by Lori Foster
“Look at you. This is pathetic. Give up and tell her you love her and you want her back.”
Tony narrowed his eyes and against his best intentions, blurted, “She dumped me, you ass. Not the other way around.”
It was almost funny the look that flashed over John’s face. Obviously this possibility hadn’t occurred to him. He asked simply, “Why?”
Shaking his head and stalking around the office, Tony knew he’d already said too much. No way would he ever confide in anyone—even his brother—the extent of Olivia’s perfidy. “Go away and leave me alone, John.”
John didn’t budge an inch. “I don’t get it. She seemed crazy about you. I was sure of it.”
Crazy about him? Tony stared, wondering if it could have been possible.
Then John demanded, “What did you do to her to make her dump you? Did you yell at her over this lying business?”
This time he did laugh, but there was nothing humorous in the sound. What had he done? Made love to her, as per her request, giving her pleasure, giving her his baby.
Then he’d accused her of using him for money. It had been his anger talking, but still, he shouldn’t have made such a ridiculous claim. Sex, yes, but Olivia would never use anyone for money. God, she’d spent her life proving her independence, isolating herself, facing each day alone.
But now she’d have the baby. His baby.
He cursed again, aiming his disgust at John. But it was a wasted effort. John only dropped into a chair and looked thoughtful. “I think we need to figure this one out.”
“I need to get back to my work.” He said it through gritted teeth, wanting privacy to wallow in his misery, but John shook his head.
“I don’t understand why, if you want her, you don’t just woo her.”
“Woo her? Woo her? What kind of word is that?”
“An appropriate kind. Olivia must need something you haven’t given her yet. When I was dating Lisa, I always thought I was saying the right thing, and it always turned out to be the wrong thing.”
Brian opened the door just then and walked in to hear John’s statement. He grinned. “You have a knack for saying the wrong thing. So what else is new?”
John turned and without a single hesitation, explained the situation to Brian. Tony threw up his hands and dropped back into the chair behind his desk. He listened as the two men discussed his life as if he weren’t even in the room. Damn interfering…at least his mother and sister didn’t know.
No sooner did he have the thought, than Kate came storming in.
“What did you do to Olivia?”
Tony leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.
Again, John began to explain. Tony tried to tune them out, but then Kate said, “Oh. When I talked to her, she only said that they weren’t seeing each other anymore.”
“You talked to her?” Tony asked, sounding anxious in spite of himself. “When?”
“Just this morning. She sounds awful. Not at all like herself.”
“What do you mean? Is she still sick?” He was aware of their looks, how they all exchanged glances, but at the moment, he didn’t care.
“I don’t know anything about her being sick, Tony. I assumed she was heartbroken. But then, I thought you had broken things off. I mean, it was obvious she was crazy about you.”
There it was again. Tony leaned forward and said, “Why does everyone keep saying that! The woman dumped me.”
“What did you do to her?” asked Kate and Brian together.
Tony had had enough. He came to his feet in a rush and said to the room at large, “I’m going out for lunch.”
John grabbed his arm before he could leave the room. “I’ve always thought you were an intelligent man, Tony. But right now, you’re acting pretty dumb. Don’t sit around here sulking. Go fix things with her.”
“And how am I supposed to do that?”
John slapped his shoulder and grinned. “As I said, you’re smart. You’ll think of something.”
*
IT TOOK TONY a few more days to come up with a solid plan. But once he did, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it sooner. It was perfect, probably the only ploy that would work with Olivia.
He would appeal to her business ethics.
He tracked her down at the downtown shop where she was busy stringing white twinkle lights in the front store window that faced the lobby. She stood on a small stool, a smile on her face, looking beautiful and healthy and not at all like a woman pining away for a man. He almost balked, but then she looked up and met his gaze and her smile vanished. Her dark eyes took on a wary look.
He approached her and took her hand, helping her to step down from the stool. “Hello, Olivia.”
“Tony. What brings you downtown?”
“I was looking for you, actually.”
That wary look intensified and she nervously brushed her hands together. “Oh?”
“We have some things to discuss, I think. Don’t you?” He kept his tone gentle, not wanting to upset her before it was absolutely necessary.
“I… I suppose we do.” She turned and called to her assistant. “Finish hanging these lights, will you, Alicia? I’ll be in my office.”
Without a word to him, she started toward the back of the shop. This location was smaller than the one they’d met in before, but he liked it. There were the red bows and garlands strung around the shop and Tony wondered if she decorated her own home at all. Doubtful. Her apartment was utilitarian to the point of being depressing.
This year, he hadn’t decorated, either. It just hadn’t seemed important.
She closed her office door after he’d stepped inside, then went to sit behind her desk. There was only one other chair in the room, a plain wooden chair, and Tony pulled it forward. “How have you been, Olivia? Kate mentioned that you seemed ill.”
She looked frightened for a second, then she visibly relaxed. “Morning sickness, I’m afraid. Although it hits me at the oddest times, not just in the morning.”
Perfect, Tony thought, knowing he couldn’t have asked for a better opening. “Any other changes you’re noticing?”
Looking anxious, she smiled and said, “You know, there are. Small things, but it’s amazing how the baby is making itself known. Even though I’m not very far along yet.”
“What kind of things?” He held her gaze, refusing to let her look away.
She flushed, then shook her head. “Nothing big. Just…little things.”
“But I want to know.” He added gently, “That was part of our deal, remember?”
Olivia stiffened at the reminder of their original bargain. “What are you talking about?”
It took all his control to look negligent, to hide his growing anticipation. If she guessed at his ulterior motives, she’d throw him out on his ear. He picked up a lacy slip lying on the desk and pretended to examine it. “You agreed to allow me to view all the changes—if you got pregnant. I realize now of course that you only made the deal because you thought it would never come to this. But I’ve given it a lot of thought. And I’ve decided you should be fair-minded about the whole thing.”
Her face was pale now and her hands were clenched together. “I already told you how sorry I am about all that, Tony. But I’m keeping my baby.”
“I’ll want visitation.”
“I offered it to you.”
“And,” he went on, as if she hadn’t spoken, “I’ll want to pay for half the baby’s bills. As to that, I should pay for half your medical bills as well.”
“No!” She was out of her seat in an instant and leaning over the desk to glare at him. “I told you, I want nothing from you.”
“And I believe you. But it’s my right to pay half.”
“But it’s my body, my baby!” Then she stumbled back, realizing what she’d said. Tony merely waited, and she drew several deep breaths. “Okay. It’s your baby, too. And when it’s born, if you want to take part of the pediatrician’s expenses on you
rself, that’s fine. Why should we argue? But my bills are my own.”
“I could take you to court, you know.”
She gaped at him. “You’d sue me to get half my bills?”
He shrugged. “That, and to get you to honor the bargain we made.”
Feeling behind herself for her chair, she dropped down and concentrated on taking several deep breaths. Her face was pale, her eyes huge. “You’re going to take the baby from me?”
Tony felt like a monster. He stood up and went around the desk, then turned her chair toward him. Kneeling, he took her hands in his and held them tightly. “Do you honestly think I’d do that to you, Olivia?”
She shook her head and her hair tumbled over her shoulders. “No. But you said…”
“We made other deals, sweetheart.” He kept his tone low and soothing. “Don’t you remember?”
Her gaze became wary.
“I want to be a part of the pregnancy as well as the birth. You promised me I could observe all the little changes, watch you as the baby caused changes in your body. I want to do that, Olivia. I want to know every little thing that occurs.”
“But…everything is different now.”
“No. The only thing that’s different is that you’ve admitted you lied to me, and you want to keep the baby. The rest of our agreement should stand.” He squeezed her fingers again and stared into her stunned gaze. “It’s the least you could do.”
He could tell she was considering it, thinking about it. His gaze dropped to her breasts and he whispered, “I bought a book that detailed all the changes. One of the first things to happen is your breasts should get tender and swollen.” He glanced up and was caught by her wide dark eyes. “I remember now, the last time we made love, you seemed especially sensitive.”
Her chest heaved as she watched him, and then she nodded.
“Ah. So they are swollen?”
Licking her lips, she nodded again. “A little.”
“And they’re tender?”
“Yes.” Her voice was a barely discernible whisper, husky and deep and shaky.
“I want to see.”
“Tony…”
The way she groaned his name did things to him, things that shouldn’t be happening right now, not while he was trying so hard to get the upper hand. He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and whispered to her. “Shh. It’ll be all right. I’m just curious. You know how much this has meant to me. Can’t you give me at least this much?”
“But I thought you’d find another woman.”
The thought of touching anyone other than Olivia was somehow repugnant. He didn’t want another woman. Even if he went the rest of his life without a child that would be solely his, he wouldn’t want anyone but her. The idea was staggering, but true.
“No. I don’t think that’s necessary.” He released her hands and stood, needing to put some space between them before he embarrassed himself by making declarations that would be better left unsaid. At least for now. “We’ll have this baby, and that’s enough to deal with. Hell, this is far more complicated than I’d ever intended.”
He had his back to her and didn’t hear her rise, but then she was touching him, and he turned. She stood looking up at him, her expression earnest. “I’m so sorry, Tony. Honestly. I never meant for any of this to happen. It seemed like such a simple plan to me.”
Touching her cheek, he smiled. “Nothing about you is simple, honey. You’re the most complex woman I know.”
She looked crushed. “I’ve really messed things up for you, haven’t I?”
She’d made him happier than he’d ever imagined being, but he didn’t tell her that. “Things aren’t just as I’d planned them, but I will get my child. I’ll just be sharing it with you.” He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from touching her again. “But it would help if you’d abide by the agreement as much as possible. You knew from the start how I felt about things.”
She nodded miserably, and he almost apologized for heaping on the guilt, but she deserved it for her deception. And it was the only way he could think of to reach his goal.
“Then you’ll agree? You’ll let me observe the changes and take part in everything?”
She turned away and wrapped her arms around herself. “What exactly do you mean by ‘taking part’?”
“I want to attend your doctor appointments. If there are any sonograms taken, I want to be there so I can see whatever you see. When the doctor listens for a heartbeat, I want to hear it, too.”
Her shoulders slumped in relief. “That’s no problem.”
“I also want to know about every spell of morning sickness. I want to see your ankles if they swell.” Without his intention, his voice went husky. “And feel if your breasts are tender.”
She shuddered, and he wanted her right then, so badly he could hardly breathe. “I’ve seen you before, Olivia, so it won’t be a breach of your privacy. I’ve touched you…” He had to stop to draw his own breath, his lungs feeling constricted, his stomach tight with need. “I know your body, how it looks and how it feels. It’ll be easy for me to see every tiny change. Will you let me?”
She nodded very slowly, and his pulse quickened. But he wanted to be sure. “Olivia?”
“Yes.” She faced him, her cheeks flushed, her eyes bright. “Yes. That’s the least I can do.”
He recognized the signs of arousal in her expression and it took a moment before he was able to speak. “I can come over tonight.”
“I’d rather…”
“I know. You don’t want me in your apartment.” She looked surprised, and he gave her a wry smile. “I realized after I left there the last time, you’ve always avoided having me in your home. That was because you had no intention of having my baby, of course, and you wanted to keep your life separate from mine. You didn’t want me invading your inner sanctum.”
With a guilty flush, she nodded.
“But now you are having my baby, and I will be visiting there, if for nothing else than to pick up the child. So it doesn’t really matter anymore, does it?”
“I suppose not.”
She looked reluctant as hell, and he almost grinned. I’ve got you now, he thought, knowing he was moving in on her, and knowing she didn’t like it. He said, “How about six o’clock?”
“I suppose I should be finished by then.”
“Good.” He didn’t want to go, but he decided to leave before she changed her mind. “I’ll see you then.”
*
OLIVIA STRAIGHTENED HER hair again, then stepped away from the mirror. Tony was five minutes late, and she was a nervous wreck. She couldn’t believe he was doing this, but she was so glad. She’d missed Tony horribly, the days stretching on endlessly. She’d wanted so many times to tell Tony of all the little changes she’d noticed. Not even work had filled the void—a situation she had never encountered before.
Until now.
When the knock sounded on the door, she jumped, then raced to answer it. She didn’t want to have to deal with her neighbors today; they’d been hovering over her ever since that night at the hospital. While she appreciated their concern, she didn’t want Tony to know about the risks involved with the pregnancy.
But when she opened the door, Tony stood there surrounded by familiar faces. He gave her an ironic grin, said goodbye to all her neighbors and stepped inside. As she was closing the door again, Hilda called out, “You take good care of her now, you hear? I don’t want to be making any more trips to the hospital.”
Though she could have wished it otherwise, Olivia knew Tony had heard every word. He stared at her, then started to open the door again—to question Hilda she was certain.
“Don’t, Tony.”
“What the hell was that about the hospital?”
She tried to think of some excuse to give him, but he grabbed her shoulders and gave her a slight shake. “No more lies, Olivia. Dammit, just once give me the truth.”
She flinched at his tone, and at his rig
ht to doubt her. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to worry you.”
“Worry me about what? Is the baby okay?”
“The baby is fine.” She rushed past him to the end table to pick up a recent sonogram picture. “This is the baby.”
Tony looked at the odd black and white picture, frowned, then asked, “Where?”
Olivia laughed in delight because his reaction was so much like her own had been. “You can’t really see the baby, it’s so tiny. In fact, right now, it’s only about half an inch long. But did you know, by about eight weeks, it will already be getting fingers and toes?”
Tony stared, then a huge smile broke out over his features. “Fingers and toes, huh?”
Olivia held up the picture and pointed out what she did know, showing Tony her womb and explaining the dark shadows as they’d been explained to her. “My doctor is very big on ultrasound, especially since I didn’t believe I could conceive.”
“Okay, start with that. What exactly happened to you? And how is it you got pregnant when you thought you couldn’t?”
She was so thrilled to have someone to talk all this out with, she took Tony’s hand to lead him to the couch before she could think better of it. She explained her specialized problem at length, and Tony asked a million questions.
“But what happened the other night? Why did you go to the hospital?”
Feeling her way carefully now, not wanting him to know of the risks involved, she said simply, “I had another cyst on my ovary. It was causing me some pain.” And before he could question that, she added, “But that’s a good thing, because otherwise I wouldn’t have gone to the hospital, and I wouldn’t have known I was pregnant. Heaven only knows how far along I would have gotten before I realized what was happening.”
He searched her face, his concern obvious. “You’re sure you’re okay now?”
“I’m positive. They took very good care of me. I felt wretched for a few days, and if you check, you’ll find I missed a few days of work. But now, other than the morning sickness, I feel great.”
“You don’t look pregnant.”
He was staring down at her body, and she felt a flash of heat. Clearing her throat, she tried to distract herself from thinking things she had no business thinking. “According to the book I bought, I won’t start picking up any real weight until after the first three months.”
