by Alyse Anders
“One night there was a fire.” She frowned, the lines around her eyes and mouth deepening. “It was one of the makeshift apartment buildings that so many people have no choice but to live in. There’s a lot of poverty on Earth, so people must do whatever they can to survive. The building…there were a lot of people inside. By the time the first responders arrived, there wasn’t a lot we could do to help.” A tear rolled down her cheek, though she made no move to brush it away.
“There are some horrors that cannot be unseen. We carry that burden with us and honor those who have passed on.” Zee had his own burdens that he carried – Rennick being the largest.
The urge to go to Mags, pull her into his arms and reassure her that everything would be better now that she was here with him was almost too much for him to resist. Somehow, he managed to hold back, sensing there was still more to her story.
“Yeah, well I didn’t do so well with it. I ended up leaving the service and spending a lot of time sitting on rooftops staring at the stars in the night’s sky. Well, what little of it you can see. I don’t know if it was because I was mentally not okay, but I became a bit hyper fixated on a specific star. I mean, I was able to find it every single time I’d look up, which was bizarre because I was never a person to care about space stuff.”
He knew from what Hallam had told him that the reaction had been similar for the other women on the ship. They’d all been drawn here, though none of them understood the whys or hows of the situation. “You said your friends did not understand?”
“They thought I was having a bit of a nervous breakdown or dealing with PTSD.” She rolled her eyes. “Not that you know what either of those mean.”
That wasn’t what his people called it, but Zee was more than aware of the condition. “After the Sholle attacked, the Grus who survived the battles, those who hadn’t died and been transformed into Fallen, many developed a condition we call shaetal.”
Mags smiled softly. “That’s a beautiful sounding word for what I imagine is a horrible condition.”
“It is.” Even after his re-birth, Zee had struggled with some of the memories his matrix was unable to fully contain. Seeing the problems some of the Grus soldiers dealt with and the condition they’d end up in afterward, Zee had been grateful he’d been spared that affliction.
Even if his own transformation had been far worse.
“When I heard that Lena was bringing a ship out here, to the exact sector of space where my star was, I knew I had to come out here. The city was a constant reminder to me of all the hardships, poverty and pain that so many people lived in. I’d walk past a building and I’d be hit with images of burnt bodies and hear screaming in my head. It was either leave Earth and take a chance on something else or go mad.”
Mags was every bit of a survivor that he was. They truly were connected.
He stood, and Mags sat back in her seat to look up at him. With the possessive lust temporarily under control, he was able to take a breath and really look at her, see her as she was for the first time. Not her physical appearance, but the aura and essence that comprised who she was as an individual. Zee knew that if the situation had been different, he would still have noticed Mags. She had a presence to her that immediately drew his attention. He wanted more, wanted to feel what it would be like to become close to a woman such as herself.
Holding out his hand, he looked into her eyes. He had no words to say, and perhaps he didn’t need any. He understood who she was, and a measure of the pain she’d experienced. For her part, Mags looked at his hand and then up at his cybernetics on his head.
She slowly reached out and set her hand in his, getting to her feet as she did. “I guess I didn’t come all this way to back out at the last minute.”
“We don’t need to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” Zee hoped that wasn’t a lie, because at the touch of her skin against his, the itching in his head increased and it became difficult to keep from picking her up to carry to the bed.
Mags looked into his eyes and after a few moments, she smiled. “Fuck it.”
A bolt of anticipation surged through him. “Are you sure?”
She nodded as her cheeks darkened. “I am.”
With her permission voiced, Zee gave in to his needs, scooped her up and carried her over to the bed.
Chapter Six
Mags didn’t know what to expect when she’d initially been placed into cryo sleep, but finding herself flat on her back on a bed with a half-naked cyborg standing over her about to have sex for the first time wasn’t even on the list. She’d tried her best not to stare at the cybernetic implant that took up a huge portion of the side of Zee’s head, but now that she was literally going to be face-to-face with him, she was going to need to get used to what she was seeing.
Zee either didn’t care about what she thought about his implants, or he’d grown so used to the myriad of reactions people must have had over the years, that there was nothing she could say or do that would surprise or upset him.
He started to reach for her pants, when Zee hesitated. “I want to take your clothing off.”
While he was asking for her permission, she got the impression that they were mostly at the point where she’d said let’s fuck and didn’t regret it, but he was still struggling to keep hold of his control. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for them to have this uncontrollable lust he needed to sate, but didn’t want to hurt or scare the object of his desire. The fact that he was hesitating at all reassured her that whatever was about to happen would end up being fun for her. All she needed to do was help him get past this one little bump.
“Zee, you have my permission to do whatever you want, as long as I get one hell of an amazing orgasm out of this.”
It was weird being able to see the sudden loosening of his control snap behind his eyes. A shiver of excited anticipation rolled through her so fast, her clit pulsed from the rush of adrenaline. Yeah, while she might not know Zee or exactly what was happening between them, there was a part of her that knew what was going to happen in the next few moments between them would be memorable.
For his part, Zee was clearly past the point of restraint. He grabbed her pants and pulled them off her legs with two quick, hard jerks. The motion was so fast that it ended up taking one of her socks off with them. The air in the room was cool, more so than she was normally comfortable with. She flexed her toes against the chill and hoped that sex with Zee would be hot enough to warm her up.
Zee’s gaze was roaming down the length of her legs, pausing to look at a spot on her inner thigh. He frowned, as he reached to pull her legs apart. “You have no rondollo. How does your race feel pleasure?”
“I don’t know what that means?” It was odd for the word to not translate in her head considering how flawlessly everything else appeared to work. “But human females have a spot on our bodies called a clitoris and it more than does the job for us when it comes to pleasure.”
Reaching between her legs, she slid her fingers along either side of her clit, bracketing it so he could see better to what she was referring. Sure, she might not have had sex with another person, but she was no stranger to pleasure. Mags often masturbated, her mind bringing a mental picture of a man to the forefront whenever she touched herself. Looking into Zee’s eyes somehow brought her dream lover to mind.
She was already moist, and it was easy to slick her pubic hair to the side. She hated having hair there, but when she’d been arranging to come out here, she had no idea what she’d have for resources once they landed. Razors didn’t seem to be a priority for her to pack.
And given how fascinated Zee was by the hair, maybe it was the right decision after all.
Zee pushed her hand aside and took over the duty of exploring her body. His hands were large, his fingers long and as they caressed the folds of her pussy, teased and rubbed the sensitive spots around her clit, Mags closed her eyes and let herself succumb to the sensations. When he pressed his thumb on the swolle
n spot of her clit above the hood, she gasped, her hips bucking in response.
“Are all human women this responsive?” He lowered his mouth and licked up the inside of her thigh.
“I can’t speak for everyone, just myself.” Another groan slipped past her lips when he bit down on the fleshy inner thigh. “And you can use your mouth on my clit if you want. I really have no objections.”
Zee made a noise that seemed to originate somewhere deep in the back of his throat before he shifted his body and got into a position where he could do as she asked. He didn’t jump right in and suck on her clit, instead taking time to breathe in deeply before he licked around the juncture of her legs and body, and ran his tongue across the strands of her pubic hair.
“It holds the taste of your essence.” Another lick, this time dangerously close to the one spot she knew would make her lose control. “You make the most interesting noises when I do this.”
This time he moved his mouth and his tongue lapped directly on her clit. Mags bucked her hips as she gasped, her hands flying to his head wanting to hold him in place while keeping herself grounded. God, why had she been so reluctant to have a physical relationship with someone? This felt fucking amazing.
Zee’s movements were jerky, as though he didn’t know where to focus his attention. His hands explored the length of her legs, up across her stomach, hesitating on her breasts. When he captured her nipple between his fingers and pinched, Mags gasped and tried to turn away from the intensity of the feeling. Thankfully, Zee let go and instead rubbed her swollen nipple with his thumb.
The amount of wetness between her thighs was embarrassing. Not that Zee seemed to mind at all, as he continued to lick around her pussy, moving from her clit to her inner thighs, and lower to her opening.
And even lower than that.
Mags gasped and tried to pull away, but he pressed a hand against her stomach to keep her in place. “I can tell it feels good for you.”
How the hell was he aware of her emotions, of how she was feeling about anything, let alone sex? “Are your people empathic?”
“No. I’ve never experienced this with anyone other than yourself.”
It would be difficult to handle a lover who could tell what felt good for her and what didn’t. It was as though he knew before she did what her body could handle and what was too much. This was still all so new to her, and she couldn’t help but have a part of her that wanted to hide herself away, embarrassed by the sounds coming from her. But every time she did, Zee knew and physically pulled her back. He’d slide his hands to the exact spot she didn’t know she’d wanted to be touched and overwhelm her with pleasure.
When he pushed his finger inside her, Mags gasped and lost the will to fight him any longer.
She felt full. The sensations weren’t entirely foreign to her – there were plenty of dildos she’d used over the years – but silicone couldn’t compete with the heat of Zee’s hand. He turned his hand and crooked his finger in such a way that pleasure heated her entire groin and well up into her belly. Her orgasm was just there, sitting on the edge waiting for her to fall. Mags didn’t want to, not yet, not when she was just starting to get familiar with the way Zee felt.
But there was no holding back when he shifted his mouth once more to her clit and flicked his tongue across the swollen nub. Mags opened her mouth to scream, but the air refused to leave her lungs. Pleasure hit her hard, her body trembled as her muscles tightened and she bowed up off the bed. Zee continued to fuck her with his finger and suck her clit, pushing her farther than she’d ever experienced before. Waves of her orgasm rolled through every cell in her body, blocking out every thought she could have formed, and left her only aware of Zee and the intensity of her release.
When she didn’t think she could take another second more, Zee pulled back, releasing her from the intensity of her feeling so she could collapse in a sweating, gasping heap back onto the mattress. He didn’t move immediately and continued to stroke the inside of her thighs and the slick curls between her legs.
Exhaustion threatened to pull her into sleep, but there was no way she was going to stop before she felt him press his cock inside her. She knew he’d become an addiction for her if she wasn’t careful. Without opening her eyes, she tugged on his hand and hoped he understood what she wanted him to do.
Zee moved quickly and with a precision Mags couldn’t imagine a human being able to accomplish. Using his powerful arms, he held himself above her body, stretched out to completely cover her if he dropped his weight. He didn’t immediately do that though, instead looking down at her with a hunger she’d never seen directed her way before. She tried to hold his gaze, but couldn’t, instead turning her head to the side with a sigh.
Zee let out a strangled groan. “You’re fucking beautiful.”
He lowered his body onto hers, the length of his cock pressed against the inside of her thigh. The heat of his breath brushed across the skin of her neck and shoulder as he rubbed his lips back and forth. The first brush of his teeth against her skin sent a jolt of fear-tinged anticipation through her that somehow mixed with her renewed arousal.
What she wasn’t anticipating was the bite. It didn’t hurt much when he opened his mouth and increased pressure on her shoulder, mostly because she was distracted by the tip of his cock pressing to gain entrance into her pussy. Mags opened her legs wider and moved her hands across his wide shoulders and thick neck, to cup the back of his head. The first full thrust inside her stole her breath yet again. This was miles away from a dildo; the heat and girth of him, the feel of skin on skin as he withdrew just far enough to be able to fill her to capacity – there was no mistaking any of it for anything other than a man.
Zee’s thrusts grew in intensity and she could feel the remnants of his control begin to slip away. His body shook as he rolled and bucked his hips, increasing pressure of his inner thighs against her body. For the first time since they’d started, Mags felt as though she were clinging to a lifeline while force of nature tried to consume her. There was a bond between them, but it was new and tenuous, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it would be strong enough to survive.
If she was strong enough to survive.
The pressure of his mouth on her shoulder had increased to the point of pain, but unlike before, he seemed to be unaware of her discomfort. She wanted to pull away, but even as she tried a pulse of pleasure surged through her. God, this was fucked up – pleasure and pain mixing in such a way that she couldn’t tell where one sensation started and the other ended. She bucked her hips up to meet his thrusts, putting her clit in contact with his body.
Shit, she was going to come again.
It was then that Mags lost the ability to control her body, to stop from doing anything other than reacting to the sensations that were flooding her body and mind. Zee pulled his mouth away from her shoulder, lifted his head and let out a roar that reverberated through her body. That was all she needed to push her headlong into her second orgasm in a matter of moments. It was all too much for her, and she let exhaustion pull her into sleep.
Mags had no idea how much time had passed when he once again opened her eyes. Zee had shifted them onto their sides and shew was now nestled in his embrace.
“You’re awake.” He tightened his grip. “I was concerned that I’d hurt you.”
Pain from her shoulder chose that moment to begin to throb. “You did a little.” She’d have to see if she could fix that up on her own, and if not then see Hallam could do something to help heal her. “Is that something you normally do?”
“I’m not certain.” He released his hold on her and sat up. “There are no rules when it comes to this. Those of us who are Fallen and have been re-born are not normally in relationships.”
There was something about the way he said relationships that send a chill through her. “Why not?”
“We lack emotions beyond anger.”
Her eyes were drawn to the glow of the cybernetics on his head
. It was difficult to reconcile the idea that the man sitting in front of her wasn’t supposed to be here, that he’d died and somehow had been brought back to life. Not only that, he apparently didn’t come back whole.
Pulling herself into a sitting position, Mags reached for her shirt that had been discarded onto the floor. “I know we don’t know each other very well, but I get the impression there’s more to your distrust of relationships than being a cyborg.”
Zee tensed. “I’ll need to return to the prison soon. There are reports to be made. You’ll stay here with Hallam.”
There were many things Mags could tolerate when it came to the behavior of others but being dismissive wasn’t one. “I don’t think that’s your decision to make.”
Zee looked back at her, his glowing gray eyes narrowed. “You know nothing of this planet or the people on it.”
“You’re right, I don’t. But I’ve never been a person to stand on the sidelines and let things happen. I’m not about to start now.”
Zee got to his feet and quickly dressed. “I’ll speak to Hallam and arrange for you to have this room. They can bring your belongings from the ship and you’ll be made comfortable.”
“Is this how the others treat their supposed mates?” Maybe there wasn’t as strong of a connection between their two people as the others assumed. “Fuck them and leave them behind?”
Mags knew she’d landed a blow when he growled and strode toward the door. “Do as I say!” He didn’t look back as the door closed behind him.
Watching him leave, she realized that a gauntlet had been thrown at her feet and that she was surprisingly prepared to pick it up. Game on.
Chapter Seven
Mags took her time getting dressed and rejoining the others. She wasn’t surprised to see Lena and Ina casting curious glances her way when she joined them, no doubt wondering how close to their experience hers had been. She was curious as well, but given how Zee had left things with her, now might not exactly be the best time to compare notes.
