Blacklisted

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Blacklisted Page 13

by Jay Crownover


  Maybe.

  I didn’t move any farther until she nodded slowly and said, “I want you to kiss me.”

  Once I had the words and permission, my self-control snapped.

  My tongue twisted around hers, taking the kiss deeper, letting her know my intent. I knew she was still sad and wrapped up in a bunch of different emotions, and all I could hope was that passion and desire were caught up in the mix. I tried to use words to make her feel better and let her know I wasn’t planning on going anywhere, but I was better at proving my point with my actions.

  I took the hand holding her head and moved my fingers across the line of her exposed collarbone. I traced a line from the base of her throat to the knot of the towel between her breasts. Her emerald-colored eyes widened, and her tongue darted out to flick across her lower lip. I grinned and bent my head so I could chase after the moisture left behind. She said my name on a gasp but didn’t protest when I tugged on the knot.

  It gave easily, the short towel pooling around her hips.

  She was so pretty, all over. Pale and pink, which made sense with her red hair. She didn’t have freckles; her skin was flawless and unmarred from head to toe. She was slightly curved in all the right places but ran more along lean, elegant lines. The longer I stared at her, the higher the flush crossing her chest climbed. She wasn’t exactly uncomfortable in her skin, but having someone else take in every single inch of it obviously made her a little uneasy. She was far from brazen, and that made her all the more endearing. There weren’t a lot of women like her in my world, so I appreciated the charm of her sudden shyness.

  I dragged the back of my fingers across the upper curve of her breast. Her breath caught in appreciation, as her nipples tightened into tight points at the contact. I liked the way my decorated skin looked against the alabaster purity of hers. It was a stark contrast, one that turned me on and made my dick even harder than it already was.

  “You’re stunning, do you know that?” I asked the question, not expecting an answer. I got one in the form of a kiss. This time she didn’t bother to start out soft and sweet. She went right for tangled tongues and the nip of teeth.

  The kiss deepened, getting wetter and wilder when I cupped the weight of one breast. It was the perfect handful, and the way her nipple tightened even more underneath the pressure of my thumb was enough to make me want to eat her alive. I stepped further into her space, making sure she could feel how hard I was behind my zipper as her thighs tightened around the outside of my legs. One of her hands slid from around my neck and landed on the center of my chest, where I was sure she could feel my heart pounding. It was good she could tell she wasn’t alone in this crazy, overwhelming attraction that tended to blaze to life and was impossible to ignore when we were together.

  I moved my hand to her other breast, treating it to the same tender torment. She pulled her mouth away, gasping long and loud in pleasure. If just my touch could garner such a strong reaction, I was dying to know what my mouth could do.

  I kissed her hard, almost bruisingly so, until she pulled away to catch her breath. While she was distracted dragging much-needed air into her lungs, I kissed my way down the long line of her neck and across her collarbone. When my mouth sealed over the pert tip of one breast, she arched backward, and I put a hand on the small of her back to help her keep her balance. The little peak poked eagerly against my tongue, and Presley made a breathy sound that had my cock pulsing happily in my jeans. Her legs tightened even more, and her hand moved to the back of my head to hold me in place as I alternated between a fast flick of my tongue and the soft scrape of my teeth on each nipple. She was shifting anxiously against the edge of the vanity, as if she couldn’t decide if she wanted to get closer or pull away.

  I was going to do my best to convince her that closer to me was always the better option.

  I moved the hand that wasn’t holding her in place to the inside of one of her velvety soft thighs. I brushed my thumb along the surface, watching her eyes for any sign she wanted me to stop or back off. Her teeth bit into her bottom lip, and her nails dug painfully into my skin. She looked a little bit excited and slightly curious, as if all of this between us was new and unexplored.

  I traced a zigzag line up the sensitive skin on the inside of her leg, watching as goose bumps lifted across her skin. Her muscles tensed, but when I got to the apex of her thigh, I could tell her body was already warm and welcoming. The secret, sensitive center between her legs was wet and quivering at the slightest contact. Her skin was smooth and silky, but the place I was sinking my searching fingers into was even more so.

  We both let out a low moan at the contact. Presley’s head fell backward and knocked against the mirror. I wanted to ask her if she was okay, but I had my mouth sealed over her rosy nipple and wasn’t about to be deterred from driving her slowly out of her mind with pleasure.

  Her body responded immediately to my touch, quivering and shaking around each stroke. I felt heat and moisture build. I felt the way her body tightened and heard the way her breath caught. One of her hands ended up in my hair, and she pulled each time I slid my thumb along her damp folds in search of that spot I knew would make her forget her name.

  Since she was already bowed back, I licked my way down her breastbone, arrowing straight across her stomach, stopping briefly to tease the tiny indent of her belly button, before moving my mouth to the place where my fingers were playing. I had to get on my knees to get where I was going, not something I did for just anyone. But, if there was anyone deserving to have the world kneel before her, it was Presley Baskin. She’d been through so much and faced it all stoically and solitarily. She might have been the toughest woman I’d come across, and she didn’t even have a clue as to her own power.

  She was special. And I was the lucky bastard who got to show her just how special she was.

  My fingers and mouth moving in tandem, I touched and tasted, stroked and sucked. I did my best to take her apart, her body responding beautifully to every caress and sensation. I could hear her panting above me. I felt her holding on to my head like she would fly away if she loosened her grip. I heard my name said in a bunch of different ways, but my favorite was when she screamed it in surprise as she finally came apart on my tongue. Her body released in a rush, and I wanted to savor every drop.

  She was still quivering and quaking when I pulled away. I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand and leaned forward so I could place a biting kiss on the inside of her creamy thigh. It was a place that no one but me should see, and I got off on the idea of her wearing my mark in such a secret, sensitive place.

  I got to my feet and put my hands on the edge of the vanity near her hips. Her eyes were at half-mast, and she almost looked drunk. I wanted to pat myself on the back for putting that dreamy, satisfied expression on her face.

  “I’m gonna turn the shower off. Why don’t you go lay back down for a little bit, and when you get up, you can start the day all over with a better outlook.”

  I reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face as her brows puckered. She looked at me, gaze full of questions, but instead of letting her ask them, I dropped a hard kiss on her mouth and said, “I told you, I need you to let me take care of you.”

  I was starting to see that there were going to be times when I needed her to take care of me, and times when we needed to take care of each other if we were going to keep going down this road. “I’ve never needed anything like that before. It’s as much a first for me, as relying on someone else is for you.”

  I wanted to believe we had plenty of time ahead of us, so there was no need to rush learning how to be together. She’d had quite a scare not too long ago and didn’t need to process the dramatic shift in our relationship on top of everything else she was dealing with right now.

  Presley looked slightly shellshocked, so I picked her up and carried her back to her bedroom wedding night style. She was getting deep under my skin, and it surprised me more and more how
comfortable I was starting to get having her there.

  Chapter 12

  Presley

  Kody sighed heavily and dropped the side of her fist on the kitchen table sitting between us. She was obviously frustrated, and still looked under the weather. I was more worried about her than about myself at the moment. If I’d known she was going to drop by, I would’ve had time to prepare, and I would have had time to make sure I got rid of Shot before she showed up. But Kody did everything on her own timetable and marched to the beat of her own drummer, so of course she came by to check on me when I was least ready to face her. I tried to stammer some kind of excuse as to why Shot was at my apartment so early in the morning, but Kody simply waved the flustered words away and made herself at home in my sparsely stocked kitchen as Shot slipped out the front door with a promise, or maybe it was a threat, to call me later.

  “I’ve known her since high school. Firing her feels like the right thing to do considering she put you in such a dangerous situation, but I also get that she was terrified of something bad happening to her kids. I don’t know what I would do in a similar situation.”

  She sighed and leaned forward until her forehead was touching the table. “Your former friend is diabolical. She can find anyone’s weakness and exploit it so freaking easy. Case told me the trucker who was supposed to abduct you was being blackmailed by a woman he picked up while he was hauling cargo outside of Houston. It seems he’s been hauling more than goods across the border for some time. The woman had proof of his illegal activity and blackmailed him into coming after you. It’s like she sees everyone as pieces on a chessboard and not as real-life humans who may or may not face the consequences of their actions. She’s really and truly evil.”

  Some of the words were muffled since she was bent over, but I could tell she sounded tired, and some of her usual fire was missing. Without thinking much about it, or overthinking the gesture as I usually would, I reached out a hand and placed it gently on the back of Kody’s head. I patted her like one would a small child and asked quietly, “Is everything okay with you? I know there’s a lot coming at all of us from different directions right now, but you’ve seemed off the last couple of times I’ve seen you. I’m slightly worried about you.”

  I was actually very worried about her but didn’t want to overstep.

  Kody’s head suddenly lifted, her wildly curly hair swirling around her head like a lion’s mane. Her eyes locked onto mine as she grasped the hand I let fall at her quick movement.

  “Can I tell you something?” Her voice hitched a little, almost as if she was torn between being excited about something and equally terrified of it.

  I nodded solemnly. “Of course. You can tell me anything.” And she usually did, without asking for permission, which made this whole conversation a little odd. This entire morning was going in a way I never would have expected or been able to predict. Which I guess was par for the course in my life now.

  “You can’t tell anyone else. Not Case. Not Crew. Definitely not Aspen or Della.” She sighed. “I don’t want anyone to know.”

  I blinked in surprise and turned the hand she was clutching like a lifeline around so she could grip it firmly. “I won’t talk to anyone, Kody. But it seems weird you don’t want anyone in the family to know what’s going on with you.”

  She sighed again and squeezed her eyes shut. “It’s not that I don’t want them to know. It’s more that I need to find the right time to tell everyone.” She gulped loudly and her eyes flicked open. They were shiny with unshed tears and she looked about as nervous as I’d ever seen her. Her fingers locked on mine tightly enough that I had to suppress a flinch of pain. “I’m pregnant.”

  Aspen’s words about there being something to celebrate down the road rang through my head. I returned the death grip on my hand and said, “Congratulations. That’s so exciting. I bet Hill is thrilled.”

  Kody paled and tugged her hand free. “I haven’t exactly told him yet, either.”

  I blinked at her and slumped back in my seat. “Why not?” Anyone who had spent more than a minute in Hill and Kody’s company could tell the quiet, intense Texas Ranger was head over heels for the youngest Lawton. The kind of love that moved mountains and shifted rivers. The man had loved her for a lifetime and would love her beyond. It didn’t make sense that Kody would keep something so huge and special from him.

  Kody put her hands on her cheeks and shook her head vigorously. “For one he’s been out of town on an assignment. He’s always off here or there. Do you have any idea what’s going to happen if I tell him we’re having a kid? He’s going to drop everything in his life and focus only on me and the baby. I love him, but there is such a thing as too much attention and affection.” She lowered her gaze to the top of the table and muttered, “And if I tell him, it’s real. It means I’m really going to be a mother. I’m going to be responsible for another human for the rest of my life. I have no idea how to do that. I’m…scared.”

  I got up from my seat across from her and walked to where she was trembling in her seat. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and gave her a hug, resting my cheek on the top of her unruly hair.

  “It’s okay to be scared. Having a baby is a big deal, and it is a lot of responsibility. I’d be more concerned if you were taking the pregnancy in stride.” It sounded as if, like most things in her chaotic life, the baby wasn’t planned and had thrown her for a loop. Luckily she had a lot of people in her life to support her and show her the way. She already had her village to help her raise her child. Well, she would have them once she told her family what was going on.

  Almost as if she could read my thoughts, she tearfully continued, “It doesn’t seem fair. All Aspen ever wanted was to be a mom. She’s so good with Hayes, and her and Case make such good parents. And Della and Crew are getting married. They both have stable, successful careers. I don’t know if they want kids, but they’re both in a place where they could offer a baby a great life. Hill and I barely reunited. We’re just starting to learn how to live together, how to love one another, and now there’s a baby in the mix. It seems like some kind of cosmic joke.” She gulped loudly and moved her hand so she was holding on to my forearm. “I feel like Aspen might hate me when she finds out. She’s done more to bring our family together and help heal us than anyone. I can’t bear the idea of hurting her.”

  I smoothed a hand down her arm and shushed her. “Aspen won’t hate you. She’s going to be so happy for you. She might be a little sad for herself, but that has nothing to do with you.”

  Aspen had mentioned her struggles with fertility in an offhand manner more than once. She spoke of the complications and heartache she experienced before getting together with Case and inheriting Hayes as her almost-grown son in the process. She always sounded slightly sad when she talked about the past, but the fertility issues were only part of it. Her marriage before her relationship with Case had also been incredibly rocky and complex. There was lingering disappointment that was simply just a part of who Aspen was, the same way the loss of her first love was such a huge part of who Kody was, and the way the unrelenting need to handle things on my own was so much of who I was. It was both the triumphs and the failures, the wins and losses, that shaped who we were.

  Kody sniffed a little, so I let her go and went into the kitchenette to find her something to wipe her face. It was the most she’d let her guard down with me since we’d met, and honestly, it was kind of reassuring to know Kody had the same kind of fears and uncertainties as any other woman. For the longest time, she seemed so much more sure of herself than anyone I’d met. I was confident in my career, and in the knowledge I’d accumulated over the course of my studies and work, but that was the only place where I was one hundred percent certain of myself. Kody seemed to own everything in her life, good or bad. She made no apologies, and I thought that was so refreshing and was slightly envious. I’d never had that kind of freedom.

  I reclaimed my seat across from her and reach
ed for my abandoned coffee. “I’m going to keep this conversation between the two of us, but I have to tell you, the people who care the most about you, see things you might not be aware of them seeing. If you don’t want to tell your brothers and the girls, that’s one thing. However, you need to tell Hill. This is something the two of you are in together from the very start.” I lifted my eyebrows pointedly. After all, she wouldn’t be in her current condition if her relationship with Hill hadn’t progressed as quickly as it had. “Trust him to give you what you need and to be your partner in everything. If he oversteps, let him know, but you also need to listen when he tells you what he needs.”

  She groaned dramatically and smacked her palms down on the table. “Ugh. You’re so reasonable. It’s annoying. Have you ever done anything rash or reckless in your life?”

  She pouted a little bit as I blushed. “Umm, well…” There was no stopping the vivid images of everything I’d done with Shot in my bathroom the previous night. All of that definitely counted as rash and reckless.

  Catching sight of the guilty color in my face, Kody clapped her hands together and laughed, tossing her head back. “Oh yeah. I forgot Shot answered your door this morning.” Her eyebrows winged upward and a crooked grin twisted her lips. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing with him? He’s not some nice, polite college graduate. He’s not a guy who owns a suit and tie. He’s never come across a rule he wasn’t willing to break, and he lives every single day knowing there’s a good chance he’s going to end up in a jail cell or a shallow grave by the end of it.” She cocked her head to the side and asked, “Is he really someone you want to get tangled up with?”

  I huffed out a breath and averted my eyes. “I’m not so sure I have a choice. No matter how hard I try, or what kind of warning I give myself, I can’t seem to stay away from him.” I blinked rapidly, remembering she used to have a much different relationship with Shot than she did now. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t think before I said that.”

 

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