by Jillian Hart
“Is there a chance—?” He looked like she felt—raw and bleeding.
Brody. Her heart cried out for him. Her love was so fierce for him, it tore her to pieces. She wanted him to be different. To go back to last night when he was her one true love.
How could she?
Her soul ached, empty, as she turned away. What else could she do? She urged Keno into a gallop as fast as his strong legs could carry them.
When Brody was just a lone figure on the distant field, she drew her horse to a stop. Slid from the saddle. Knelt in the grass. Let the tears come. Hot, wrenching, consuming.
She felt the soft velvet of her horse’s nose against her jaw, nuzzling at her tears. Her best friend. Her trusty gelding she’d loved for most of her life. He loved her no matter what.
“Some males are pretty darn faithful and true.” She leaned her forehead against his neck, grateful for his comfort. His friendship.
Not even his comfort could stop the horrible rending of her heart, of her soul.
Nothing ever would.
Michelle was on her knees and she was crying. Brody had to go to her. He’d vowed never to hurt her and look at what he’d done to her. To the woman he loved more than anything.
“C’mon, man, we gotta go.” Hunter gestured toward the vans loading up. “Another mission done. It’s your last.”
Brody rubbed his hands over his face. This had gone terribly wrong. There she was, standing up. She was so far away, she was only a slim figure against the endless green.
If he went to her, would it make any difference? How could he change her mind? Repair the damage?
Hunter didn’t relent. “C’mon, buddy. It’s over. You’ve done your job and it’s time to go. They’re waiting.”
How was he going to walk away from everything that mattered? Go home as if his time here hadn’t meant everything.
“I can’t believe this ended so fast,” Hunter said. “Remember the Olympic Hills job? We lived in the mud and woods for a week.”
“One miserable week. It rains every day of April in Portland.”
Hunter chuckled. “I already knew that. Hey, this case was a piece of cake. It was a good one to ride out on. What’s next for you? The wide-open road?”
That used to appeal to him. To just take off, vacation. He’d never been good at vacationing. He was always too focused on work.
That wasn’t his problem anymore. His time was his own. What did he want to do with it? He only knew one thing for sure. He wanted to be here. On this piece of land. With Michelle as his wife.
She hated him. She thought he betrayed her. How did he fix that? Surely the Lord didn’t mean for things to end this way? Did He?
Hunter gazed in Michelle’s direction. “Don’t tell me you’ve finally found the right woman?”
“That, my friend, is in God’s hands. And hers.”
There she was, climbing back on her horse. She rode into the bright rays of the rising sun, golden and pure, and disappeared.
Leaving him alone. He’d lost everything.
Two agents were at the kitchen table, accepting Alice McKaslin’s steaming fresh coffee with fervent gratitude as Michelle burst through the back door.
“Honey, there you are.” Her mom looked relieved. “I was worried. These men have questions about Uncle Mick. They need us to talk to him. He’s got himself in some trouble now.”
“I need to change.” She wanted to shower and find fresh clothes, but what she needed most was time.
Time to gather up the pieces of her shattered heart. Find a place inside her to lock them quietly away. To pull herself together.
Then she could come back downstairs and face Brody’s colleagues. Oh, how they probably got a good chuckle at the country girl who fell hopelessly in love with the worldly, mysterious Brody.
Michelle kept walking and headed for the stairs.
One of the agents was talking. “Gabe is on his way.”
“Gabe?” Her mom asked.
“Gabe Brody,” the agent clarified. “You don’t know what your cooperation has meant. We want you to know your family has been cleared of all suspicion. We feared your farm and your one daughter’s coffee shop were fronts for laundering counterfeit money.”
“I just can’t believe it. Mick! After all we’ve done for him. He was tossed out by his wife last year, you know. And I can see why! Counterfeiting. How could he think to do such a thing. And we couldn’t bend over fast or far enough to help him.”
Michelle hurried through the living room. Gabe. That was his name. Agent Gabe Brody with the FBI.
Of course he was a noble, distinguished, hardworking man. A hero that helped to keep the laws of their nation. She’d known all along he was someone special. More than a drifter on a bike in black leather.
“Everyone should have a supportive family like yours. Too bad Mick didn’t make better choices with his life.” The agent’s words changed to a mumble as she started up the stairs.
She blinked hard. She was crying for Uncle Mick, that was all. Uncle Mick and his bad choices. Following the wrong paths. Making counterfeit money. Putting them all under the scrutiny of the FBI. Putting Brody right in the middle of their lives so he could use her for information.
Michelle stopped on the landing. There were the family pictures, all marching up neatly in carefully organized rows. Sadness wrapped around her. She’d hoped to add to the picture gallery, as Karen and Kirby had. She’d wanted that so much that it hurt.
She’d already envisioned her wedding pictures and her baby portraits. They would be framed in gold and hung at the top of the stairs, along with the others. A color documentary of the McKaslins’ lives. A testimony to the abundant love they were blessed with.
Would that kind of love ever happen to her again? Brody had been pretending, but she hadn’t.
Or was he her one true love, and there would never be another?
There she went, being romantic again. How foolish was that? Brody may have seemed like her true companion in this life. But it had all been an act on his part.
Maybe it wasn’t.
Where did that thought come from? It was her heart still wishing for Brody. He had come to her afterward. He’d tried to explain. He’d said he was sorry. He’d said he still loved her.
And what if that was just an act, too?
What if it wasn’t?
And if it wasn’t, how did she open her heart, even crack the door, just to let in more pain?
There he was. She could see him climbing out of one of the black vans. He looked like a dream—better than a dream—dressed all in black, with his protective vest and his weapons.
He looked like a hero on the silver screen, and she had to close her eyes. Turn away from the man who’d blown her last dream apart.
He was no strong, protective, honest man.
She was done with Agent Gabe Brody.
“She won’t see you, man.” Hunter came through the door of the McKaslins’ garage apartment and looked around. “Nice. This was a lot better than the trailer we were stuck in, remember that job in Tacoma?”
“Or the studio apartment in east L.A.?”
“Yeah. Good times.” Hunter rolled his eyes. “Well, this is it. The captain says you might as well ride out the way you came in. You’ve got the surveillance equipment packed up?”
Brody pointed it out stacked behind the couch, ready to go.
It was hard to watch Hunter leave. They’d worked together for ten long years. It was tough watching from the window as the agents climbed in and drove away.
That was his life, and he’d been good at it. One of the best. But it hadn’t made him happy. It was the life of a loner, the life of an observer. He’d always been traveling, always been working. Being the hand of justice when necessary wasn’t an easy thing.
He’d done his time, and it was over.
He’d trusted the Lord to show him what was next. To point him in the right direction.
And the Lord had.
He’d been all over the world in his work, and no place had affected him like this. No place whispered to him as if he belonged here, as if he’d been waiting for this all his adult life. And for the woman who lived in that house. Who owned his loner’s heart.
Alice stepped onto the porch, squinted up at the apartment, frowned at him in the window and went back inside.
Yep, they were angry. It was a hard thing, knowing he’d duped them. He’d arrested their beloved relative. Despite his flaws, the McKaslins did love Mick.
He didn’t have to be told he wasn’t welcome. He left his business card on the table, in case they had questions, the office would know where to find him for a while.
It was hard to leave. Memories tugged at him. He’d told Michelle how much he loved her right here in front of the hearth. And she’d said the same.
How much did she mean it? Was she the woman he thought she was, that when she loved it was with everything she had? Heart and soul, the same way he loved her?
Only time would tell.
He grabbed his duffel, climbed down the stairs in the blistering sun and stowed his pack on the bike. No one came out to wish him well or offer their goodbyes as he started the engine.
That was just as well. He wouldn’t know what to say to them.
He took one last look at paradise before he released the clutch and drove away from everything that really mattered to him. The only home he wanted to have.
The only woman he would ever love.
Chapter Fourteen
“Oh, I don’t believe it. Tell me I counted wrong!” Michelle moaned as she dropped her little silver shoe on the hotel bearing Boardwalk.
“Looks right to me!” Kirby rubbed her hands together. “Two thousand dollars, please. If you hand over all your property and money, that should just about do it.”
“I’m broke. Bankrupt.” The phone rang and Michelle sprang out of the chair.
The past few weeks had been tough, but she was surviving. Tonight’s game was Monopoly, because she couldn’t bear to play Scrabble—her feelings were still fragile. It seemed everything reminded her of Brody. “Does anybody want anything from the kitchen?”
“Food!” Kirby called out.
“Lots of it!” Kendra seconded.
Michelle looked at the caller ID that read Federal Government and decided to let it ring. She’d blocked Brody’s number on her cell and on the house phone. She did not want to talk to that man. She did not want to get a message from that man. Now he was resorting to playing hardball. How was she going to block all the FBI offices?
The answering machine clicked on while she was pulling a new bottle of soda from the fridge. Then there was Karen, blocking her way. Karen had that look in her eye.
Michelle knew just what it was, too. After the fallout of discovering that Brody was an agent and he’d been deceiving them all, the shock had worn off and Karen and her husband were the first to be on Brody’s side.
What was Karen going to do? Give her another gentle reminder that Brody had never outright lied. He had worked undercover in a rodeo. He was a good man. The face he’d shown them was authentic.
Michelle knew all that. She’d thought of nothing but Brody since she’d listened to his motorcycle rumble down their driveway, leaving her forever.
Leaving her so easily. And that’s why she was certain he’d manufactured his “love” for her. Michelle doubted Karen would ever understand. How could she? Karen had the perfect life. A wonderful, trustworthy husband. A beautiful new baby. A comfortable home.
She hadn’t been blown away by Brody’s declarations of love. She hadn’t been devastated by Brody’s broken promises.
Karen headed toward the phone. “Aren’t you going to answer that?”
“Nope. I’m screening calls.”
“Are you sure you want to do that?” Karen stopped at the island, clearly waiting to see who was about to leave a message. “Brody called Zach last night. They struck up a friendship, you know, and Brody asked about you. He’s been trying to get a hold of you. He wanted to know if you were okay.”
“I’m sure.” That was not a lie. She would be okay. She had to be. What she had with Brody was make-believe. What was the point in rehashing it? He’d done his job and he rode away.
Fine. Then he ought to stay out of her life. That’s why she’d blocked his phone numbers and returned his letters. He was probably feeling guilty because he was a liar.
But a tiny part of her couldn’t stop hoping that he wasn’t. What had he said? Regardless of what happens tomorrow, I love you, heart and soul. Even now, she wanted it to be true.
How could it be? He left. If he’d loved her so much, then how could he ride away without looking back? And even if he was telling the truth about loving her, that didn’t erase the fact that he’d deceived her once. Did that mean he could do it again?
She didn’t know, but it ripped her in shreds to think about it.
Karen was relentless, even if she was the nicest person ever as she grabbed a new bag of potato chips from the pantry. “I like Brody. And so does Zach. He apologized for deceiving us. He was only doing his job and he did it well. He was as respectful to our privacy as possible.”
“Oh, is that what he said.” Making her want him didn’t qualify for that, not in her book! “He made me—”
“Love him?”
Yes. She’d tried everything she could think of to purge this unbreakable affection from her heart. The abiding love that refuse to lessen, refused to fade and remained as bright as ever. Praying hadn’t stopped it. Time hadn’t diminished it.
What was she going to do?
There was sympathy on her sister’s face. Karen had been there to guide her and protect her like a big sister should, all of her life. “What would you do? If Brody had been Zach, before you married him, wouldn’t you have sent him packing?”
“You can never walk in another person’s shoes exactly, so I don’t know.” Karen pulled out the stool at the breakfast bar and pulled the potato chip bag close so she could open it. “I only know that in a perfect love, there is room for forgiveness. And for mistakes.”
“It wasn’t a mistake. He deceived me on purpose.”
“What choice did he have?”
“True.” Michelle hated that one point of the argument, the one she kept going over and over again no matter where she was—whether she was riding her horse, chatting with Jenna, working at the Snip & Style and even when she was supposed to be studying her Bible.
The answering machine beeped and clicked. Karen had hit the play button and was turning up the volume.
It was a man’s voice. “Yeah? Say, this is uh, Captain Daggers. I’m Agent Brody’s supervisor and I’m trying to get in touch with Michelle McKaslin. If you could have her return my call, I would appreciate it. I want to assure her that my agent had no choice but to keep his mission from her, as it could have jeopardized innocent lives. Thank you.”
As she ripped open the stubborn potato chip bag, Karen crooked one brow as if to say, See? What else could the poor man do?
Yeah, yeah. Michelle took her time searching for the tubs of dip. Since everyone liked something different, she had to make sure there was French onion dip or Kendra would complain. Ranch for Kirby. It was her sisterly duty. She wasn’t trying to hide her tears or anything. Really. Her eyes were watering because it was cold inside the refrigerator. Really cold.
“Like I said, there is room in a perfect love for forgiveness. And mistakes.”
She’d told Brody everything. She’d shown him her heart and every vulnerability. He knew what Rick had done to her and that she’d been hurt before, and still he’d lied.
She found the last tub of dip. “How can I forgive him?”
“Maybe he’s not the one who made the mistake. Or needs forgiving.” Karen reached across the center island to tug at Michelle’s ponytail. “Think about that, baby sister.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong.”
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br /> “Does the Bible teach us to be forgiving?”
“Well, that only goes so far. I mean, I’m not a doormat.” She picked at the plastic on the tub of ranch dip. She took great care ripping off the plastic seal.
She had to take her time and do it right because she didn’t want to chip her nails.
“Are you crying?”
“No.”
“You love him. You really do. It’s the real thing.” Karen abandoned the bags of chips on the counter and wrapped her arms around Michelle. “Love like that is rare. And it hurts. It challenges us to be bigger and better people than we are. Take my advice and rise to the challenge. Show him what your heart is truly made of. It will work out, I promise it.”
How did Karen know? Could she fast-forward through time to see how this was going to end?
But then, Karen did seem to know everything. She had the perfect life. She always made the perfect choices. Michelle couldn’t thank God enough for the wonderful blessing of her sisters.
Brody idled the black powerful motorcycle on the shoulder of the road. The West Virginia farm country had changed since he’d been a boy, but the old red barn was still standing. Someone had put on a new roof and painted it white. It looked sharp. Sheep grazed in lush fields.
This was his past. A past he’d refused to think about because it always brought with it grief. Now there were only the happy memories. The field there, where he and his dad once rode the tractor together. And the path between the fences where he’d ridden his horse.
Good memories. He had peace, at last.
With any luck, there would be better memories to make in his future.
He’d sold his town house, had a moving company come for his belongings and now he was heading west. To Montana.
To Michelle.
Would she forgive him? She’d blocked his number, so he couldn’t even ring in on her phone. She’d returned his letters. She hadn’t answered his captain’s call. With the way she was acting, he was probably out of luck.
But he knew she could forgive him. Why? Because he loved her. Fierce and true and forever. Nothing would ever change that love or diminish it. It was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of blessing.
