by Anthology
“I can’t get enough of you, Jagger.”
“I’ve wanted you since the second I first saw you.”
“You have me,” I tell him.
For a moment suspended in time, he slows his movements, gazes deeply into my eyes, and something more meaningful than sex passes between us. He’ll deny it, he’ll run from it, and he’ll still walk away from me in the end. But it’s there regardless.
His speed increases and the intense sensation multiplies, bringing me closer and closer to the pinnacle of our pleasure. My fingers dig into his shoulders as I hold on to this moment as long as I can. I’m no longer able to control my body’s reaction and Jagger completely finishes me as I cry out his name. He immediately follows as he holds himself as deep inside of me as he can get.
His muscles relax and his body collapses on top of mine, totally spent. When he turns his head and sweetly kisses my cheek, his lips linger a little longer than necessary. Of all the intimate acts we’ve experienced tonight, that single kiss affects me the most. I’m doing the very thing I said I wouldn’t do.
I’m falling for Jagger York.
I have to end this. How many times have I told myself that?
He slides off of me and goes straight to the bathroom. While he’s cleaning up, I throw on a pair of pajamas, straighten the covers, and grab a couple of bottled waters from the refrigerator. When I walk back into my bedroom, Jagger is waiting for me in the bed.
“You’re dressed.” He sounds disappointed.
“I brought you a water. Thirsty?” I hand him the bottle and ignore his observation.
“Sure. I need to rehydrate for round two,” he smirks.
Maybe I should wait and end this after the weekend is over.
“Only if you insist,” I quip.
“Actually, I do insist. I’m kind of feeling like I’m the girl here and you’re the one who’s about to send me packing.”
I laugh nervously. Am I that transparent?
“What the fuck, Mali? You were planning to,” he accuses.
“I don’t want you to leave, Jagger,” I say sincerely, truthfully. I don’t want him to go. I don’t want this to end, but that’s exactly why it has to. My answer satisfies him for now and he tugs on my arm to pull me into bed with him.
“You better be glad you said that,” he says as he drapes his arm over me. “You’re spending the whole weekend with me. No dive practice. We have to play at the club Saturday night and I want you there with me.”
“Okay,” I agree.
My heart hurts and is full at the same time. I’m excited about having the weekend with him, spending time with him, and just having fun together. But my heart breaks in two just knowing that when this weekend ends, so do we. I finally fall asleep wrapped protectively in his embrace.
Jagger wakes me up in the middle of the night as he removes my clothes. His mouth and hands worship my body, giving me more pleasure than I’ve ever had. Rolling him over on his back, I give him every ounce of love in me.
These are the memories I want to keep with me–the times when his guard is down and I see glimpses of the real Jagger. Not the public persona, but the man with a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. My eyes, hands, and mouth roam over his body, searing the vision of it firmly in my mind. His moans of pleasure when I take him fully into my mouth spur me on. His hands cover my head, tighten in my hair as his climax builds, and I don’t stop until I’ve taken every last drop from him.
I can’t help but wonder if he senses the change in me when he suddenly sits straight up. His hands cup my face. The beam of moonlight streaming in through the window is our only light, but I can clearly see his face, as if we were in broad daylight. He searches my face and my eyes, shakes his head from side to side, and furrows his brows.
“What is it, Jagger?” I ask, trying to act normal.
“Nothing,” he replies. “Let’s go back to sleep.”
“Time to wake up,” Jagger says as he drags his fingertips across my eyelids.
“You’re way too cheerful early in the morning,” I grumble.
He laughs. “Babe, it’s not early in the morning. It’s past eleven.”
I open one eye to peek at him. “Are you serious?”
“Yep. We should already be at my house, firing up the grill and getting the food ready to cook. Everyone will be there soon and my poor parents will be there to chaperone alone.”
“Okay, I’ll get up. But only because your parents are great,” I concede. “Is Bimbo coming over today?”
“No, Dane dumped her this week.”
“Really? Why?”
He shrugs one shoulder and looks away. “He’s not into relationships. She’s not the type of girl any guy would get serious about anyway.”
“What type is that?” I ask defensively.
“You know, the kind that screws more frequently than a Phillips head screwdriver.”
“That’s not fair,” I retort. “He’s probably worse about hopping from bed to bed than she is.”
“She knew what she was getting into, Mali. He only wanted to use her for sex and he didn’t hide it from her. She chose to accept it, so she can’t blame him,” he reasoned.
It’s ironic how much the one I refer to as Bimbo sounds like me in our current arrangement.
“I’d better get in the shower so we can get to your house before everyone else.”
“I’ll join you.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and jumps off the bed. I guess that would be the green thing to do.
CHAPTER TWELVE
MALI
AFTER OUR FORTY-FIVE minute shower, we’re finally on our way to Jagger’s house for another day by the pool with his family and friends. His mom greets us as we walk in the door.
“Mali, I’m so glad you came today.” She pulls me into a warm embrace. “Dwayne and I have told Jagger all week to bring you back.”
“My weeks are pretty full,” I explain. “I practice diving and exercise every day. There’s not a lot of down time when you’re training for the Olympic preliminaries.”
“I guess not,” she replies. “It’s very impressive, though.”
Jagger leaves us to change into his swimming trunks, so Marlene and I take a seat to spend time just chatting. The more I get to know her, the more I love her. She asks all about my family, diving, the upcoming Olympic trials, and what it all means for my future.
Before I realize it, Jagger has already finished grilling all the food and the guys are busy eating. Marlene and I are still busy chatting, and I love every minute of it. That’s how I know what’s about to come next, and how I dread being the one who has to say no.
“We should go do something together one day this week,” Marlene suggests, as I knew she would.
“I’ll just have to see what my schedule is like,” I hesitate. “Honestly, I don’t normally do anything else during the week.”
“Mom,” Jagger calls from the doorway. “I’ve already told you that I don’t even get to see her during the week. Both of you need to come eat before these pigs eat it all.”
Marlene and I walk into the kitchen and join the conversation already in progress. Jagger comes up behind me as I’m piling food on my plate. “Sorry about that. I’ve tried to tell her.”
“It’s okay,” I reply, keeping my voice low. “It’s not that I don’t want to do things with her. I literally can’t.”
“I know, babe.” He kisses my cheek. “Don’t sweat it.”
Vince and Jennifer pick that moment to walk in and witness what our friends have suspected for the last several weeks. I haven’t asked him, but I wonder if Jagger has told his band the truth about us. It’s not that I’m hiding our relationship from Jennifer. But, I have been going out of my way to not tell Jennifer about it, let her see any evidence of it, or allow her to hear anything about it from anyone else.
“What the hell is this?” she blurts out.
“What?” Jagger asks, clueless.
“Why did you just
kiss her?” Looking at me, she continues her rant. “Why did he just kiss you? And what are you even doing here?”
Dwayne steps around the corner and chimes in. “Why wouldn’t she be here? Mali is Jagger’s girlfriend. Isn’t that right, son?”
Here we are, standing between one of my best friends and my–whatever he is, and we’re caught red handed in our lie. I have no idea how we get out of this predicament without looking like complete morons. Clearly, I didn’t think through all the complications of the revelation I had in that nightclub bathroom. Actually, it seems fitting now that we’re in deep shit between our friends and family.
Jagger looks at me thoughtfully before he answers. His expression changes right before my eyes. His eyes soften, his smile is warm, and his stance relaxes. My heart flutters. My stomach drops. My breath catches in my chest. I silently will him not to make the major confession I know he’s about to make. Don’t do it, Jagger. Don’t.
“Yes, she’s my girlfriend,” Jagger announces. His hand cups my cheek and he softly, but sensually, kisses my lips.
He pulls his face back to look at me, but keeps his hand on my face. His thumb tenderly strokes my cheek as he searches my eyes for confirmation. This feels so real, too real, and I can’t stop how he affects me. For several seconds, I get lost in the chocolate brown depths of his eyes, where the occasional green speckle sparkles when the light hits it just right.
Then the comments that erupt in the kitchen draw me out of Jagger’s trance. Dwayne and Marlene cheer loudly, loudly voicing their approval. Jennifer moved past her stunned phase and now insists I have lost my mind. Vince tries to calm Jennifer but she can’t hear him over her own aggravation. Jagger’s band members all give their approval.
Jagger turns from me, his amusement evident in his expression and voice, and addresses the room. “Can everyone shut the hell up? Since when is my love life any of your business?” Replies fly from everyone and Jagger steps away from me to actively engage further.
As I glance around the boisterous room, I realize only one person hasn’t voiced an opinion either way. Unfortunately, that’s the one person who concerns me the most. Cass glares at Jagger with murderous intent. Her disgust with him is written all over her face and she makes no attempt to hide it.
She already knows about our arrangement, but she never acted upset about it before now. It can’t be over the lies to his parents, because she knew that was the case from the start. What would make her suddenly change so drastically?
Cass looks around the room and I notice she gives his band members much the same look. All of them except Dane, that is. He gets a look of disappointment from Cass and he quickly looks away from her. I need to find out what the hell is going on. When Cass looks in my direction, our eyes meet and I get a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach when her angry looks morphs into pity.
Pity for me.
“I appreciate everyone’s concern for our relationship, but we don’t need your input. We’re doing just fine on our own,” Jagger announces with finality. “Now, let’s all go to the beach and have some fun today.”
Everyone quickly agrees and heads toward the front door. Jagger smiles at me, no evidence of aggravation on his face. “Babe, can you grab the sunscreen from my bathroom? I’ll get our towels and stuff together.”
“Sure, Jagger.”
After a few minutes of searching through the unorganized mess he calls a linen closet, I finally find the bottles of sunscreen. As soon as I step out of his bedroom, I hear hushed, angry voices in the kitchen. My curiosity gets the best of me, so I stop and secretly listen.
It’s Cass and Jagger.
“Dane told me what you’re doing to that poor girl,” she accuses. “I can’t believe you’re my brother.”
“What are you talking about?” he hisses back.
“Stringing her along until her dad signs you. Keeping her happy so she won’t renege on the original agreement,” she replies.
“How am I stringing her along? This agreement was her idea,” he counters.
“But she left, Jagger. She walked away from you, ended this charade, and even then promised she’d keep her word,” Cass says angrily. “The guys told you to pursue her, promise her the moon until you get what you’re after. And you did just that, didn’t you?”
Jagger doesn’t reply.
“Then you announce to everyone that she’s your girlfriend. You’re making her believe this is real. When you and the band started this secret game, you changed the rules without telling her. You need to man up and tell her the truth,” she says, disgusted.
“I can’t,” he glumly replies.
“Well then, I hope your fame and fortune are worth it when you can’t bear to look in the mirror.”
I jump back into his bedroom before she reaches the hall and realizes I’ve been listening. Never have I felt like such a fool before. Jagger is obviously a much better actor than I’ve given him credit for.
One more day. I’ll just make it through one more day with him and then I’ll never see him again. I’ll end it with a text message. Realistically, there’s no reason why I should stay and pretend. I’m evidently just a fucking glutton for punishment.
Time to put on my actress face.
“Jagger,” I yell from his room just before I step into the hall. “Your bathroom closet is a mess. How do you stand it? I finally found the sunscreen you hid behind the five boxes of light bulbs.”
Jagger is alone in the kitchen. I assume Cass walked out on him after her last comment. He’s sitting at the table, staring at the floor, and his mind is a million miles away. Seeing his sister so upset with him must have really got to him. This is the side of him that he rarely shows.
“Ready to get this over with?” I ask casually but my phrasing is intentional.
When he raises his head, the sadness in his eyes almost makes me feel sorry for him. But I remind my stupid heart that it’s not for me. It’s for his sister and their relationship.
“We’re running out of time,” I add. Intentional again.
“Why are we running out of time?” he asks. His fake concern is Oscar worthy.
“Because you have a show to get ready for tonight.” My tone of voice says DUH without having to actually add it.
“Right,” he replies, dragging the one-syllable out to at least two or three. He may appear to agree, but he’s more perceptive than he lets on. His tone says I’m not fooling him, but he won’t push it right now.
JAGGER
THE SOUTH BEACH CROWD is out in full force today. The beach is full of people and there’s hardly any space near the water to claim as ours. Wes takes off ahead of us when he sees a group of girls in the perfect spot packing up their stuff. He starts up a conversation with them and invites them to our show tonight. When Mali and I reach them, they start to walk off when one of them stops when she sees me.
“Are you in the band, too?” She’s obviously interested in me.
“Yeah, I’m the lead singer,” I reply.
“In that case, I’ll definitely be there tonight,” she purrs. “I can’t wait to spend the night with you…listening to you sing.”
“New listeners are always welcome,” I reply. I try to keep the banter light so I don’t offend her, but I’m hyper-aware that Mali is right beside me.
The flirty girl nods, flashes me her seductive smile, and walks away.
“Holy shit, man. She’s hot as fuck,” Tanner says, as he nudges my arm.
“Man, watch how loud you say that shit,” I angrily whisper, as I look over my shoulder at him.
“Why? No one’s around,” he points out.
I turn around to find Mali, but she’s not there. Quickly searching the shoreline, I find her in ankle deep water, her face tilted up to soak in the sun. She’s already removed her cover up and she’s wearing the sexiest fucking bikini I’ve ever seen. It reveals just enough to be enticing but not give it all away. The bottoms don’t completely cover the luscious cheeks of h
er perfectly tanned ass. Every guy that walks by her stops, turns around, and openly gawks at her body.
I’ll end up killing some stupid fucker today.
Like this guy who finally works up the nerve to approach her. He touches her softly on the shoulder and she turns her head to look at him. The smile she gives him looks like the one she gives me when we’re alone. I don’t like this one fucking bit. He shouldn’t get the same smile I get.
“Man, what’s wrong with you?” Tanner asks. He follows my gaze and sees Mali.
“Holy shit. Her body is smoking hot,” he loudly exclaims. “I’ve seen her in a bathing suit before, but not like that one. I think I need to be alone. With her.”
“Stay the hell away from her, Tanner,” my tone warns him.
He looks at me, hard, before his bottom jaw drops open. “You weren’t lying before, were you? She really is your girlfriend.”
“Don’t start this shit with me right now,” I dismiss him. Mali and the touchy-feely guy just walked further out into the water together. Whatever his plans for her are, they’re about to be shot to hell by yours truly.
My stride is quick, my stance is aggressive, and my anger is seething on my way toward them. This obvious jealousy is so unlike me but I can’t stop myself. I can hear their conversation just before I reach them. Her back is to me and he has no idea she’s here with me.
“You honestly don’t have a boyfriend?” he asks.
“No boyfriend,” she replies.
“But you are seeing someone?” He sounds disappointed. Good.
She shakes her head side to side. “Just occasionally. It’s not serious.”
“I’d say it’s time for you to dump him,” the prick suggests. “If he doesn’t want to take you completely off the market, he’s an idiot.”
“You may be right.”
He doesn’t know her well enough to recognize the sadness in her voice, but I do. I could punch him in the mouth, threaten to stuff and mount his balls like a trophy above my fireplace, and throw Mali over my shoulder to carry her off like a caveman. The problem is, his mouth spoke the truth about me. I don’t have a fireplace because I live in Miami–it’s hot as hell here. I’d still consider stuffing and mounting his balls like a trophy for touching her, though. And, most of all, Mali has to want to be with me on her own terms.
