By the time he got back to the house, his stomach was doing a nasty little jig, his heart thumping wildly inside of his chest. This was his house, damn it, and he was almost afraid to step inside. He was afraid of finding out what Virginia had planned, especially because he didn’t know what he wanted it to be.
“Jonah? Is that you?” she called from the back bedroom. He felt himself growing immediately hard at the thought of what that might mean. Whether it was a good idea for them to jump into the sack one last time or not, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to say no.
“The one and only, sugar,” he called back, his voice catching a little on the end.
“Great, I’m back here.”
He followed the sound of her voice and then stopped abruptly. He was so surprised by the state in which he found her that he might have just stood there that way, stupid and mute, for hours if she hadn’t glanced up and smiled at him. He cleared his throat, tried to give her a smile in return, and summarily failed.
“You’re packing,” he said because it was all he could think of to say.
“I am,” she agreed, and with precious little feeling, as if it didn’t matter to her at all. “Like you said, the studs are here. That means our time together is almost up.”
“Yeah, I know. I guess I just didn’t expect this tonight.”
"Because of what I said earlier," she answered, frowning a little and sitting on the edge of the bed, "I'm sorry. Here, come sit next to me. I didn't mean to mislead you."
“Nope, nothing to be sorry for,” he said, joining her willingly enough. He wondered how many apologies the two of them had offered each other since this whole crazy plan’s inception. Whatever the number was, it was too high for comfort.
“I want to talk to you,” she started in, staring down at his hands instead of looking him in the eye, “and before I start, I want you to know something.”
“Okay…”
“Whatever you want to do, it’s okay. I don’t expect anything from you. Not anything at all.”
“Okay,” he said again, the hairs on the back of his neck prickling.
“I’m pregnant. It wasn’t on purpose, I can assure you of that, but I am. By my estimation, I should be about eight weeks. I’ll know for sure once I go to the doctor and get a blood test done.”
“Jesus,” he said softly, digging his fingernails into his palms to keep himself lucid. “How long have you known?”
“I haven’t been keeping it from you,” she answered quickly, “I don’t want you to think that. I’ve only known for a few days. I just wanted to wait to tell you until I had my ducks in a row.”
“Your ducks?”
“Well, yes, my ducks. It’s part of why I hired those assistants. To help me grow the business, sure, but also to help me keep things running once the baby comes. They’re helping me find a place, too, so that I can move out soon, and also helping me draw up the papers.”
"Papers?" he parroted again. Why did he sound so stupid? Why could he say nothing except the words she had already said? He needed to say something, to do something before this conversation completely ran away from him. Instead, he said nothing at all, just looked at her and waited.
"Divorce papers. I don't think there's any point in drawing things out, do you? It'll only make things more difficult for both of us, and there's no reason for that. Not in a situation like ours."
“Sure, I guess not.”
“Good. Then it’s settled. And about the baby, I’m serious when I tell you that I don’t have any expectations. You take some time and think about things. Once it comes, you can have as much or as little involvement as you want. I don’t think you owe me anything.”
"Good to know," he managed to choke out, his voice hoarse and sickly.
“Good,” she agreed, “I’m glad everything is ending on a good note. And thank you, Jonah. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”
She hugged him gently, with none of the zeal and exhilaration from past embraces. While he was still busy trying to compute everything she had just said, she broke the hug off and stood, wiping her hands on her pants in a business-like fashion that made it clear she was ready for him to go.
“I guess I’ll let you get back to packing, Virginia.”
"Okay, sounds good. And you'll be okay for dinner? I think there might be some leftovers in the fridge, but I'm not sure."
“I’ll be just fine. You need any help? With the packing, I mean?”
“Nope! Got it all covered. Like you said, right? Both of us doing things independently.”
“Right,” he said absent-mindedly, “that’s absolutely right.”
16
“Son of a bitch, bro! You actually did it! I can’t believe you pulled this off! Honest to God, I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Yeah? Well, turns out I did. They’re beauts, aren’t they? They really are beauts.”
And they were. Ian nodded appreciatively and joined Jonah by the fence outside of Jonah's most recently updated barn. The two of them stood leaning up against it and watching the two studs silently for a while. There was a special kind of magic, watching animals like these. Truth be told, Jonah had never seen animals so magnificent. All of a sudden, he was filled with a certain kind of empathy for their former owner. He could see why it had been so difficult to commit to the sale. When you were in possession of animals as fine as these two creatures, Jonah imagined it would be almost impossible to give them up.
It made sense to want them housed in the best, prettiest place possible. Jonah would have wanted that, too. He was filled with a renewed gratitude for Virginia and how masterfully she handled the precarious situation when he’d almost lost the sale. If it wasn’t for her, he would not be watching these horses now and knowing that they belonged to him. If it wasn’t for her, a whole lot of things would be different.
"Never seen anything like ‘em," Jonah said quietly as the two studs pranced and batted their hooves against the earth as if they somehow inherently knew that they were surrounded by new admirers.
“Nope, neither have I. Really something, little brother.”
"They are, aren't they?" Jonah said, finally beginning to allow himself to appreciate his coup fully. Virginia wasn't here to see them delivered, and it had been bothering him all morning, so much that he hadn't been able to enjoy their arrival fully. Now that Ian was here and so complimentary, he could let go of the weird tension working through him a little. Ian was family. If there was anyone he should be celebrating his victory with, it was family. When he looked at his older brother, though, he saw something in his face that made him stop short. Ian was happy, all right, but Jonah got the feeling it was about something more than the new studs.
“Okay, Ian, spill. What the hell’s with you?”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ian said casually, his corresponding grin giving away the lie.
“You sure as shit do,” Jonah pressed, “and I want to know what it is. Something happening? Everything all right with Katie? And Andy? How’s my nephew?”
“It is. It’s more than all right, actually. She’s pregnant, Jonah. My girl is pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”
Jonah’s ears filled with the sound of rushing blood and it was hard not to feel like Ian had punched him square in the stomach instead of delivering good news. Ian put a hand on his shoulder, the expression on his face immediately going from pleased as punch to full-on concerned.
“What’s the matter, Jonah? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Nothing. It’s nothing. That’s...that’s fantastic news.”
"It is, but bullshit to your nothing. Something's the matter, and if you don't tell me what it is, I might have to go and find Virginia to ask her. Something tells me she'll tell me, even if you won't."
“No!” Jonah shouted, loudly enough that the horses both stopped what they were doing. “Don’t. Don’t go find Virginia. Please don’t do that.”
“Okay, I w
on’t, but only if you cut the shit. What’s going on with you, brother?”
“Well, it’s the damnedest thing, but Virginia’s pregnant, too,” he finally answered, not sure he would be able to say it until the words were out of his mouth. But something happened once the words were out there in the universe for anyone and everyone to hear. When he told Ian what was happening, the pregnancy finally became real. Not just Virginia’s baby, but his own. He was going to have a child.
“What? But that’s amazing! Hot damn, Jonah, we’ve got a hell of a lot to celebrate!”
“Hold on, Ian, not so fast. There’s more.”
Jonah told Ian of his and Virginia's impending divorce in that same halting voice he'd used to deliver the news of the baby. He watched as Ian's joyful expression changed to one of disbelief and then when the story was done, something that looked a hell of a lot like anger.
“You’re kidding me, right? Please tell me this is a joke.”
“Nope, no joke. We’re through,” Jonah answered, trying to ignore the rising lump in his throat. He had no right to be emotional, after all. This had been the plan all along.
"Do you want to know what I think?" Ian asked slowly as if he was feeling the thing out even while he spoke.
“Honestly?” Jonah said with a hard little laugh, “I’m not sure that I do. Something tells me you’re going to tell me anyway, though.”
“You’re right, I am. Because I think you’re a damn fool.”
“Thanks, Ian, glad to know I’ve got your support.”
“You don’t,” Ian said indignantly, “and you won’t. If you really think you're better off on your own, better off without her, a fool is the best thing I can think of to call you. You’ve turned into a whole new person since she’s come into your life. You’ve been coming out of your shell so that I hardly even recognize you, and I mean that in the best possible way.”
“Ian—” Jonah said wearily.
"No, I'm going to say my piece. For the first time since we were kids, your life is full. It's going in a hundred different directions instead of just one, and if you ask me, I think that's a damned good thing. You can stick to your guns about living your life alone, but you need to remember one thing."
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Jonah asked, not sure he wanted to know.
"You live your life alone, and that's all you get. To be alone. You'll live alone, and you'll die alone, and if you ask me, that doesn't sound like much of a life."
17
Jonah was amazed how variable time could be. It was something he never had cause to notice before now. It had been a week. A week since Virginia had packed her things into that stupid SUV and driven away to some new home located God knows where. A week with her still in the house could go by in the blink of an eye, leaving him dazed and wondering where the hell the time had gone. That same amount of time without her there, however, seemed like it would stretch on forever and ever until it finally drove him insane.
"No thanks to you, brother," he muttered to himself under his breath, his mind going back to his conversation with Ian for the umpteenth time. He could add that little chat to the growing list of things he couldn't get out of his head, no matter how badly he might want to do so. His immediate reaction had been to tell Ian to fuck off, which he would have done without a second thought if some part of him hadn't known his brother was right. Put as straightforwardly as Ian had done, it was impossible not to see where Jonah's current trajectory would lead him. No man was an island and all of that. What it boiled down to was that he was doing such a good job of being on his own that he might not be able to turn the tides if and when he decided that he actually wanted to spend his life with someone else.
Except that it was too late. He’d made it painfully clear that he didn’t want Virginia to stick around. He’d made it clear without even bothering to see where she might land on the topic. What she wanted had hardly registered to him. He had been all self-preservation and stupidity, right up until the minute when he realized he might have made a serious mistake. Sure, he had gone along with the marriage and the attached business proposition, but that wasn’t what she had really wanted, at least not in the end. He hadn’t been able to see the forest for the trees, and now he was kicking himself.
"Stop it, asshole," he grunted to himself, grabbing a beer to go with his morning paper. It wasn't exactly the breakfast of champions, but he wasn't feeling much like one of those these days. Besides, there was nobody around to chastise him for the frat boy move, not anymore. He had seen to that handily. He opened the paper, ready to find anything to help distract him from the things he couldn't get out of his head. Instead, what he found made him want to throw up the small amount of beer he had already ingested.
“Aw, Christ. You’ve got to be kidding me.”
It must have been a slow week for news, because there she was—Virginia’s beautiful face grinning out at him from the paper's front page. Vaguely, he could remember her telling him something about this. Somebody from the local paper had expressed an interest in interviewing her about the steadily-growing wedding business, as well as her sometimes unique and unusual decorating ideas. But that had been before things started to go downhill between the two of them, back when they had still been content to play house without thinking of the possible repercussions.
He wanted to get rid of it, to ball the paper up in his fist and hurl it across the room. He didn't care if it made it into the garbage or not, just so long as it wasn't staring him in the face. Every time he started to flex his hand to do it, though, Virginia's smiling eyes caught, and he felt all of the strength in his muscles leave him.
“Don’t do it, man,” he whispered to himself, “just don’t. Won’t get you anything good.”
He started to read. It wasn’t a bad article, although it wasn’t much more than a puff piece, one of those standard things glorifying the independent business owner and her newfound success. It was exactly the kind of thing he would have skipped without thinking twice if it wasn’t for Virginia. At the moment, though, he thought he would probably read a cereal box if it was displaying her face.
“While Virginia Grant, a newlywed herself, is the one at the helm of this burgeoning business, it must be noted that she gives an enormous amount of credit to her horse trainer husband as well. A quiet man, she says, a man who is more comfortable behind the scenes than in the spotlight, he often lends both his hands and his keen mind to helping her grow her business and achieve her dreams. Most notably, she tells the tale of how it was her husband, Jonah Grant, who came up with the brilliantly macabre idea of the zombie photo booth background. With a beautiful, savvy woman at the head and a dark horse genius behind the scenes, this writer can only speculate as to the great heights this hot new business will reach.”
Jonah stared at the words until they doubled, then tripled. When he could look at them no more, his eyes drifted down to the picture. It was made grainy by the quality of the new spring, but he knew the picture anyhow. It was of the two of them at the first wedding they had put on, standing in front of their now highly publicized backdrop with big, stupid grins on their faces. One of his arms was slung companionably around her shoulders while she leaned into him, her hand slipping underneath the edge of his shirt. Their eyes were shining, and it didn't take a genius to see that they were happy. Whatever they were now, they had been happy back then.
"This has got to be old," he said, doing his best to pull himself out of the funk steadily falling over him. The article being old would make sense. If she'd given the interview a month ago, there would be nothing for him to do but call himself a moron for getting his hopes up and go about his day. He was almost afraid to look at the date, afraid that he wouldn't be able to handle the truth either way it went.
“I’ll be damned,” he whispered to himself, almost dropping the beer.
It was today's paper, which meant that she had given the interview after she'd packed her things into her car and left. Come to think of it;
he knew the pictures from that wedding hadn't come back until the day before his studs had arrived. There was no way around the truth. She had issued this glowing interview, this glowing appraisal of him, even after he had made it clear that he fully intended to go through with their divorce.
All at once, everything Ian had said about the stupidity of his actions came crashing down on him. Jonah folded the paper carefully, set the beer down, and put his head on his folded arms. Stupid was right. Never in his life had he been such a fool as he’d been while handling his relationship with Virginia. He had been so intent on sticking to his guns about maintaining his solitary existence that he’d never thought for a second that it might not be what he wanted anymore.
Now, he knew for sure. Everything he wanted in his life was right there, right there in Virginia’s words in the paper. In her words was life. Real life, not the half-assed approximation he'd been trying to preserve. It was messy and complicated, full of happiness and shared success. All this time he had been fighting to keep his isolation while he should have been fighting for Virginia, to keep her close. For all he knew, it was too late now. He had done plenty of damage, and it might be too much for him to make up for.
If there was one thing Jonah wasn't, though, it was a quitter, and now that he understood what he truly wanted there was nothing in the world that was going to get in his way.
18
“Okay,” Virginia whispered to herself, “you can do this. You can, and you will.”
She sat in the dark in the front seat of her car, her hands clamped down tightly on the steering wheel revealing that despite the pep talk, she was seriously considering making a break for it at any moment.
The Cowboy’s Contract Marriage: Grant Brothers Series Book Two Page 10
