“This sure ain’t Oklahoma City,” Jade whispered.
“What? And don’t say ‘ain’t.’” Madeline pulled her car in at the side of the house.
“Nothing. And I’m sorry.” Jade already had her door open. “I bet he’s still sleeping.”
“No, he isn’t. I saw him walk out of the barn.”
“Oh, okay.” Jade slammed the door of the Buick and ran toward the big barn.
Madeline waited. And she worried. What happened to a girl when she thought she’d found a fairy-tale parent who would make everything right, and then found herself let down? Heartache? Madeline remembered a father, but he hadn’t been her real father. She blocked the memory because too many other memories chased after it. Yesterday she’d gotten a card from her mother. Her mother always managed to find her. Madeline couldn’t run far enough or fast enough to outrun Marjorie. She would never escape the past.
She never answered the cards or letters. Usually she moved and hoped it would be the last time. No matter how much Marjorie apologized or said she wouldn’t hurt her, that she just wanted a chance to talk, Madeline couldn’t believe.
The one person she wanted to see had disappeared off the face of the earth. She’d searched for her sister the way Jade had searched for Jackson. She hadn’t found Sara. Maybe she had married. Or changed her name. Madeline had been given that option years ago, to change her name.
But she was Madeline Patton. She didn’t know how to be anyone else. She’d always felt as if she had to face this life, not change her name and become someone else. Not that it hadn’t occurred to her. Not that she didn’t think a change of name would be a great way to start over.
“Come on!” Jade had raced ahead but she turned back, hugging her new coat to herself.
Madeline nodded and smiled. She followed at a slower pace, not quite as excited about spending the day with Jackson. Dealing with him. It exhausted her just thinking about it. He had too much energy and twice as much charm.
“You coming?” Jade headed her way. The dog ran out of the barn and caught up with her, nipping at her pant legs.
“I’m not going to run.”
“You’re walking too slow. We’re going to get a Christmas tree.” Jade reached for her hand.
“I know and it’s twenty degrees out here.”
“Right, that makes it more like Christmas.”
Jackson walked out of the barn, smiling and waving when he saw them. “I have everything we need in the truck. I’ll get it.”
“Coffee?” Madeline shivered inside her coat. When she looked up, met his gaze, he smiled. And then he let his gaze drop.
“Where’s the schoolteacher?” He winked at Jade.
“What does that mean?” Madeline looked down at herself and then up at him.
He moved his hands in circles. “You’re in jeans. And you’re not wearing your glasses.”
Jade laughed, loud and silly. “I did it. I talked her into wearing jeans and putting in the contacts she never wears. You can’t chop down a Christmas tree in a skirt.”
“I see.” Jackson took a step closer. “Not a bad change, Maddie. Not bad at all.”
“It’s jeans and contact lenses.” She shot him a look and he raised both hands in surrender, his smile fading. She pulled her heavy coat a little closer. “And my name’s Madeline.”
“You’re right, it’s just jeans and a new coat. People change clothes every day.”
Jade raced into the barn. A second later she ran back out, her face beaming. “It’s a wagon, Madeline, a real wagon.”
The pumpkin will be your coach, Cinderella. Make sure you’re home by midnight.
She grimaced and pushed fairy tales from her mind as she walked into the barn to see what had Jade jumping up and down this time. The girl went from defiant and strong-willed to giddy in the blink of an eye.
Maybe changing with the ease of a chameleon was a Cooper trait and the girl had gotten it from Jackson. Hazel eyes, blond hair and the ability to shake off pain and become someone else.
As they walked through the open double doors of the barn, Jackson touched her arm, his hand cupping her elbow. “It’s a Cooper tradition. I know we aren’t going with the family, but I thought we should do this the right way.”
A buckboard wagon pulled by two honey-colored horses stood in the wide center aisle of the barn. The harness jangled as the two large animals nodded their heads up and down, chewing on the metal bits in their mouths.
“I told you.” Jade ran to the back and started to climb in. The dog jumped around her feet, happy, it seemed, to have someone in his life who could be easily excited.
“Climb in.” Jackson led her to the front of the wagon, indicating with a nod the little step and a handle on the side of the wagon.
“We’re really going off into the field in a wagon.”
“We really are.” He put a hand on her waist.
Her hand froze in midair, inches short of the handle as his touch lingered. She closed her eyes and exhaled. Pleasure and fear mixed like some crazy concoction that made her brain fuzzy and her heart ache.
The woman in her wanted to know that someone could find her attractive, someone could see how special she was. Someone could want to love her. She wanted to believe someone could melt her heart and make her feel whole.
She wasn’t sweet sixteen and never been kissed. She was twenty-eight, and in the arms of a man she’d never felt more than distance and the wild urge to escape.
The child in her, that little girl that had hidden in closets and tried to run, wanted to escape because this man shook her heart, and because another man had made her feel dirty to the depth of her soul.
And it had taken years of counseling to get past that pain.
It had taken a faith that renewed and taught forgiveness to get her past the hatred. She still needed to work on the part of the plan that said she could love herself.
She had never let a man inside her heart because she’d never wanted to feel that pain again. She never wanted to be betrayed again.
Jackson stood behind her, his hand still light on her waist. Jade laughed and played with the dog, unaware. Jackson stepped closer.
“I’m just helping you in the wagon, Maddie.”
She nodded and his hand moved to her back as she stepped up and into the wagon. As she settled into the seat he led the horses from the barn. She ducked as they went through the door, but there wasn’t really a need. In the back, Jade had settled under a blanket with Bud the dog.
Jackson, stern in a way she’d never seen him, tipped his hat to her and then walked around and climbed up next to her. They didn’t speak as the wagon started on a worn trail toward an already open gate.
He had nothing to say and her heart seemed to be tripping all over itself, trying to catch up with twenty-eight years of emotions and new revelations about herself.
She folded her hands in her lap as the wagon bumped and jostled along the trail. No cattle or horses grazed in the field they were traveling through. The winter morning was cold and quiet. Even Jade seemed to be too excited to talk. For once.
Madeline found herself wanting to talk nonstop. For once. Talking would be easier than the silence, easier than delving into that moment back in the barn. A moment when she’d wondered what it would be like to turn into his arms, to be held by him.
She nearly laughed at that thought. What would Jackson Cooper do if a church mouse like her threw herself at him? A smile crept across her face. He’d die of shock. He’d run for his life.
He surely wouldn’t know what to do.
Not that women didn’t pursue him. But Madeline Patton in pursuit would probably scare ten years off his life. It scared ten years off hers just thinking about it.
“Here we go.” Jackson pulled the team up and set the handbrake on the wagon. Jade hurried to stand, wobbling and grabbing the back of the bench seat he and Madeline were sitting on.
“What are you two waiting for?” She hopped over the
side, the dog, Bud, jumping after her.
“We’re coming.” Jackson glanced at the woman next to him. She’d been quiet the whole trip out. Not that fifteen minutes of silence was impossible for a woman, but he thought her silence said everything she wasn’t willing to say.
He wasn’t about to push his way into her life, to tell her she didn’t have to be afraid, that he wouldn’t hurt her.
He had hurt women, not intentionally, but because he hadn’t ever been the guy that wanted to take a few dates and turn them into something more. Yeah, she was smart to keep her distance from someone like him.
But if he was going to have a cup of tea…
Crazy thought. He wasn’t a tea-drinking man.
“We should get down.” He said it smooth and easy, as if he hadn’t just been having thoughts that shook him from his comfort zone.
Last summer he’d teased Wyatt Johnson about Rachel Waters, telling Wyatt that the woman would get under his skin. And he’d been right. They were married now and as happy as any two people could be.
He knew better than to let a woman get under his skin. Even one as sweet as Madeline Patton, with her quiet ways and soft smiles.
She looked up at him; her mouth opened as if she meant to say something. Probably something he didn’t want to hear. He didn’t think she would be the type to call a man names, but he’d been called a few in his life.
“Thank you.”
That was it. And he didn’t even know why she was thanking him. Before he could question her she hopped down out of the wagon and walked away. Her new coat was brick red. It was a crazy combination with her brown hair hanging loose and the wind blowing it around her face. Her boots left tiny prints in the light dusting of snow. She turned to look back at him, catching her hair back from her face with her hand.
“You going to join us?”
Yeah, he was joining them. He stepped down out of the wagon, landing with a jolt that shot through his pancreas or something. He took a deep breath and whistled as he exhaled.
“You okay?” Madeline called back.
“Yeah, I’m good.” Great. Wonderful. Happy.
He grabbed the chain saw out of the back of the wagon and followed the two ladies on a merry chase for the “perfect” tree.
“You know there isn’t a perfect tree, right?” He trudged along behind them, smiling a little as they circled a tree close to twelve feet high.
“What do you call this?” Jade turned and then she started singing, “Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree.”
“I call this too big for my house.” He walked on and they followed after him.
“Scrooge,” Madeline whispered as she moved past him.
“You’d better believe it.” He snorted and she laughed. And he wondered if she realized how much fun she was having. “So how’d it go last night?”
She stopped and her gaze remained on Jade who had skipped away with the dog to survey a tree she’d seen and it had to be the one.
“She’s a mess.” Madeline smiled and started walking again. “And now my house is a mess. I think you need a turn at the trail of clothes, water on the bathroom floor and dishes on the counter.”
“And deny you the pleasure?”
She sighed and didn’t laugh. “Seriously, Jackson, her mom has to be out there somewhere. We can’t keep her here forever.”
“I know that. I’ve got someone working on it. I’ll find her.”
“And then what?” Madeline looked up at him, her brown eyes locking with his. “Send her back? What if it isn’t a safe situation? What if…”
Jackson got it. “What if you get attached and can’t stand to let her go?”
Madeline shrugged. “She’s heading back.”
“Right, of course. And you’re very good at skipping out on answering questions.”
“What, are you going to tell me you won’t get attached? Or that you won’t worry? I know relationships are easy for you. Are they that easy to walk away from?”
Jackson stopped, stunned, and more than a little mad. “That’s a great assessment from someone who doesn’t really know me.”
“I’m sorry.” She reached for his arm. “That was unfair.”
“A little.” Not too much. The old saying that the truth hurt might have worked for this situation. Not that he planned on telling her that bit of information.
“This is it!” Jade pointed to the biggest cedar on the place. It had to be twenty feet. “It’s perfect.”
“Really? Perfect for what, the White House? Let’s see if we can’t find something a little smaller.”
She did the teenage eye roll and walked on. He didn’t have a single parenting bone in his body. He was a fraud. The only thing he knew to do was mimic things he’d heard his dad say over the years.
“What about this one?” Madeline pointed to a medium-size tree.
“Hmm, yes, it’s good. It isn’t very full. It doesn’t have huge open gaps.” Jade walked around the tree. “Yes, this is good. And we need one for Madeline’s.”
“No, we don’t have to do that.” Madeline shot him a look.
He remembered his sister Mia, when someone would offer her something that she thought was too much and she didn’t want to be a bother. He smiled at the memory.
“Of course you need a tree.” A kid in his life for twenty-four hours and he’d suddenly turned into his dad.
Maybe he’d wake up and this would be a dream. Or a strange version of It’s a Wonderful Life. This was his world invaded by domesticity. He could almost hear the angel, Clarence, telling him that his life would be better with a family. Without them his home was empty, quiet.
Now how was peace and quiet such a bad thing?
“I really don’t need one.” Madeline had already spotted one. He knew it the minute she smiled.
“That one, right there. The small one?”
She nodded and smiled at him. “Please.”
“You got it, Maddie.”
She didn’t correct him this time.
He left the chain saw on the ground and picked up the handsaw he’d brought. It would take about five minutes to cut through the trunk of a little bitty cedar. The part he’d forgotten about was the kneeling down part. That meant him on the ground, cracked ribs and all, pushing a saw back and forth. Through one of the toughest little cedars he’d ever seen.
By the time he finished the second tree, standing up just about wasn’t an option.
He backed up, on his hands and knees, inhaling through the sharp pain. Jade had hold of her tree and started dragging it toward the wagon. Madeline stood in front of him.
“Need help?” She didn’t smile.
“I’m afraid to admit that I do.” He sat back up, moving into a squatting position that proved to be pretty overrated.
She stood there a long moment and then she reached for his hands. He made it to his feet, holding on to her as he stretched and the muscles in his back relaxed. Briefly.
“Phew, that was fun.”
She was still holding his hands. She looked up, her eyes wide and deep-down hurt, the kind that took years to heal. Inside those dark eyes of hers he saw the little girl she’d been. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and protect her. He wanted to promise no one would ever hurt her again.
He let go of her hands because he wouldn’t be the guy that broke her heart. She needed someone safe and dependable. How was that for being the grown-up, responsible guy? He’d have to share this moment with his dad.
The day Jackson Cooper used self-control.
What in the world had happened to him? Had he grown a conscience? Changed? Maybe all of those prayers uttered at Dawson Community Church on his behalf were suddenly being answered.
He chuckled.
“What?” Madeline had backed away, as if she’d suddenly come to her senses.
“Nothing, just thinking about prayers said on my behalf.”
“What does that mean?”
“Are you going to say you haven�
��t heard my mother or grandmother stand up in church and spill their guts about my life and how I need to come back to God?”
“That isn’t really something to joke about.” Madeline’s eyes narrowed and he felt very chastised, for a second.
“I’m not joking. I know what they say. I grew up in church.”
“They don’t gossip about you, if that’s what you think. They love you and worry about you.”
He smiled at her ruffled feathers. “I know. But I’m not so far from God as they all think. I pray. I read my Bible. I’m not dating a different woman every night of the week. I’ve hardly dated at all in the last six months.” As if she really needed all this information.
They walked side by side back to the wagon. Jackson had pulled on his gloves and he dragged the bigger tree behind him. Madeline stopped him a short distance from the wagon. She put a hand on his arm.
“Why don’t you go to church?”
He shrugged. “Got out of the habit, I guess. Years of running around, rodeoing, sowing those wild oats. God and I are working it out.”
“I see. So when they ask for prayers for you on Sunday, should I tell them you’re good?”
He grinned. “One of these days I’ll show up and prove it myself.”
“That would be nice. You know it breaks your mother’s heart that you’re not in church.”
“I’m not the only one.”
“I know. She wants all of her children in church with her.”
“Have you always gone to church?” He lifted the cedar tree and tossed it into the back of the wagon. Jade had a stick and she tossed it for Bud to fetch. He watched her for a minute, wondering how much of her story was true. She didn’t seem to be a heartbroken kid. Instead she acted as if she might be on the adventure of a lifetime.
“She’s a cute kid.”
“Yeah, she is.” What in the world should he do with her? He couldn’t just move a kid into his house and be her dad. He hadn’t been sitting around his house thinking he wanted a kid cluttering up his bathroom, leaving dirty clothes on the floor and asking for money to go to the movies.
The Cowboy's Holiday Blessing Page 5
