I admitted, looking back over at Finn.

  “That’s probably because Finn likes to pretend he is all rough and tough. But he’s really a big softy. He wants to show you that he is strong so that you will believe him when he says that he will protect you. You two have been through some tough shit.”

  I kissed Finn’s hand again, “I know we have, but we’ve always made it through. Finn will always protect me, I know that. I guess I just wish that sometimes, he would let me protect him.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Angie and I were supposed to have a girls night last Friday. Finn and Bo were supposed to be on the other side of town at a different bar. All night, Finn had been trying to talk me into letting him and Bo join us…he was saying that he missed me. I told him no it was a girls night, but we would be getting back together soon enough. Our last text message exchange before the accident, I had said that I wished he was there because by that point, I was missing having him by my side. If I wouldn’t have said that, he wouldn’t have come to the bar I was at. He wouldn’t have gotten hit…we wouldn’t be here right now.”

  “Everything happens for a reason, Julianna,” Cooper whispered.

  “I wish people would stop telling me that. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Finn and I just got married, we were talking about starting a family. Now all that is just fucking slipping through my fingers,” tears burned in my eyes again.

  He gently rubbed my back, “I know you aren’t going to like this suggestion, but I think it’s what is best for you right now. Go outside, get some fresh air. You haven’t left this hospital since last Friday. If Finn were awake right now, he would be telling you to do the same exact thing.”

  Damn straight, I would.

  Leave it to my imaginary Finn to chime in at that moment. He was almost as much of an asshole as my husband was at this point in time.

  “Fine. But I am only going out for five minutes. I am setting a timer on my phone,” I brought out my phone as I stood up.

  “Finn wasn’t wrong when he called you stubborn and sassy,” Cooper shook his head, laughing.

  I looked down at Finn before reaching out and caressing his stubbled cheek, “I’ll be back in five minutes, Finn. I love you with all my heart. I hope you know that in that stubborn ass head of yours.”

  On my way out the door, I bumped into Ashton who was talking to Violet on the phone just outside Finn’s door. I gave him a quick wave before I walked down to the lobby of the hospital. The salty air greeted me, the ocean a few feet away. Finding a bench, the wind gently blew my hair as I took a deep breath. Luckily, I was alone out there, it only being seven thirty in the morning and all.

  “God? I know it has been quite some time since I have gone to church or even prayed. But, I really need your help right now. You know my husband Finn? Of course, you know him. You made him for me. Thanks for that by the way. He hasn’t woken up in almost a week and I don’t want to lose him. I love him, so much. He’s my world. I would give anything to have him awake and back with me one hundred percent. Do you think you could work a miracle and wake him up for me?” I quietly asked my favor, my hands clasped together on my lap.

  It was silly of me to think that out of all the people in the world who needed a miracle, God would choose to grant my request. Shaking my head, I stood up. My five minutes would be up by the time I got back into the lobby, this was more than enough time away from Finn. I said my good mornings to the nurses who had their usual smiling faces on, even though they seemed even happier this morning than usual when they saw me. Way to lay the positivity on thick there, ladies.

  As I approached the door, I heard the quiet laugh that made my heart flutter. There was no fucking way that God worked his magic that quick. Racing into the room, I pulled the privacy curtain to the side. My sad blue eyes quickly meeting my favorite chocolate brown ones across the room.

  “Finn!” I screamed as I ran up to his bed, pushing Cooper and Ashton out of my way.

  I grabbed Finn’s face gently in my hands and kissed his lips over and over, “Don’t you…ever…scare me…like that…again.” I said between kisses.

  Releasing his face I took his hand in mine, as I looked at him.

  Finn looked up at me, confusion etched on his face, “Do I know you?”

  My heart shattered into a million pieces. My husband, the man who told me he had loved me a thousand times in two short months, had forgotten me. Tears stung my eyes, threatening to spill over. All I could think about was killing the fucker who hit Finn. Killing the man who took my sweet husband away from me.

  “You really don’t know who I am?” I said softly, releasing his hand as a tear rolled down my cheek.

  “I’m totally fucking with you, Jules. Of course I know you who you are,” Finn laughed as he reached for my hand.

  Cooper chuckled with Ashton behind me. What the fuck? He thought this was fucking funny? He was just fucking unconscious for almost a week and he thought fucking with me like that was funny?

  “I fucking hate you,” I smacked his arm away, but I couldn’t hold back the small giggle that came out when I heard his laugh.

  God damn I had missed the sound of his laugh. Especially because I thought I might never hear it again.

  “No you don’t, baby. You love me,” his hand caught my wrist and pulled me closer to his bed.

  “Not right now I don’t. You scared the shit out of me by doing that!”

  He sat up, wincing slightly from his cracked ribs and brought my face down to his, “I think that I am owed a few more kisses since I’m the one in the hospital bed this time. Don’t you agree?”

  I rolled my eyes, “You’re being a little demanding for just waking up after being asleep for six days, you lazy bastard.”

  “You can give it, or I can take it, which do you prefer?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I knew he loved a challenge.

  “Take it,” I dared him with a whisper.

  He held my head in place and crashed his lips over mine with such a fervor that I was the one feeling light headed now.

  Finn ate the last of his ice cream that came with his hospital ordered dinner. The food that they served the patients wasn’t that bad. Finn had ordered a few dishes off the menu and shared them with me after Cooper and Ashton tattled and said I hadn’t eaten in two days.

  “You know,” Finn stopped to lick the last of his ice cream off of his spoon, “You shouldn’t yell at someone when they are unconscious, Julianna. It’s not very nice.”

  I set my spoon down on his tray and took a sip of my water, “What? Cooper tell you that I yelled at you?”

  He shook his head, “Nope, I heard the whole fucking thing.”

  I moved to hit his arm, “You were fucking awake then and you didn’t get up?”

  He grabbed my wrist gently before I could hit him, “No, I wasn’t awake yet. At least, I was trying to be awake to tell you to stop yelling at me. I have heard every single thing you have said since you told me that everything wa
s going to be okay because you were there right after the accident.”

  I sat back in my seat and crossed my arms over my chest, “Lucky bastard.”

  “What was that, angel?” He smirked at me.

  “You don’t have to suffer like I did when all your dumb memories should’ve back,” I sighed, pouting like a child put in time out.

  He shook his head, “I don’t think I would have survived all this if I hadn’t been able to hear your voice these last six days.”

  My brows furrowed, “What are you talking about, Finn?”

  Finn reached his hand out, holding it open for me. I put my hand in his and he brought the back of my hand to his lips.

  “Your voice, you in general I should say, you have been my anchor. I could feel myself slipping away after the accident happened…saw the whole white light and shit I guess you can say…but the second I heard your voice, it brought me back,” he paused, kissing my hand again before looking at my rings.

  “I heard you call my name then I felt your touch…I knew it was yours without having to open my eyes. You were wiping stuff from my face, kissing my forehead. Damn, the second you started crying after the doctor said you could come into the room with me, my heart nearly broke in two. I wanted nothing more than to pull you into my arms and tell you everything would be alright.”

  He wasn’t lying when he said he heard everything. He even felt me as I cleared the blood from his face, kissing the skin that didn’t have blood smeared on it. I broke down when the doctor gave me the full run down on what was wrong with him after he had x-rays and every other test one person could think of. When I was told that he may not wake up, I fucking lost it. They were telling me I was going to lose my husband.

  “The last few days, you’ve gotten angrier with me. And I don’t blame you. I was pretty pissed off at myself for not waking up. Why were you yelling at me as though I was answering?” He looked at me, his brows scrunched together in confusion in the most adorable way.

  “Because…in my head, you were answering me. I knew exactly what you’d say to me, your usual smart-ass remarks but being sweet when I needed you to be. This morning it got bad, all I wanted you to do was wake up, to tell me you loved me, to tell me I’m beautiful. The same fucking routine we have had for two months. You were breaking that routine and it pissed me off,” I admitted honestly.

  Finn pushed his rolling table away from him before turning his attention back to me, “I do love you, Julianna. You know that I will always love you. And you are the most beautiful wife that a guy could ever have. I’m so thankful that I caught you that night at the bar. I’m so thankful to have a beautiful woman like you in my life.”

  I smiled shyly as I looked at our hands, “I’m still mad at you though.”

  “For not waking up sooner?” He asked.

  Raising an eyebrow, I brought my gaze back to him, “No, for the shit you pulled when you woke up.”

  “I was just trying to break the tension a little bit. I wanted to make you laugh after hearing you cry so much over the last week.”

  “Yeah, well it broke me to think that you forgot me…”

  “Julianna, my love. I will never forget you.”

  My heart stopped momentarily. I was so thankful that he was awake now. Finn was just being his usual self and trying to make me smile. He wouldn’t forget me that easily. He shifted over to one side of his bed, wincing a little at the pain, before he gently patted the bed.

  “Get up here, baby. I have spent too many nights without you lying next to me.”

  I shook my head, “No, we will get in trouble and you are literally broken. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  He rolled his eyes, “Baby, my cracked ribs and my broken leg are on my right side, you will be lying on my left. You won’t hurt me.”

  “Finn, it’s still a no. I’m not allowed in that bed with you,” I scolded.

  “Julianna Rose McAllister, you get your ass on the bed right now. I will deal with the repercussions. You have barely slept in days, let me help you rest.”

  Giving a heavy sigh, I carefully cuddled up next to Finn. My head nestled into the crook of his neck as his arm wrapped around me.

  He gently kissed my forehead, “I love you.”

  “I love you more,” I sighed, contentedly this time.

  “No, I love you more,” I could hear the smile in his voice.

  “You win,” I whispered.

  Just before I drifted off to sleep, I heard the nurse come in and tell Finn that I wasn’t allowed to sleep in bed with him.

  “She has been to hell and back the past week, can’t you let us bend the rules just this once?”

  Finn, you are such a smooth talker.

  Chapter Fifteen

  A few days later, Finn was finally discharged to go back home. His leg would be done healing in just shy of three weeks when he would be able to get his cast off. Thanks to the surgery, his recovery time was shortened. But his ribs would still take about five more weeks before they were as good as new. All of this meant no soccer until he completed physical therapy which he could luckily do at the training center for the team.

  When we finally got home to Minnesota, I tried to talk him into staying at my place because it was all on one floor. But, being the stubborn man that he was, Finn wanted us to go back to his place. So, we switched sides of the bed to incorporate his injury and time just flew by from there.

  Now here we were, two and a half weeks after Finn’s accident and the stick that I had peed on five minutes before was telling me that I was pregnant. I had been feeling off, but I figured that my body was responding to Finn’s pain. If I had counted it all out right, I had gotten pregnant around the night of Finn’s accident. The doctor wasn’t kidding when he warned me that I could get pregnant almost immediately. Of course the news made me so happy that I could squeal, but at the same time, I wasn’t ready to share my husband with another human being yet. Probably because I had been taking care of him ever since we left the hospital. Sadly, none of that ‘care’ came in the form of sex.

  We had tried at least once since we had been home, but Finn’s ribs were protesting, and I refused to let him be in pain during it. At one point, I even threatened to go sleep on the couch because Finn was trying to start something by slipping his hands into my pajama pants. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved for him to touch me like that. But if it was going to cause him any pain while doing it, I wasn’t going to allow it.

  “Jules? Baby, I’m back!” I heard Finn’s voice call out from downstairs.

  Bo had picked him up for practice this morning so that he could go and watch but also meet with the medical team there to see how his recovery was going. He had no idea that I was feeling off for a little while. All of a sudden, I couldn’t wait to tell him the news. I grabbed the test after I wiped it off with a Clorox wipe (because, it would be disgusting if I didn’t), and made my way downstairs, hiding the test as best I could.

  “Welcome home, Finn! How was your meeting with the doctors?” I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly as he sat on the barstool at the island. This was how I greeted him every day lately.

  “It was good, everything seems to be healing up nicely,” he smiled as his arms squeezed around me.

  When he released me, I took a small step back, “Good, I’m happy you’re getting better. I do have a little bit of news though.”

  “You have to go back to work?” He said sadly.

  “Next week I do, but that’s not the news sweetheart,” I kissed his lips quickly.

  “Then what is it?”

  I held out the test for him. The digital reader said ‘Pregnant (2-3 weeks)’. I had bought the more expensive of all the tests and got the one that told me how far along I was. It said it was really accurate, so I trusted the box. Finn studied it, reading the screen at least three or four times.

  “Does this mean?” He looked up at him, a look of hope etched into his features.

&nb
sp; “You’re going to be a father,” I smiled.

  “Oh my god!” He yelled as he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight.

  “I love you, Julianna! I love you so fucking much. Oh my god, I’m gonna be a dad!” Finn happily rambled as he squeezed me.

  “Baby, I can’t breathe!” I dramatically gasped for air.

  He instantly released me his hands covering my stomach, “Oh god, I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you? Did I hurt the baby?”

  I laughed, taking his face into my hands, “Breathe, Finn. I’m fine. Our baby is fine.”

  He smiled shyly, “Our baby.”

  “Yes, our baby. We are going to have a baby.”

  He puckered his lips and I happily pressed my lips to his. Moving my hands to his shoulders, Finn wrapped his arms around me as the kiss deepened. When he grabbed my ass, I pulled back.

  “We aren’t having sex, Finn,” I softly scolded him.

  “Why not? I think we need to celebrate,” he whined.

  “Because when we tried last week, it hurt you,” I ran a hand through his hair.

  “I’m better though, better than last week anyways.”

  I sighed, “I don’t want to hurt you, Finn. It kills me to see you in pain.”

  He pushed against my ass, forcing me closer to him, “Can we try again? I promise to tell you if it hurts. If it does, we will stop.”

  It had been too damn long since Finn and I had been intimate. My body was craving his like it was a drug. I guess one more try wouldn’t kill me.

  “One more try. If you are in pain, we are stopping immediately.”

  His face lit up, “Of course, let’s go.”

  He got up on his crutches and maneuvered to his staircase. Finn had his own way of doing things now that he was getting used to the crutches. Watching him go up the stairs nearly gave me a heart attack every damn time, but he always made it up safely. We were soon in the bedroom and Finn was sitting on the edge of the bed tearing off my shirt. I groaned as he pulled down the cup to my bra and took my nipple in his mouth. I knew it was probably very early in my pregnancy, but was it possible that my breasts were already more sensitive than they were before?

 

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