by Aileen Erin
The twins shared a long look, before Claudia turned to me. “I thought you were waiting until after the Tribunal.” She said the words carefully.
I knew that the relationship between the pack and la Aquelarre was strained, but the way her hands fisted at her sides made me realize she was a little more upset by this than I’d thought.
I should’ve kept my mouth shut. This was totally going to come back to bite me in the ass. We were rushing things because Dastien and I wanted a stronger case when we defended ourselves at the Tribunal for the whole biting thing and all the drama that had happened afterward. If the brujos started interfering… “No. We’re doing it tonight,” I said as casually as possible.
“Are you sure about joining into this kind of a bond? Once done, it can’t be easily undone. Not even by us,” Raphael said.
I didn’t like the threat of them breaking our bond, let alone the fact that that was even possible. Should I lie? I asked Dastien through our bond.
He shrugged.
Way to be helpful. I’d grown up being told honesty was the best policy. Guess that applied here. “Yeah. I’m sure.”
The twins gave each other another long look.
A horrible sinking feeling crept over me. It was like someone had just walked over my grave, and all the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.
I’d come to know that feeling well. It usually meant bad things were coming. It wasn’t exactly a premonition—I didn’t have those. My visions were only of the past and present, but every once in a while I got really good gut feelings about what was going to happen.
As soon as I answered, I knew in my soul that I should’ve lied. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, but we should go. Let you celebrate with your friends.” Raphael smiled, but the expression wasn’t real. “Felicidades, prima.” The way he said it, all soft, made it sound like an apology.
They left without another word.
The room was quiet. Frozen. We all knew how the rest of the coven felt about Dastien and me, but I hadn’t realized that extended to my cousins. It had to be a recent development—as in the last couple of days.
Had I majorly screwed up? And if so, when? I’d borrowed their books to help Meredith, but I’d give everything back if that would fix whatever was wrong.
Or maybe I was being too sensitive? Dad’s reaction already had my defenses up.
I swallowed. “Anyone else think that visit was off?”
Donovan nodded. “Aye. I think we’ll be hearing from them again soon.”
“They couldn’t stop the ceremony, could they?” I asked.
“I don’t think so?” Dastien said.
“You don’t think so? Was that a question?” The wolf in me rose to the surface and I buried my face in Dastien’s chest before I started sprouting claws. I couldn’t let my wolf free in the middle of my parents’ kitchen. I inhaled deeply, letting the scent of him calm me.
He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight. “It’s going to be fine,” he murmured in my ear. “Dono, should we call in some reinforcements?”
“We’ll have plenty on campus, but I’ll let word out that we might have trouble headed our way. We’ll get you through this, Tessa, even if your coven shows up.”
I pulled away from Dastien and scanned my friends’ faces. No one would meet my gaze except for Donovan. His arms were crossed as he frowned. Not exactly encouraging.
“Shit. My birthday just got sucky, huh?”
“Who wants cake?” Mom said in a false cheery voice.
“Me,” I said. Might as well head off this bad feeling with a massive sugar high. “I’ll just take all of one sheet and maybe half of the other.”
“Eating your bodyweight in cake isn’t going to fix this,” Axel said.
“I disagree. Cake will totally help,” Meredith said. “Ice cream, too.”
I laughed, but it was forced.
I’d spent weeks dreading the full moon, but now that I’d finally shifted for the first time, I was pretty damned excited about the ceremony. I wanted it so badly that the thought of it not happening made me feel stabby. There’d be another chance next month, but I didn’t want to wait. We needed it now so we could get through the Tribunal.
Hopefully Dastien was right and we were overreacting, but I had a feeling we were exactly right. With just a few words, I’d screwed over both my birthday and my first full moon ceremony.
I’d bet my life that we’d be seeing more of the coven before the moon rose.
Chapter Two
Everyone took off back to campus after the cake, leaving only my family and Dastien. My parents wanted a little alone time before I went back to the dorm. Even though they knew what was going to happen tonight in a vague sort of way, they couldn’t be there. It was a Were-only thing.
The tension in the house was only getting worse thanks to the cousins’ visit. As I did the dishes, Dad started whispering to Mom about how they should stop the ceremony. Suddenly, the kitchen seemed too small.
I moved to the wraparound porch and sat on the swing to soak in a little bit of quiet. The screen door screeched. My eyes were closed, but I didn’t need to open them to recognize Dastien sitting down beside me. I could sense it through our bond and the scent in the air—that lovely mix of forest and dirt and him. I rested my head on his shoulder and he nuzzled against me.
“Nervous?” he asked after a moment.
“A little.” Straddling the lines between human, wolf, and witch was hard. Each part pulled me in a different direction. Being with Dastien was easy. Natural. I wasn’t worried about that, but the ceremony symbolized taking the final plunge into my life as a Were, letting it take precedence over everything else.
I knew why Dad was having so much trouble with it. Everything was changing for me. Fast. “I still feel like a kid, you know? And we’re basically getting married tonight. When I think about it, it’s kind of crazy.”
He lifted his arm so I could scoot closer. I pressed my head to his chest, and listened to his steady heartbeat as he ran his fingers through my hair.
“What’s making you nervous exactly?”
I blew out a breath. “Honestly?”
“I only ever want the truth from you.” His chest vibrated under my ear as he spoke, his voice low and rumbly.
“Just don’t laugh.”
“Cherie. I would never laugh.”
That wasn’t true at all and we both knew it. He laughed at me all the time. It was a good thing I didn’t take it personally. I poked his side.
“I laugh with you,” he said as he chuckled, and batted my finger away.
“Everything’s changed so quickly. I feel like I’m always racing to catch up.” My nerves wound tighter as I talked, which was why I’d been avoiding this discussion. “I want to hit pause for a bit. Enjoy this moment. Have some time to grow up.”
His fingers continued to run through my hair, soothing me. I swung my legs over his to get a little closer. I felt his smile through the bond—a jolt of pleasure because I wanted to be closer to him. It made Dastien happy, which settled my nerves a little more.
“No one said you have to have everything sorted tonight. We still have time to grow up, but we’ll grow up together. As a team.” He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. “Don’t forget, I’m only two years older than you.”
“I know, but you feel a lot older.”
He laughed again. “Thanks?”
I slapped his stomach. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just that you always seem to have it all figured out.”
“I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m not a worrier. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to know how everything’s going to work out. It’s impossible.” He tugged on my hair a little, and I swatted his hand away.
The guy had a point, but that didn’t mean I’d stop worrying anytime soon.
I smelled the jasmine in Mom’s perfume a moment before she stepped onto the porch. She sat on the swing on my other sid
e, careful not to touch me. It was still ingrained. Growing up, any brush of skin was enough to bombard me with flashes of thoughts and memories. Of everyone in the family, Mom had always been the best at controlling herself around me, mostly because she grew up with my grandmother—the source of my talent.
“So, what’s the ceremony like?”
Dastien’s hand found mine, and he squeezed, sending me his support.
“Well, there’s one every month. Apparently, everyone gets together and shifts and runs, but some pack business gets taken care of, too. Anything that changes the pack structure.” I hadn’t been sure I was going to go through with the ceremony until after I shifted. Since then, I’d finally had time to ask questions about the process. Dastien and Meredith had been pretty great about filling me in over the past couple of days.
The only part that I wasn’t too into was biting Dastien. Apparently, I had to eat a little bit of the flesh and blood of my mate—completely barbaric and disgusting. Dastien had done his part when he bit me, but I still had to return the favor.
Yuck.
I figured vague was best for the icky part. “We recite some words—kind of like marriage vows—and then it’s done. We shift and take an evening run.” I sat up, moving my legs from Dastien’s lap. “I know it’s a lot to accept, but Dad seems pretty not okay with the whole thing.”
She shrugged. “You’re still his baby. We figured we’d have years before we had anything like this come up, and that was if you could ever let someone get close to you.”
Yeah. I hadn’t been too sure about the whole being-able-to-have-a-boyfriend thing either. Before, it’d seemed like a long shot at best. “I don’t want to upset him.”
“He’s not upset.”
I sat up enough to look at her. “We both know he is.”
“One of the hardest things about being a parent is letting go,” Mom said. “We lost your brother to college this year, and that was hard, but very expected. We didn’t expect to lose you, too. Not like this.”
God. She made it sound like I was dying. “You’re not losing me.”
She brushed her hand across my forehead, sweeping a piece of hair behind my ear.
I was suddenly in my parents’ bedroom as a vision took hold.
“She’s my little girl. I don’t want her to grow up so fast,” Dad said. He wore the same clothes he was wearing today. Tears glistened in his eyes. “Can’t she wait?”
I jerked away from Mom’s touch. She was the only one with enough control to show me exactly what she wanted me to see and no more, but that I didn’t mean I wanted to see anything. It felt too intrusive.
“Is this where the party is?” Axel came out to the porch and handed me an ice-cold Diet Coke, breaking the tension. He was my savior when he wasn’t being a pain in my ass.
I popped the tab on the Coke, and took a long drink. I needed to consume more calories as a wolf, but I still liked diet sodas. I’d gotten used to the taste and regular Coke tasted wrong now.
He handed Dastien and Mom root beers and leaned against the railing on the porch. “So, what’s the drama now?”
I rolled my eyes. “No drama.”
“You guys look pretty serious for a drama-free zone.”
I plucked the tab off my can and threw it at him. “Jerk.”
“Nerd,” he countered. “So, what’s up?”
“Nothing. We’re just talking about growing up.”
Axel made a face. “Yeah. That’s a mood-killer for sure.”
“Look. I know you’re worried, but nothing much is changing tonight,” Dastien said.
I scoffed. It seemed like a lot was changing tonight.
“We’re formalizing what’s already happened, so it’s like getting upset over the past. Not worth it. She doesn’t even have to move in with me.”
Uh, I was kind of looking forward to that, I said through our bond. And I wasn’t really going to tell them that part.
We have to be honest with them. You’re lucky to have two great parents who care about you, and they’re freaking out right now, so we have to be considerate.
What they don’t know won’t hurt them…
No. We’re not going to lie to them. I just think—
“They’re talking to each other in their heads.” Axel scrunched his nose. “They’re making all the faces they would if they were talking aloud, except without the words. It’s so fucking creepy.”
“Axel! Language!” Mom swatted his leg.
My cheeks burned. It felt like being caught doing something really intimate.
“Sorry. That was rude.” Dastien took the blame, but I was the one who’d started the conversation.
“My bad.” I took a long sip from my drink.
“Just don’t knock up my sister.”
I nearly spewed Diet Coke all over him.
Dastien patted my back as I nearly choked again. I was on a roll today. “Jesus, Axel. Shut up.”
“Who’s talking about knocking my daughter up?” Dad said as he stepped outside.
I groaned. If he owned a shotgun, I was pretty sure he’d be cocking it right about now. “No one is getting knocked up.” I’d need to have a sex life to get preggo and we hadn’t gone there yet.
And God. Could this be more embarrassing?
“Just be safe,” Mom said as she patted my hand.
I was wrong. It could totally get more embarrassing. “Please. For the love of all that’s holy, everyone just ixnay on the exsay alktay.”
“If you can’t say it, honey, you shouldn’t be having it.”
Jesus Christ almighty.
I set my drink on the ground and covered my face with my hands. “Did no one hear what I just said? Shit. And it’s my birthday…”
I heard Dastien’s laugh through the bond. I peeked at him and his face was a perfect mask of serious.
This isn’t funny.
It’s extremely funny.
“No. It’s humiliating.”
Just think, this time next week, we’ll be getting ready for some Paul van Dyk.
I grinned. Can’t wait. “Hey.” I kicked Axel’s foot. “We’re going to PvD next Saturday. If you wanna go, you’re gonna need tickets.”
“Dastien warned me a while back. I guess I’m going to suffer through yet another night of Nintendo music for you.”
Axel had always been my dancing partner, even if he didn’t like the music. Hitting the clubs had been my one release when we lived in LA. “Awesome. Thanks.” The tickets were Dastien’s birthday present to me and I couldn’t wait. We had the same taste in music—a heavy rotation of trance and house with some breaks and ambient mixed in. I never thought I’d meet someone who shared my passions, but Dastien did. He got me.
“Can we have a moment with our daughter before you go?” Dad asked.
I started to protest—whatever Dad said to me he could say to Dastien—but Dastien stood before I could say anything. “Of course. I’ll wait by the car?”
We were quiet as Dastien stepped off the porch. I knew he could probably hear whatever we said—werewolves had fantastic hearing—but he gave my family the illusion of privacy as he leaned against his black Porsche Cayenne at the end of the driveway.
“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Dad asked. “If you want to wait, I’m sure we can talk to Michael.”
Mr. Dawson, a.k.a. Michael, was Dad’s boss, the head of St. Ailbe’s and the local pack. Even if I wanted Dad to step in—which I didn’t—it wouldn’t do any good. It wasn’t Mr. Dawson’s decision.
I cracked my knuckles as I stared across the driveway at Dastien. The way he leaned against the car made my heart race.
He wasn’t even doing anything and my whole body flushed. How could that get me so riled?
“I’m not nervous about it. Dastien…” God. My face burned because I knew he’d be listening to this. “Dastien is kind of perfect for me. I’m a worrier and he’s mega calm. We have the same interests in music and dancing and whatnot.
I’m not good at the fighting stuff and he’s not good at the magic stuff. It’s like we balance each other. We fit.”
I couldn’t even explain what I’d felt when I first saw him. From that moment, it was like I already knew him. I’d never felt something so strongly. And when I left him at the mall, the longing that drew me to him… I couldn’t help but hope he felt the same.
“I know it’s fast and we’re all still adjusting to everything that’s happened, but I need to do this. I think once I do, I’ll feel more settled. But right now, it’s like something could happen and I dunno. I’m nervous. I’m on edge.” The more I tried to pinpoint my feelings the more illusive they became. It wasn’t just growing up that was bothering me.
I blew out a breath. “I don’t know what to say, but I want you to trust me. It’s going to be okay.”
Dad pulled me in for a hug, and I wrapped my arms around him. Dad was always free with his hugs. He didn’t understand my visions the way Mom did, so he didn’t keep his distance. But I didn’t care anymore. Now that I finally had more control, I could relax into his embrace. “You want away from the pack, then we’ll find a way,” Dad said.
I kissed his scruffy cheek. “Thanks, Dad. But seriously, I’m going to be okay.”
He blinked, not letting tears fall. “Okay, big girl.”
Mom pulled me in for a hug next. “Te quiero mucho.”
“I love you, too.”
I turned to Axel.
“God. It’s like it’s a fucking funeral.”
“Axel!” Mom said.
“What? It’s true.” He pulled me in for a hug, too. “I love you, kiddo. Good luck tonight. And happy birthday. You finally have friends, you awkward dork.”
“I love you, too.” I shoved him away as I laughed. “I’m gonna go. Gotta get ready.”
“Don’t miss dinner next Sunday. Even if you’re tired from dancing,” Mom said.
“Will do.”
I walked to Dastien’s car, and he opened the door for me.
“Hey, Dastien,” Axel shouted.
“What?”
“Take care of my sister or I’ll be forced to kick your ass.”
I laughed. We all knew that the only way Axel was kicking Dastien’s ass was if Dastien let him.
