“I guess you’re right.” The two women chatted for a few minutes, and Liz said that Jean-Louis was going back to Paris over the weekend. She was flying over to meet him the day after Christmas, spend a week with him, and then she had to work. She was trying to get him assigned to her shoot. It would be fun working with him if she could. “Is this getting serious?” Annie asked, and Liz just laughed at her.
“I don’t know what you’d call it. Neither of us goes out with anyone else, so it’s exclusive, but we’re not making plans for the future or anything. We’re too young for that.” Annie wasn’t so sure. Some women were ready to settle down at twenty-eight. Others weren’t. Lizzie wasn’t. And Jean-Louis didn’t seem to want to settle down either. They were having too much fun in their own lives. And Jean-Louis had apparently not felt too young to have a son, since he had a five-year-old at twenty-nine. It made Annie nervous to realize that he had been Ted’s age when he had a child. She couldn’t even imagine it. Ted still seemed like a kid to her. And so did Kate at twenty-one. And Annie couldn’t see Liz with Jean-Louis long term. He just didn’t seem like the right man to her. He was no better or worse than the others Lizzie had gone out with. She always went out with someone who, like her, wanted no commitment. Annie had other dreams for her, like a serious man who would take care of her. And Annie couldn’t imagine Jean-Louis as anyone’s father, nor as the husband Lizzie deserved. And at twenty-eight it wasn’t unreasonable to be thinking about her future. Annie didn’t want her to end up alone like her. It worked for her, but she wanted something more for Liz. Jean-Louis wasn’t it. Ted and Kate were far too young to worry about long-term partners yet. They were still just kids, and still in school, but Liz was an adult.
Annie finally reached Ted on Sunday night, when he got back to his apartment, and she was relieved to hear him, although he sounded a little sick.
“Are you okay? Do you have a cold?”
“I’m fine.” He smiled at her concern. He couldn’t help wondering how she would react to Pattie, but he wasn’t ready to share the news of her arrival in his life yet, so he kept it to himself. “I’m just tired. I’ve been working really hard all week.” He certainly had, but not in the way Annie thought.
“At least you’ll get a nice break over Christmas,” Annie said kindly, which reminded Ted that he had talked to Pattie that week about going skiing with him after Christmas. She had said she’d have to check with her ex-husband about his taking the kids, and Ted was looking forward to taking a trip with her, if they could stay out of bed long enough to get on skis.
Annie reminded Ted to come home for dinner anytime he wanted and suggested it for the following weekend, but he was vague. She didn’t know why, but Annie had the distinct impression that there was something he wasn’t telling her, and suddenly she wondered again about a new girl in his life. Annie smiled at the idea and wondered if it was someone at law school with him.
Ted knew only too well, when he thought about it later, that not in a million years would Annie suspect that he was involved with a thirty-six-year-old assistant law professor with two kids. And he knew for sure that he wouldn’t be able to tell her for a long time. First he had to get used to the idea himself.
Chapter 6
The days before Christmas were, as always, utterly insane. Annie had five job sites under construction at once, two with completion dates just after the new year. She visited all five of them every day. It snowed twice the week before Christmas, which made it nearly impossible to get around. She had Christmas shopping to do for her nieces and nephew, her assistants, and Whitney and her brood. Two new clients insisted on meetings, and she had to come up with a set of preliminary plans for one of them. It was predictable preholiday chaos, and she was always worried she wouldn’t get everything done. And to complicate matters further, her favorite clients, the Ebersohls, had announced that they had decided to get divorced and were planning to sell the new house. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, since remodeling or building a house brought out the worst in everyone. It was a painful process, and a perfect setting for endless arguments. Alicia Ebersohl had called her in tears to tell her that Harry was filing for divorce. The house on Sixty-ninth Street was completely torn up, which would make it difficult to sell. Annie was disappointed to hear it, but much more so for them.
And Liz was almost as busy at the magazine. By Christmas, she was finishing up her work for the March issue and already starting on April. She was trying to get everything done before she left for Paris. And she was missing Jean-Louis. He had been especially sweet since his recent trip to New York and was calling her several times a day. He said he could hardly wait for her to come, and she was excited about it too. After spending Christmas with the family, Liz was planning to leave the next day. And Jean-Louis promised that he and his son would be waiting for her. She was bringing the boy a beautiful antique train that had been modernized to run on batteries. And a very handsome watch for Jean-Louis.
Ted spent every moment he could with Pattie before the holidays. The ski trip they’d been planning fell through, since her ex-husband was going away himself and wouldn’t take the kids, so they were going to be stuck in New York. Ted was planning to spend time with them, but he had strong feelings about the propriety of staying at her apartment when her children were there, and Pattie agreed, although it was a sacrifice for them.
Ted had final exams and got passing grades, although they were noticably lower than usual. And he was embarrassed when he discovered that Pattie had given him an A in her class that he felt he didn’t deserve.
“Is that because I earned it,” he asked her honestly, “or because we’re having an affair?”
“We’re not having an affair,” she answered quietly. “I’m in love with you. But yes, you deserved the grade too.”
“I’m not sure if I believe that,” but he would never know. And Pattie was always adamant about correcting him when he talked about their “affair” or their sexual relationship by saying that they were in love. Ted had not yet said the words, and he knew that when he did, the woman he said them to would be in his life forever. Until then, in his mind, they were having an affair. Lately Pattie cried whenever he said that to her, and she looked deeply wounded by his words. He didn’t want to mislead her, and he wasn’t sure if he was in lust or in love.
He had hardly talked to Annie and his sisters since Thanksgiving. He just didn’t have the time, and he was always with Pattie now, whenever he wasn’t asleep or in school. She wanted to know when she was going to meet his family, and Ted had told her gently but firmly that it was too soon. He knew that he cared about Pattie, but he hadn’t figured out yet what was happening between them. And he knew without a doubt that his aunt and sisters would be extremely shaken up by her age and the fact that she had kids. Ted wasn’t ready to face the hurdle of their opinions yet. And Pattie was hurt by that too. She said she didn’t want to be the secret in his life, and she reminded him just before Christmas that that wasn’t fair to her. She wanted to be front and center in his life, not hidden in a closet. She said she was better than that, and she was extremely upset that he had told her he wouldn’t be able to see her on Christmas. He was going to be at home with Annie and his sisters, and there was no way he could invite Pattie to come by with her kids. Annie would have had a fit, and he wasn’t willing to deal with that yet. Annie had no idea she existed, let alone that she was an older woman with two kids.
“So what am I supposed to do?” Pattie asked him plaintively when he stopped by on Christmas Eve. She had been crying for the past hour about him leaving her. “What do you expect me to do? Just sit here alone with my kids?”
“What would you normally do, if we hadn’t met? What did you do last year?”
“Hank had the kids, and I cried myself to sleep.” Ted looked upset, but there was no way he could spend Christmas with her. And at least her ex wasn’t taking the kids this year, so Ted knew she wouldn’t be alone.
“I�
�ll try to come over the day after Christmas, or Christmas night.”
“And what about later tonight?” Pattie asked, dabbing at her eyes.
“I can’t. I told you, we have dinner at home and go to midnight mass.”
“How touching, and how un-Christian to leave the woman you love sitting at home alone.”
“You’ll be with Jessica and Justin,” he said gently. “And I can’t do anything about it. My aunt wouldn’t understand if I went out tonight. It’s our tradition.” She made him feel like Scrooge.
“You sound like you’re twelve years old,” Pattie complained, and then she looked disappointed when he gave her a beautiful white cashmere sweater that had cost him a fortune. She didn’t say it to him in words, but the message came across clearly that she had hoped for something like a ring, a promise ring of some kind. She had been talking about it for days, giving him strong hints, but Ted felt it was too soon. They had only been dating for four weeks, and as much in love as Pattie said they were, it still seemed very new to Ted. There was plenty of time for a ring of some kind later. He was not thirty-six years old like her, he was only twenty-four, and this was only the second serious relationship he’d ever had.
The compromise they finally came to was that he would try to drop by for a while on Christmas night, but he had already warned her that he couldn’t spend the night, whether her kids were there or not. Pattie had been talking about paying Mrs. Pacheco to have them sleep in her apartment if he came by, but he said he would have to go back to Annie’s after a few hours. She would be suspicious of what he was up to if he didn’t.
“Maybe it’s time for you to grow up,” Pattie said unkindly. “You fuck like a man, maybe you should act like one too.” He was hurt by what she said, and she was looking petulant when he kissed her goodbye and left. She said she’d give him his present when he came back on Christmas night. And there was an edge to her voice as she said it. He took a cab to Annie’s, and Kate was already at the apartment when he got there. When she saw him walk in, she looked intently at her brother.
“Wow, what are you so pissed about? You don’t exactly look like the spirit of Christmas. What did you get Annie?”
“A cashmere shawl, and a personalized hard hat. It’s really cute, I think she’ll like it.” He hadn’t answered his sister’s question about why he was angry. He had been upset about Pattie and what she had said when he left her, because he couldn’t spend Christmas Eve with her. She refused to understand that he just couldn’t, and he hated to leave her on a sour note, but she had still been pouting and gave him the cold shoulder when he left. It had seriously upset him, particularly when she’d told him to act like a man. “I’m not pissed, by the way. I just had an argument with one of my roommates before I came here. He’s an asshole.”
Kate didn’t say anything to him, but she had the odd feeling something else was bothering him. “Annie will love the hard hat, and the shawl sounds cool too.” She smiled lovingly at her brother.
“What did you get her?” For a minute it felt like being kids again, while they wrapped their gifts for her together.
“I didn’t get her anything,” Kate said with a serious expression.
“You didn’t?” Ted looked stunned. That wasn’t like her. Kate was always generous with them all, despite a limited allowance. But she was always very creative about how she spent it.
“I made her something,” she said, and Ted smiled, thinking back to the old days, when he had made Annie a table in wood shop, and Lizzie had knit Annie a sweater with gigantically long arms. And Annie had worn it on Christmas Day. She had worn their macaroni necklaces too, and everything they gave her.
Kate went to get her portfolio then and carefully took out three large panels with watercolor paintings on them. She turned them around one by one, and Ted caught his breath in amazement. Sometimes he actually forgot how talented his younger sister was, just like their mother. She had done exquisite portraits of each of them to give Annie, and the likenesses were absolutely perfect, even the self-portrait she had done.
“They’re gorgeous, Kate,” Ted said, studying them at close range. They were flawless, but they also had all the softness of paintings, and didn’t look like they’d been done from photographs. She had done them from memory, and each one was a painting he knew their aunt would treasure. “They’re really fantastic!”
“I hope she likes them,” Katie said modestly, and then put them carefully back in the portfolio. She was going to wrap them that night and offer to frame them afterward for Annie. “So what have you been up to?” Katie asked him casually after she put away the paintings and they both collapsed on the couch. Annie had put up a Christmas tree for them, with all the favorite decorations they loved. She had spent a whole day and night doing it the previous weekend.
“Nothing much. Just papers and exams,” he said, and as Kate looked at him, she knew that he was lying. Something was up, and he wasn’t telling. Her woman’s intuition told her it was a woman. She couldn’t wait to tell Liz and Annie. And they had already all agreed that he had hardly called any of them since Thanksgiving.
“What about you?” Ted asked, trying to get the attention off himself. “New pierces, new tattoos, new men?”
“Maybe,” Katie said cryptically. She had her own secrets too.
“Oh?” He looked intrigued. “Which one?”
“Maybe all three,” she said, and then laughed as Ted flipped on the TV. They were watching Miracle on 34th Street when Annie got home, carrying her briefcase and two bags of groceries of things she had forgotten to order that morning. They always had a simple dinner on Christmas Eve, and she prepared a turkey on Christmas Day, just as she did on Thanksgiving. She had tried to make goose one year and it was awful, so they stuck with turkey.
Ted got up and took the two bags into the kitchen for her, and Katie went to kiss her aunt hello. Annie looked exhausted and breathless. She had been at one of her construction sites an hour before, to resolve a problem between the contractor and her clients. She still had the plans in a roll under her arm and tossed them on her desk before taking off her coat.
“Merry Christmas, everyone!” Annie called out to them both, took off her coat, and turned on some Christmas music. Katie complimented her on the tree, and Ted poured them each a glass of eggnog, which was another family tradition. Annie usually added a drop of bourbon to hers, but Kate and Ted liked it plain, just the way they had drunk it as kids. They were all talking animatedly when Liz walked in, carrying three shopping bags full of presents. She always bought the most extravagant gifts of all, and they loved them. Liz was in high spirits as they all wished each other a merry Christmas, and after admiring the tree, and singing to the music, they all cooked dinner together. It was a perfect Christmas Eve. Liz had promised to stay there until she left for Paris, and Annie loved having them all home.
They sat chatting at the kitchen table until nearly eleven, then got ready to leave for midnight mass. Kate noticed Ted making a call as she walked past his open bedroom door. And she heard him leave someone a message. He sounded upset and looked worried when he joined the others in the front hall. She had made a call herself when she went to get her coat, but it had been friendly and short, and she’d promised to call the next morning. Tonight was a family time that was important to all of them.
They took a cab to St. Patrick’s, where they went to midnight mass every year. Only Annie took communion, and as she did every year, they watched her light candles for Bill and Jane. She knelt at one of the smaller altars after she did it, bowed her head, and prayed, and there were tears running down her cheeks when she stood up. It always brought tears to Kate’s eyes to watch her. She had never asked, but she knew who the candles were for. Her parents weren’t forgotten, and Annie had been wonderful to their children ever since they’d been gone. Ted gave Annie a hug as she slipped back into the pew, and Kate gently held her hand. Liz was looking strikingly chic as usual, in a huge white fox hat and an elegant bl
ack coat with tall black leather boots. She reminded Annie so much of Jane at the same age. She was more stylish than her mother had been, but her face was almost the same. It made Annie’s heart ache sometimes to see it. She still missed her.
They sang “Silent Night” at the end of the mass, and afterward they walked out onto Fifth Avenue and took a cab home. Annie made them hot chocolate with marshmallows, and then finally everyone went to bed. And after they did, Annie filled their stockings with little thoughtful presents and wrote them funny notes from Santa, reminding each of them to clean their rooms and wash behind their ears, and on Kate’s Santa letter she added a note that she would find coal in her stocking next year if she got any more tattoos. And then Annie went to sleep in the peaceful apartment, grateful that all the people she loved most in the world were home and sound asleep in their rooms. It was her favorite night of the year. It didn’t get better than this.
Chapter 7
On Christmas morning Annie got up early to put the turkey in the oven, and she called her friend Whitney, as she had for so many years. They wished each other a merry Christmas, chatted for a few minutes, and Whitney reminded her again to come on New Year’s Eve, but Annie still insisted that she didn’t want to go to New Jersey if one of the kids would be home alone. She never minded staying home on New Year’s Eve, it had never been a night that meant much to her, and she hated to be around people getting drunk, with no one to kiss at midnight, which made her feel more alone than staying home.
“I’ll see,” Annie promised Whitney. “I have to see what the kids are up to. Lizzie is going to Paris tomorrow, but the other two will be here. And as far as I know, neither of them has any plans.”
“Well, come if you can,” Whitney said warmly. “We’d love to have you … and have a merry Christmas, Annie. Give my love to the kids.”
“And mine to Fred and the boys.”
Family Ties Page 6
