I snorted. “Look where justice got Presley. Revenge would’ve meant she wasn’t fighting for her life right now.”
Case sighed and I heard his fingers tapping on the steering wheel. “I actually owe you an apology. I hate that Presley walked in on you with that woman. I think there are a lot of things wrong with how you live your life and go about your business, but I know you aren’t a disloyal man. I know my sister can trust you. I also know you would never purposely hurt her the way she was hurt today. I think we were short-sighted, and maybe keeping things from her for her own good wasn’t the right call. When she wakes up, when she’s ready to listen, I swear I’ll clear everything up between the two of you. Trust me to fix this.”
I groaned a little as a sharp, stabbing pain lanced through my head. “Right now all I care about is her waking up. The rest can wait.” But I did appreciate what he said. It was almost a compliment.
We lapsed into a heavy silence, worry and helplessness thick in the air around us. It was a battle not to pass out or throw up the entire ride, so I stayed as still as possible and tried not to let my imagination run wild. I couldn’t fathom losing her. I couldn’t picture my life moving forward without her. Even though we hadn’t quite figured out how to fit together seamlessly, I knew if I lost her, there would be a gaping hole in my heart that would never heal.
I must’ve dozed off, which was incredibly dangerous considering I had a complex concussion. When I peeled my eyes open as Case shook my shoulder, I realized we’d traded the sleepy streets of Loveless for the much more hectic pace of Austin. I practically had to crawl out of the car. My head was swimming, and any little movement I made felt like someone was poking my brain with an icepick. Also, the army of stitches holding my temple together had started to itch and tingle. I knew painkillers were off the table because of the head injury, so I was just going to have to tough it out.
Again, I needed to use Case as a crutch until I found a wall to lean against. It was a long, painful walk to the ICU. Once we hit the waiting room the tension was so thick and heavy it was suffocating. Hill was on his feet pacing back and forth like a caged tiger. Della and Aspen were huddled around Kody like a protective shield. Crew was slumped on the floor with his back to the wall, looking every bit as anxious as his little sister. It was easy to see she was the most distraught of the bunch. When she caught sight of me, she got to her feet and rushed over to me. I braced myself for another smack across my face, even though my head was half concealed in white bandages.
Instead, she hit me with the force of a linebacker and wrapped her arms around my waist as she sobbed. I gently put a hand on the back of her head and whispered that everything would be all right.
She lifted her tear-stained face to look at me, and the sorrow in those familiar green eyes hit me in the gut like a punch.
“I’m sorry, Shot. I never think before I act. I should’ve known you wouldn’t cheat on Presley. That’s not who you are. She would’ve never been in that parking lot if it wasn’t for me.” Her sobs shook her whole body. I patted her uselessly on the back and sent Hill a pleading look to help me out.
“It was all a mess, Kody. It was bound to go badly from the start. I should have just been honest with Presley about what we were planning. I was trying to protect her, and instead I led her right into the line of fire. Let’s keep the blame where it belongs, on the bad guys who don’t care about anyone.”
She nodded lightly and rubbed her damp cheeks furiously. I gratefully handed her off to the Texas Ranger when he reached for her. I was looking for a place to sit down before I fell over when a woman in a pair of scrubs suddenly entered the small space where we were gathered.
She offered a kind smile, her eyes skirting over the assembled family and me.
“We rushed the tests through and got a positive result with one probable donor.” She cast a glance at each of the men, pausing when she got to the rodeo star who was pushing to his feet. “Crew Lawton?”
The dark-haired cowboy nodded as Della got to her feet and made her way over to her soon-to-be husband. They locked hands and shared an intense look. “I’m Crew Lawton.”
The doctor nodded and gave him a lopsided smile. “I know. My husband is actually a big fan. He was an amateur rider when he was younger, so he follows the rodeo circuit pretty closely. You are almost a perfect match. There are more tests that need to be done, and you all need to consider that there is a much higher risk of the body rejecting the transplant when it is a male-to-female donor situation, but as of now, you are the best bet we have. If we expand the search, the chances of finding someone else with as many matching antigens is highly unlikely.” Her smile turned soft and kind. “This is a big decision and highly risky on your part. Not to mention it may directly affect your career. Please think things over very carefully before you decide what you want to do. We’ve got Ms. Baskin as stable as possible for the moment.”
The doctor spoke some more about dialysis and what they could do to keep Presley stable while they waited on the transplant.
When she finished, Crew didn’t even hesitate to step forward and rasp, “I’m doing it. I don’t care about the risks. If I’m a match, I’m doing it. I’m not going to let my sister die if there’s something I can do about it.”
Della immediately burst into tears and threw her arms around his neck. Aspen and Kody followed suit, and soon he was wrapped up in a group hug, surrounded by sobbing women. Both Case and Hill had tears in their eyes as well. It was actually kind of beautiful to see.
Presley had mentioned that Crew was the one slowest to welcome her to the family, that he was the one who still kept his distance. It looked like all those walls had dropped now.
Family was family in a crisis, and the Lawtons always stepped the hell up.
If my head hadn’t been broken I more than likely would’ve had wet eyes right alongside them.
The doctor mentioned she would send a specialist in to speak with Crew and get the ball rolling. She also warned that the process had just started, and nothing was going to happen overnight. She indicated that not only was Presley going to need everyone to stay strong and healthy, but now, so was Crew.
When she went to walk past me, I reached out and caught her arm. She took one look at my bruised and battered face, and clicked her tongue. “You aren’t supposed to be out of bed, are you?”
I grimaced and muttered a quiet no. She shook her head at me and asked, “Are you the boyfriend?”
I dropped my chin in acknowledgment since I was pretty sure nodding would actually kill me. “I am. How did you know?”
She hooked a thumb in the direction of the rest of the family gathered in the room. “They told me you were coming. They also said you were going to be the game changer. Ms. Baskin needs to fight. They told me you’d be the one to remind her she’s a fighter.”
I gulped, hard. Emotion clogged my throat, and those tears I was so sure I couldn’t produce burned at the back of my eyes.
“Can I see her?” Even if she said no, I was going to make it happen. It would take an army to keep me away from her.
“Yes. But just for a few minutes. She has a very serious concussion as well. She hasn’t woken up yet, but we’re hopeful it will be soon. She’s got a whole legion of different specialists in and out of the room at the moment, so just try and keep out of the way.”
I nodded and immediately regretted it. However, I didn’t complain. I just silently followed the doctor to Presley’s room, nearly collapsing when I saw her in the hospital bed.
She had tubes and wires all over the place.
Her head was wrapped up in a manner similar to mine.
Her skin was a sickly grayish color, and the pretty red in her hair looked dull and flat.
She was so still and quiet. I hated it.
Now I was crying without a doubt. For the first time in a long time, there was no stopping the flood of emotion leaking out of my eyes. My heart hurt even worse than my head.
I stumbled to her sid
e, picking up one of her hands like it was made of glass, so I didn’t disturb all the medical equipment taped to the back of it. I ran my thumb over the faint thrum of her pulse and closed my eyes so I could ask whatever heavenly body I hadn’t pissed off or forsaken to grant me a miracle.
I reached out and ran my index finger over the arch of one eyebrow that was exposed. She felt cold, and I swore I would do whatever I had to do to keep her with me.
If I had to pick her or the club, in that instant, I knew it would be her, hands down. I could do what my father had never been able to do and put family first. I just hoped it would be enough to convince her to stay with me.
I brought her fingers up to my face and put them against my cheek.
“You still owe me a favor, Presley. You can’t leave a debt like that hanging.” My voice cracked, and my entire chest felt like it was being crushed under an immense amount of pressure. “Please wake up. Please don’t leave me. I’m asking you to pull through this because I’m pretty sure you love me, and I’m damn sure I’m in love with you.” I closed my eyes and whispered, “Open your eyes so we can teach each other how to be in love.”
She stayed still and remained cold to the touch, but I swore I saw her eyelids flutter.
The response wasn’t much, but it was enough to give me hope, and I was going to hold on to that with everything I had.
Chapter 22
Presley
I knew I was alive because everything hurt.
Head to toe I felt like I was engulfed in flames of agony.
It was pretty jarring to go from nothing, an absolute void, to being awake and feverishly wishing for the darkness to come back so I could get a reprieve from the pain. While I was out, there hadn’t been any kind of epiphany moment. No disembodied voices pulling me back. No vision of my mother telling me my time wasn’t up. It should’ve been disconcerting, but it hadn’t been. It’d been peaceful, and I missed the moments where I didn’t feel like I was tangled up in a torment that wouldn’t end.
There was a swarm of doctors and nurses fluttering around every time I opened my eyes. I was pretty sure Shot was there as well. I could smell the hint of leather in the room. It was comforting, but I was in no shape to have a conversation with him, or anyone. I was sure Kody had been standing by to hold my hand and to answer the doctors’ questions on my behalf when it was too hard to open my eyes. I had a vague recollection of seeing her worried face hovering over me, and I distinctly recalled her whispering that Ashby would no longer be a problem for any of us, leading my sluggish thoughts to figure my former friend was the one who shot me, not the man with all the scars. But mostly, I couldn’t focus on anything other than taking my next breath through the fog of painkillers and constant discomfort. When they said the struggle was real, this was what they had to mean by it.
I knew I’d undergone not one but two major surgeries. One resulting from the bullet I’d taken in the back when Ashby shot me, the other a kidney transplant I’d needed to save my life. I also knew the reason I’d been unconscious for more than a week was because I’d been winged by a bullet flying past my head and ended up with a concussion. In order to prevent edema from getting any worse, the doctors had decided a medically induced coma while they tried to keep me alive was my best bet if I wanted a full recovery. It was a lot to take in, and I was glad Kody had taken on the role of speaking for me and to me when I was unable to communicate.
It was also all so overwhelming there was no time or space to invest my limited energy in wondering and worrying about why Shot was in that motel room with Ashby. Now that I knew who the other woman was, the sense of betrayal and abandonment had all but dissipated. Even with my brain rattled and my body barely hanging on, I knew he wouldn’t have been in that room with her without a solid reason.
It was several days later when I could finally keep my eyes open for more than a few minutes at a time and felt like I could move my limbs without wanting to throw up from the pain motion caused. There was still a fleet of medical personnel in and out of my room, but today there was also a very handsome man with dark hair and a concerned expression on his face parked next to my bed. I knew Crew was the one who donated the kidney that saved my life, but seeing the athletic and typically hearty man move slowly and carefully really drove home that he’d risked his life and career for me.
Faced with his sacrifice, I wanted to sob, felt the way my body fought to shake and quiver. However, I was still totally battered, so all I was capable of was silent tears and a whispered, “Thank you.”
Crew had been the least welcoming. He was the one who still had suspicions about my intent toward my new family. And yet he’d saved my life because at the end of the day, we were family.
The charming rodeo rider gave me a lopsided grin and put a hand to his side where I knew we would eventually have a pair of matching surgical scars.
“It’s rare to really get a second chance. I got one, so I know how special it is. Make sure you don’t waste yours, Presley. Let’s be sure we live well and take care of each other going forward. Family first from here on out.” When he grinned at me I heard a nurse sigh, and if I’d been able to, I would’ve returned his smile.
I barely got the words “Family first” out to agree with him, when it all got too much. I closed my eyes to get my composure back under control and must’ve fallen asleep. When I opened them again, my other brother was in the room, and I could tell from a crack in the blinds over the window that it was starting to get dark.
Case looked ten times worse than Crew did, even though the younger one had just been through major surgery. His usual scruff was reaching actual beard stage, and his already silvery and black hair looked like there was more white threaded throughout. His eyes appeared tired, and there was no missing the dark circles underneath. His face looked slightly gaunt, and the deep grooves that fanned out from the corners of his eyes seemed even more pronounced than usual. Case was always ruggedly handsome and never really looked his age, but sitting slumped in an uncomfortable-looking chair next to my hospital bed, he looked every year he’d had to weather and win.
I must have made a sound alerting him to the fact I was now awake. Watching him, it was apparent he hadn’t slept much and was stumbling over his own feet. He stopped at the side of my bed, and I was surprised enough to jolt slightly when he reached out and put one of his big, scarred hands over mine, being careful of the tubes and wires connected to the back. His touch was warm, but there was no mistaking the faint tremor in his fingers. Case was usually so stoic and so good at keeping himself contained. We were similar that way, so I knew that tiny quake was an indication there was an actual landslide of feelings happening inside the man.
“I sent Shot home.” His words were extra raspy and his bright blue eyes shone with regret. “He’s been by your side since the beginning. He isn’t eating. I don’t think he’s slept more than a few hours. His club was threatening to storm the hospital if they didn’t get proof of life, so I made him leave. It wasn’t easy.” Case sighed and softly squeezed his hand around mine. “He’ll be back.”
I blinked in surprise, because it hadn’t crossed my mind to wonder if Shot had stayed by my side or not. I knew he’d been in the room while I was unconscious, because like always, that scent of leather and sunshine lingered behind him wherever he went. I didn’t understand why Case was so adamant I didn’t doubt the man I knew he’d warned away from me.
Case pulled his hand away from mine and curled it around the rail of the hospital bed. His knuckles turned white as he clenched his fingers around the surface.
“I owe both of you an apology. I was the one who asked Shot to draw Ashby Grant out into the open. I was the one who urged him to keep the plan a secret from you. He wasn’t with her because he wanted to be. He didn’t have a choice.” Case shook his head and sighed heavily once more. “If it had been up to Shot, Ashby would’ve disappeared from all our lives for good with no one being the wiser. He played by my rules because I
convinced him it was better for you. I told him it would be best if she confessed to being involved in your mother’s murder and if she confessed to screwing with your cases to cost you the promotion. I was the one who wanted you out of the way so my plan could work. So I’m the one who left you unaware Ashby was back and close enough to harm you. I fucked up. It wasn’t Shot.”
He sounded so remorseful and looked so devastated, my heart broke for him.
He was blaming himself for everything that had happened. I knew those feelings intimately. I’d drowned in blame when Ashby murdered our father because she wanted to hurt me. I let the guilt bury me when she burned their childhood home to the ground in an effort to further divide us. So while his plan had been flawed, the only person who was responsible for me being in my current state was my former friend.
It took a lot of effort and all the energy I had to reach up and put one of my hands over his. The tension in him was so tight that it felt like he might shatter at the slightest touch.
“Don’t blame anyone…but Ashby, and that man.” I awkwardly tried to pat his hand. “If Shot went along with your plan, he must’ve seen some truth in what you were saying. He doesn’t blindly follow anyone. I was in the wrong place at the right time. It couldn’t be helped.”
It was a lot of words at once after I hadn’t said anything in days. My throat was dry, and getting my tongue to work the way it should took some work. But it was important that Case didn’t carry around the weight of what Ashby did any longer.
“Things went awry, but if I hadn’t needed surgery, who knows when I would have found out disease was eating away at my kidneys. I felt fine but I was slowly dying. Getting shot might’ve saved my life. Things worked out the way they were supposed to, Case. You did what you did to protect me. I’ve never had a big brother before, but it seems like that’s what you’re supposed to do. I’m not mad at you and I’m not mad at Shot.” Almost dying put things in perspective.
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