by Emma Lea
Stevie groaned. “God, Marci, what am I going to do? Jace and Nadine are behaving like children. I’ve tried talking to them but I don’t know if I made any difference. We can’t go on like this or it’s going to rip us apart.”
Marci took a deep breath and Stevie lifted her head to look at her questioningly.
“Okay,” she said. “Don’t yell at me and don’t make a snap decision, just hear me out, okay?”
Stevie nodded.
“You’ve had an offer to make a solo album.”
Stevie’s eyes widened. “What!”
“Shh,” Marci said, looking around to make sure no one overheard them. “It’s not a concrete offer. Someone came to me to put out some feelers to see if you would be interested.”
Stevie sat back in her seat, her head spinning. “What about the band?”
Marci shrugged. “The way things look at the moment, you guys will be lucky to last the tour. If Lily doesn’t kick you off, I don’t know whether you will even have a band at the end of it, not if the fights keep happening.”
Stevie closed her eyes. “We have a contract with Derek,” she said.
“A one album and one tour contract, which was always going to be renewed after this tour. You’ve done the album and if you complete the tour then you will be a free agent.”
Stevie opened her eyes and looked at Marci. The woman had never steered them wrong, not the whole time she had been their agent. “What are you saying Marci?” Stevie asked. “Do you think the band is falling apart?”
Marci searched Stevie’s eyes and then shook her head slowly. “I don’t know. You guys have had a steep learning curve. You have gone straight from studio musicians to stars in such a truncated timeframe that there’s bound to be tension and issues. Not many people can make the transition. Most studio musicians are studio musicians because they didn’t make it big.”
“I disagree,” Stevie said. “The four of us decided it was what we wanted.”
“Was it really? Was that your dream when you started playing?”
Stevie had to admit that Marci was right. She’d ended up in the studio because of her failed attempt at making it big. Derek offering her the job had saved her music career. She didn’t know what the Court siblings’ reasons were. For being in a band with them, she really didn’t know much about them. Well about their past anyway.
“Look,” Marci said with a sigh, “I know this is a big decision for you and as I said, you don’t have to decide today. It is an open offer to discuss the possibilities, nothing more. I just wanted you to know that you had options. If this doesn’t work out then you do have an opportunity waiting in the wings.”
Marci stood and smiled down at Stevie. “I know this is a shit thing to drop on you now but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t bring any and all offers to you.”
“Thanks Marci,” Stevie said.
Marci walked away and Stevie slid down in her chair so she could rest her head against the wall. The shitty thing about it all was that Stevie was tempted. The atmosphere on the bus and on stage had been really crap over the last few days, weeks even if she was honest. After their discussion that afternoon, she kind of understood what was going on with the siblings, but that would mean jack shit if they didn’t change their behavior. It was entirely possible that they weren’t cut out to make it as a band, something that they would have found out earlier if they had come up through the ranks like other bands. What Stevie had to decide now was, was she prepared to wait them out and see if they could get their shit together? Or should she walk away before something happened that they couldn’t come back from.
Chapter Sixteen
The sound of the crowd faded away as Stevie walked into the dressing room and through to the attached bathroom. The set had gone okay… just okay. Nadine and Jace were barely speaking to one another and the tension was palpable on stage. She just hoped it hadn’t transferred to the crowd. At least neither of them had started something on stage or stormed off stage before the set was over. With as volatile as the two siblings had been, Stevie wouldn’t put it past them.
Using a damp towel, Stevie wiped off as much sweat and stage makeup as she could. She heard the door open and close, but assumed it was just one of the others coming in. She thought they’d been right behind her, but obviously not. She just hoped Jace and Nadine weren’t at it again. The last thing they needed was another blow up, especially while Lily was on stage.
She walked out of the bathroom and stopped. Carson stood in the small dressing room.
“Carson,” she said, “what are you doing here?”
“I was in town,” he said with a grin. “I thought I’d come and say hi. Hi.”
Stevie smiled back and shook her head. “I told you that we weren’t getting back together.” She didn’t have time for this. Jace was supposed to meet her to go and watch some of Lily’s set. Where the hell was he, anyway?
“I know,” Carson said, stepping forward. “That’s not why I’m here.”
Stevie sighed. “So why are you here?”
“Okay, this is going to sound lame,” he began with a self-deprecating smile. “I miss you—“
“Carson—”
“No. Hear me out. I miss our friendship. I miss just being able to talk to you. Can’t we still be friends? I respect that you don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with me, but I don’t want to lose you from my life completely.”
Stevie sighed. “We broke up nearly a year ago and now you want to be friends?”
He shrugged. “I tried it your way,” he said. “It didn’t work for me. Seeing you first in Nashville and then in Apple Tree Creek reminded me of what I was missing. You’re the only person who is always completely honest with me. I’m surrounded by people who want to impress me so they say yes to everything I suggest. I’m going to turn into an egotistical pain in the ass unless there’s someone in my life who can cut through the bullshit. You were always good at that. You keep me from believing my own press.”
Stevie smiled. She had missed the easy relationship that the two of them had shared. One couldn’t be with someone for that long and not miss them when they were gone. Their split had been amicable; they hadn’t fought, there hadn’t been angry words thrown around that couldn’t be taken back.
“Fine,” she said. “Friends?”
Carson grinned and shook he outstretched hand. “Friends.”
The door opened and Jace stuck his head though. “Is it safe to come in now?” he asked.
Stevie narrowed her eyes at Carson. “You told them not to come in?”
He shrugged. “I just wanted us to have a conversation without being interrupted. How about I take you out to dinner?”
Stevie shook her head. “I can’t. Jace and I have a date.”
Carson raised an eyebrow. “A date?”
Stevie nodded as Jace came in and stripped off his sweat-soaked t-shirt before disappearing into the bathroom.
“We’re going to watch some of Lily’s concert… to see how the pros do it.”
“Do you mind if I tag along?” Carson asked.
Stevie bit the corner of her lip. Friends would do that wouldn’t they? Hell, she was going with Jace and he was a friend, what would the harm be in Carson coming along too? Maybe Nadine or Vanessa might join them.
“Of course not,” Stevie replied with a smile.
“Ready?” Jace asked coming out of the bathroom in a clean t-shirt.
“Carson’s going to come with us.”
Jace narrowed his eyes a fraction but then nodded. “Okay, let’s go.”
“Where are the girls?” Stevie asked as the headed out of the dressing room.
Jace shrugged. “Nessa said something about them going to a party with some guys they met. I didn’t ask for details, I thought it would be better if I didn’t know.”
Stevie hooked her arm through his and smiled up at him. “Thanks, Jace,” she said.
He grimaced down at her before smiling
. “I’m trying,” he said.
“And that’s all I ask.”
“So where are we going to watch the concert from?” Carson asked.
“Only the best place to be at a concert,” Stevie said with a grin, “Although, you probably should have changed out of the suit.”
Carson looked down at himself and shrugged. “I forget I’m wearing them these days. I don’t think I even own any other clothes. I may very well sleep in suits, I’m usually too tired to change when I get home.”
Stevie grinned and felt the tension in her shoulders slip away. Jace was trying to mend the rift between him and Nadine, and Carson just wanted to be a friend. It was more than she could have asked for. Her world seemed to right itself again and she let the sound of the crowd and the pulse of the music carry her away. For tonight she didn’t need to play ‘mother’ to anyone. She could just let her hair down and enjoy being in the crowd at a Lily Ames concert.
She grabbed Jace and Carson’s hands and dragged them into the mosh pit.
“Fuck you! Fuck you Jace and your fucking opinions!”
Stevie sat up in her bunk. She had barely closed her eyes only to be awoken by yet another fight between the Court siblings.
“Shh, Nadine. Shh. I’m just worried about you.”
“Get your judgey-mcjudgey hands off me!”
“Ness, what did she take?”
Stevie couldn’t hear the reply. Was Nadine okay? Her words were slurred and Jace sounded really worried about her. Stevie slipped out of the bunk and tip-toed down the aisle of the bus. She peeked around the edge of the bunks to the small area at the front of the bus. Jace was pacing and Nadine was sprawled across the bench seat, her skin scarily pale. Vanessa sat near Nadine’s head, wringing her hands.
“I’m going to fucking kill those assholes if I ever see them again,” Jace raged gruffly as he paced.
“Nadine?” Vanessa said, stroking the hair off Nadine’s forehead. “What did you take, honey?”
But Nadine didn’t answer.
“Nadine?” Vanessa’s voice took on a panicked tone. “Wake up Nadine.”
Vanessa looked up at Jace. He must have seen something in her face because he crouched beside the bench seat and took Nadine’s hand in his.
“Nadine? Wake up, honey.”
Nadine didn’t respond.
“Shit!” Jace exclaimed, patting Nadine on the cheek in an effort to rouse her.
“What’s going on?” Stevie said, coming into the room, her worry overriding their need for privacy.
“It’s Nadine,” Vanessa said, her eyes wide and her face pale. “She won’t wake up.”
“Is she breathing?” Stevie asked and Jace bent his head to Nadine’s chest.
“I-I don’t know,” he said, his voice shaky.
“Call the ambulance,” Stevie told Vanessa as she pulled out her own phone. “I’ll call Marci.”
Jace continued to talk to Nadine, trying to get her to wake up as Vanessa called the paramedics.
“Marci!” Stevie said when their manager picked up. “Something’s wrong with Nadine. She’s passed out and we don’t know if she’s breathing.”
“Have you called the paramedics?” Marci said, her voice all business. Stevie could hear rustling in the background as if Marci was dressing while she talked.
“Vanessa’s on with them now.”
“I’ll be there in two seconds,” Marci said. “Just keep calm. Everything will be alright.”
Stevie disconnected from the call and started pacing as Jace murmured softly to Nadine. How could this be happening? Just when she thought they were finding their way, Nadine had to go and do something stupid. Stevie forced her spinning thoughts to calm. This was not the time for blame and recriminations. Right now, they just had to get Nadine through this then there would be some hard questions asked. She had to survive this first.
Marci bounded up the steps of the bus and shooed Jace away from the unconscious Nadine.
“What happened? Did she take something?”
“We don’t know,” Jace said.
“She had lots to drink,” Vanessa said, “and then I saw this guy hand her something but I don’t know what it was.”
“Okay, don’t panic. The paramedics are on their way.”
The words were barely out of her mouth before they heard the sirens and the strobe lights lit up the interior of the bus. Marci jumped up and headed out to meet them.
“Come on,” Stevie said. “Let’s get out of their way so they can work.”
She took Jace’s hand in hers and he took Vanessa’s and they moved as one out the door letting the paramedics in.
They stood in a huddle, holding on to one another, fearing the worst. Marci paced, her phone glued to her ear. Stevie didn’t know who she was talking to, maybe Derek? Everything seemed to be happening as if Stevie were watching it on a screen. She felt removed from it all, like it was a movie being played out instead of real life. She couldn’t seem to be able to make sense of it. She needed to talk to someone or rather, she needed someone to talk to her. She needed to be grounded, to feel her feet beneath her. Jace and Vanessa were in no frame of mind to be a support for her. They needed her. She took her phone and dialed, not even thinking about what she was doing.
“Hello? Stevie?”
“Nate,” she said on an exhale and then she began to sob.
“Stevie what is it? Talk to me sweetheart.”
“It’s Nadine,” she managed to get out. “The paramedics…”
“It’s okay Stevie, I’m here. It’s going to be okay. What happened to Nadine?”
“She went to a party. Drank too much… I don’t know. Maybe she took something? Vanessa doesn’t know.”
“It’s okay. She’ll be okay. You said the paramedics were there?”
“Yeah,” Stevie said. The sound of his voice calmed her, she only wished he was there to hold her in his arms and keep her body from falling apart. “They’re working on her now.”
“Okay…okay.” He took a deep breath. “I’m going to stay on the line with you, okay? You don’t have to say anything—”
“It’s been so awful,” she said, walking away from the others so she could talk to Nate without them overhearing. “Nadine and Jace have been at each other’s throats. They had a big fight this afternoon during sound check and pissed Lily off because they made us go overtime. I don’t know what to do. I’m so sick of trying to be the peacemaker, of trying to mediate their fights.”
“Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry that is happening. Touring is really hard on relationships, being in close quarters—”
“It’s more than that, though,” Stevie said. “We all live together, we have for ages. Why is being on the bus any different? No. This is because of the fame. We are getting mobbed at nearly every venue now and Nadine’s… changed. She’s become a brat and Jace has turned into this militant, overbearing asshole. It’s doing my head in.”
“I’m on a break for a couple of days. Do you want me to come to you?”
Oh God, yes, she wanted that. “No,” she said, “I just needed to talk to someone tonight. Someone who might understand what’s going on.”
“You can call me anytime, Stevie,” he said.
“Stevie!”
Stevie looked up to see Carson walking towards her through the hospital corridor.
“Carson? What are you doing here?”
He cupped her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “I came as soon as I heard. Are you okay?”
She nodded, but the tears that she had been keeping in check all night spilled over her lashes. She didn’t resist him as he pulled her against his chest and encircled her with his arms.
“Is Nadine okay?” he asked before kissing the top of her head.
“Yeah,” she mumbled into his chest. “Vanessa and Jace are with her now. We were worried she’d overdosed or something, but the doctors think it was just a combination of exhaustion and too much alcohol. Whatever drug she took pushed her
body over the edge.”
Stevie pushed away from Carson and began to pace the small waiting room.
“I’m just so angry, you know? I thought we were all grown-up enough not to get involved in shit like that. I’m so pissed at Nadine but then I was so scared for her too.”
Carson came to stand behind her, his chest to her back and his hands on her shoulders. “Hey. It’s okay. These are perfectly normal emotions to be feeling. You guys have been given this great opportunity and she goes and does something stupid like this and puts everything you’ve been working for in jeopardy.”
Stevie stepped away from him, biting the edge of her thumbnail. His words were correct but she didn’t like that he was saying them. She wanted to defend Nadine, tell him that she was just trying to deal with the instant fame in the only way she knew how, but Stevie didn’t think Carson would agree with her. When it came to things like this, Carson was very black and white. He always had been. It’s why he went into politics and the very reason she knew a relationship with him wouldn’t work. Carson wasn’t very good with grey areas.
“Hey. I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh, coming up behind her again but not touching her. “The last thing you need is me being all judgmental. It’s not my place and you’re worried about your friend.”
She sighed and turned, leaning her head against his chest. Maybe Carson was changing. He’d told her he was. What she needed right now was a friend who would just hold her or listen to her or even just let her cry if that was what she needed. Her body ached for Nate, but the familiarity of Carson - his scent, the warmth of his body, the familiar way she moulded into his arms - was comforting. Nate had stayed on the phone with her until she’d gotten to the hospital and they’d found out that Nadine was going to be okay. He’d asked her over and over again if she wanted him to come to her. Stevie knew he would if she asked. Despite everything that had happened between them, Stevie knew that Nate would be there for her if she ever said the word. And she wanted to. Really, really wanted to say the word and have him there holding her instead of Carson. But she was trying to respect his need for space between them. She had survived five years without him, she could do it for a little while longer until he was ready to face her again. As much as she wanted Nate right now, she was prepared to wait. Instead, she clung to Carson, burying her face in his chest and breathing in his expensive cologne. His steady strength helped to keep her calm while they waited for news.
