The club was his family, and thereby had started to become an extension of mine.
Shot and I agreed that it was better for me to keep my distance from the clubhouse unless there was an emergency. However, I’d had to close more than one bullet wound since Stitch was getting older and less able as the tasks the club took on grew more and more varied and dangerous. He was still the club’s first choice to fix them up, but when the injuries were really serious, like life or death, they knew they could call me. I couldn’t say no, even though I knew I should, which meant I’d earned my stripes as far as the rest of the club members were concerned, even Top. Those who questioned why Shot was with me, or if I was a good fit for his lifestyle, were silenced once they saw how beneficial I could be. And I think Top finally realized that I loved his best friend so I would do my best to protect him, which meant keeping secrets that weren’t mine to share, and accepting that what I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me.
Another thing I liked about having property and a place of my own was that I now had room for a dog. I hadn’t committed to bringing one home yet, but it was on my to-do list. I wanted to wait until more of the renovations were done. I was finally settling in somewhere that felt like it wasn’t going to go anywhere. I felt like I could finally plant some roots and I was excited to see what was going to grow.
I also had room for family. I could host holiday dinners and weekend barbeques, taking some of the pressure off of Aspen, who was normally the one making room for everyone. I’d never had to cook or plan an event for the family before, but I was excited to take on the task. It made me feel connected to the Lawtons in an all-new way. There was no more keeping them at arm’s length and treading carefully. After Crew risked his life and his livelihood for me, I could no longer pretend like I would be okay if they were suddenly yanked away from me. I loved them all and could feel that they loved me. We were all still learning about each other, but it was the best education I’d ever received.
Crew and I had instantly bonded much tighter than we had been prior to the transplant. I literally had a piece of him inside me, keeping me alive. There would never be a big enough way I could show him my gratitude; luckily he was pretty selfless about the whole thing. I often teased him that it was having some of his wildness inside of me that made it possible for me to handle being with Shot. The biker and the rodeo rider were cut from very similar fabric, and now that the two had spent some time together, they got along pretty well. They weren’t exactly friends, but they were something close to it, which made the big gatherings less stressful. Case and Hill still watched Shot like a hawk, but there was a level of begrudging respect, and relief that everyone was alive and well, that permeated through any animosity these days.
We were family—a dysfunctional one, but a family nonetheless.
When the backs of Shot’s legs hit the side of the bed, I gave him a little push until he fell over onto his back. I brushed some of the white dust out of his black hair and dragged the tip of my finger down the bridge of his nose and across his lips. I traced an outline around his mouth and grinned when his dark eyebrows danced upward. He wasn’t the only one who could take initiative, at least not anymore. He taught me how to be bold and to be fearless. He taught me to see all those things he loved about me on a regular basis, and I did my best to put them into action.
He stacked his tattooed hands behind his head and watched me with unreadable obsidian eyes as I reached for the hem of his T-shirt. I admired the delineated lines of his cut abs and the sharp V on either side of his hips. I took in the designs marked onto his skin, which I had memorized with my mouth and hands. He had added some new ink since I’d been released from the hospital. He had a guardian angel on his ribs and a single heartbeat across the side of his neck. He said it was the same beat that registered when I finally opened my eyes after being unconscious. I appreciated the raised scars on his flesh that reminded me how lucky I was to have him, and I knew I would never squander a single minute of being with him because he could be taken away any second of any day.
“Aren’t you going to be late picking up Kody?” The question was asked in a gruff tone as I moved my hands to the buckle of his belt and started working the leather free. I could feel that he was already hard and see the way his muscles had tensed in anticipation.
“She won’t mind if I’m a little late.” In fact, she would probably appreciate it. “She understands I’m all about seizing the moment.”
I was going to seize more than the moment as soon as I got his pants and boxer-briefs off. I tugged at the fabric that was in my way, urging him to lift his hips so I could slide everything down his thighs. His ruddy erection pointed upward, already looking slick across the smooth head. I stuck my tongue out to lick across my suddenly dry lips and heard Shot groan in response. Swallowing back a laugh, I leaned forward so I could drop a kiss on his mouth. He tasted like coffee and cream. Sweet and bitter, which was a perfect representation of him. I kissed him again, this time flicking my tongue against his until both our lips were wet and slippery.
When I pulled back he groaned his complaint, only the sound quickly shifted to a gasp when I started to kiss my way down the center of his body. I dragged my teeth over his Adam’s apple and stopped to circle each of his flat nipples with my tongue. I licked my way down his tattooed chest and across the rock-hard plane of his stomach muscles. I let the tip of my tongue dip into the indent of his belly button and tickled the fine hairs of his happy trail with my fingertips. By the time I reached my destination, I could practically feel the way his cock was throbbing and when I circled the hefty length with my hand, I felt it kick in response to the light touch.
Shot swore softly when I lapped at the already damp head. He shifted so he could clutch at my hair when I started to circle my tongue around the leaking slit as I lightly squeezed the wide base. I knew what he liked now, knew that he liked things both soft and hard. The dual sensations always seemed to make him lose his mind. I traced along the heavy vein on the underside of the rigid flesh and grinned at the wet kiss of the tip against my cheek. I always felt so powerful, so desired and loved, when I knew he was responding to me as strongly as I always responded to him.
I took him into my mouth, sliding my mouth down as far as I could without gagging. I found a comfortable rhythm, bobbing my head up and down as his big, strong body writhed underneath my hands and mouth. I sucked until my cheeks hollowed and his entire length was wet and slippery. I could tell he was getting close to completion when he started pulling my hair and when his hips lifted haphazardly from the bed.
It was music to my ears when he moaned my name and I couldn’t tell if he was begging me to stop or urging me to keep going. I pulled off of him with a sexy pop and got to my feet, so I was standing between his legs. He looked like some kind of ancient warrior, lying there, waiting there to be serviced and satisfied. When he reached for me, I shimmied out of his grasp so I could lift the hem of my dress up and slid my fancy, lacy panties down my legs.
Shot gave me a quizzical look when I climbed on the bed and hovered over him, my legs on either side of his hips. The silver dress slithered across my skin and pooled in a silky puddle around where I was braced over him. There was something undeniably sexy about having him under me, completely naked and exposed, while I was still mostly covered up.
I put a hand on the center of his chest as I reached the other one between our bodies. I let out a little moan when I dragged the tip of his erection through my already wet folds and felt it nudge and press against all the right places.
Shot chuckled and I felt the vibration blast through all of my nerve endings. “If you aren’t careful, you’re going to have to change your dress before you go.” Sex with him could be soft and sweet, but it could also be rough and messy. I liked both variations, as long as he was the one I was with.
“I have another dress.” What I didn’t have was the patience to worry about ruining this one if I got a little too into the moment. I lik
ed it when things got a little messy and we had to clean everything up afterward.
Shot’s big hands locked onto my hips in an almost punishing hold. He lifted me up a little bit, reminding me just how strong and forceful he could be. The material of my dress slid across my skin, which was an unexpectedly erotic kind of caress. The heat and hardness of his hands clashed with the soft, slippery material. The contrasting sensations had my skin feeling like it was on fire as my blood blazed underneath.
He lifted his hips in a powerful upward thrust just as I started to sink down onto his waiting shaft. He instantly went as deep as he possibly could, filling me up and spreading heat throughout my body. I gasped at the sharp pleasure and curled my hands into fists where they rested on his broad chest. I rocked forward and rotated my hips as I sank back down.
Shot’s long eyelashes fluttered and his fingers dug even deeper into my hips. His eyes watched my every little expression as I started to ride him in earnest. Spending all that time on the back of his bike once we’d gotten our relationship back on track had proven beneficial. I’d learned to move with him instinctively, with a rhythm that was bound to make us both lose our minds.
One of his hands snaked under my dress and found my own raised scar. He always touched it, traced it, caressed it. I thought it might be his favorite part of my body because that scar meant I was still here. It meant I could fight with him. I could ride with him. And it meant I could love him. He always mentioned he would’ve loved me forever even if I hadn’t pulled through the extensive operations I needed to save my life, but because of the transplant I was here to love him back.
The room filled with the sensual sounds of our heavy breathing, and the sounds of our bodies rocking together. I moaned his name and felt my insides clench tightly around him when his hips suddenly kicked upward. His eyes drifted closed as a rush of heat unfurled inside of me. I felt every throb and pulse of his cock as his body went lax with pleasure and satisfaction. Before I could form a coherent thought, his hand skated across my overly sensitive skin and dipped between my legs. His fingers unerringly found that tiny, hidden spot that was sure to set me off. It only took a slight touch, a tiny little circle, before I followed him over the edge.
I sighed and leaned forward so I could rest my forehead against his. We were both a little sweaty and I’d left lipstick smeared all over him, but we’d never looked or felt better, I was sure of it.
One of Shot’s hands lifted and cupped the back of my head. His lips touched mine in the lightest of kisses and he whispered, “Do me a favor. Don’t let any of those pretty boys touch you tonight. Don’t let them grind on you or get close enough to breathe on you. No one is allowed to put their hands on the woman I love. I might lose my mind if I think about it too much and if I do that…”
I let out a little sound of annoyance. “If you do that then you’ll send your boys to break up the party and no one will leave happy.”
He chuckled but had the good grace to look sheepish. “Probably.”
I shifted so I could drop a kiss on the tip of his nose. “You’ll owe me one.”
He smoothed his hand up my back and pulled me down so I was wrapped in his arms. “Good thing I have the rest of my life to make good.”
He made good every single day. And he made every single day good.
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Author’s Note
Hi all!
I hope you enjoyed this wild ride through Loveless. It was a blast, wasn’t it?!
I just wanted to take a moment and share some fun little tidbits with you about the Sons of Sorrow and some of the locations alluded to throughout the series.
First of all, as some of you may know, the Sons of Sorrow were introduced in my Marked Men series back in 2013. Shot’s dad, Torch, plays a key part in my book Rome. It was interesting to learn a little bit more about the man who made Shot who he was. And since the club was based in Colorado, it’s loosely based off of the Sons of Silence. I’m pretty sure I have mentioned that before as well.
Second, do you have any idea how hard it is to write a book with a biker and a club, and not have all those bad boys and their hijinks take over the whole book!? It’s real hard…LOL. I never planned on writing a motorcycle club book. I love to read them, but I know very little about the actual lifestyle and frankly didn’t have time to become a biker babe myself. At its core, Blacklisted is a book about two people who are on the outside of life, the world, their families, society…each really finding their niche and place where they thrive, and then finding the person who completes them without forcing them to change. I still wanted this book to be mostly about family and friends, with a lot of romance and a splash of suspense. And I still wanted it to have that cozy and warm small-town feel…the bikers were just a bonus. It was a delicate balance I hope I achieved.
Third, Loveless and Ivy are made up. But they could honestly be any of the tiny towns that sprawl out past Austin toward Lake Travis and between Austin and New Braunfels. And when I’m talking about the bar with the tin roof where the skinheads are, I am totally picturing the Chupacabras’ clubhouse in Jonestown on the way to the lake. I think it’s shut down now, but it’s exactly the kind of sketchy bar/building I described.
Also, I am aware that the timeline from finding out about Presley’s illness after she gets shot, to the medical testing is very rushed and not realistic in the slightest. But sometimes a writer has to take liberties with fact to make the fiction flow. It really would’ve slowed the story and the buildup of such a critical point to have everyone wait around for days and even weeks for the results. So, I sincerely apologize to those who are sticklers for exact details and hope you can understand where I’m coming from on the creative side. Hopefully you’re so invested in what’s happening on the page, there’s no place for boring reality to be a burden!
Acknowledgments
This is where I shamelessly beg and plead with you to drop a short review of Blacklisted. Good, bad, or ugly…any review is so, so helpful to a new release and to the author. Your review is far more likely to attract a new reader than anything I say or do! Please help a gal out.
If you’ve read any of my books, or if you’re new to me and Blacklisted is a first, I’m sure you can tell how much I love an opposites-attract story line. There is just something really special and extra interesting about bringing together two people/characters who shouldn’t work. Finding the beauty and appreciation in those differences is my favorite. It was also really fun to write two people who don’t really relate well. I’m writing this with Valentine’s Day right around the corner, and I have to say, I so feel Presley and her resistance to romance and relationships. That’s never been my thing, either, and it would take someone really special and dynamic, like Shot, to get me to change my viewpoint.
As always, a huge shoutout to anyone who blogged about, posted about, talked about, and shared Blacklisted and the rest of the Loveless series. The heart and soul, and ultimate success, of any book is in your hands. I sincerely appreciate every single person who helps give one of my stories life and love. You da best.
The Loveless series has brought so many new readers into the fold, so I just want to say, “Welcome to the Crowd!” We’re chaotic and crazy like the Lawtons, badass like the bikers, and almost all of us have HUGE hearts. Thanks so much for being here and allowing me to chase every dream I’ve ever had.
A huge thanks to the girl gang that surrounds me and helps me be a better version of myself. I’m a better Jay and a much better writer because of all the women in my life. Shout-out to my new editor, Madeleine. It’s not easy to jump into an existing series and to tackle a hero the readers have been dying to know more about, but Madeleine dived in headfirst and fearlessly. She was easy to work with, and she really did make Shot shine. My agent, Stacey, who is a real-life superwoman. My friend/assistant
, Jill of all trades, Mel. My publicist, Jessica. And my kickass beta team who still stick around even though they know how ugly and terrible my rough drafts tend to be. Any part of the story you love, they made it 1,000 percent better! Thanks for being rad and super-duper helpful Sarah, Pam, and Alexandra. Honestly, don’t know what I would do without you ladies.
Until next time! If you are interested in keeping up with me these are all the places you can find me on the web. I strongly suggest joining my reader group on Facebook and following me on Bookbub. Those are the best places for updates!
Bookbub: bookbub.com/authors/jay-crownover
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When a rugged sheriff discovers secrets from the past, he’s forced to protect the woman who was once his sworn enemy.
Case Lawton comes from a family of criminals. So as the sheriff of Loveless, Texas, he’s determined to do everything by the book—until he’s called to Aspen Barlow’s office after a so-called break-in. The last thing he wants to do is help the woman who cost him custody of his son. But Aspen isn’t the heartless lawyer Case remembers, and he starts to question his long-held grudge…
Aspen is scared for her life, and Case is her last hope for protection. But to get him on her side, she’ll have to reveal the painful truth from all those years ago. Now, as they work together to track down a dangerous criminal, Case and Aspen learn to trust each other. And as the threats escalate, it becomes clear there’s a thin line between love and hate…because there’s nothing Case wouldn’t do to keep her safe.
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