“You’re looking really good, Charlie.” And he is. I’m jealous that he’s been able to look this good after being apart all these months. Me, I’ve been a complete and utter mess since.
Charlie’s eyes roam over my face, and when they dance over my body, I instinctively pull at my kimono.
“You’re looking good yourself. Practically glowing. I guess the Bali sun agrees with you.”
Nervously, I watch as he takes a sip of his drink before pulling it away and inspecting it appreciatively. “This is really good.”
This small talk of ours will wear thin shortly, so I decide to break it up now before he does.
“I only left because I knew if I stayed, I would only end up holding you back.”
Charlie thumps his glass down so hard it makes me jump. “That wasn’t only your decision to make, though, was it?”
My heart feels like it’s escaping my chest with the burning question I need to ask him. “Why are you here?”
He leans his hands on the counter, dipping his head. “I needed to see you. I needed to hear the words from your own mouth. The words which offer an explanation for running away like you did.”
Tears start to prick my eyes, the burning pain of everything that has happened settling in my stomach. “We’re two worlds apart, you and me. If I had stayed, I would have been selfish, demanding that you be with me. It could have caused you to lose your job, your career. You could have lost everything, whereas…”
“You had nothing to lose,” he interrupts, repeating the words from my note back to me.
I give him a soft smile, nodding my head. “Nothing to lose but you,” I explain, admitting that the note was a complete lie. “I couldn’t fathom how I had fallen in love with a man I knew nothing about. You knew everything about me, and I had zero clue as to who you really were. I had resented that… resented you. I also resented that the one man whom I was head over heels for, was the one man I couldn’t have. So I ran. I was a coward, and I ran, but I promise you this. I haven’t gone a single day without missing your touch, your smell, the way you feel when I’m in your arms. Not one single day.”
Charlie pushes himself off the counter and takes a step back, his eyes holding a sadness that breaks my heart. “You ran away, not because you were a coward, but because you were trying to save me? Save me from what? Losing my fucking job? Do you really think that my line of work has any precedence over you? It couldn’t hold a fucking candle.”
Shocked at his confession, I take a step back, but in doing so, my kimono opens, revealing my bare torso. Charlie glances down as I quickly cover myself, but as I take in his dazed expression, I know he’s already seen enough.
“Bri?” he asks as I close my eyes. “Bri, fucking talk to me.”
I swallow the bile in my throat and open my eyes. “The night Chris was killed I was on my period.” A tear slides down my cheek as I turn to face him, my heart in my mouth knowing I’m about to face his wrath. “After my period ended, I neglected myself terribly, and one of the many things I neglected was taking my contraceptive pill.” I close my eyes again, another tear falling. “Around four weeks after getting here, I started to get sick. I put it down to change of climate, but it wasn’t that at all.”
Charlie’s mouth hangs open as he steps forward, his hand reaching out towards my protruding belly. “You mean…”
“Yes,” I reply. “I’m almost eighteen weeks pregnant with your baby.”
Angry tears fill his eyes, and the shock of seeing them tears me apart.
“You’ve been pregnant with my baby all this time, and you never thought to tell me?” He throws his hands up in the air, a frustrated growl leaving his lips.
“I was going to tell you, I swear. I thought I could be apart from you, and that thought was bad enough, but when I found out I was having your baby, it changed everything. I knew it would. But, what could I have possibly done? I couldn’t exactly call the police station and ask for a Detective Charlie Cox, could I? It’s not even your real name!”
“You easily could’ve contacted me, Bri. You could have phoned me, written to me… anything!”
“I left everything behind!” I growl back, my blood pressure reaching a boiling point. I place my head in my hands, trying to calm my breathing. “I left my phone, ID, contacts, everything behind. I was ashamed and frightened and all alone out here. When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t want to believe it at first. I was frightened… so fucking frightened that I buried my head in the sand as long as I possibly could. But just three weeks ago I started showing, and since then the fear has crippled me from the inside out. I was going to try and somehow find you to tell you, I swear. I was just too chicken shit to act for fear that you may reject me.”
Marching towards me, Charlie grabs me by the arms, gripping me in place. He searches my tear-stained eyes, his own softening at my distress.
“You ran away to a country you’ve never been and had to deal with a life growing inside of you all by yourself. You should never have to deal with something this momentous on your own. And now I’ve missed the crucial stages of my firstborn, not being here when you needed me the most. It fucking kills me to learn this.”
Hot tears fill my eyes again. I’m so frickin hormonal lately. “But what about us, and the life you’d leave behind? Your career as a detective… everything?”
He lets out a deep breath before responding. “I stayed long enough for them wrap up the case, and then I resigned. When you left me, everything was put into perspective. Suddenly, my career in the police force meant absolutely jack shit; if I couldn’t have you in my life, nothing else mattered. Besides, you were right. They did fail you, and others just like you.” I frown, wondering what he means, but he answers my question before I can ask. “When you left, I put all my efforts into finding police reports like yours where crimes against children were committed and nothing was ever done. I was fucking appalled when I counted them all up. Almost ten thousand over the last fifteen years.” I gasped and Charlie nodded. “I know. I felt sick to my stomach when I realised so many crimes had been buried, and so many children had suffered as a consequence. I did something completely unethical and took down as much information as I could, and once I resigned, I leaked the lot to all the major press in the UK. I didn’t name names, just incidences. Just two weeks ago there was a major news announcement about failings in the Metropolitan Police, and now a full investigation has ensued.”
I swallow hard. “I had no idea. I deliberately haven’t looked up any news in the UK because I’ve been frightened my face would come up,” I joke, causing Charlie to smile.
“No, baby. No one’s hunting for you. Only me.”
I bite my lip, trying to suppress my smile. “Is there any chance I can know your real name now? It’s only fair since I’m carrying your baby.”
Charlie lets out a growl of a laugh. “I guess so. It’s Charlie Pearson.” I glance away, repeating his name in my head. “You’re thinking if Pearson goes with your first name, right?”
I gasp, causing him to laugh again, and it’s the best sound in the world. “No, I’m not.”
I really am.
“My name is Charlie Pearson, and I was born on the seventh of May, nineteen-eighty-five. All that stuff I told you about me being adopted and losing my sister was true. I was trained by my adoptive parents in numerous fighting techniques including karate, jiu-jitsu, and krav maga, which served me well when I joined the navy at eighteen. I stayed in for five years before joining the secret service where, after six years, I almost died in a blast in Kuwait. I was fine, but seeing so many people die and the chaos that ensued lived with me for so long and affected me so much that I resigned from that position and decided to live a somewhat quieter life working for the police.”
I huff at that. “Yes, you’ve certainly been living the quiet life, almost getting shot and killed by my brother, no less.” I wince at my joke, the pain of it all still fresh in my mind.
“I k
now. And you’re right, of course. I decided it’s high time I hang up my service cape and semi-retire in a beautiful place.” He raises his eyebrows, a cocky grin on his face. “Like Bali, perhaps?”
A huge smile stretches my lips so wide, it almost hurts my face. “You mean..???”
Charlie beams back at me, nodding his head. “That’s if you’ll have me?”
“Have you!?” I scream, jumping into his arms where he quickly captures me. “Of course, I will have you. Nothing could make me happier.”
Charlie leans his head down, kissing me tenderly on the lips. “Good, because even if you had said no, I would never have let you go. Especially now that you’re carrying my baby.” His eyes glaze over with sadness for a moment, making my heart leap. “From this moment on, all of your needs come first, okay? From this moment on, allow yourself to be happy. You may not think you deserve it, but you do. You deserve the world, and I would give it all to you, if I could.”
I squeal like a teenager, squeezing my body to him for a hungry kiss. At first he responds, but then he pulls back, lowering me to the floor.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, frowning.
“I don’t want to hurt the baby. Which reminds me…” He bends down on his knees to face my belly. His hand comes out, covering my little bump, the feel of it sending warm shivers throughout me until it eventually lands in one place.
My groin.
“You and I are going to get to know each other real soon, but before that happens, you have some growing to do.” I throw my head back laughing, my hand stroking his cheek. He kisses my belly, causing me to moan, my desire for him growing every second. He looks up at my heated stare then says to my belly, “We’ll talk soon, little one. I think your mother needs Daddy’s attention right now.”
I bite my lip, my heart pounding in my chest, wetness instantly pooling between my legs. “Oh, yes,” I whisper, my voice coated with longing.
He pulls himself up, taking me into his arms, and kissing me like his life depends on it. “I have no idea where we go from here, Bri, but I will tell you one thing’s for certain. Wherever we go, we go together.”
I nod my head in confirmation, not able to form words due to the need I have to be with him. Sensing this, Charlie doesn’t hesitate as he takes me to bed, laying me gently down, and making love to me like this will be our last time.
Except this time, I know it won’t be the last. This time, I am the happiest woman on earth because I know now that my future won’t be filled with despair and uncertainty. No more fear or trepidation. This time, I see it as clear as day, the road map of my life to come. It will be filled with passion and romance. Warmth and happiness.
It will be filled with nothing but love.
For the first time in all my twenty-two years of life, I am no longer afraid of what’s to come.
Hold on! Don’t go just yet. Turn the page to get two bonus chapter from Chris’s point of view.
I’m staring into the abyss. Right into the heart of the deepest, darkest pits of hell. But it’s all been worth it. All worth it for her.
Chris Wilkinson - Deceased.
The day that changed everything
Chris’s point of view.
I’m laying in bed awake, the faint lights from the street illuminating the room. Bri is sleeping soundly next to me, her breathing soft, her face like an angel, so peaceful as she rests.
I often wake during the night like this, my mind in torture, flashes of war an endless loop playing through my head. I’d been near two blasts in Afghanistan, both were bad, but the second is the one that tortures me the most. Nothing but dead bodies, flesh hanging from skin, a ten-year-old boy stuck hiding inside a hut with nowhere else to go, staring at me, begging me to save him. I tried. Fuck, did I try, but I didn’t get to him fast enough. I witnessed his death. Saw the moment the force of the blast catapulted his body, eventually landing at my feet. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes, and they have haunted me since. All I saw when I looked into them was terror. An emotion that’s been reflected back at me every night since. I often wake screaming, my heart racing, my head constantly shouting, “Why didn't you save him?!” over and over again.
I have deliberately kept all this from Bri. She has enough on her plate right now, dealing with me and losing her job because of some prick that couldn’t keep his hands to himself. I still clench my fists every time I think of that fucking creep.
When I first got back, I tried sleeping on the sofa, but I had so many nightmares, my cries waking Bri, causing her to run in to try to calm me down. She suggested I sleep with her in the bed, and it’s certainly worked. My nightmares have subsided substantially, and when I do wake, my body riddles in terror, I seek her heat like a missile; it immediately calms me.
My gaze flits to her sleeping frame, wondering if she’s dreaming, and if so, about what? She’s changed so much since I last saw her. We both have. She’s no longer the young, teenage girl I left behind all those years ago, which I’ve been beating myself up over ever since. I did send money whenever I could, but something tells me our precious, loving mother managed to find the money whenever it arrived and spent it all on booze. I haven’t asked Bri, because selfishly, I don’t want to know the answer. She’s safe now. She has roof over her head—it’s not exactly the Ritz, but it’s enough for now until I can find work. Something I’ll be heavily looking into in the morning. Bri deserves so much better than this shit. All her life, she’s had to live in poverty with only me really looking out for her. I have to laugh at that. Funny how the roles are reversed now.
Bri moans, a discomforting frown forming at her brow, intensifying my need to make it all better for her. Get her out of this shitty, never-ending situation she’s in. She deserves so much more than the hand she’s been dealt, yet here she is, taking me in, even though I’m a broken man. She’s still so young; she has her whole life ahead of her. I can’t help but get this feeling that I’m holding her back. At the moment, I’m too selfish to let her go, but my better judgement still taunts me, nonetheless.
I want her all to myself.
That’s what the ugly monster inside my head screams, again and again, never letting it go. And it’s grown worse since we’ve been sleeping in the same bed together. Lately, she’s been seeking me out, wrapping her tiny little arms around me in her sleep. At first, it was sweet, but one night she pressed her breasts against the side of my chest, and my dick fucking reacted. She’s a woman now, so different from how I remember her, so I can’t blame my errant cock for behaving the way it did.
No longer is she the skinny girl with limp hair and dark circles under her eyes—the dark circles which never overshadowed how beautiful her light blue irises were. There aren’t any dark circles there now, her eyes a magnificent, sparkling shade of light blue. Her hair is light blonde, long, soft, and wavy. She’s filled out in all the right places, with curves that have men glancing her way whenever she walks down the street or into a shop. I’ve witnessed it myself several times, and each time I’ve had to bite my tongue for fear I’ll fucking tear them from limb to limb. Just for simply looking. That was all it took for the raging monster inside me to rear its butt-ugly, fucking head.
What the fuck’s wrong with me?
No doubt she sees the changes in me also. I’m not the boy who left to join the army. I’ve since filled out, too, my muscles tight, my hair grown out from its former army cut. I’m a beast of a man in size and in nature. Quite the transformation from how I was all those years ago.
The sound of Bri moaning snaps me out of my thoughts, and my eyes scan in her direction. She kicks out at the duvet cover, causing it to fall, revealing her breasts.
Fuck! Why isn’t she wearing pyjamas?!
I turn to look away, but my hardening dick forces me to glance back. Her breasts are the most perfect pair I have ever seen. They’re full, perky, with the most exquisite pink nipples. My tongue naturally darts out, desperate to lick them, take them into my mouth, and
feast on them.
I turn my head away in disgust.
That’s your fucking sister, you sick piece of shit!
Why isn’t she wearing any fucking pyjamas?!
My mind wages war, my desire spiking as even with my eyes shut now, all I can picture are her impeccable breasts.
“Chris,” she moans, and my head instantly zips back to her. Her hand rides up her torso before landing on one of her breasts. She pinches the nipple, moaning, and my dick fucking jumps through my boxer shorts.
I think she’s going to wake, but her hand soon relaxes, and she falls back into a silent sleep. I should look away again, but no matter how much I try, my eyes remain transfixed on those flawless breasts. My hand hovers, fucking desperate to touch them, caress them, hold them, suck on them. But instead of reaching out to her, my hand glides over my cock, making me hiss with pleasure.
I’m too fucking far gone.
Unable to stop this, I take my cock out and start to play with myself as I watch her tits. I’m like a fucking pubescent teenager wanking over a magazine or some shit. It’s fucking insane, but I can’t stop. It feels too fucking good to stop.
Pleasure spikes and my breathing quickens. I’m wanking myself into a frenzy right next to my sister… over my sister.
Shit, this fact should stop me, but I can’t. All my head is screaming at me at this point is… “Mine, mine, mine!!!”
My hand moves faster, and soon my balls start to tighten as waves of pleasure dance all over my body. I picture myself licking and sucking those pebbled nipples while she moans her desire, begging me to fuck her.
I come. So. Fucking. Hard. It lands on my boxer shorts, seeping in and growing cold as it hits my skin. For a few moments, I still, my breathing calming from the warm glow of my orgasm. After a beat, I rub a hand over my face, guilt and shame at what I’ve done eating away at me.
Tainted Love Page 28
