by Jill Sanders
When he offered her one, she shook her head. She’d never gotten use to smoking, even though several times undercover she’d had to fake it.
“From what I’ve heard about the case”—he glanced over at her—“you gave the guy what he deserved.”
She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath of chilly night air. “Yes,” she agreed.
“You’re lucky to be alive. Seven other women aren’t.”
“Seven?” She gasped a little and turned towards him.
“The latest count.” He frowned. “Sorry, I thought you knew.”
Her eyes moved to the windows. “I stopped listening to the news after they found the fifth victim. It’s just all… too hard.” She turned and leaned on the railing, looking through the windows. Seeing Brian talking calmly with her mother had her relaxing slightly. Her mother looked a little more shaken up than before.
Why was it she had always hoped to get a rise out of the woman but had never managed it.
She’d gotten her first tattoo at a young age, against her mother’s explicit rules. Her mother, after finding out, calmly told Mia that it was her body and she was free to destroy it if she wanted.
She’d rushed out and gotten even more ink, piercings, and anything else she knew her mother hated. When her mother told her that she didn’t want Mia to become a cop, Mia had instantly decided to join up and picked one of the most dangerous careers she could.
“What’s between you two?” Steve asked, tossing the cigarette butt into the snow. She glanced over at the man. “I’ve known Brian for a few years now. I knew him when he was going through the darkest part of his life. He’s fragile, even though he may not look it now.” He shook his head. “But the man has been through enough in life…”
“Don’t worry.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t hurt people for sport.”
She thought about all the times she’d been left brokenhearted. Wasn’t that why she’d never put herself in a position like she was in now? For the fear of the same thing happening to her?
“I believe you,” he said after a moment. “That doesn’t mean you can’t put your heart out there. Your mother struggles with the same thing.”
She turned towards him. “What do you know about it?”
He chuckled. “Only that it’s a daily battle, getting her to open up. To be… more human.”
Her shoulders sagged and suddenly she realized she wasn’t the only one affected by her mother’s iciness.
“How long have you two been seeing each other?” she asked.
He smiled and made her realize just how much like a movie star he looked.
“Just over a year.” He crossed his arms over his chest like she was doing. “We came here to tell you that we’re getting married.” The news wasn’t a complete shock to her, which must have shown on her face. He chuckled. “It came as a surprise to us.”
“She’s not capable of love.” The words were out before she thought about them.
“It may seem like that, but it’s down there. You just have to look for signs of it.” He smiled. “Like now.” He motioned towards the glass. “See that thing she’s doing with her hands?”
Mia watched her mother tapping her finger on her knee.
“That means she’s upset.” He leaned closer. “Watch the corner of her mouth…” He turned to look at her. “You do the same thing, when you’re about to cry.”
Her mother’s mouth was almost twitching, going from half-smile to flat several times in the matter of a minute.
“She’s upset…” It was strange, but for the first time, Mia looked, actually looked, at her mother. The emotions were written clearly in the woman’s body language, even if they weren’t spoken.
Without saying a word, Mia left Steve on the deck and walked back inside. She stopped directly in front of her mother, who stood up the moment Mia entered the home again.
“I didn’t call you about what happened because I didn’t know how you would respond. I blame myself. I was stupid and pushed and flirted with a crazed man, trying to press him for information. He pushed back… It was bound to happen in this line of work.”
“What happened to you had nothing to do with work,” her mother supplied, shocking her slightly. “Brian’s filled me in on… everything.”
Mia’s eyes moved over to Brian as he sat by the fire.
“I’m sorry,” her mother said in her flat tone. If Steven hadn’t opened her eyes, Mia would have missed the slight flicker in her mother’s eyes that told her she really was sorry.
Without saying anything, Mia wrapped her arms around her mother and held on.
“You’re okay?” her mother asked and Mia closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of one of the first hugs she could remember from her mother.
“I am, thanks to Brian,” she admitted, knowing it was true. Her physical wounds were practically gone, and the emotional ones were healing more every day thanks to her partner.
When she pulled back, her mother reached up and swiped at her eyes. Even though Mia didn’t technically see a tear, she knew that her mother had felt one, which somehow mattered more.
“How about we eat? I’m starving,” Mia suggested. “Brian makes some of the best chili around.” She started walking into the dining room. “It was his grandfather’s recipe.”
For the rest of the meal, the conversation remained lighthearted.
When she asked her mother about her father, for the first time in her life, her mother opened up and told her that her father was half Cherokee Indian. How she’d met him in school and shortly after they had graduated, they had married. Before he’d been killed, her father had been working to get his law degree.
Then Steve and her mother filled them in on how they had met during a case shortly after Steve had moved to Chicago.
“It really is a small world,” Steve joked. “What made you move to Helena?” he asked her.
“A job,” she told him, keeping to herself that she had been trying to get as far from her mother as she could.
“Why did you leave Montana?” Brian asked Steve.
“A job.” He laughed. “It was either that or retirement.” He shrugged. “I’d made it to the top of the food chain where I was. I was tired of doing… well, what you two do. I’m not getting any younger. Besides, I’d been shot at one too many times and decided that sitting behind a desk wasn’t for me either.”
“What is it exactly that you do now?” Mia asked.
“I’m head of Intelligence Research in the Illinois office.”
“That’s quite a step up,” Brian said.
“Yeah, it’s more responsibility, but less getting shot at,” he joked.
“Must be nice,” Brian said, his eyes moving to hers.
Hadn’t she been thinking about something less dangerous herself?
“So, tell me about the case you’re on,” Steve asked Brian.
As Brian filled them in on why they were in Haven, Mia got out the apple pie she’d purchased at the bakery and dished up their dessert. After she made coffee for everyone, they moved back into the living room and Brian threw a few more logs on the fire.
“This place,” her mother asked, breaking in, “how did you get your hands on it?”
“We’re renting it from…” Brian thought about it and then chuckled. “From my aunt.” He shook his head. “Long story.”
“She’s offered to sell it to us.” Mia didn’t know why she’d told them that. After all, their lives were back in Helena. There wasn’t anything in Haven for them to do. Not after they closed the case. If they closed it, that was.
“What’s in Haven beside the case?” Steve asked, looking a little interested.
“Strip clubs,” Mia added dryly. “Lots of them.”
“And oil,” Brian added. “The Thurston McGowan Flathead Drilling Training Center or, as everyone in town is calling it, the McGowan Drilling School.”
“I’d heard about that a few years back when it opened,�
� Steve mentioned, leaning over and setting his empty plate on the coffee table.
“It’s Brian’s cousin’s place,” Mia told them.
Steve turned to him. “You’re a McGowan? They’re one of the top oil families in the States.”
“Technically.” He shrugged.
“Brian found out a while back that his father was Carl McGowan.” She set her own empty plate down.
“He died a few years back, saving his nephew from a madman,” her mother added. “I watched the case carefully.” She shrugged. “When you’re PD, you tend to read up on cases that make the news.”
“That madman was my uncle.” Brian leaned back and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “The whole family is a mess.” He chuckled.
“Was. They seem to have figured things out now,” Mia supplied. “You’ll get to meet them all Christmas day. They’ve invited you two up there for dinner. If you want to go?”
“We’re up for whatever,” Steve added. “We’re staying just on the outskirts of town until after New Year’s. We have to be back at work on the third.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m wishing I would’ve retired instead.”
“Then you wouldn’t have met me.” Her mother reached over and took Steve’s hand in hers.
She didn’t know what shocked her more, her mother’s casual flirting or the physical contact she had made with Steve since arriving. Still, she knew people could change. Brian had convinced her of that.
“Well.” Steve suddenly stood up and pulled her mother up with him. “I hate to cut the evening short, but…” He glanced down at his watch. “Scratch that, it’s past ten.” He chuckled.
They followed them towards the front door and Mia was once again surprised when her mother pulled her into a hug.
“I’m so proud of you. So happy you’re okay,” she whispered into her ear. “I love you.”
Mia was so shocked at her words, that she remained in a frozen state until they left, and Brian shut the door and locked it.
“You okay?” he asked, taking her shoulders in his hands.
Tears started flowing from her eyes. “She told me that she loves me.”
Brian wrapped his arms around her and held her while the tears rolled down her cheeks. “I never thought… she was always the ice queen.” She shook her head.
“People can change. Remember?”
“Yes, but I never thought…”
“Steve’s a pretty great guy,” he said. “I can tell they love one another.”
“They’re getting married,” she blurted out. “It’s why they came here, to tell me.”
“Good for them.” Brian smiled and took her hand, leading her back into the living room.
“Have you ever thought about it?” she asked, after sitting down again.
“Marriage?” he asked, his eyes going to hers. “Everyone thinks about it at one point in their lives.”
“I hadn’t, not until recently.” She leaned back on the sofa and propped her feet up on the coffee table.
“What are your thoughts on it?” he asked, pulling her closer to his chest.
“I used to think it wasn’t right for me,” she admitted.
“And now?”
She looked up at him. “Now, I’m tired of running and being emotionally locked up.”
He held onto her and said softly, “So am I.”
Chapter 24
It was hard being in the middle of a case when Christmas was less than a week away and family kept requesting his time.
Still, Brian found time to meet with Charlie on several more occasions and even hinted to him that he was interested in making some extra cash while they were there.
He’d told the man that his job back home wasn’t as steady as he’d like and that he was thinking of returning to Haven full time.
To begin with, he could tell that Charlie had felt a little threatened, but then he eased the guy’s concerns that he wasn’t looking to play a large part in the venture, just a small one.
“I’ll talk to Reno about it,” Charlie had said. “If he’s interested, he’ll find you.”
Brian knew better than to push his luck and agreed. Since that meeting, he’d had dinner with Mia’s mother and Steve and brunch with his mother and Tom. He’d also tried to spend time with Mia when he could.
Each night he could, he sat in the Spot, hoping that Reno would approach him.
“You’ve made quite a splash in town,” Corey told him, setting a bottle of Bud Light in front of him.
“Yeah.” He groaned. “Just what I wanted. To come home for the holidays and have my woman pissed at me, then attacked, and now…” He shrugged. “I don’t know what we are.”
It was partially the truth. After all, the other evening they had talked about marriage. Did that mean she was wanting to get hitched? He was tired of running and being emotionally locked up.
Hell, he’d even looked at rings at the local jewelry store. It didn’t help his state of mind that he’d found the perfect ring for Mia.
His fathers, both of them, had screwed him early on. The only one who had been solid was his mother. He’d been the one to fuck that relationship up.
Now, however, he was pretty sure things were mended between them. Just like Mia was working on her relationship with Shelby, it was slow going, and they both felt they had to watch every step they took. Yet, together, there was nothing but peace.
Which made it even harder to act like his life was shit.
“How’s she doing?” Corey asked, leaning on the counter. The man had been working every time he’d been in to visit the Spot. Now that Darla was in rehab, the place seemed dead. There were still more than a dozen women working there, but no one had thrown a fit or a beer bottle in days. It was kind of boring.
“Good, much better.” He glanced around the room. “Seems kind of dull without Darla here,” he said, changing the subject. He didn’t like to expose Mia’s problems, especially to strangers.
“Yeah.” Corey chuckled. “Even Cam has complained about it. You know, I think that’s one of the reasons he kept hiring her back each time he fired her.”
Brian chuckled. “It was never dull with her around.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Someone waved to him and he moved off to take their order.
“You Brian?” A skinny guy who had to be no older than twenty-one came up to him.
“Yeah,” he answered, taking a sip of his beer. “Who’s asking?”
The guy sat down on the stool next to his.
“Reno,” he answered. “Heard you were looking for some… work?”
Brian assessed the guy again and slowly nodded, setting his beer down.
“I am. What do you have in mind?”
“Meet me out at the old mill on Hummingbird Lane at midnight.” The guy stood up. “For your initiation,” he said before walking towards the door and leaving.
Brian had been through the wringer before. He knew that most drug dealers, the smart ones anyway, had tests to prove loyalty. Brian hated them but knew they were necessary.
“Buddy of yours?” Corey asked behind him.
“Nope, just asking for directions.” Brian shrugged and downed the rest of his beer. “Guess I’ll head home and see if I can get lucky.” He smiled. “Night.”
“See you tomorrow,” Corey threw back at him.
God, he hoped so. Some of these initiations were downright scary.
Parking the Jeep, he took a moment to clear off the melted snow from the drive and walkway.
Since the other night, they’d had sunny days and clear skies, leaving most of the two feet of snow melting and growing grey and black with mud and dirt. The nights were cold enough to keep refreezing the runoff, leaving everything slick.
When he stepped inside, Mia was sitting at her computer, talking on the phone. After a few minutes, he realized she was talking to Carter.
Walking over, she tapped the phone and put their boss on speakerphone.
“How’s it going?” th
e man asked.
“I just had a meeting with Reno. I’ll send you the details in a while.”
“Did you recognize the guy?” Carter asked.
“Nope, not a local. He had a Boston accent,” he supplied. “Couldn’t be much older than twenty-one. Sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, about six foot, one-hundred-thirty pounds tops. I’ll be scouring the lineups. I should have a name before I head out to meet him.”
“Where?” Mia asked. “When?”
He turned to her. “Tonight, midnight, at an old mill on Hummingbird Lane.” He remembered the place. “Used to belong to the Turner family. Last I heard, they were still living there. But that was over seven years ago.”
“Mia, are you up for backup tonight?” Carter asked.
“Yes,” she said, at the same time he jumped in.
“No.” He narrowed his eyes at her, then turned to the phone. “I don’t need backup…”
“It’s why she’s there. Whether or not you want it, it’s required,” Carter added. “I expect you both to follow protocol.”
“Yes, sir,” both of them answered at the same time.
“Good, now, I’ll let you two get back to it. I’ll expect you to check in tomorrow usual time,” Carter said before hanging up.
“Why don’t you want me to go?” She turned to him instantly.
“It’s not that I don’t want you to go, it’s just…”
“You don’t think I’m ready?” she asked, standing up and moving into the kitchen.
“It’s not that.” He followed her and stood back as she pulled out a soda and drank it.
“Then what?”
It was that. He wanted to make sure she was ready for anything. Damn, he’d talked himself into a corner.
“Nothing.” He sighed. “I’ve got to go check the lineups and see what I can find.” He grabbed a soda and a bag of chips for himself, since he hadn’t had time to eat dinner yet.
For the next two hours, he scoured police photos for the state. He’d even gone as far as looking at the Boston mugshots. If the guy was wanted or had ever been arrested, Brian hadn’t stumbled across his mug shot yet.
Feeling frustrated, he headed upstairs to change, knowing he would need a few more layers of clothing on if he was going to stay warm and protected. Mia was up there, dressing in all black jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. The fact that she was putting on her body vest had his gut twisting.
