I’d spent my life, since the day my mother took us away and my father didn’t follow, protecting Zarina. She’d been so young, such a little girl, and needed someone to help shape her perception of men. I’d not accomplished my task, though, because she was attracted to jerks, always dating one loser after another.
I’d noticed my protectiveness rolled over into my own relationships, whether they be romantic or friendship. Or apparently a connection with a friend, someone I’d never met before but was now worried about. Daphne and I kept missing each other, not truly meeting, and yet I found myself sitting here wondering why she wanted to be alone and if she would be alright if her foot was broken. Even if it wasn’t broken, she was obviously in pain if she had to be driven to the hospital. Did she have a boyfriend to care for her? A family member? She’d pushed Francesca away, but would she reach out if things got too bad for her?
My thoughts were interrupted by the door chiming, pulling me from my pointless pondering. Straightening my spine, I looked up to see none other than my mother standing in front of me, hand on hip, looking pissed.
“Mother,” I said, cocking a brow. “Why are you here?”
“You’re needed in court Monday.”
Grimacing as if I actually cared, I shook my head. “No can do. I’m busy interviewing for my position on Monday.”
“What do you mean by that?” she snapped. Her tone was so cold and icy, she reminded me of a witch on those movies my sister watched when we were little.
“Exactly what I said, Mother. You heard me.”
“Where are you going to work?” she inquired. Her eyes were slit like a snake’s as she hissed each word. She was a snake, now that I thought about it.
“I’m opening a music shop and eventually going to teach people how to play instruments,” I told her with a grin. The more I thought about it, the more excited I became. This was my calling and I couldn’t wait to start it.
Turning her nose up, she scoffed. “Zander Matthew McKinney, you are not doing such a thing. You’re better than that. Now stop this nonsense and come to court on Monday.”
I couldn’t stop the smirk from spreading across my face. “You really are a bitch, Mother, did you know that?”
Stunned, she stood staring at me with her mouth agape.
Standing, I walked over and turned the lock on the door. Chuckling to myself, I turned and shook my head. “For the past eleven years I’ve made excuses for you, and it’s time to stop. You’re selfish, you’re manipulative, and I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. I’m sorry for whatever reason you and Dad split, but it’s not my fault, nor is it Zarina’s. If you want to live your snobby life with Ander, then go ahead, but I don’t want to be a part of it.”
Sucking in her cheeks, she stood fuming as her face grew brighter. “He cheated on me and had another child. Your father isn’t the saint you think he is. And if you don’t want to be a part of our family, fine, but don’t come running to me when you need something.”
Another child? What in the hell was she talking about? “What was that? Why didn’t you tell us? Zarina and I deserve to know if we have a sibling out there!”
She shrugged, her blatant expression telling me she really didn’t give a damn. “He wasn’t my problem anymore.”
“But we were,” I said with a knowing tone. “You should have just left us with him.”
“He didn’t want you. He didn’t even take care of the child he had. He sent money for her and that was it. He’s a selfish bastard, Zander,” she snapped.
“Then why didn’t you stay together? You have so much in common.”
She slung a slew of curse words at me as she unlocked and swept out the door. How my mother could have known for eleven years I had a sibling and not told me? Not told Zarina. She’d let us miss out on growing up with someone who shared our blood.
I apparently had another sister. How old was she? What was her name? Did she know about me? Had my father really missed out on her, too? Would she want to meet me or Zarina?
Talking to my sister was an absolute must.
My fist pounded the door of Zarina’s latest loser’s apartment. After driving forty-five minutes to get to this place, I was shocked to find a broken down building that looked like it needed to be condemned. How my baby sister kept finding these losers who couldn’t even care for themselves, I didn’t know, but it was time for a serious heart to heart with her.
The door creaked open, dirt falling from the cracks in the frame. A disheveled guy at least four inches shorter than my six foot, three inches stared at me, a dull and bored look on his face.
“Yeah?” he croaked out.
Was he on drugs? “I’m here for Zarina,” I said impatiently.
He lazily looked me over. “Who are you?” he drawled out. He spoke as if he couldn’t comprehend what was happening, what words he was using, or even how to make them come out.
Resting my palm on the door, I leaned forward. “I’m her brother. Now move your lazy, stinky ass out of the way and let me see my sister,” I growled.
She didn’t know it, she wouldn’t like it, but she was coming home with me. She wasn’t going to stay in this dump with this asshole for a second longer.
“Zander?” her tiny voice called. She was petite, short to my tall, and so pretty it angered me. I hated men took advantage of her just to get in her pants.
“Zarina, pack your stuff,” I said as I pushed past the smelly bastard blocking my way. “Move,” I demanded in a low voice when he gave resistance.
My tone was enough, so he scattered back to the other room, not even giving Zarina a second glance. I looked over at her, seeing her confusion etched on every inch of her face. Wrapping my arms around her, I held her tightly.
“Please tell me you aren’t sleeping with that dickwad,” I begged.
“What?” she screeched, moving back. “Ew. No.”
Relief flooded through me and I slumped my shoulders as I held onto my head. “Thank God. Why are you here?”
“My boyfriend lives with him. Tom is his roommate, the guy you met.”
“He’s disgusting. So is this place. Come back with me, just for the weekend,” I pleaded. “I have something to talk to you about concerning our family.”
Rolling her eyes, she sat on the filthy couch. “I doubt I want to hear it.”
Running my hand through my hair, I shook my head a few times. “Trust me, it’s important. Please go pack your shit and let’s get out of here before I get some disease.”
“Don’t be a snob,” she snapped.
It was so hard to forget sometimes that she was still a teenager, a child in so many ways because she’d never had the nurturing she craved so much. At nineteen, she’d moved around more than most, refusing to go to college in rebellion, jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend in hopes of finding love.
It made me feel like a failure.
“I’m not a snob, Zarina. We both know this place isn’t somewhere you should be. Now get your shit or I’m dragging you out of here.”
Her jaw locked as she jumped up and stomped off. She returned a few minutes later, bag thrown over her shoulder. Her stance was hard and angry as she tapped her foot on the floor, lips pinched together. “I’m ready, I suppose. Since you’re forcing me.”
“Don’t be a child,” I sighed. I pushed the door back open and held my arm out for her to go first. Giving her time to cool off was best. I knew my news was going to floor her as much as it had me, and I didn’t want to tell her until she had time to cool off.
She kept huffing and puffing as I drove, almost to the point where I asked her if she was going to blow my house down, but I knew better than to anger her further. Finding out we had a sister was a big deal, and she deserved to know. Finally, once she was settled with her arms crossed, feet on the dash, and head rested back, I determined she was cooled off enough.
“Zarina?”
“Mmm?” Her eyes didn’t even open.
“I have
to tell you something. Important. And serious.” I stressed each part of the sentence as much as I could.
“What?” she asked, peeping through one eye.
“Mom and I got in a fight and she told me something. I don’t know any details at all, but she said we have a sister,” I explained.
Silence filled the car. I couldn’t even hear her breathing. Turning my head quickly, I saw her eyes wide and staring straight out the windshield. “Zarina?”
“A sister?” she squeaked.
I nodded. “Supposedly that’s why she left dad all those years ago.”
She took a few minutes before responding, then asked, “Why didn’t she tell us? Or him?”
I shrugged. “Mom said he didn’t even help raise her, just sent money.”
Sighing heavily, she slammed her fist against the door panel. “Damn them both! They should have told us!”
Reaching over, I patted her knee. “I agree, but they didn’t. She probably doesn’t even know about us, so we have to find her.”
“Yes we do,” she said with conviction.
This was my moment to save her, to make sure she didn’t return to the possibly rat infested building with Tom and whatever guy she was with. “You’ll help me? I’m opening a music shop in two months or so. I’m quitting the law stuff. Stay with me, help me find her.”
“What about Chris?”
“Is that the guy you’re dating?” I inquired. I tried to be curious, but it came out seething.
“Yes….”
“Honestly? If he’s worth it, a few months away won’t be a big deal,” I countered. It was a long shot, but I had to try. I couldn’t let her go back to that place.
She seemed to think about it, taking her sweet time to keep quiet and make me wonder if she would stay or go. She eventually put me out of my misery. “Alright. But I’m only staying until you open your store.”
Smiling, I drove on, pleased I’d accomplished one tiny thing so far. We had to find our sister, now, though.
Daphne
“Your weight?” she asked, holding pen to paper as she awaited my answer.
“One forty eight last I checked.”
“Last menstrual period?”
I thought back, unsure of when it actually was. “I’m on the four seasons pill, it’s been a while.”
She nodded, scribbling down some words. “Could you be pregnant?”
“I’m on the pill,” I chuckled. Wasn’t she paying attention?
“Ok,” she said, clipping the pen to the top of the board. “The lab technician will be up shortly, then we’ll get you set up for x-rays.”
I nodded and said my thanks, lying back to scroll through my phone some more. The lab technician showed up shortly after, much to my surprise, as most hospital visits took forever for anyone to do anything.
“Hello, my name is Brooke and I’m just going to get a few labs,” she said cheerfully. Her blonde hair hit just beneath her shoulders, her bright blue eyes glistening with friendliness. She set her supply bucket on the bed beside me, pulling out the circulation cutter and snapping it around my upper arm.
“Why do we have to do labs for an x-ray?” I questioned. Hospitals did anything to get more money.
Smiling, she patted my arm and cleaned it with alcohol. “The labs are to make sure you aren’t pregnant or have any diseases that could interfere with the x-ray.” She inserted the needle, stinging my arm slightly, and took three vials of blood.
After bandaging me, she grinned and said, “All done!”
She definitely had the nice and friendly demeanor hospitals needed, but I wasn’t in the mood. I raised a brow, then looked down to my phone, pulling up a new text to Ava.
“Ok then,” she said, gathering her supplies and picking it up. She reminded me of little red riding hood in her red scrubs and blood-taking carrier. “I hope you have a good day and your foot isn’t broken, Ms. Waterman.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled. Why was I such a bitch? She hurried out the door, probably wondering the same thing, and I got lost in my messaging.
Me: Hey
Tapping my nails against the screen, I willed her to reply. An antagonizing five minutes later, she did.
Ava: Hey girl!
Me: I’m in the ER.
Ava: What?! This reply came in mere seconds. Followed by: Are you OK?
Me: I fell, like a dumbass, and can’t walk. About to get x-rays to see if broken.
Ava: OMG. I’m sorry. Do you need me to come there?
Me: No, Francesca and Cade are here. I don’t know why I lied, but I did. I wanted to be alone, but being bored and lonely, just wanted someone to talk to. Even if it was only texting.
Ava: Oh, ok. Keep me updated!!!!
Ava had been Francesca’s friend first, meeting her at a lame community town meeting that I refused to go to. I would have been bored out of my damn mind. Francesca soon invited her to our girl’s night, and the rest was history. Ava was more like me than Franny, often going out on the town and partying it up. Francesca was a homebody, preferring to stay in and read or watch movies.
Ava and I had quickly grown our friendship, using our hatred for rules and love of alcohol to bond and become close. She didn’t know of my issues, but she had witnessed on more than one occasion me lying to a male and leaving with him. She never said a word, though, and I loved her for it.
A soft knock at the door caused me to lift my head, wondering who was here this time. “Come in,” I called. Didn’t they usually walk in after the knock?
A guy about my age walked in, his blonde hair tousled and his grey eyes intense and hard. “Ms. Waterman?” he said meekly.
“That’s me,” I said with a small smile. What was his deal?
“I’m Brian, I’m here to take you for your MRI,” he stated. Before he could continue, I interrupted.
“MRI? Why not a regular x-ray?” Didn’t MRI’s cost more? These damned people really did want all my money.
He looked down at his paper, scrunching his brows. Then, looking up, he grinned. “I see why. It’s safer for the baby this way, that’s why your doctor ordered MRI over x-ray.”
…Baby? “Excuse me?”
“How far along are you?” he asked politely, obviously not seeing I was having trouble breathing and could possibly fall off the bed at any moment.
Stuttering, I attempted to speak, but only squeaked. Clearing my throat, I eventually got my words out. “I’m not pregnant.”
Red flushed his cheeks. “Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s what it says right here. Excuse me a moment,” he mumbled, dashing out the door.
He was younger than me, probably fresh out of school, and that had to be why he was so meek and mild, and obviously confused. Controlling my breathing was difficult, why did the p-word scare me so much? I was on the pill, there was no way. Plus, I always made the men use condoms to be extra safe.
Except for Mr. Musician with the blue eyes. Damn my voices for reminding me. It didn’t matter, the pill was still effective, and Brian was mistaken.
The nurse from earlier and another woman strode in, both looking distraught.
“Daphne, we have some news,” the doctor I assumed, said.
Oh, shit. My heart pounded and my palms sweated. “I’m on the pill.”
The nurse smiled, patting my hand. “The pill isn’t 100%, Daphne.”
“Your bloodwork shows you are pregnant, Daphne. Do you have any idea how far along you could be?” the doctor asked.
“Who are you?” I blurted. This woman was standing here changing my life forever and I didn’t even know her name.
“I’m Dr. McLaughlin,” she said with a smile. “Do you know how far you are?”
I thought back to that night…the man with the eyes that haunted me. I hadn’t been out since him, his touch completely devouring my mind, not allowing another in. Alcohol hadn’t even helped. Never before had I been affected like this.
OMG alcohol. “I drank last month. Is my baby going to be ok?”
I asked in a panic.
The doctor took a seat on the swirling stool and got eye level with me. “Daphne, I can see you’re upset and surprised. If you haven’t had alcohol the whole time, you should be fine, but we really need to know how far along you are in order to determine if there could be any permanent damage.”
I thought back to that night in June, the sticky heat making sweat trickle down my neck as I’d watched him play on stage, his voice mesmerizing me into a trance I’d yet to wake from. “It was June 30th,”I whispered, remembering the night more clearly than I should have.
She pulled out her phone, then a few seconds later told me how old my baby was. “You’re seven weeks pregnant.”
My hand automatically went to my stomach. There was a baby in there. A child, part me, part singing god, growing in my uterus. I was growing a human being. “Seven weeks,” I whispered, rubbing a circle around where I thought it was. “Did the alcohol hurt it?”
“Probably not,” she admitted, signaling to the nurse to stand with her. “But to be safe, we’re going to get you over to OB to find out. Now, I’m going to send Brian back in here to get your MRI done.”
“Will it hurt the baby?” I questioned. All that mattered was not hurting my child.
“No, there’s no radiation like with x-rays.”
“What about the fall? Did it hurt the baby?” I couldn’t stop saying, or thinking, baby.
“We’ll check you over in a moment, ok?” she replied with a soft smile.
I nodded, absentmindedly staring down at my stomach. A baby would be coming out of my vagina in seven months. Oh my God.
Brian reappeared, looking more nervous than before, and took me to the MRI room. It was quick and painless, but I couldn’t help worrying about the child. What if I’d hurt it when I’d done so many stupid things? And falling all because I was pissed off. What was wrong with me?
How would I tell my family? Francesca? My friends? I didn’t even know the guy’s name and I was going to have his baby. When had I become this person?
Anxious Hearts Page 5
