“You’re also relaxed and guiding us around whatever that is.”
“Used deccarite,” she said. “It’s a very heavy and very expensive fuel you usually only see on starliners. It costs a hell of a lot more than any grade of petrik. It costs a mint to dispose of, too. And it tends to solidify, as you can see.” She gestured to the viewport. A chunk of the fuel sheared off and drifted away. Brya cut a wide berth around it and increased her ship’s speed to get away. Already a pair of shuttles bearing the Alliance Fleet insignia was flying to the debris to collect samples and figure out where it came from.
The space junk behind them, Brya reset the course along the lane and the ship’s systems back to night. The lights dimmed in an imitation of night on a planet, the settings Brya preferred. Light panels inset near the floor gave off a warm, familiar glow as she and Kai returned to the living area. “Do you want some tea?” she asked. “It’s proper tea, not replicated.” She opened a cupboard and removed a tin of loose leaves, then boiled water at the replicator. She doubted she’d be getting back to sleep right away—she might as well enjoy a nice cup.
“Please,” said Kai, and he sat down at the table.
Brya felt him watching her as she prepared the tea in a small china pot, part of an antique set she had found at a market on Prime and one of her most cherished possessions. Finally, she set the teapot and a pair of matching cups and saucers on the table and poured cups for both of them. “I don’t have any milk,” she said. “I think I have some honey somewhere though, if you want it.”
He shook his head. “No, thank you.”
They sat at the small table, knees touching. There was a comfortable silence surrounding them, and Brya felt a sense of peace for the first time in years. Right now it was easy to pretend there wasn’t an angry pirate after her, the Fleet wasn’t waiting to throw her in jail if she didn’t cooperate with his takedown, and she didn’t have worries about how she was going to make a living when this whole episode was over. Kai wasn’t going to walk out of her life in a week’s time. She ached at the thought, and her mood darkened. She sipped her tea thoughtfully.
She wished she could do everything over again. It wasn’t the first time she had ruminated on the series of mistakes her life was, but it was the first time she wished Kai had been a part of her starting over in the Alliance. She should have given themselves a chance when they still could.
Kai broke the silence. “What are you thinking about?”
She smiled over the rim of her cup. “You can’t tell?”
He shook his head.
“Nothing,” she lied. “You?”
“Me neither.”
She wanted to know what it would feel like to have his hands, his mouth on her body, and again her thought drifted back to the night she woke him up with her dreaming. She barely suppressed a shiver.
Kai shifted in his seat. Had he picked that up? She tried to think about kittens, the flowers at their house on Ra’lani, her busted hyperdrive engine, anything but what it felt like to fool around with him in her galley.
Fool around. She stifled a giggle at the terminology.
He caught her eye and lifted a brow. Maybe he had picked that up.
She found herself wanting him to. Brya knew he wanted her and he had admitted as much in the cockpit before. Space travel meant there was a lot of time twiddling thumbs, and the gods knew they could be put to better use. She felt her face grow hot, and she smiled.
“What is it?” he asked.
She shook her head, unable to shake her expression.
Kai set down his cup. “You’re really bad at hiding things,” he said.
“I gathered that the other night.”
“Are you talking about my nightmare or what happened after?”
His next words were a little strangled. “You know damn well what I’m talking about, and this is just as difficult for me.”
Brya stood up and collected the empty teacups and saucers. She silently rinsed them out and put them away, trying to form a response. The tension in the air was palpable, and she felt a little heady. Finally she said, “Well, what do you want to do about it?”
He was frozen in his chair, staring up at her with a feral look in his eyes. Her breath hitched. He looked downright dangerous, like an animal about to pounce.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know,” he said. His voice was level, but she could pick up an undercurrent of frustration and lust.
“I want to hear it from you.” Where had that teasing, sultry voice come from? It belonged to a woman in an evening dress and heels, not a barefoot freighter operator in pajamas.
He slowly rose from his seat, his eyes never leaving hers. In the galley’s dim light she could see his pupils were dilated, and her heart began to pound so hard she was sure he could hear it.
“I want what I always have.” He crossed the short distance between them in a few silent, stealthy steps. Brya backed against the counter, a little apprehensive at the intensity in his face. “Since we were married, since I saw you again, and all the time we spent apart. I want you.”
He was so close to her she could see his pulse beating in his throat. When he lowered his head to her ear, she expected he would kiss her, but he didn’t. Instead he murmured, “If I start anything with you, I’m not letting you go again. You’ll be stuck with me this time. Are you sure you want that?”
His words and his breath in her ear sent Brya’s senses into overdrive. She reached out and curled her arms around his neck, bringing him closer. Still, she was coherent enough to form an honest reply, to not completely ignore the tiny voice of reason in her mind. “Kai, please don’t ask me for that yet.” His body stiffened against hers, and she knew it wasn’t from desire. “I want you, and I want this. But I don’t know how much more I can give you right now.”
His hold on her loosened enough so he could step back. He wore a serious expression. “What do you mean?”
“It means I like you and care about you and we could be totally wrong for each other, but every god of every faith knows I want you.” She took a step toward him. “I want you to do to me what you said you wanted to the other night.”
“I don’t think we’re wrong for each other.” He moved for her again, but instead of continuing where they had left off seconds before, he collected her in his arms. Her head rested against his shoulder, and she felt his next words rumble though her. “I looked for you for years. I had to know you were all right.”
“I was,” she said. Technically, it was true.
“No, you weren’t. I wish I could have done something to help you.”
She framed his head in her hands and kissed him. He responded eagerly, his tongue teasing her lips apart. She let the kiss go on for a moment before she broke away reluctantly. “It’s okay now,” she said softly. “We’re both here now, and we’re both alive.”
Gods, was she ever aware that both of them were alive. His arousal pressed into her hip, and his hands slid over her body, as though he were memorizing it. Her breath caught when his hands slipped under the hem of her shirt and he skimmed his fingers over the slightly raised flesh where she had been tattooed, callused fingertips whispering over her skin. His touch woke up something inside her that had been long dormant, and she wanted more.
But not in the galley. The memory of what nearly happened the last time they were here in the middle of the night intruded on her mind, and she broke away long enough to grasp his hand and say, “My cabin. Now.”
She led him the short distance to her cabin, anticipation thrumming through her veins. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt like this, if ever. She couldn’t suppress a small cry from escaping her when he pressed her against her cabin wall, lips fastened over hers. His hands gripped her hips, pulling her closer to him, the sensation was so intense it sucked the breath from her.
She broke the kiss and murmured against his lips, “Bed.”
He pulled away from her, a sly smile blooming across his face.
“What, you don’t want to get fucked against a wall?” His hands slid down her hips to her thighs and he hoisted her up so her legs wrapped around his waist.
She squeaked, but didn’t resist. “Actually, that sounds hot.”
Even though her body was screaming at her to let him have his way with her, she didn’t protest when he carried her, body still wrapped around his, to her unmade bed. He set her down gently, an uncharacteristic tenderness despite his crude question. “Next time,” he said. Promise laced his voice, and a shiver coursed through Brya’s body at his words.
She leaned back against the pillows, levering herself up on her elbows. “But I’m thinking about this time, Kai.”
He replied with a kiss, nipping at her lower lip with his teeth. Another flare of passion sparked through her, and her hands fisted his well-worn t-shirt, tugging at it, desperate to feel his skin against hers. He helped her with it, shucking it off and tossing it somewhere on the floor, and Brya was able to look her fill for the first time.
All the gods everyone in the universe believed in, Kai was magnificent. His skin nearly glowed in the cabin’s dim light, his eyes glazed over with lust, and she knew hers must look the same. She reached out and caressed his stomach, his body trembling at her touch. Her hands traveled lower, over his loose sleep pants and brushing against the hard length of his cock. His breath hitched and he pushed against her hand, silently urging her on.
Brya wrapped her hand around him, stroking his erection through the fabric. But after a moment, Kai placed his hand over hers, stilling her. “If you keep doing that, it’ll be over before it starts.” This time, it was his turn to pluck at her ratty pajama top. “Take this off.”
“You don’t find my choice of lingerie alluring?”
“No, seeing you naked is alluring. Take it off.”
She bit back a smile and pulled her top over her head. A groan of appreciation rose in Kai’s throat at the sight of her. His fingertips traced the outline of her collarbones, the feather-light touch sending a frisson of heat through her. They drifted across her skin, over the tips of sensitized breasts, down to her navel. “What are you doing?” she whispered.
“Memorizing you.”
Maybe Kai understood now how uncertain she felt about their future, or the lack of it. It was an ugly, sobering thought, and Brya pushed it away.
They had tonight, and that would have to be enough for now.
She locked her hands around his neck and brought his face to hers for a kiss. Her hips rose up of their own accord to meet his, his body thrusting against hers in a poor imitation of what both of them wanted. His lips traveled down her jaw and neck, until they caught one stiffened nipple in his mouth. Brya whimpered, wanting more.
Her response ignited something in him, because he became more frantic, tugging her pajama pants down her legs. Before she could help him with his, he was already stripping them off, and he sat up, legs tucked under him, resting on his heels.
She already missed the press of his warm skin against hers. “What is it?”
There was an appreciative gleam in his eyes as he raked her from head to toe. Every scar, every tattoo. “Nothing. Everything’s perfect.”
If it was possible to blush all over, Brya thought she was doing that right now.
“I think I can feel you in my head right now,” he said. “It’s intense. That’s never happened before.”
Brya couldn’t claim likewise. Instead, she ran her hands over his bare skin: his muscled thighs, taut stomach, deliberately avoiding his cock. The Fleet kept their personnel in good shape.
She took his hands, pulling him toward her until he moved from his sitting position and his body settled over hers. “I don’t want any more foreplay,” she whispered.
“Next time?” His erection pressed heavily against her hip. He shifted and she parted her legs, letting him settle between them.
“I thought you were going to fuck me against a wall next time.”
“Okay, that can be the third time.”
And if there isn’t a second or third time? That doubt reared its head again, and she closed her eyes, willing it away.
“Brya?” Kai’s voice was a little wary. “Everything all right?”
She swallowed and laced her fingers through Kai’s. “Yes,” she said. “I want this night with you.”
She could tell by the lift of his eyebrow that her meaning wasn’t lost on him, but he didn’t move away. Instead, he lightly bit at the delicate skin on her neck. “I’ll try my best not to disappoint you.”
His cock probed at her entrance, eliciting a gasp from her. “I don’t think you could.”
He pushed further, far too slowly for Brya’s liking. “Kai,” she said, her voice a strangled whisper. “I need more than that.”
Beads of sweat popped up along Kai’s brow, but he wordlessly complied until he was fully seated within her.
Oh, gods. This could very well be the best feeling in the galaxy, if not the universe, and it finally hit Brya how much she needed this, needed Kai.
Needing him, or anyone else, scared her, but she wouldn’t let that fear spoil her night with him.
She lifted her hips, urging him on, until he took mercy on her and started to move. Like he could read her mind—and by this point, maybe Kai could—he knew exactly what rhythm she wanted, how fast or hard she wanted him to go, and she enjoyed every second of it.
It was as if they were made for each other.
Her nails scored his shoulders, heels digging into his lower back, as he thrust into her. She could already feel her climax building—when was the last time that happened?—and she welcomed it, her body already stiffening and clenching around his.
“Brya?” Kai’s voice was ragged in her ear. “Tell me what you want.”
She tried and failed to form a coherent reply, and instead pulled his face to hers for a fierce kiss.
He took that as a good sign, and his intensity increased until she came with a harsh cry against his mouth. Mercifully, he didn’t stop, but continued his pace until she felt his muscles bunch up under her hands, could feel the tension in his spine. “Oh, gods, Brya…”
His body stiffened against hers and she felt his own orgasm as acutely as her own. Both of them lay still for a moment, the only sounds in the cabin being their breathing and the omnipresent rumble of the ship’s engines.
Finally, he pulled out of her and rolled over on his side, taking her with him in his arms. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she snuggled closer to him. “Brya,” he said, “whatever happens, that was worth it.”
****
Brya checked the time: just after six in the morning. She looked over her shoulder at the naked man sleeping peacefully next to her and slipped out of bed, taking care not to wake him. She pulled an oversized t-shirt over her head before leaving her cabin, closing the door behind her.
They were down to less than forty-eight hours before meeting up with Wethmore. Her stomach knotted on itself and she wished heartily for a drink despite the early hour. Instead, she went to the galley and reheated her forgotten tea from the middle of the night. She sat down at the small table and sipped it without tasting.
Forty-eight hours and the ungraded fuel would be off her ship. Another few days after that and she would be back in Alliance space, looking for work after selling the Rapture for scrap. Angry tears pushed at the backs of her eyes and she blinked them away.
There was no point in crying about it. She would start over—again—and in a few years buy another freighter and build up her shipping contacts again. A simple enough plan, but not easy. To lose everything so quickly…
A tear slid down her cheek. She was going to lose everything again, including Kai. She looked over her shoulder at the corridor that led to her cabin, unsure how he fit into her life. She wasn’t completely clueless, as a teenager or now. She’d suspected long before they left for Alliance territory that he’d nursed a crush on her, and he’d mentioned before that he’d spent y
ears looking for her. Until just a few days ago, he’d always been her friend and now she wanted more. So did he, but in the cold reality of daytime—or what passed for daytime in deep space—she didn’t know how their lives would be compatible.
They weren’t, really. And now they had to go and fuck up everything even more by sleeping together. Despite his earlier assertions to the contrary, he would undoubtedly think it happened because she felt she had to and not because she wanted to, or that she was taking advantage of him when she wasn’t.
Sex made everything so much more complicated, especially when it was with someone she was already falling in love with. Brya was bad at relationships.
The Alliance Fleet would arrest Wethmore and everyone would return to their normal lives. Except her. She had to create a new normal. Again.
She heard her cabin door open and the slap of bare feet against the deck. Kai appeared in the galley doorway, a pair of loose drawstring pants hanging from his narrow hips. He yawned. “Why are you awake at this ungodly hour?”
“Why aren’t you still in bed?” She kept her voice as level as she could, trying to hide the tears there. She took a hasty sip of tea.
“Because you aren’t there.”
Well, why did he have to go ahead and say that? Brya felt a fresh wave of tears build behind her eyes and she blinked them away, an action that Kai didn’t miss.
“What’s wrong?” He slid into the seat next to her, concern etched across his features.
“Besides facing someone who wants to kill me and losing my ship?” And losing him, too, but she didn’t add that. “Nothing, Kai.”
He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned into him, needing the contact. “I told you I’d help you.”
But accepting his help was too much to ask of him, and she knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Gods, she’d screwed this up so much. But instead of saying so, she wiped at her eyes and let herself relish his warmth.
Chapter Ten
Ishka had a single spaceport that ushered in the Rapture without even bothering to issue docking clearance, which immediately set Brya and Kai on edge. Brya prayed that the Fleet was already there, that there hadn’t been a delay on their end and she wasn’t going to have to face Wethmore alone.
Rapture Page 10
