by Maya Banks
Page 21
"So what about poor Nathan? Are you going to give the guy a break? Hes making himself crazy over you. "
"I havent decided his fate yet," Julie said thoughtfully. "I dont want to let him off lightly. I may not be pissed, but he went to some serious lengths to pull this over on me. "
"I dont like that look," Serena said slowly. "Youre usually plotting evil when you get that look. "
Julie gave her best innocent smile. "Who, me?"
"Sooo, tell me the answer to the million-dollar question. "
Julie arched a brow. "Which one is that?"
"How are Faiths leftovers in bed?"
Julies mouth dropped open. "You bitch. You had to go there, didnt you?"
Serena snickered, her eyes bubbling with mischief. "Youre the one who said youd never sleep with a friend s leftovers. "
"In answer to your question, he was damn good. Not as good as Nathan, but still good. At least Faith has never slept with Nathan!"
"Now that you have a threesome out of your system, how was it? All you thought it would be?"
"Who the hell says its out of my system?"
Serena snorted. "Knowing you, its not. "
"It was . . . exciting. Decadent. Had that edgy, forbidden feel to it. "
"But?"
"No but. "
"I could swear I heard a but in there. "
Julie smiled gently. How could she tell Serena the but was seeing her and Damon? That before she witnessed the absolute beauty of their love she would have said the nights with Nathan and Micah had been the best of her life?
"Maybe I just want more these days than some hot, sweaty sex and mindless bumping and grinding. "
Serena looked at her, mouth open. "But thats precisely what you said you wanted. No messy emotion. No expectations. "
"I know. Stupid of me, isnt it?"
"Its not stupid, Julie. It just seemed to have come from left field. "
"Put it this way. I saw something pretty damn special, and it made me realize what I was missing. Now, I havent decided if I want it yet. Im holding out hope that if I give myself enough time to come to my senses that Ill smack myself on the head and stay the course. "
"I wish Faith was here. Shed help me pry information out of those clamlike lips of yours. "
Julie smiled. "It was sweet of you to come over this morning. Im sorry I worried you, but you know Im glad to see you. "
"You had Damon worried too. He struggled over the ethics of allowing Nathan to participate in your fantasy. Micah might be his friend, but hes very protective of the women who come to The House. "
"Damon is a great guy," Julie said casually. "When are you going to put him out of his misery?"
A peculiar look crossed Serenas face.
"What?" Julie asked, latching onto that look. "What was that look? You arent taking a page out of Faiths book and dumping the man, are you? Dont make me hurt you. "
Serena flopped back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "If I tell you this youre going to think Im the biggest moron on the face of the planet. "
"Im afraid that particular title is mine," Julie said. "So spill. "
Serena sighed. "Ive been so preoccupied with worrying over whether this whole thing with Damon would last. What if I wouldnt want the type of relationship he wants long term? What if we got to that point and he couldnt accept that I no longer wanted it? What if, what if, what if until Ive driven myself crazy with all the what-ifs. "
"Recognizing your illness is the first step in your recovery," Julie said sagely.
Serena laughed. "Oh stop, Julie. Im being serious here. "
"Continue on," Julie said with a wave of her hand.
"When he asked me to marry him, all I could think was that in his position of power, how could he ever know why I accepted? Every time hes asked me, the power is weighted toward him. I dont know but it made me uncomfortable. I want. . . I want our marriage to start out on equal terms even if during the course of it I cede control and power to him. "
"You want it to be your choice. "
"Exactly! I dont want him to ever look back and doubt that I came to him freely, doubt that I gave myself entirely to him because it was what I wanted. I dont want him to think I was under some spell and would have agreed blindly if he asked me to jump off a bridge. "
Julie snickered.
"Oh shut up," Serena grumbled. "I know it sounds ridiculous. Maybe some of what inspired Faiths ninniness rubbed off on me. "
"There does seem to be a lot of that going around," Julie said wryly. "I wasnt immune to it, unfortunately. "
Serena gave her a quick hug. "Well, we can all be stupid twit females together. "
"Youll only be a stupid twit if you keep refusing Damons proposals. "
Serena pulled away and smiled one of her sexy, secretive smiles that probably drove men insane with lust. "Actually, I plan to ask him to marry me. Today. I figure he cant ever think that he coerced me if I do the asking. "
"Oooh, sneaky, devious. I love it! Id pay real money to be a fly on the wall when you ask him. "
"Yeah, Im pretty fond of the idea myself. "
"So? What are you doing over here? Get your ass back to your man and propose. "
Serena smiled and squeezed Julies hands again. "Because youre my friend and seeing you was more important this morning. I had to make sure you were okay. "
"Well, thanks. Im fine. Really. Nothing a day of pampering myself wont fix. "
"Want to do lunch this week when Faith gets back?"
"The hell with lunch. When she gets back we need to have a girls night out. Lots to celebrate. Her marriage, your engagement. "
"Okay, done. Faith is supposed to roll in Tuesday morning. Or at least thats when Damons jet is supposed to land. Knowing those two, its entirely possible theyd miss their own flight. "
"Go, go," Julie said, making shooing motions with her hands. "Go propose to that man of yours. Im so excited I cant stand it. Call me tomorrow and let me know how it went. "
Serena smiled so big Julie thought her mouth might crack. Now she knew what pure, unadulterated joy looked like.
"I will. Catch you later. "
Serena got up and with a small wave disappeared down the hallway to the front door. Julie watched her go with a peculiar twist in her chest. There went one happy woman.
Chapter 22
Serena smiled at Sam when he opened the back door for her. She leaned up and kissed the startled man on the cheek and all but flew to the front door.
She burst into the living room expecting to find Damon sitting in front of the fire with his book and a glass of wine, but to her disappointment the room was empty. She quickly weighed her options. He could be in his office, but if that was the case she didnt want to interrupt work with what she hoped to be a special moment. Or he could be up in the bedroom, which offered a whole host of possibilities.
She turned eagerly, only to see Sam walk into the living room.
"Miss James, you left the car so quickly I didnt have time to inform you that Mr. Roche is on the terrace. He wished you to join him when you returned. "
"Thank you, Sam," she said as she whirled and hurried toward the glass doors.
Her heart was beating like a freight train. She was breathless, scared, but happy. So very happy.
She came to a halt on the stone patio when she saw Damon sitting at the circular glass table several feet away. In her haste, shed forgotten to shed her shoes, and she kicked them off now, enjoying the warm concrete under her feet.
He was staring into the gardens, a glass of wine held idly in his hand. He looked contented, a man sure of his place in the world. And now, finally, she knew her place in the world. His world. It didnt matter where, as long as he was in it.
A ridiculous knot of nervous energy rolled in her stomach, squeezing until her breaths came out in little painful squeaks. Then he looked up and saw her.
She swallowed the huge lump in her th
roat when she saw his eyes soften with love. He had the most delicious brown eyes and they went positively liquid when he looked at her. She wanted to lock this moment away in time. If only she could stand here watching him look at her that way for the rest of her life, she would be happy.
"Serena mine," he murmured, holding his hand out to her.
She rushed forward, taking his hand and dropping to her knees beside his chair. She rubbed her face over his leg, closing her eyes as his fingers tangled in her hair.
"No, love, youre going to hurt your knees. The stone is too hard and rough for you out here. "
She shook her head. Knees? What knees? All she could feel was his love, wrapping securely around her, holding her when she couldnt hold herself.
"Come here," he said quietly, pulling her into his lap.
When she was settled against his chest, he stroked her long hair from her face with gentle fingers.
"Whats wrong, Serena?"
She expelled her breath in a quivering rush and smiled. "I love you. Do you know that, Damon? Do you know how much?"
He looked stunned by her announcement. His pupils flared, and his fingers stilled in her hair.
"I know. I hope I know. " He pressed his lips to her forehead, and she could feel him trembling against her. "I love you too, Serena mine. So damn much, I ache. "
She pulled away and caught his hand, pulling it from her hair to cradle it between her palms. For a moment she studied their entwined hands thinking of all the times she was bound to him, for him, only this time it was her doing the binding. She was in control.
When she looked back up at him, he was studying her with those deep brown eyes. Dropping his hand, she leaned forward, putting her palms against his face.
"Will you marry me, Damon? Will you be my husband and my lover for the rest of our lives?"
His eyes widened. First shock and then joy flooded them so warm and vibrant that tears clogged her throat, burning and squeezing. If shed had any reservations, any concerns, they vanished as she saw his relief. Had he been so worried she wouldnt marry him?
"Yes," he said solemnly. "Ill marry you, Serena mine. Anytime, anywhere. I dont care as long as youll be mine. "
She brought her lips to his, kissing him hungrily. Then she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him fiercely, content to just hold on and feel his strength, and his love.
"I dont want to wait," she whispered against his neck.
"Then we wont wait," he said simply.
"I want to be yours. "
"Youre already mine, Serena. No ceremony or lack thereof will ever change that. Youll always, always be mine. "
She smiled and squeezed him a little tighter. "We need to call your mom. And mine. She and Dad will want to fuss. " She pulled away and sat up to look him in the face. "I dont want a fuss but I dont want to disappoint my mom either. Maybe we could compromise and keep it small, just friends and immediate family. "
He cupped her cheek in his palm and smiled lovingly at her. "Do you know how happy youve just made me? Are you sure, Serena? You seemed to have doubts before. I want you to be sure this is what you want. I wont push you for more. You know that. "
"I do know. Oh, Damon, I love you so much. "
"It figures you would catch me so unprepared," he said ruefully. "The ring Ive carried everywhere with me over the last weeks is sitting upstairs in the drawer of my dresser. "
"We can get it later. All that matters right now is you and me. " She squirmed with excitement on his lap. "Im getting married. Holy hell, thats scary!"
He administered a light smack to her hip. "Marrying me should not be in the least bit scary. You should be swooning with joy. "
She grinned. "Okay, Ill stand up and swoon but if you dont catch me, Im going to kick your ass. "
"Id rather carry you upstairs, tie you to my bed and make love to you all afternoon long. Then maybe Ill let you up so we can call our families. "
"And they say romance is dead," she murmured as she closed her mouth over his.
Somewhere between the melancholy and the ass kicking, Julies self-disgust overpowered everything else. Which was good, because there was only so much wallowing she could take.
Yeah, Damon and Serena hit her hard, but they were Damon and Serena. Julie was . . . well, she was Julie. Looking at someone elses relationship for the answers was like reading about a romance novel hero and expecting to find a carbon copy in real life.
Smart women didnt do either. And above all, she was a smart woman.
After boiling in a bathtub for the better part of the afternoon, she applied fourteen different types of girly garb, painted her toenails, did all the waxing she could reach and went digging through her freezer for some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream.
She needed a plan. She wasnt going to, in the words of Serena, allow the kicked puppy to take over. No, that wasnt her style. What would the real Julie do when confronted with Nathans one-upsmanship?
She smiled around a spoonful of ice cream. The real Julie wouldnt get mad. Shed get even. And that posed all sorts of delectable possibilities.
