by Brown, Allen
"Okay... Chris, lets wait for a bit. Please." She said holding his arm.
Chris' jaw locked up as he gave her a tight smile, "Fine... I'll wait in my car." He said with a small sigh, "I have... some calls... to make."
"Aha, Sure." I said turning my back before he could say another word.
Gripping the butt of my gun, I raced back to room where Alice was held. I kept my pace slow, as the stinking lawyer still watched me, doesn't he know I'm a cop, who is he fooling with playing around with his phone. l will get to the bottom of this, and no lawyer will prevent me from doing so.
Alice shifted in her seat when I entered, Bill following behind. I immediately took a seat. I pulled the gun out of my holster and dropped it onto the desk. The weight of my forty caliber pistol magnified the silence in the room. Bill stopped and stared at my gun, so did Alice. I rested my hand on it, "Sorry, the clunky thing can be uncomfortable to sit with." I said without looking at them, my hands brushing the gun in front of me.
Both still stared at the glock. "So, Alice, could you continue telling me what happened?" I said getting right to the point, she looked at the empty cup in front of her. With a slight nose laugh, the one where you give out a short burst of air from your nose, she pushed it aside with a smile.
"You know, it’s a dangerous thing, the mind that is." She started, looking at me then moving slowly down my gun, "It's never truly yours. It belongs to you sure, no one else can see it sure. But you aren't alone. If one delves within the depths of their mind for too long... You'll realize this. Inside everyone, there is more..."
"What? What're you rantin' bout miss?" Bill said.
"Haha... I sound like one of those daddy's angel psych students. You know," She said turning her attention to Bill whilst clawing at the table under her hand. "The ones who think they are these profound thinkers, that they know everything because they have seen the world. Well, I can tell you, that it's not the world that needs looking at, its the hearts and minds of those on it, and you should fear it... But what the heck do I know, I'm no expert."
She simply smiled at me with wide eyes, I couldn't place her. "Get on with it please."
"Jordan, I need you out here." Debra yelled from outside the door, "It’s urgent."
Sucking the edges of teeth, I couldn't help but grip my hands with force, "Bill, Can you?"
"Yea, sure boss." He said getting up and going to Debra. Watching him leave the room, I returned my lowered gaze to the woman in front of me.
"Alright alright..."
TWO
Alice
By the time we reached the bottom, the sun was tucked away for the night, the helicopter came and went. Our attempts at yelling and reaching into the sky were wasted, I guess that should be expected. I bet once they confirmed we weren't there, they left instantly just get back and warm. It wasn't a big deal for them, it was procedure, the search begins the next day. They advised us so, it's why they made us pack food for three to four days, it happens all the time. Part of the adventure I suppose.
Mel and I dragged our feet through a foot of snow, looking for a place to stay dry. The layers of cloth that wrapped my legs didn't help anymore. My teeth rattled so loudly that I kept thinking the helicopter was in the distance, I'd shoot my head towards the sky constantly looking for it. Before night came, we found a nice stone plateau surrounded by some thick evergreen trees. It was a nice place, it shielded us from the wind nicely. The silver moon floated under the howls of the wolves, huddling together, we slept as best we could on that slab, like a dish being served best. Cold.
Throughout the night I woke up with a parched throat. That is, until I gave up and couldn't take it any longer. I stuffed some snow into my mouth and left it there till it warmed up before swallowing. It was damn refreshing, by the end, sure it burnt but it needed to be done. Jake and Mel were mostly quiet, hardly speaking a single word. It bugged me at times, how silent they were, but before I cared enough to do anything I found myself waking up to daylight.
"We need to move," Jake said sitting up on the stone. "Dudes, if we stay still, we will freeze to death."
The night tapped most of our energy, seeping on our force endlessly with each draft of the wind. Jake moved very minimally, only when he needed to. Mel and I mirrored most of his movements. At first we walked in circles around the stone hedge that kept our clothes dry from the creeping snow. A squirrel watched us from above on a tree, nut in hand, he ate his breakfast while we continued to pump blood through our systems. We ate our granola bars sparingly, not to conserve, but because of the lost of appetite.
***
"What will we do? When are they coming back?" Mel said taking a bite from her chocolate bar, sitting atop the stone on the sleeping bags.
"Anytime time now, they should have searched the top portions, and now they will head down here." I said, although I wasn't very convincing. Both Jake and Mel accepted it without thought, even I felt the loneliness of the words. I continued to heave through the snow, a trailed began to form that made it easier. The adrenaline from powering through it earlier, and now seeing the mark I left on the world still coursed through me. It was satisfying, "Sounded as if the wolves got closer last night didn't it?"
"Yeah, I wonder if it'll be a problem. We should prepare for that." Jake said near the tree line circling us.
"Do you have anything for that?" Mel asked.
"Not really, I have this small knife, can't do much against a pack of wolves." Jake said, looking up to the squirrel that watched us.
"Maybe we should move." I said, stopping in the snow. Looking outwards, there was a canvas of snow that awai-ted our mark.
"But, won't they come here to search?" Mel asked, her voice shaking from the cold.
"They will search the bottom." I told her, "but, there will only be bones to find if we stay here for them to come get us."
That night, we heard more than the cries of wolves, the wind was too weak to conceal the noise they made sneaking through bushes within our vicinity. I didn't sleep that night. When my eyes decided to close for a second, I would hear something, and sometimes I caught a glimpse of their eyes dazzling under the moonlight. Their soft whispers were timed apart perfectly, to make sure they didn't wake us, their prey. My mind wandered aimlessly, as if it hiked through the depths of the Amazon forest. It would take detour after detour, it traversed through endless corridors arriving at no conclusion, or even the hint of it. The one thing that could save me now was a pale of ice down my spine freezing everything. So I did exactly that, I ripped off my jacket and bathed in the snow. The ice touched my body like a spark to a flame, each spot ignited with a furious fire that burnt endlessly.
***
Sitting on the stone plateau, I traced a young intrinsic snowflake drifting through the drafts of the wind, being whipped around in circles eventually joining its colleagues on the ground, sitting together, yet existing independently. It wasn't until Jake came and stepped on them, melding them into a singular shape, unified they lost their unique beauty; they were just another flock amongst the herd.
"Wake up Alice." A muffled voice said, "Get moving, or you'll freeze to death." It said to me, I think it was Mel. I couldn't pull my attention away from that disappearing snowflake that only started its life.
As soon as the daylight checked in, it checked out again to night fall, everything was a blur. Our rations diminished fairly quickly, I guess we expected the helicopter to reach us by now. We heard them hovering above the mountain earlier in the day, but disappeared by midday. The peak of the mountain was cloaked by a layer of clouds.
***
Howling winds pierced the forest around us, slamming into the mountain waking us from our not so restful sleep. We all scattered to cover, I huddled under the low hanging branches of a nearby brush, I cuddled with my knees, wishing it was a dream. Where did it all go wrong? I don't know why, but being there reminded me of when I was younger. Sitting in the bathroom, staring at the mirror, in its reflection I
saw a lonesome girl that moved countless times in her life. Never long enough to settle, only a girl who constantly chased the dreams of her parents of a better life.
Once the storm simmered, the silence of the forest was terrifying, it left a hole for the mind to manifest on its own. On one day, the forest could be a distant bird chirping in the trees. But today, its smelled of charred meat and the howls of a single wolf.
***
Like an unsuspecting sneeze creeping onto you, we found ourselves walking in a blizzard. Shards of ice slashed my cheeks as the fringe wind moved wildly down the moun-tain range. Piles of snow migrated from atop the mountain finding its resting place in our path. My chest, wrenched with sweat as my face numbed to the cold. I felt my heart struggling to fight, Mel held onto my back as I held onto Jake's. I would feel her hand tug me right or left as she drifted in the wrong direction and corrected herself. Even though her arm was on me, she couldn't see. The heavy swarm of snow screened our vision of the natural world. Our world was more pure, it was a singular thing. White.
Wandering through a valley void of shadows, it was a small dip in the ground that sent us sliding to the bottom of what I think was a pit. Mel lost me, and I lost Jake. I didn't feel Mel tumbling behind me, I swore I would have felt her boot driving into my spine somehow, but I couldn't be sure. I tried feeling my way on the ground, I even tried yelling for Jake over the howling wind.
"Here!" He returned, but I couldn't place him. The wind would have carried his voice farther than I thought. I snuggled into the side of the wall, escaping the wind and the storm, and waited.
ONE
Jordan
Bill returned to the room, his face stern and gripping, as if he was overdue on a bowel movement. His eyes fidgeted between us, "C-can I see you for a second sir?" He said putting an emphasis on his stare towards Alice. He must have something on her.
"What is it," I asked, waiting... "spit it out man."
My eyes stayed on its target, there was no way she will be avoiding our questions, not this time. I needed to get what I suspected, the truth, from her before that shiny lawyer gets back.
"But, I think we should..."
"Spit it!" I yelled, darting my look at him. I could see the fierce fire in my face reflecting from his glistened eyes. I sat on the edge of my seat, leaning over my pistol that still sat on the desk behind my arms. I circled it like a cove.
Gripping the door, he said: "They found a body, a girl." With a thin voice that got higher as he spoke, after he was done, we both looked at Alice. She sat upright in her chair, her curved spine visible from her jacket.
"Who?" She said curiously, her hands folded in front of her.
Bill looked to me first for approval, before giving him the nod to go on, I looked to Alice. Her muscles were tight, her eyes locked onto Bill. She awaited his word like a puppet waiting for its strings to be pulled. This was what I was waiting for, the key to open the box and spew its remained onto the desk. Bill dropped his hand from the door, and closed it slowly until he heard the click. He then took a seat to my left and leaned into Alice, with a single breathe he said: "What did you say happened to Melony?"
"Sh-she... She got lost in the blizzard." Alice said calmly stretching her hands out and leaning back into her chair in an attempt to hide her stiff reaction.
Bill stayed silent, he simply surveyed her, her words, her actions. It was a light I have never experienced with him yet, who knew the bloke could actually do police work. He continued to lean on the desk with his elbows, and hands folded. He tapped his hands periodically with the other, a single beat with three of his fingers that got faster and faster.
"Come on now, let us know the truth. It would be best for you to get ahead of this, we can use it to protect you." He said trying to reason with her.
"I don't know what happened. That's the truth, when can I leave?" Alice said looking at her wrist for a watch.
"Our team found her, throat slit open." He said, noticing her impulse reaction. Alice twitched at the news, quickly recovering her demeanor. "Its okay, she came at you first no?" He said looking over at me and nodding in acceptance, "Yeah, she attacked you first, and then you just defended yourself in self-defense. We've all been there. There is no harm in it. Survival of the fittest, ammirite?
"No! I would never hurt Mel, what's wrong with --- "
"Cut the shit. I read the journal you kept." I interrupted her.
There are days where no matter what, you can deflect the loads of shit tossed your way; not that it requires a special skill or anything, simply because you don't give a damn. Since the alarm woke me this morning and I rolled up onto my bed. The blue morning was dry and frigid, my wife still tucked under her warm silky blanket, I knew I wouldn't be able to toss these petty issues aside. Maybe it was because this particular person landed on my door and threw everything under the bus. Why me though? Why couldn't you pull your crap out on someone else, and spare me your heinous atrocity.
"Journal?" She asked, looking at me with crooked eyebrows, mirroring Bill.
“Yeah," I said with a smile of victory on my face. "A little black book I found in your bag." I sat back in my chair with my arms crossed, this is over.
"Oh that..." Alice retorted dismissing it naturally, "Thats not mine." She said waving her hand off in the air, her expression was believable, she almost did get me.
"Uh-huh, convenient." I said my arms loosening a bit.
The room was still, except for shifting eyes. Bill waited for me, and I for Alice. Every moment that passed, the room shrank as I grew bigger. It took until I completely overshadowed Alice, for a bead of sweat to run down her forehead.
Victory.
Her smile waned as her feet bounced again under the table repeatedly. Even Bill surprised me by keeping silent, he plainly stared at her. Piling the pressure, let her sink!
I began to tap my pistol, beat after beat I increased the pace before slowing back to a regular interval. Maybe I did it because I was impatient, but I could tell you, it worked. I noticed every time I sped up, Alice would shift in her chair, and dart her eyes to and from my pistol. Everything was finally on my side of the court, until the door to the room flew open and slammed against the wall leaving an imprint. Grabbing our attention, it flushed the heat from the room like a vacuum. The chill raised the hairs on the back of my neck.
The lawyer and his briefcase stood in the doorway, its curious that people still use those. "Deputy Jordan, may I remind you that you are in contempt of the law!" He yelled naturally disgusted.
"How the hell did you get back here?" I said to him.
"Sorry, he pushed passed me." Debra said peeking over his shoulder.
Alice scrambled onto the table and grabbed my gun and moved to the corner of the room. She held the gun with both of her hands, pointing downwards, her eyes twitched around the room before getting back to the gun, flipping the safety off. I immediately leaped out of my chair, raising my hands in front of me, "Easy... Alice, what are you doing."
Bill, backed out of his chair so quick it went flying into the back wall. Drawing his gun and aiming down sights faster than a cowboy at noon, side stepping from behind the table into clear view of her. I came around the table, approaching her from the opposite side. The lawyer and Debra ducked and disappeared from view.
"Easy Alice, put the gun down." I said to her in the most calming and soothing voice I could, almost like if I were talking to one of my grandchildren.
"No! Get back!" She yelled shifting the gun between me and Bill. Her finger rested on the trigger, her arms shook and her eyes looked tired.
I tapped against my chest, "Look here." I told her, she listened. "Its over."
As I muttered those hollow words I felt my stomach tighten. I knew I fucked up. A chill crawled up my arm with an almost ghoulish feel. Alice stared at me with tremulous eyes, her sobs reaching my ears as her face displayed a colorful perplex of emotion. The way she hug-ged the dull beige wall was almost fluid, pressing
against it with her soft thin shoulders.
Looking at the gun trembling in her hands, she said: "Don't blame her for what I did, let her g--"
"What happened to Jake Alice?" I asked her with my hands still positioned in front of me. Alice waved her head back and forth as if shaking her head in disagreement. Bill and I took a step forward...
"Okay! Okay..." She said loosening her grip on the gun, "After I hurt Mel, Jake chased me, He was the one that wanted to hurt me! How is it my fault that he fell and hit his head?" She yelled in a hot flash, her breathing got aggressive and she pushed off the wall and stood with still hands pointed towards me. Bill managed to get a few steps closer to her, "Get back!" She bellowed, focusing the gun on him, he didn't move.
"Alice that’s not what happened, we both know that." I said frustrated, "these are peoples’ lives we are talking abo-ut! Your friends’ lives. I’m just looking for the truth that’s all." I titled my head until I cracked that hinge in my neck that returned from two years ago. I was on duty for a case that happened north of the city; the floor was lathered with ice, as I was circling the property of a supposed domestic violence case. The perp barged out the door and shoved me back, thankfully for the ice, it made me slip backwards. I stared as the world turned on itself, the house sank into the ground as the sky fell into view. By the time I came to, my back and neck was sore.
“Lives that no longer matter!" She cried, “and I am tell-ing you the truth."
"I have the book Alice." I told her, "You said that you smashed his head with a rock."
"Stop calling me that!" She cried out again.
"What?" I said.
"It’s not my book." She said finally turning the gun on herself, placing it firmly on her temple.
"Easy! Okay okay." I said raising my hand higher and taking a few steps closer. "Fine, its not your book. Who's is it?"
