These were my final words to him before I dropped the device down into my purse. "You and the kids have fun, babes. I am turning my cell phone off now." James would just have to understand the fact that I’d wanted to break out of the four-cornered rooms of our house that have all but smothered my livelihood minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day for six years.
When I fell in love with him, I knew that his love had awakened new things inside of me. The last thing I would have ever expected was that a few years later, the part of me that he had awakened would shrivel up and die of unrest. Once that part of me had perished, he kept right along living larger than life, as if he hadn’t recognized the corpse sleeping beside him. Perhaps he hadn’t.
James’ mind must be baffled beyond confusion right now. Not sweet ole homely Gladys running away for the weekend! I didn’t even confront him about the email from his trashy whore, so undoubtedly I would be the talk of the town by tomorrow morning.
I bet he already had his mother on speed dial. Well, they could have their little bitch session. The two of them taking turns blasting my name through the telephone was the least of my worries right now, while I had the hot Florida sun shining on my face through my car’s front windshield. That woman never liked me anyway, and quite frankly, I was a day past tired of faking like I liked her trifling tail, too. I had a sneaking suspicion that she was well-aware of the way that James was treating me behind closed doors (who knows, she may have been a punching bag for her own husband before he left her). You would think a woman would have some solidarity towards her son’s abused wife, but no. She took every opportunity she had to verbally bash me just as hard as he did.
I had spoken to Kelvin and Nazaria the night prior, and I told them that I would be gone for the weekend, so I wasn’t just abandoning my babies. To my surprise, they both were happy to know Mommy was going on a trip. As little as they were, they were all for me doing something that would make me happy. I hated to admit it, but I was sure that they knew about the beatings their father bestowed upon me. I tried to keep sunglasses on around them if I had black eyes, and I attempted to hide the bruises the best way possible. You just can’t keep things like that from children. They knew when Mommy was hurting, and I was sure they’d heard my cries in the middle of the night. My babies were as awesome as the sun, and I wouldn’t change one thing about them for the world – not even conceiving them with their bitch ass father. At least, James was good to them, doing whatever possible to avoid showing them his hatefulness. I had to give him credit for that much. He would never think of touching either of them. They had his blood coursing through their veins, and that was precious to him.
I took another look at the golden pass to Fontainebleau Resort to spend three days and two nights, at no charge. I was anxious and excited about the masquerade party Brenda was throwing, my free hotel nights, and just the entire weekend getaway. I reached inside of my purse, pulled out my cell, put it on silent with no vibrations, and dropped it back down into my purse.
“No more phone calls will interrupt my peace,” I assured myself aloud. This impromptu trip was completely out of character for me, but I threw caution to the wind. In my heart, I was craving the peace and tranquility of the ocean front. Married life sure wasn’t the white picket fence, dinner and a movie life I had envisioned that James and I would have, but so is life. All I knew for sure was that right now, a few relaxing days away from it all was sounding better by the minute. I turned up the volume on the radio, erased all traces of home from my mind, and pushed forward through the traffic.
Chapter 9
Shayla
Kicking off my shoes, I glanced at the gold Chanel set half-carat diamond toe ring that accentuated my freshly manicured toes. As it shimmered under the dimmed recessed lighting, the milieu that surrounded me was so breathtaking that I couldn’t help but admire all of my lavish amenities. I was one lucky woman to have everything I could ever ask for and more. I bowed my head and thanked God for all of the blessings I had received over the years. Our home overlooking Lake Nesto was in one of the most prominent neighborhoods both in and outside the city limits. Titus and I had equipped it with the finer things of life. Glancing at the clock, I was discouraged to find that it was 10:25 PM.
"I’m so glad I didn't change into my swimming suit. Then, I'd be sitting here looking like an even bigger fool than I do already," I said to the empty room, as I wallowed in my sorrows while still sitting on the couch.
Usually, I did not question Titus’ whereabouts, because I didn’t want to have to accept his lies. Sometimes no news was better than tainted news. Then again, as finicky as he could be, he’d probably have the nerve to be mad at me if I called him on his bull. It was messed up that he would be the one missing from home for a week and have the nerve to get mad if I asked where he had been.
He’d never do anything but fuss, but by the time he got finished fussing and cussing I would feel like he had put his hands all over me. I knew for a fact that he was not above cheating. I’d caught him a time or two back when I was checking for him. It was then that he let me know with the quickness that he did not appreciate me snooping around in his business.
The phone rang, breaking the silence in the room. It was Titus. I quickly pressed END on his call, silenced the ringer, and deleted his number from the caller ID. It was his time to sweat for a little while, just like I had done all day long. A minute after the phone rang, the voicemail light lit up indicating that he had left a message. I got physically sick to my stomach knowing that he was ready to feed me lies, and I like the fool that I was, I would undoubtedly eat them with a smile.
I allowed my mind to drift to another place that I’d rather be – in love. I imagined what it would be like to be married to one of those businessmen who came home every evening, reached down to pet the dog, and kissed the kids on the forehead goodnight. I wondered what it would feel like to have a man who was attentive to his wife’s needs, wants and desires. I was so starved for attention that I could actually see myself falling in love with a man who thought finding a difficult word in a cross word puzzle was the highlight of the day. If that meant he was going to be home to whisper sweet nothings in my ear at the end of the night, I was all for it. That scenario was so foreign to me that it sounded like nothing but far-fetched fantasy fairytales. Did anyone really live lives like that besides the white women you see carting Little Timmy and Little Tommy off to baseball practice in their mini-vans?
I had just drifted off to sleep dreaming about my very own loving businessman when the front door inched slowly ajar. I slightly cracked my eyes open to see my husband tiptoeing toward me with a dozen roses. Assuming I was asleep, he looked down at me on the couch and smiled. For a second or two, I could see a glimpse of regret slide across his face. That was definitely a new look for him.
My auburn-colored hair was disheveled across my face, covering full view of my eyes, so Titus could not tell that I was watching his every move. He eased down onto one knee and gently pushed several strands of hair away from my face and neck, exposing my honey toned skin. He’d once told me that I was his ‘Black Barbie’, and as I lay on the couch admiring my husband admire me I thought about that nickname. At that very moment, he had the same look of affection in his eyes that he had when he first called me that. I didn’t so much as make one tiny movement, afraid that I would break the trance and ruin the tender moment. I didn’t want to give away the fact that I was in a fake slumber.
As his eyes roamed over my body, he whispered, “Baby, you know you look like a goddess in your sleep. Mmmm, and that silk pajama set is absolutely beautiful.” He retrieved a single rose from the dozen that he had sat on the coffee table and dangled the sweet flower near my face, gently tickling my nose. When that did not rouse me, he finally decided to gently shake my shoulder. “Shayla? Wake up, babe.”
I had heard him come in, smelled the roses, felt his nudge, and heard him call out to me, but I decided to make him sweat for a littl
e while longer. If it was possible to be completely irritated and irreversibly in love with a person at the very same time, then that would explain exactly how I felt.
“I’m sorry, babe,” his bold voice spoke louder. “Please, wake up. The night is still young,” He knelt down and kissed my cheek, lightly rubbing his fingers over my lips. The night is still young? Was that the best he could come up with? Typical. He’s so selfish, I thought. A few more pleas, and I was going to tell him about himself.
“Shayla. Come on, babe. I know you’re up. You are not that good at faking like you’re asleep. Daddy is sorry Mama,” Titus said, and I could tell he was speaking in the most humble voice he knew how. I pretended to stir, rubbing my eyes for added effect. Once my eyes focused on him, I looked over to the clock and pointed at the time. It was 10:45 PM.
“It’s real cute and stuff that you’re strolling in here with roses and all, but it would have been even more cute if you had done it four hours ago.” I slowly sat up on the couch and stretched my arms to the sky as I took a nice long yawn.
He had the nerve to look surprised. He quickly retrieved the other roses from the coffee table and held them out to me as a set.
“Shayla, baby, I am so sorry for missing out on the dinner you prepared for me.” When he realized that I was not going to accept the roses, he placed them back on the coffee table and put his hand on my chin to raise my eyes to meet his.
I forced my face to turn away from him, despite his insistence. “And I know what’s up with you and Rhonda. Don’t even deny it.”
“What?” His face dropped, his jaw hanging open.
“Do you think I’m really that dense, Titus?” I shouted.
“I… Baby… I…” He stuttered, stuck on stupid.
“I know exactly what ya’ll did, trying to concoct some stupid story about you going to Atlanta, just to make me feel better.” I eyed him suspiciously.
“… Wait. Atlanta?” He looked totally confused now.
“Yeah, she told me your little lie about going to Atlanta to get me a present. Now all you come home with are these roses?! You mean to tell me it took you four hours and a drive to Atlanta to get me roses? I know Rhonda only wants for me not to be upset, but that’s the dumbest excuse I have ever heard in my life, Titus!” My nostrils flared as I waited for his explanation.
He paused, thinking, and then I could have sworn that I saw a slight smile cross his lips. He wiped his forehead and leaned in, “Shayla, baby… you’ve got to let me make this up to you.”
“It’s not funny! I don’t know why you’re smiling. How, Titus? How are you going to make it up to me? Do you think a new ring will work? Do you think you can just buy my happiness like I’m a high-priced prostitute? What do you want from me? If you don’t love me, then why won’t you just let me go?” I didn’t quite plan on this line of questioning, but since the issues were on the table, I stared him straight in his eyes and waited on his answer.
“Listen, Shayla, I can tell that you’re upset, as you should be. You are the most important person in my life, and I was wrong for standing you up tonight. Trust me; I know that. I’m sorry, and it will not happen again. But you are going overboard to even think that I don’t love you. I love you with everything I have in me, babygirl. Believe that.” He then pressed his lips against mine and kissed me. Every two seconds, Titus paused his lip lock long enough to tell me how sorry he was. When he finally broke the kiss, he continued to explain himself. “I had an issue come up with one of my suppliers tonight. I had to set them straight, but from now on, you come first, Shayla.”
I hated the effect that his touch had on me, even when everything in me knew I should stay angry. At this point, I couldn’t tell if it was all a bunch of bullshit lies again, or if he sincerely was just caught up tonight and was sincere about being sorry for missing our time to bond. Either way, he had to have been sampling his own goods if he thought coming in here with a simple explanation would suffice. I wanted to believe him. I really did, but I knew better from experience. I knew that if I fell for the okie-doke again, this same scenario would play itself over and over until I finally wised up.
I was about to give him a piece of my mind when my vision really came into focus, and I realized that Titus was kneeling on one knee with his pants off. Yes, my husband was clad with only a white wife-beater and his sexy black boxer-briefs. I rolled my eyes in an attempt to maintain by tough exterior, but the pure sight of him had me heated. I tried to think of a Bible verse that would calm the matrimonial lust that started to take up residence in my body – anything to allow me to be strong enough to confront him properly – but there were few things that I could not deny.
One: Titus was the finest piece of milk chocolate that I’d ever had the pleasure of indulging in. And two: I couldn’t resist my chocolate. He was two-hundred-and-ten-pounds of pure muscle stretched over a six foot frame. His dreads were neatly trimmed. His goatee was trimmed perfectly across his jaw line, and he had flawlessly silky cocoa-brown skin. This was the man who possessed calf muscles that were so big and taut that I could just rub them for hours on end.
For the next few seconds, I struggled internally on how to approach the situation at hand. He had to pay for standing me up. As incredibly fine as he was, Titus had gotten away with too much all too often. I bit down on my bottom lip and tried to compose myself to think of my next point of action. It was then that he put the icing on the cake and made my decision for me. He stood up and pulled me to my feet, so that our bodies meshed together like they were meant to be one. Involuntarily wrapping my arms around his neck, I closed my eyes and prayed to the Gods for strength.
“Titus, you are so wrong!” I whined, pouting with my bottom lip poked out.
“I know, but let me make it right,” His baritone whisper blew the hot words into my ear, and they then maneuvered their way all throughout my body, heating me from the inside out. Oh, what this man did to me! He then pulled me back in for a long and tender kiss, moving his mouth from my lips to my neck, and finally travelling downward over my breasts.
I realized that I was losing the battle even more with each passing moment. It’s just not possible for a woman to turn down a hot night of passion with her husband when that is all she has craved for so long. I needed to feel the love that he was so graciously giving me. He broke the kiss and searched my eyes to see if I was ready to forgive him, and despite all common sense that said that I should feel otherwise – I was.
Reluctantly, I stood there in a passionate stupor and said, “I forgive you.” He smiled and licked his lips in that signature LL style, so I added, “For now.”
To break the awkward silence, I giggled like the vulnerable woman I was. The fact that he hadn’t made it home earlier filed itself neatly away in the Never Mind compartment of my mind – just like so many other broken promises, missed dates, and lonely nights. I had every right to be furious, and trust me, I wanted to be mad at him. I really did, but he made it hard for a sister. The sexy look in his eyes and the aching between my thighs pretty much cinched it for me. My spirit was too weak to deal with his shortcomings right at that very moment, so I masked the mischievous grin that threatened to spread across my face and gently pulled away from his embrace.
“Get back over here,” Titus said, as he picked me up, securing me in his arms. I loved the way that he held me effortlessly, making me feel as though I was as light as a feather. We kissed deeply as he walked to the staircase. He took the stairs two at a time, anxious to get me into our master bedroom.
Chapter 10
Titus
After making sweet love to my wife, I stayed in the bed enjoying the moment. I pulled the comforter up over her so that she wouldn’t get too cold. My Black Barbie laid in our bed of love with the afterglow of our passion all over her beautiful skin. At that very moment, I thought about kicking my own ass for even thinking about being with another woman when I had more than a man could ask for at home, Even worse, what was I doing fuckin
g around with her best friend? What kind of stupid shit was I getting caught up in? I pushed those pesky thoughts about Rhonda out of my mind. Thoughts of that crazy possessed woman had no place here, soiling our bedroom in our family home. I wrapped my arms tightly around wifey’s waist and held her until sleep overtook us both.
The next morning, the smell of bacon, eggs, and fresh cinnamon awakened me. I hopped out of bed happy as a sissy with a bag of dicks and dashed into the shower for a get-fresh quickie, so I could join Shayla in the kitchen. If I was lucky, I would be getting some fresh cinnamon-flavored pussy for breakfast, too.
Once I had shitted, showered, and shaved, I tossed on a pair of silk boxers and followed the delicious smell to the kitchen. I sprinted down the steps bouncing like a man that had just been born again. Now that Shayla had accepted my apology, and I was confident that we would be capable of starting things over on a new foot, I didn’t want to do anything ever again that could cause me to lose her.
When I turned the corner and entered the kitchen, I immediately felt like vomiting in my throat. I had completely lost my appetite. Rhonda had the nerve to bring her skanky ass up in my kitchen. There she was, sitting across from my wife, on my high-back breakfast chair, at my special ordered French-style breakfast table, and she had the biggest shit-eating grin plastered on her face that she could possibly have. Just that fast, my mood had gone from happy-go-lucky to straight boo boo. To my dismay, that fuckin’ chickenhead beamed at Shayla and pointed at me, saying, “Look who’s out of bed, Shayla! Good morning, sleepy head.”
Completely aware that I’d lost that pep in my stride, I walked into the kitchen slowly and stood beside my wife’s chair across from Rhonda. I purposefully kissed Shayla on the cheek, keeping my eye on Rhonda, and said, “Yeah.”
Secrets of a Kept Woman (Volume 1) Page 7
