by Amy Richie
I cringed away from the nonchalant way he talked about what we were.
“I’m sure it will be fine.” Just a few days. “Are you staying there with me?”
“I have a flat downtown. Yours is just an efficiency.” He didn’t look my way, so I let the conversation die.
My thoughts swirled around uncomfortably in my head all throughout the flight and even after we landed. I followed obediently behind Rueben when he led me to a car that was parked in the enormous parking lot. I barely even noticed the scenery passing by my window.
I had never been to New York–Marcus didn’t like the States very much. He said it was too new for him and he preferred the old feel of London. Seeing the dirtiness all around us when we stepped out of the car, I had to agree with him.
I waited by my car door until Rueben came around to me. “Claudia?” His forehead crinkled with confusion.
“Yeah?”
“You’ve been awfully quiet.”
“I… um…”
“Why are you just standing here?”
“Waiting for you.”
“Hmm.” He raised his eyebrows slightly and held out his hand. I took his offered hand and let him lead me up several flights of steps to a small one roomed apartment.
“Will you be comfortable here?” he asked with a worried, lopsided smile.
“Probably not,” I forced a chuckle.
“Come on, sit down,” he offered a large white chair to me.
When I sat in it, the thick material seemed to swallow me up. “Nice chair.”
“I had hoped you would like it.”
I looked around the fully furnished apartment with growing alarm. “Do you think he’ll come back for me soon?”
“Define soon.”
“In a few days?”
He sat in one of the kitchen chairs, not quite with his back to me, but he didn’t look at me either. “No.”
“A week?”
“Claudia.”
“A few weeks?” I recognized the panic in my voice and I tried to calm myself down.
“If there was a way for my brother to come for you, I know that he would.” He turned his face away to give me time to compose myself.
“How… how am I going to…?”
“You will.” He turned to look directly at me. “You will because you have to.”
I tried not to break down in front of this almost stranger who happened to be family, but my bottom lip was already shaking too much. “Yep.”
“I know this is hard.” He startled me with how fast he was standing in front of me. “I understand how lost you’re feeling right now.”
“You do?”
He blew air into the space around us. “It will get easier, you know.”
“That’s what they say,” my voice broke.
“It will, Claudia.”
I nodded, quick little jerks of my head. “If you say so.”
“Do you want me to stay here tonight?”
Did I? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be left alone or not, but I would probably be more uncomfortable with Rueben here peppering me with invasive questions. Maybe a night of rest was what I needed.
“I’ll be fine here alone.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah,” I swallowed hard. “Will you be back in the morning?”
“Of course. We’ll hunt then.” His eyes darkened momentarily. “Do you need to hunt now?”
“No. I’m fine.”
“Okay.” He pursed his lips. He seemed about to say something, but then changed his mind. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“Goodnight.” He moved quickly to the door. “And, um…”
He turned back with his hand on the door knob. “Yes?”
“Thanks, Rueben… You know, for coming and getting me.”
“Try to get some sleep.” And then he was gone.
My suitcase had been left just inside the door, but I was shaking too hard to worry about changing into a nightgown. I slipped out of my jeans and crawled under the heavy blanket on the full sized bed wearing only my tee shirt and underwear.
The bed was too close to the only window for sleep to come easily. Outside, the noises of the unfamiliar city kept my mind off of feeling sorry for myself for a while.
“Marcus, where are you?” I whispered softly.
Chapter Thirty-Six
I breathed in the dirty scents of the city. It wasn’t anything like I was used to. There was garbage and filth all around me. Rueben had taken me to a maze of alleys behind my apartment. I wasn’t even sure if I could find my way back to the small apartment Rueben had given to me.
“Did you not sleep well, Claudia?” Rueben asked.
“It was alright. The bed was a little stiff, and there was a lot of noise.” I wrinkled my nose in distaste.
He laughed. “You’ll get used to it.”
My jaw clenched tight. He had been saying that since we met at the airport the day before. “I guess.”
“Do you need to hunt?”
My top teeth throbbed at his words. “I am thirsty,” I admitted. I couldn’t understand why I had to come with him. Wouldn’t it have been easier for him to bring it to me?
“There’s an old woman just down there,” he pointed to a spot further down the alley.
I breathed out heavily in agitation. I could hear the steady beat of the woman’s heart–could hear the blood sloshing in her veins. My teeth jutted out further. I really hated when they did that. I scowled over at Rueben.
“Go on,” he urged.
“What?” My teeth snapped back up in shock. Did he expect me to hunt?
“Of course I expect you to hunt. How else would you eat?”
“You can hunt for me,” I said with clear confusion, “and bring it back to me.”
“Why the hell would I do that?”
I blinked my eyes slowly, not sure exactly what was happening. “I thought…”
“You thought what?”
“That you would hunt for me.”
“You can hunt for yourself.”
“No, I can’t.”
“You’re a vampire.”
“Thank you for pointing that out.”
“You have been for a long time.”
“I know.”
“You must have hunted hundreds of times–maybe thousands.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “I thought Marcus explained things to you.”
“You can hunt for yourself,” he said angrily.
My own lips pressed into a thin line to match his. “I…”
“You’re not a baby.”
“I didn’t say that I was.” My anger flared high.
“You want me to treat you like you are one.”
“I never…”
“You want me to hunt for you, right?” He stood with his hands balled into fists and handing at his sides. His nostrils flared with each breath he took.
“But I thought…”
“I would do anything for my brother. When he calls, I answer. That’s just how family works.”
“And now…”
“And now you are part of my family as well.”
“I…”
He cut me off again, this time with a glare that made me want to cower against the wall. The shadows in the alley made his eyes darker. He looked just like a… a…
“A monster?” He sneered my way.
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
“Out loud, you mean? Did you forget that I can hear your thoughts?” He flicked his fingers toward my head.
“No,” I sulked.
“Just as clearly as if you had spoken the words out loud.”
“Then don’t listen,” I hissed.
He crossed his arms and squared his shoulders. “Tell me what I’m thinking.”
“What?” I took a step back.
“What am I thinking?” He asked more slowly.
“I don’t…how am I supposed to know?”
“You’re
more than 100 years old. This should be easy for you.”
“It’s not.”
“You can’t hunt, you can’t hear my thoughts, you can’t handle yourself in a crowd,” he stepped closer to me until I was against the wall. “Marcus should have taught you all these things.”
“I can hear his thoughts,” I said weakly. Sometimes.
“Tell me,” he cocked his head to regard me coldly. “When is the last time you yourself actually hunted?”
I licked my lips nervously. “It’s been…”
“When?” His voice growled menacingly.
“I hunted a few days after Marcus changed me,” I told him finally.
“And?”
I took a deep breath and let it back out quickly. “That’s it.”
“One time?” He almost laughed until he realized I was serious. “You have got to be kidding me.” He pushed me roughly down the alley a few steps. “Go and hunt,” he ordered harshly.
“I’m not doing it,” I folded my arms defiantly across my chest.
He brought his face within inches of mine, no sign of softening on his hard features. “Then you won’t eat.”
He turned away without another word and began a brisk walk away from me. I felt my jaw drop. “Marcus said you were supposed to help me,” I tried to remember that he could hear me well, even if I whispered.
“This is helping.” He continued walking. Was he just going to leave me?
I gasped when he turned the next corner without a backwards glance. The thought of being all alone was terrifying. “Rueben!” People walking along the streets looked curiously my way. “Rueben, wait!” I called even louder.
“I can hear you perfectly well even if you don’t scream.” His perfect, even tone came to my ears with perfect clarity, but I couldn’t see him anymore at all.
“Will you just…” I clenched my fists at my side.
“Will I what?” Suddenly, Rueben was behind me.
I flinched back in terror. “What are you doing?”
“Didn’t you want me to come back?” He raised one eyebrow mockingly.
“Are you going to help me?” My voice was pleading, almost whining.
“Marcus did ask me to help you.” He nodded thoughtfully. Somehow, Rueben had backed us both into an alley that I hadn’t even seen. I didn’t even realize we were moving until my back was pressed up against a brick wall. “And I do plan on helping you, Claudia,” his voice dropped to a pun.
“Okay.” I moistened my dry lips. The glint in his eyes was making me nervous.
I couldn’t help but flinch away from his hand when it came up to stroke my jaw. “I thought you were the most beautiful human I had ever seen,” he commented softly.
I gasped at him, nonplussed. “What are you…?” I pushed on his rock hard chest.
He inched closer to my face. “Rule one,” he whispered hotly, “never let anyone make you vulnerable. Always be aware.” He loped away with a light chuckle.
“I don’t think that was very funny.” I resisted the urge to cross my arms.
“Are you thirsty?”
“I told you that.” I impulsively ran my tongue across my throbbing teeth.
“How long has it been?” His eyes narrowed slightly.
“I left London…” my words trailed off.
“You haven’t fed since you left London.” His tone was scolding.
“How was I supposed to?” I fired back.
“Hunt!”
I blinked in surprise. “I…can’t hunt. Didn’t Marcus explain to you…?” I shook my head in confusion.
“Explain to me what? That he coddled you and allowed you to be weak?”
“I didn’t…want to be…” I tried weakly to defend Marcus against Rueben’s harsh judgments.
“You already are.” The finality of the words echoed in my head.
“I know that. He was just trying to make it easier for me.”
He made a sound of disgust, making me avert my eyes. “He chose you. You should take pride in that.”
“I…”
“You are weak.” He was in my face again. “If you want to eat, you will hunt.”
“Marcus always hunted for me,” I hated that my voice broke–again. Maybe I was just like Rueben said–weak.
“You are,” he growled.
“G…get away from me.”
“Fine.” He pushed himself forcefully away from the wall. Dust crumpled to the ground on either side of me.
“Who do you think you are, anyway?” I straightened my shirt and stood up straighter.
“Rueben.”
“Well, Reuben,” I jabbed my finger into his chest, “you don’t know anything about me.”
“Don’t I?” He tilted his head to the side.
“Just what Marcus told you. It’s not like we,” I drew a line in the air connecting the two of us, “are friends.”
“We’re more than friends, Claudia.” In one long stride, he closed the short distance between us. He pressed his lean body into my frail one until I could feel the indentations of my hips. “We’re family,” he said the words hotly against my neck.
Tears of outrage sprang unwelcome into my eyes. I hated Rueben. All I could think of was to get away from him. I would just have to find a way to survive on my own. I had been hunting before–I could do it.
The idea didn’t appeal to me, but I could do it if I had to. Besides, Marcus would be coming for me in a few days so maybe I wouldn’t have to worry about hunting. Certainly I could survive a few days without feeding.
My angry strides carried me further and further away from Rueben, who didn’t come after me. I didn’t know where exactly I was going; I couldn’t remember exactly where the apartment was.
I turned another corner and almost ran directly into a small group of men. There were only four of them, but they didn’t look friendly. Just as I was about to turn and go the other way, I recognized a small green car at the end of the alley.
I froze with indecision. I was sure that this was the right way now that I had seen that car. Maybe once I got to that car, I would recognize something else and be able to find the apartment.
The only problem was, those men were between me and that green car. I bit my lip and took a deep breath through my nose. It was time for me to get a little courage.
The men were having a heated discussion about some woman named Mary Jane and barely noticed me side stepping around them. I jogged the short distance to the car and was pleased that I could see my apartment from where I stood.
I made it to the door without running into anyone else. I slipped the key out of my pocket and unlocked the door. It was strange to me how comfortable the tiny apartment had become to me in such a short time.
I sat down heavily on the oversized white chair, grateful beyond words to be back in the dingy apartment. Behind the inner wall, a baby cried while its parents fought in the other room. Even when I pressed my hands over my ears, I still heard them.
I was more alone than I had ever been in my life. I could just barely remember a time when I didn’t have Marcus. The time I had lived as a human with Aunt Dora and Uncle Philip didn’t come to mind as often as it used to. I sometimes struggled to recall the kindness I always saw in my aunt’s grey eyes or the sound of Uncle Philip’s laughter.
Instead, I recalled the times Marcus and I shared. We had made our own memories, created a life together. Now, Silango was threatening to take all that away from me, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I didn’t even try to stop my tears from falling. No one was there to offer me any sort of comfort. The tears fell one after the other in a steady stream of self-pity.
Marcus shouldn’t have sent me to Rueben. He should have known that he wouldn’t help me. How could he have left me so helpless?
Chapter Thirty-Seven
I don’t know how long I sat there before I heard his footsteps outside the door. I knew that he would come sooner or later. My shoulders stiffened when
he stopped just outside the door and knocked loudly.
“I know you’re in there,” he called when I didn’t answer. “I can hear you breathing.”
I sucked in my breath and held it there. Marcus had taught me how to make my heart stop beating, just in case I was ever alone and someone came to the door.
“Don’t ever answer the door if I’m not here,” he warned.
“Who would come here?”
“I have many enemies.”
My eyes widened in fear. “Would they come here?”
“I’m not telling you to scare you, my love,” he said, gently caressing the place under my eyes. “I only want you to realize what dangers may be out there.”
I nodded my head solemnly. “Okay. I won’t open the door.”
“Claudia!” Rueben pounded on the door again.
Just go away!
“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.” I heard his breathing getting heavier. “If you don’t open this door, I’m breaking the handle,” he warned.
I made a low noise of irritation deep in my throat; I didn’t doubt for a second that he would do as he threatened. Then I wouldn’t have a door at all. I grumbled all the way to the door and flung it open. “Come on in,” I invited with dripping sarcasm.
“Don’t mind if I do.” He ducked under my arm.
I rolled my eyes and flung the door closed. “What do you want?”
“I want you to hunt.” He made a point of examining the entire apartment. “Have you always been this lousy of a housekeeper?” He kicked lightly at my discarded jeans from last night that were still on the floor.
“I didn’t realize I would be having company.” I picked the pants up and flung them in the general direction of the suitcase.
“My mother always said,” he began with wide eyes.
“You remember your mother?”
“A little.” He put one finger against his lips. “But you’re right; I don’t remember what she used to say.” He sat down with a great theatrical show. “I’m sure it must have had something to do with a clean house–or maybe it was clean underwear.”
“We stayed in a lot of hotels.”
“And they have housekeeping there.”
“Yeah.” I crossed my arms across my chest. I almost started tapping my foot against the floor, but I didn’t want him to comment on that, too.
