I snuck closer, staying out of site. They were too invested in their argument to even notice me spying on them.
“You need to leave,” she demanded. “He knows you’re here. He saw you.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“Liam, please. If you ever cared about me, please leave. You know what seeing you is going to do.”
He glared at her. “That’s not my problem anymore,” he gritted.
She flinched as if his words stung, removing her hand from him. “I’m sorry, Liam. I’m sorry for everything. If I could take it all back, I would.”
“That’s not good enough, Tessa. Leave him. Let me take care of you.”
“It’s not that easy.”
I choked back a sob in my throat. Tears welled in my eyes. What was he talking about? Who the hell was she? I backed away not able to listen to this.
My feet were carrying me backwards, protecting me from the destruction that was sure to happen to my heart. But my eyes didn’t leave them. I stumbled backwards, knocking into a console table along the wall that held a glass vase. The vase teetered off the table, crashing to the floor, shattering into a million tiny pieces. Just like my heart.
My eyes widened when their heads whipped around to search out the noise I had created.
“Shit.” Liam’s eyes focused on me.
I stood there like a frightened deer in headlights. Tessa glanced between me and Liam, looking just as frightened. She gave Liam a pleading stare before dropping her head and rushing past me. The motion of her leaving, sent a signal to my body that it needed to do the same. I turned to leave.
“Damn it! Val. Wait!” Liam yelled behind me.
Thanks to my freaking dress there was no way I would be able to get away from him. I couldn’t out run him even in workout clothes and running shoes, so instead I turned to face him. Planting my feet firmly on the ground, hardening my exterior appearance while my insides crumbled and fell apart.
“Who is she?” I demanded answers.
“Nobody,” he said cautiously, moving in towards me.
“Not good enough Liam. Tell me. Now.”
“She’s nobody important.”
“That’s not what it looked like and it sure as hell didn’t sound that way when you were begging her to leave her husband for you.”
His eyes narrowed as his own face hardened. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, princess.”
“I heard you Liam! And don’t fucking call me princess. Not right now.”
“Val. Listen to me,” his eyes pleaded with me, his voice trying to calm me. “We need to go. We can talk about this somewhere else.”
I shook my head while I tried to process everything I heard and everything he was saying. I tried to force my brain to think rationally, but my emotions were stabbing through me. I knew I needed to get them under control. I needed to hear him out, but the anger and hurt took me back to high school. Back to the pain. Back to the darkness. I knew Liam wasn’t that guy, but I had heard him with my own two ears. I was lost. Lost to my thoughts and emotions.
“Val, please. Please come with me.” He was now standing dangerously close to me, adding a new level of complexity to my already frazzled brain. Now my body was charging with his touch. His hand was on my face, halting my shaking head.
“Let’s go home. We can talk there. I’ll tell you everything.”
“Take your hands off her,” Rhett’s gruff demanding voice rumbled from behind me.
Liam looked over my shoulder at my brother, dropping his hand. I swung around to find Rhett fast approaching us with Jim, Eric and Riley in tow.
“Rhett?”
“Go back to the party, Val.”
“No. What’s this about?”
“Now, Valerie.”
“I said no. This is between me and Liam. I don’t need you and your attack dogs getting in the middle.”
They stopped a few feet away from us. All of them looking pissed and ready to fight. What the hell was going on?
“Circumstances are different now. Go back to the party.”
“What circumstances?”
I glanced back at Liam who was standing rigidly behind me. His fists clenched ready to fight. His expression stern….but his eyes are what confused me. His eyes held pain. And defeat. As if he was expecting this.
“Rhett?” Ava pushed through the bulldogs to her husband’s side. “What’s going on?”
“That’s what I would like to know,” I said, throwing my hands on my hips.
“Ava, take Val and go back to the party.”
“No! I am not a child, Rhett! You all need to leave. I’m going home with Liam. This is between us,” I retorted before Ava could respond.
“You’re not going anywhere with him.” He pointed a demanding finger at me. He turned his dark narrowed eyes to Liam, “And you. You’re going to stay the hell away from my sister and my family.”
“No!” I screamed at Rhett. I was at my breaking point with my brother.
“She doesn’t even know, does she?” Rhett growled, a sudden understanding crossing his expression.
Liam didn’t respond. He just held his own angry glare on my brother. The rage was radiating from him.
“Know what?” I asked, glancing at Ava who looked remorseful and angry at the same time.
“He has a record, Val! He was convicted. Plead guilty. He was in prison for two years.” I shook my head incredulously. “For domestic abuse. Are you listening to me? He put someone in the hospital.”
“Rhett, you promised me,” Ava finally spoke up.
“I didn’t break my promise, Ava. I was tipped off by someone who knows him.”
Liam turned to me, gripping my arms in his hands, while Rhett was distracted with Ava.
“Val. I’m sorry.”
I stood unresponsive. Looking at him. Searching his face for answers. I needed to hear him out. I promised him many times before I always would. That I wouldn’t run. I wouldn’t run from his past. None of this made sense. Liam wasn’t abusive. He wouldn’t even let his friend fight.
“Get your fucking hands off her!” Rhett stepped forward to forcefully remove Liam. His attention back on us.
Liam dropped his hands, not giving him the chance. He gave me one last longing look, before stepping to leave.
“Liam? No!” I cried. The tears overflowed from my eyes. I fumbled, grasping for his hand to stop him. But he was too quick, pushing past everyone as they held me back from him.
“Let me go!” I screamed at my brother and his stupid goons. “Let me go!” I pounded my fists against my frustrating brother’s chest.
“Let her go!” Ava screamed desperately for me. “Damn it, Rhett.” She pushed his arms from me, wrapping her own tiny arms around me as I crumbled to the floor.
“Rhett?” Jim gripped his shoulder. He gave him a single nod and they all left, leaving me alone in the hallway with only my family.
I sobbed in Ava’s arms as she sat with me, stroking my hair, shushing me. “What the hell were you thinking?” She turned her anger on Rhett.
“You can’t seriously be angry with me right now? What did you expect me to do, Ava? I wasn’t waiting for him to hit her for the first time.”
“Do you truly believe he would do that?” She paused. “We both know how misunderstandings can come between two people. You should have talked to him first. Given him the opportunity to tell you what happened.”
I choked back my sobbing, silencing my cries at hearing Ava’s words.
“He had plenty of opportunity to come clean, and he didn’t,” Rhett responded. “He hadn’t even told, Val.”
He’d been trying. But things kept happening, preventing him….and then I told him I didn’t want to know…this was my fault.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Rhett… I just know what happened here was not the way to handle it.”
I pushed up from her chest, staring at the two of them. A clarity washing over me. I struggled to get
to my feet. I needed to go after him.
“What are you doing?” Rhett asked.
“Leaving. And I swear, Rhett… If you stand in my way, I will never speak to you again.”
Rhett’s head dropped, his hands rubbing down his face. He looked back up at me, his eyes acknowledging my threat. I pushed past him, leaving the two of them to work out their own argument. I needed to fight for the man I loved.
I hiked my dress up, kicking off my heels before breaking into a full on sprint. I flew through the hotel entrance, spinning every which way to find him. I wasn’t sure if he would even still be here. I ran down the concrete steps to the main sidewalk.
My heart dropped. He was still here. He stood from a sitting position on the side of the curb as a pair of headlights pulled up to him.
“Liam!” I screamed, running towards him, just as he grabbed the door handle of the car, opening the passenger side door.
He looked over his shoulder at the sound of my voice, watching me as I barreled towards him. He dropped his hand from the door handle, rotating to face me.
“Liam,” I breathed as I came to a stop in front of him. “Don’t leave… Please,” I begged through my short breaths.
He didn’t respond. I reached for him and he jerked back, dodging my touch. My heart hit my chest with one forceful beat like I had been sucker punched. I searched his eyes. I choked back a sob at the emptiness I found.
“Liam?” I struggled to speak through my shaky voice.
“Go back inside, Val.”
“No. I’m going with you.”
He shook his head firmly. His eyes determined.
“Liam, listen to me. I don’t care what was said in there. I love you. Do you hear me...? I. Love. You.” I repeated each word with certainty.
A sliver of hope flashed through his eyes for a split second before it was replaced with more hollowness.
“Go back inside, Val,” he growled.
“No. Did you hear what I said? I love you, damn it….You don’t have to say you love me back… Just say you won’t leave.”
“I can’t do that, Val. Those people in there….I don’t fit with them. I will never be them. I never want to be them. I don’t belong here.”
“Those people? What do you mean by those people... you mean like me? You don’t belong with me?” My voice quaked. My anger surfaced.
“No, Val. Shit...” He threw his hands in his hair, roughly running them through it as he struggled to explain himself. “You’re not one of them…” He flung his arm out towards the building. “They’re a bunch of arrogant assholes who think they can push everyone around. You’re different…You’re special.”
“Then why are you pushing me away? Let me come with you.”
He shook his head, “I can’t. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you. This will never work. Your family will never allow you to be with me. And they shouldn’t.”
“Hey, buddy. I can’t sit here all night. Are you two stayin’ or goin’?” An irritated driver interrupted our conversation.
Liam glanced over at the man who I wanted to punch in the face right then. He gave him a harsh nod before turning his gaze back to me.
“Go inside, princess.” His words were sharp with regret.
“Liam,” I pleaded.
He ignored me, getting into the car. I stood frozen by his rejection that I had felt one too many times before. He closed the door, not even giving me another sideways glance as the car drove away. As the man I loved drove away. As my world drove away.
He left me alone …desperate, angry and hurt. Again. Desperate for his touch. Angered by his self-doubt. Hurt by his rejection. The tears poured from my eyes as my body gave into the gravity of my reality. The weight of my pain too much to handle, I fell to my knees, bending forward as I cried into the palms of my hands.
I’m not sure how long I was there when I felt large, strong arms around me. They lifted me into the air, cradling me against a firm, hard frame. I buried my face in their chest as I continued to sob. I was placed inside a limo, where I curled into a ball on the seat.
“I’ve got her. I’m taking her home.” I heard Jim’s deep voice come from somewhere near me. It was the last thing I remembered hearing from that night before my mind shut down, blacking out the world around me.
CHAPTER 18
The days after Liam left me were a blur. I spent the whole time locked in my room. Falling in and out of sleep between my fits of crying. I called in sick to work, pretending to have the flu. I couldn’t deal with being around anybody. Not even Lexie.
By day two of me pushing her away and locking her out, she called in for back-up. Ava showed up, trying to get me to come out of my room, if not to talk, to at least eat. I refused. She threatened to call my brother to break down the door. In turn, I threatened to never speak to any of them again. Not that I was really speaking to any of them at that moment, anyways. After spending hours of trying to tempt me out of my room, I heard her tell Lexie she would check back later. She had to get home to Nate.
The next day Dax showed up. Hearing his voice through the door, almost had me opening it, if only to inquire about Liam. I wanted to know how he was doing so badly. Was he suffering an unbearable pain like me? Or had he moved on with his life as if I never existed?
My hand wrapped around the door knob, ready to turn the lock. But then I dropped my hand, realizing I didn’t really want to know the answers to the questions in my head. The idea of either one of those being true would just hurt and anger me more. If he had moved on, I would be devastated. If he was suffering, I would be infuriated at his stubbornness.
“Val, please come out,” Lexie pleaded for the hundredth time through my closed door.
My head shook no with my forehead pressed to the door, even though she couldn’t see it.
“We don’t have to talk about anything. I just want you to eat. You need to eat something.”
“Come on, sweetheart,” I heard Dax’s smooth voice. “You’re not going to be able to kick his ass later if you don’t eat. You need food to get that fight back in you.”
I turned pressing my back to the door as I slid down it. I landed on my bottom, pulling my bent knees to my chest, hugging them to me.
“I’m done fighting, Dax,” I gave my weak response.
“I don’t believe you, sweetheart…he needs you.”
“He doesn’t want me.”
“I know you don’t believe that.”
I didn’t know what I believed anymore.
“Don’t make me break down this door. If I have to, I may injure my hand. I wouldn’t be able to play the guitar after that…you wouldn’t want that on your conscious.”
I heard the humor in his voice and somehow his words invoked a small snotty snorted chuckle to release through the tears that were running down my cheeks. I grasped onto that little bit of light, knowing I needed to pull myself out of the darkness. I stood, unlocking the door. At the sound of the click, the door flew open with Lexie pushing through.
“Thank God,” she gasped, throwing her arms securely around me, pinning my arms to my side. “Dax, get your tools.”
Tools?
Dax entered the room, hugging us both and kissing me on the top of my head. “Glad you’re still alive, sweetheart.” He released us, leaving us alone in the room.
“Where’s he going?”
“To get his tools. We’re removing your door knob,” she said, pulling back to look at me. I would have thought she was joking if it hadn’t been for the serious determination on her face.
“What? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not allowing you the opportunity to lock yourself in here again….Now come on. I’m making you something to eat, and you’re going to eat it. No arguments. You’ve been scaring the living shit out of me for the last few days. It’s the least you can do.” She grasped my hand in hers, pulling me out of my self-defined prison.
I watched lifelessly as Lexie prepared me something to
eat and brewed some coffee. She placed a plate of fruit and a glass of water in front of me while she scrambled some eggs and toasted a bagel for me. I stared at the assortment of fruit. My hands slowly moved to put a strawberry in my mouth.
She took a seat next to me, placing my coffee and the rest of the food in front of me. We both sat quietly, sipping our coffees. She took a deep breath.
“Val, I know you’re hurting. I know you want to stay locked in that room forever…but I can’t let you. Just like you would never let me.” She turned to look at me. “You have to start living again…”
I kept my eyes down on my plate, pushing the food around with my fork. “I know…”
I turned to look at her. Her eyebrows slowly rose to her forehead, unsure if she heard me right. “Well, that was easy.” A cautious smile turned up on her face.
The moment I had unlocked the door, I knew I needed to at least try to function. Even if only out of necessity. Even if I felt like a shell of a person.
Despite my insistence that I would not lock myself in my room again, at least not in the near future, Lexie still made Dax replace my door knob with an unlockable one. I rolled my eyes at her, but let it go. I had put her through a lot over the last few days.
I took one more day to pull myself together before going back to work. The following week I was able to put on a good front that I was doing okay during the daytime. It was easy during the day with the distraction of work and going to my call back audition. At night, it was impossible. The loneliness I felt at night was hard to ignore. I would cry myself to sleep, wishing Liam was lying beside me.
Graduation came and went. Christmas came and went. New Year’s came and went. And still no word from Liam. Beyond stalking the Derailed website and hearing little bits of information from Dax, I had no idea what he was doing or how he was coping. Dax tried a few times to get me to talk to Liam. But I refused. I had already tried the night he left me. I was still trying to heal. I wasn’t strong enough to go through another rejection. I couldn’t handle that.
A Reason to Leave Page 21
