by Anthology
His eyes widened with my admission and then softened.
“I’m sorry. You know boys do stupid stuff all the time. I thought you were very pretty. It was the only thing I could think of to not keep staring. I told my mom that night that I’d met an angel and that I thought you were sent to protect me.”
“Really? You never said that before.”
“Yeah, well I didn’t exactly want to hand in my man card and admit it. Besides, I was scared to death you’d punch me. You were kind of vicious when you were little,” he smiled.
“I was not. I just had to be tough around you. I was such a tomboy.”
His eyes darkened, his pupils disappearing into the dark depths of his eyes.
“Well,” He said reaching around me and grabbing my ass, pulling me closer to him, “You are anything but a tomboy now.”
“Is that so?” I arched my brows.
“Mmm hmm,” he said kissing my jaw.
“You are sexy,” he whispered, kissing my cheek.
“You are gorgeous,” he kissed the corner of my mouth.
“You are stunning,” he kissed my lips.
“You have the amazing ability to get me to do anything for you,” he admitted, as his mouth left a path of goosebumps all the way down my neck.
I felt the sting of a bite on my shoulder seconds before he licked it. A tingle of awareness pooled between my thighs and I arched my pelvis deeper into him, craving contact. Pushing him away from me a little, I reached down for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, leaving me exposed in my white, lacy bra. His eyes transfixed on my chest and he licked his lips like he couldn’t wait to get a taste of me.
“Lil, we—”
I stopped him, placing a finger to his mouth and he nibbled on the pad of it.
“I want this, Jason. I want you… inside of me. I want that connection with you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.”
That was all it took. The reassurance that I wanted him just as much as he wanted me. He climbed on top of me, and I spread my legs to welcome his weight between them. His erection pressed to my center and I was cursing the clothing between us. Finding bravery that I never knew I had before, I reached between us to cup his arousal and was pleasantly surprised as he moaned his approval.
“God, Lilly. I’ve—I’ve wanted you so long,” he breathed, seconds before his lips captured mine. I let go of him only long enough to try and remove my shorts and panties so that I had no barrier left for him to find. His warm hand traced circles on my hip bone, and my breathing hitched as they made slow progress toward where I was aching for him to touch. Fire, heat and something else indescribable surged through me to the point that if he didn’t make contact soon, I would surely combust.
“I’ve wanted you, too,” I admitted, feeling carefree after being able to say those words to him. There was too much clothing on him and I was desperate to have our skin touch. Needy with want to feel his hardness against my smoothness, I grabbed the hem of his shirt and worked it over his head before I went for the button on his jeans. I relished in the feel of his firm thighs as I peeled the denim from his body.
“Nothing will ever be as beautiful to me as you are right now, in this moment. To know that I’ve caused that blush in your cheeks and the light in your eyes as you look up at me is a fucking dream come true, Lil.”
“Please, Jason? Please…I need you…”
And he slowly slid into me and I watched his face relax as if he had been away for years and was now coming home. The feel of his body inside of mine was magical. An out of body experience I wanted to repeat over and over again.
The leisurely way he slid in and out of me as if he wanted to savor every second, made all of the sensations that we were both experiencing, heighten.
I couldn’t believe that I was making love to my best friend. It was such a happy and surreal moment that I felt on the verge of tears.
“I could spend every day of the rest of my life like this with you,” he spoke into my neck and in that instant, I could feel the steady uphill climb build with ferocity as my body responded to his words. The way he moved against me, coupled with his words of passion was almost too much to bear.
This was tender, not hurried. Slow, not rushed. Loving, not frenzied, yet it was the most erotic experience of my life.
“Jason, I’m so close…” I breathed, arching my back and tilting my head back in ecstasy.
“Let’s do it together, like we have done everything our entire lives, baby.”
And that is exactly what we did. Both of us shattering into the white, blinding light of pleasure. Seized by a moment of bliss and pure unadulterated love.
***
Jason
MAKING LOVE TO Lilly was the greatest experience of my life. To feel her beneath me, have her body give in to not only her desires, but mine as well, was unlike anything I could describe. Several days have gone by since that first time, and yet each time we made love, it was like we were experiencing it all for the first time all over again.
We were laying on the beach, Lilly on her stomach and me on my back, as we soaked in the rays of the sun. My thoughts were less than appropriate as I scanned her gorgeous backside and devouring every inch of her with my eyes.
“I know what you’re thinking and if you don’t stop, we are going to end up giving everyone here on the beach a show.”
“God, Lil, you can’t say things like that to me in public,” I teasingly chastised, as I tried to adjust the erection that was threatening beneath my board shorts.
“You can just keep those thoughts to yourself for a while Castle, you’ve consumed my best friend enough already this vacation, you can share her with me too,” Krista said, raising up from her towel to glare at me.
Reaching over, I grabbed Lilly’s ass causing her to yelp.
“Hey!” She protested, batting my hand away and laughing at the same time.
“What? Just trying to show all the guys that keep staring at you, that you are mine.”
“What? Who’s staring?”
“Everyone, honey,” Krista butted in. “If I played for the other team, your ass alone would sell me.”
“See? You’re even turning on the ladies,” I teased leaning down to place a kiss on her lips. Every time her mouth touched mine, my body would respond, my head would swim, and my heart would beat in my chest at frantic rhythms.
“Who said I was yours?” She asked trying to get a rise out of me.
“I did. The first time I flung mud on you.”
I saw her melt from my words and it elated me. At the same time, I also felt a sense of dread. We only had five more days left of this vacation. Lilly would be moving to New York, and me to Denver. This thing that was happening with Lilly seemed to be escalating by the minute. Although I’ve always held a special place for her in my heart, she just held a deeper position in it now. As much as I felt like we should pull back just a little so that when it came time to go our separate ways, I also felt like I couldn’t. This feeling—this overwhelmingly glorious feeling I had just being with her these last few days, is better than any relationship I ever had in its entirety.
She smiled up at me, and although I couldn’t see her eyes, I knew what they would look like. Knowing her in such a different way now, gave me the opportunity to memorize her in a different way. Like how her lips would part slightly when she was turned on, or the way her eyes glossed over after a long, sensual kiss.
I had to find a way to keep this going. I just had to. There’s no way that I could let her go now. I was in too deep. She was burned into my soul and there wasn’t anyone or anything that could remove her.
Not even seventeen hundred miles.
Chapter Eight
Lilly
JASON AND I WERE laying in bed with the windows open, relaxing to the soothing sound of the waves as he drew leisurely circles on my back. Each brush of his fingertips ignited me a little more.
Over the space of the last few
days, we have been inseparable going to dinners, dancing, or just walking on the beach. Of course we spent time with Krista and Corey, but we liked to be alone at every opportunity that we could. We were now just a few days away from having to go home and my stomach nearly bottomed out at the thought. My flight left for New York on Sunday night and Jason’s for Denver on Monday morning.
“What are you thinking about?” He asked, as he brushed a kiss on the top of my head. I didn’t want to tell him that I was dreading our vacation being over. I didn’t want to tell him that my heart wasn’t ready to let him go. If he felt as deeply for me as I was feeling for him, I knew that if given the chance, he’d pass on Denver. It was his dream job to work at the very prestigious engineering firm, and there was no way in hell I was going to let him do anything to jeopardize that.
“Just thinking about how this last week and a half has been amazing. That maybe our parents giving us this gift, gave us an even better one.”
“That, sweetheart,” he said squeezing my ass gently, “Is exactly what I was thinking. What do you think they will say once we get home and tell them we are together?’
I hadn’t really thought about that. In fact, we hadn’t talked about what we were going to do after we got home from the beach. I’d been too terrified to even think about it. I stiffened from his question and I knew he felt it.
“You don’t want to tell them do you?” He asked with a hint of anger, but like he was trying to mask it with the low tone of his voice.
“It’s not that, Jason, I just—I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I mean this has all been amazing and wonderful, but what happens when we go back to reality. We are going to be seventeen hundred miles apart,” I said pulling away from him so that I could see his face. It was half hidden by the shadows of the room, but just enough light filtered in for me to see his browns scrunch together in frustration.
“We’ll make it work, Lil, I just got you, I’m not ready to let you go yet. We can find a way to make it work. We can do the long distance thing, or maybe the firm has a sister company in New York I can tran—”
“No,” I barked interrupting him before he even finished the sentence. I knew that something like this would happen, and if he was already having these thoughts, I knew that he was getting serious about us.
“You can’t do that. I won’t let you do that. You’ve worked too hard for that job, Jason. I didn’t spend the last four years studying with you for you to just blow it.”
“So you’re saying we should just end it then? After everything that has happened between us? Just let it go like it never happened? It may be easy for you to do that, Lil, but not for me. Not after this week.”
Whoah. This was a getting serious. He was no longer trying to mask his anger and was peaking in a tone that hinted at anger and frustration. He removed his hands from my body to run them both through his blond hair and I listened to his long exhale as I rested my forehead on his chest.
“I’m not saying that. I’m saying that I just don’t know.” He rose up, causing me to roll off him and he reached down to grab his jeans of the floor.
“Where are you going?” I asked, hugging the blanket to my naked chest, suddenly feeling cold even though the room was warm.
“For a walk. I just—I just need to go.”
I watched as he shoved on his shirt and began to walk towards the door.”
“Jason.” He kept walking.
“Jason!” I yelled a little more forcefully.
But he didn’t stop. Didn’t even pause, or look back before he opened the door and walked out.
***
Jason
I COULDN’T TELL YOU how long I’ve been gone or how far I have walked. I do know it was far enough to barely see the lights of the pier in the distance and to a part of the beach that was less commercialized. The softer sand had turned to harder pebbles and my pant legs were soaked from the water, but I didn’t care.
It was dark, but not too late so I decided to call the only one other woman in my life who I completely confided in other than Lilly.
“Hey sweetheart,” my mother’s soothing voice sounded over the phone.
“Hey, mom.”
“Are you having fun at the beach?”
“Uh yeah. It’s been great so far.”
“Why do I get the feeling you aren’t telling me the truth?” She chuckled.
“Do you really think Denver is a good idea?”
“Baby, it’s a little late to think that now isn’t it? You already accepted the job. You leave Monday. Are you having second thoughts?”
I sighed, running my hand through my hair.
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“Does this have to do with Lilly?”
I guess I should have been shocked that my mom asked that question, but I wasn’t. She knew me probably better than I knew myself.
“Partially.”
“Partially, or totally?”
“You seriously missed your calling as a psychic, mom,” I chuckled for the first time in hours. “How’d you know?”
“Baby, ever since that sweet girl moved in next door, it’s always been about her.”
“Yeah, I guess it has,” I breathed.
“It’s hard to have to be separated from someone you love so much. Maybe you should just tell her.”
“She knows I’m going to miss her, ma. I’ve told her already.”
“That’s not what I mean knothead. Have you told her you love her?”
I stopped walking and was nearly toppled over by a strong wave that came further up on shore than the others.
“I—I don’t, I mean I do, but—” I stuttered.
“Sweetheart, listen to me. Love—true love—only comes once in a lifetime. You just have to figure out what it is you want for the rest of your life. An entire lifetime of happiness, or a short lived satisfaction. Don’t settle because you let your pride get in the way, but also don’t give up on your dreams either. I know it’s always been your dream to be an engineer, but maybe—just maybe—you have a new dream now.”
I soaked in her words as I plopped myself down on the sand, and rested my elbows on my knees. Her words hit me so hard that it felt like I had an entire pile of bricks resting on my chest.
“How’d you get so amazing, ma?”
“I’ve always been fabulous, baby. It just took you and your father longer to realize that,” she laughed.
“I love you, ma.”
“I love you too, baby. Listen to your heart. It will never steer you wrong.”
I sat there on that beach for God knows how long, letting my mother’s words circulate over and over in my mind. The only thing that was perfectly clear and I knew without a doubt; I was definitely in love with Lilly.
Chapter Nine
Lilly
JASON NEVER CAME back to bed with me after he left my bedroom and I tossed and turned the rest of the night because of it. I could still smell him on my sheets and pillowcases. My body still remembered the way his skin felt against mine, but my heart also knew what I needed to do.
I was living proof that you could love your best friend your entire life, and fall in love with him in a matter of a few weeks. Truth be told, I think I fell years ago, but I never really allowed myself to feel or express it.
We had to get up early the next morning to get everything packed up and ready to leave so that we would make it back to Charlottesville in time for my flight on Sunday. Jason was eerily quiet all morning. Even Krista and Corey seemed to pick up on the distance between us because they were relatively quiet as well.
“Feel like talking about it?” Krista asked, pushing off the doorframe of my room where I hadn’t even noticed she was standing.
“Not really,” I replied, a little irritated at the whole situation. People always say that loving someone is easy, when in fact it could be a real bitch sometimes. I didn’t have control over my own thoughts— I lost all leverage over my emotions.
“
What happened, Lil? Jason is walking around here like a pissed off hyena but he looks so sad.”
I sighed knowing she wouldn’t let up until I talked to her. I needed to get it off my chest anyway to keep from breaking out in tears.
“We kinda had an argument.”
“About?” She prodded.
“About what happens when we leave here.”
“Ahh. So what exactly happens when we do leave?” She asked coming to sit on the bed where I busied myself packing my suitcase.
“Exactly what we planned. He goes to Denver and I go to New York.”
“So it’s going to be like that is it?”
“Yeah, Kris. It is. Jason is having second thoughts. I can’t let him give up that job. It’s what he’s always wanted. I couldn’t live with the regret if something were to happen between us and he sacrificed that just so we could be together. I just can’t have that on my conscience.”
“And anything long distance is out of the question? You love him, Lil. Don’t give up on that. Sometimes those risks are worth taking for the person you are meant to be with.”
I stopped mid fold of my t-shirt before haphazardly just tossing it into the suitcase with a little more force than necessary.
“You know those kinds of relationships never work.”
“Says who? Besides, it isn’t like you and Jason are still getting to know each other. You know each other better than anyone. Sometimes what you think you want and what you really need are two different things. You’ve never been apart from him. You know you are going to be miserable. Hell, I don’t want you two to move either.”
I sat down next to her on the bed and folded my hands in my lap as I tilted my head back and prayed for the tension in my shoulders to release.
“It’s because I love him, Kris, that I have to do this.”
I felt her warm hand on top of mine and I looked at her as the tears came pouring down.
“Whatever you decide, I’m here for you. But don’t do it if you think he will be happier in Denver without you. Because if his mood is any indication…” she said, gesturing with her thumb towards the door.
