Ellyesce gave a gentlemanly bow, and he and Dervit headed for the exit. The elf tugged the other large door open, giving Jaax more room to enter. Only when the dragon was entirely in the large chamber did he pull both doors shut.
An uncomfortable silence ensued, but Jahrra refused to speak first. For one thing, she had no idea what to say. In the past few days, she had run the gamut of emotions: fear for her life and the lives of her friends, rage at Keiron for his betrayal, immediately followed by the heartbreak of knowing everything between them had been a lie. Then, absolute joy at learning Jaax had not perished in Cahrdyarein and the sting of his rebuke after her plunge from the bridge. Despite her night of sleep, she was exhausted, physically and mentally, and coming up with the right words at the moment was too much to ask.
Fortunately, her guardian didn’t seem to be suffering the same problem.
“Jahrra,” he said, his tone stern but not harsh, “I need to apologize to you.”
Startled, Jahrra shot him a staggered look.
Jaax drew in a tired breath, then let it out slowly before making his way across the massive room. He didn’t approach the couch where she sat, but rather, headed toward the raised part of the room open to the elements. When he reached the inner edge of the balcony, he turned to face her, then sat down.
“I am sorry for the way our conversation went yesterday,” he began.
“I know,” Jahrra cut in, casting aside her determination to remain silent. “I understand why you were angry. It was reckless of me to jump like that, and I’m sorry I frightened you, but I don’t regret my decision.”
A small grin tugged at the corner of the dragon’s mouth, and he lifted his eyes to meet hers. “Yes, it was a rather dire situation, wasn’t it? And you came up with a way to get out of it rather quickly. Although I was very angry yesterday, I am extremely proud of you for that.”
Jahrra ducked her head, feeling her cheeks warm. This wasn’t the first time Jaax had ever shown pride in her, but for some reason, she always had the same reaction.
“But that is not the only thing I want to apologize for,” he continued on when Jahrra didn’t make any move to speak. “What happened with the steward’s son, while we were in Cahrdyarein ...”
Jaax let his words trail off, as if unsure whether or not he should go on. Jahrra merely clenched her teeth and glanced away from him, turning so she faced the hearth. Anger, anguish and embarrassment threatened to wreak havoc on her heart, but she fought to keep those emotions under control. Yet, as much as she didn’t want to think about all that had happened in Cahrdyarein, burying it deep in her memory without addressing it was a worse idea. Fortunately for her, Jaax continued on as if sensing how difficult this was for her.
“I should have been there for you, Jahrra” he said, his tone sharper than it was mere seconds ago.
Jahrra gave up on staring at the fire and cast her ward a serious look.
“I should have spent less time playing the obsequious diplomat and more time making sure you were settling in. I had once again torn you away from your friends and thrown you onto the path of danger, after all.”
“Jaax,” Jahrra interrupted, her voice tight. She readjusted her position on the couch so she was facing him more directly. “You don’t need to apologize for Keiron. Yes, I wish you had told me about his treachery before we left for Nimbronia, but if you remember correctly, you tried warning me away from him earlier, and I didn’t much want to listen to your opinion on the matter.”
Jaax opened his mouth to speak, but Jahrra held up a hand, staving off whatever it was he meant to say. “You cannot protect me from everything. Some things, I must learn on my own, as painful or inconvenient as they may be.”
The Tanaan dragon tilted his head, his emerald eyes bright. “You are recovered, then, from his deception?” he asked quietly, his mood hard to decipher from his tone.
No, she wasn’t quite recovered. Since learning of Keiron’s ruse, a well of boiling anger had come slowly to life just below her heart. She wanted to let it expand and take over, to burn through her body and purge all the lingering pain and sadness Keiron had left behind, but a small voice in her head warned her against it.
Remember only that he is not what you thought he was, it cautioned. Do not let your anger for what he did to you harden your heart, or you will find yourself becoming that which you fear and despise the most.
The wooden bead bracelet wrapped around Jahrra’s wrist warmed, and she shot her eyes downward. The runes carved into the smooth surfaces of the beads glowed, each one a different color than its neighbor. Just as quickly as the heat rose, it dissipated, taking the brilliant glowing light, as well as the burning rage in her heart, with it. Jahrra arched her brows. Had it been her conscience warning her against this blossoming hatred, or the spirits of the Sacred Trees passing on their advice? She didn’t know, but heeded the warning anyway. They were wise words, even if she wasn’t in the mood to fully embrace them just yet.
“I am well, Jaax,” she finally said, a bit breathlessly. “However, I won’t lie to you and tell you I am fully recovered. What Keiron did cut deep, and it still hurts, but I am ready to move past it.” Jahrra gave a small smile and looked at her guardian. “As long as I still have friends I can rely on, then I will survive the blows of those who wish me ill. But I still wonder about something,” she added tentatively.
The dragon nodded. “Go on.”
Jahrra turned sorrow-filled eyes onto him. “How long did you know, for certain, that Keiron planned treachery?”
Her guardian winced ever so slightly, and Jahrra felt her heart leap up into her throat.
Begrudgingly, Jaax answered, “The night you fled Cahrdyarein. Dervit left your cabin for some fresh air and noticed a figure in a cloak sneaking through the woods. On a whim, he followed this person and discovered Keiron meeting up with the soldiers of the Red Flange in a tavern room. He remained to spy on them. We kept it a secret because we didn’t want to upset you.”
Jaax glanced up and smiled ruefully, adding, “If not for your friend’s intuition, we might all be dead.”
Jahrra shivered and fought back another surge of emotion. This news did nothing to ease her feelings, but she was glad Jaax and the others hadn’t told her until now. She might have refused to believe it at the time.
The dragon stood then and moved smoothly across the room, coming to stand just above Jahrra. Every muscle in his body was drawn tight, and the heat radiating off him put her cheerful hearth fire to shame. Jahrra immediately recognized that warmth as barely withheld anger and aggression. But she was not afraid, for she knew it wasn’t aimed at her.
When Jaax drew breath to speak, it was accompanied by a snarl. “If I ever find that vile scrap of vermin, I will roast him alive.”
Jahrra stood, wobbling a little on her still-injured leg, and crossed her arms. She cast Jaax a stony look and proclaimed, “You will do no such thing. I get to be the one to bring about his undoing. You can barbecue him after I run him through with my sword.”
Jaax’s tension suddenly fled, and his scaly brows shot up in surprise. Then he laughed, giving Jahrra no choice but to join him. Finally, the film of ice which seemed to coat everything in the room melted away.
Eventually, Jaax managed to gain control of his composure.
“Well,” he said, his tone sobered, “I am glad I dropped by. We have not been on the best of terms lately, and I’ve been eager to make amends. Contrary to what you might believe, I do not like it when you are angry with me.”
Jahrra blinked at him, not expecting such a statement from her broody guardian. Jaax was a proud dragon, strong and fearless. He walked about the earth as if he were born a king, balking before no one and stirring fear and respect in those who challenged him. To have him admit he cared what she felt and thought about him meant a lot to her.
Jahrra had no idea what prompted her to say what she did next. Maybe it was the lingering hint of guilt in her heart, urging her to make an
other confession, or perhaps it was the influence of that inner voice which had spoken to her only moments before. Either way, she took a breath and blurted, “Do you know why I hated you so much when I was younger?”
The unchecked astonishment on the Tanaan dragon’s face matched the way she felt. What on Ethoes had possessed her to bring up such an old grievance?
“No,” the dragon answered carefully, his voice flat, “I do not.”
Jahrra took a steadying breath, realizing she could not make such a declaration without following through.
“I blamed you for the deaths of my parents,” she said reluctantly, looking up at Jaax as the old memories tore through her mind, bringing long-healed sorrows to the surface. “I had convinced myself you were to blame. I had built you up in my mind as a hero, and you let me down. You failed me.”
For a very long time, Jaax made no reply, and Jahrra began to wonder if she had just completely destroyed their newly mended relationship. Wonderful. Her guardian had made the effort to seek her out and apologize for his standoffish demeanor of late, to see if she was recovering from Keiron’s betrayal, and she had ripped the flag of truce from him and burned it on a pyre.
Finally, the Tanaan dragon spoke, his calm voice grating against her nerves. “But, I did fail you, Jahrra.”
Jahrra shook her head. “No. You didn’t. You did more than anyone else could. I should have seen that. My parents were just not strong enough. But, I was so fixated on the idea that you didn’t get there on time to notice the obvious.”
She took a shaking breath and turned her eyes onto the dragon once more. He was watching her carefully, the light in his eyes darker, more serious. But, to her relief, not angry.
“Nothing could have saved them,” Jahrra said, almost more to herself than to Jaax. She had known this for so long, but that knowledge felt different now. “Or Hroombra,” she added, her voice catching a little. She’d mourned her parents, and she’d mourned Hroombra, her old Korli guardian. Yet, every now and then, the memories welled back up, as fresh and devastating as the day they happened.
“You were only a child, Jahrra,” Jaax murmured. “And Hroombra left us not too long ago.”
“Yes, I know,” Jahrra rasped.
Somehow, a conversation Jaax had initiated to fill the small void between them had led to this, a revisit to the past with all its painful memories. But that was just it. Although she was a grown woman now, able to take care of herself, she still needed what she had lost so long ago.
Jahrra drew in a long, shuddering breath and continued, “Sometimes, I feel just like her, my eight year old self. Afraid and alone. But, I can’t afford to be that way now. I have to be strong for those who are counting on me to make this world right again. I have to be brave for the friends I left behind in Oescienne and Lidien.”
“Jahrra,” Jaax said, his voice strong with conviction, “you are not alone, and you never will be. I promise you that. And, you have every right to be afraid. I fear what we have to face as well.”
Jahrra dried her eyes with her sleeve and gave him a disbelieving look. “You? Afraid?”
Jaax nodded. “I am.”
“Of what?”
“I can only imagine I fear the same things you do. Death, enslavement, pain, loss. Just because I breathe fire and have scales, and just because I display an overly confident countenance, does not mean my heart doesn’t grieve just as fiercely as yours or anybody else’s.”
Jaax gave her one of his arrogant smiles, and Jahrra suddenly felt better. The ache in her heart lessened, and she sniffled away her tears, feeling more than a bit chagrined. Honestly, losing control of her emotions in front of Jaax of all people. But, when she glanced back up at him, his smile still in place, she could tell by the look in his eyes that he meant what he’d said.
You are not alone, Jahrra, her inner voice said. You have Jaax, and he has you. Together, you will overcome your fears and find the courage you need to face what is to come.
“Now,” Jaax said after some time, “enough with reflecting on the past and dwelling on dismal thoughts. A change of subject is in order, don’t you agree?”
“Yes,” Jahrra breathed, still feeling a little embarrassed at losing control of her emotions.
Jaax gave a curt nod and continued. “I visited King Dhuruhn last night, the all-powerful sovereign of not only Nimbronia, but the entirety of Felldreim. He wishes to meet you this evening, at a semi-formal dinner with all the nobles and those important people visiting from afar.”
Jaax made a face, and what remained of the morose mood hanging in the air vanished.
Jahrra sucked in a harsh breath, her eyes growing wide. “Tonight? Wait, what did you talk about? Is he going to lend us aid in our fight against the Crimson King?”
“No,” Jaax replied. “I merely reported to him what occurred on the bridge and what happened in Cahrdyarein. I’m assuming, based on my past experiences with him, he will not make a judgment until he has met you.”
Jaax curled his lip at this, and Jahrra couldn’t blame him. She knew her guardian had been meeting with the Creecemind king for years, trying to convince him she was the human child they had all been waiting for. The king of Felldreim, however, remained a steadfast skeptic.
“I hope I’m convincing,” Jahrra said with a shrug. “According to Dathian, we need all the help we can get, and an army of giant, frost-breathing dragons would definitely be a boon.”
Jaax shot Jahrra a puzzled look. “When did you speak with Dathian?”
Jahrra slapped a hand to her forehead. “Oh, I forgot! The maid brought me some letters this morning. They’re all from friends back in Lidien, but the one from Dathian mentioned something about Kehllor leaving the Coalition to request support from the Nephaari in the east.”
She turned to the table beside the couch and picked up the neatly stacked papers, holding them out to Jaax.
“He also mentioned something about Shiroxx being up to her old tricks.”
Jaax only nodded at Jahrra. “Ah yes, the letters. Sapheramin told me the very same information last night. It was she and Tollorias who brought the letters back from Lidien. It seems they paid the City of Light a visit shortly after we left and spoke with Dathian at length.”
Jahrra furrowed her brow and let the arm holding the letters drop to her side. “Saria, the maid, said the letters had been brought by Sapheramin. Who is she?”
Jaax smiled warmly. “She and Tollorias are the two Korli dragons who accompanied me to the bridge yesterday. They are diplomats based here in Felldreim and active members of the Nimbronian branch of the Coalition. Sapheramin is also Hroombra’s niece.”
Jahrra’s mouth dropped open.
“Really?” she squeaked.
“Yes, really. And you will be meeting her formally at the dinner tonight. In fact, I will request that you have a place next to her.”
This time, Jahrra’s smile reached her eyes, and her tears from earlier threatened to return. Jaax didn’t seem to notice.
“Dinner, however, is still several hours away, so I propose we find something to occupy our time until then,” he continued, his gaze turning toward the view of endless mountain ranges framed by the great opening in the east facing wall.
Jaax crossed the room, stepping up onto the raised balcony floor, then returned his attention to his ward.
“Come here, Jahrra,” he said, a mischievous glint to his silvery-green eyes.
Jahrra remained where she was, eyeing him suspiciously. “Why?”
The dragon cocked his head to the side. “I’m taking you flying.”
She jerked her head up and gave him a hard look. “Why on Ethoes do you want to take me flying?”
Jaax rolled his eyes and let out a short breath, then flared his wings to their full extent. It was an impressive gesture, and had Jahrra not been used to being around dragons her entire life, she may have admitted the image he sketched against the snow-capped vista was nothing short of awe-inspiring.
“Because,” the dragon answered with all the patience in the world, “we could both use the fresh air and a bit of frivolity after what we’ve been through over the past several days. And, I’d like to give you an aerial tour of the city. Nothing in all of Ethoes compares to Nimbronia.”
“I’ve already seen the city,” Jahrra pointed out. “I got a good look at it when we flew in yesterday.”
“That flight didn’t even begin to do it justice. Come now. Why do you keep arguing with me? Are you afraid?”
Jahrra shot him a poisonous glare, then stood up, putting most of her weight on her good leg. Her knee was still stiff and ached if she tried to use it, and the deep laceration on her calf was only partially healed, but she was more determined than ever to prove she had enough courage to tackle any challenge cast her way.
“Fine,” she gritted, hobbling her way across the room. Before stepping up onto the raised terrace, she grabbed her wool-lined jacket from the back of a chair. The maid or Ellyesce must have set it there for her.
“What’s that?” she asked as she slipped on her jacket, nodding her head toward a series of leather belts strapped around Jaax’s torso. She hadn’t noticed them before, probably because she had been too far away to do so earlier.
“A harness designed specifically for dragons. Usually, we use them to attach items to be transported from one place to another. Medical supplies for isolated populations, food rations for stranded armies, personal affects for when we are traveling. Those sorts of things.”
“But today you’re wearing it so I don’t fall off your back, right?” Jahrra asked, grabbing one of the straps and pulling herself up behind Jaax’s neck, wincing a little at the twinge in her knee.
“Exactly. It even has an extra belt to keep you in place in case you lose your grip.”
It was Jahrra’s turn to roll her eyes. “I think I can manage.”
Jaax turned and gave her a stern look. Jahrra swallowed back a rush of sudden nerves. It was much harder to keep her composure when his head was level with hers.
“Strap the belt around your waist and secure it, Jahrra. You have a sprained knee and a bad cut that still need healing.”
The Ascending Page 41
