by Anthology
"We should probably get going, right Talon?"
"Nah. We need to make sure this is all done here."
"Talon, it's time to go." I walk over to him and lace my fingers through his. Squeezing tight, I begin to pull on his arm until he decides to follow. "There's a beautiful baby girl that I want to hold again. We'll catch you guys later!"
"Wait! What about the wedding? Is it still on for Saturday?" Lilly rushes into the hall to ask us before I get the chance to get him out the door.
"Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow and give you the specific details."
Luke watches me force Talon to leave and I turn to face him before I close the door behind me. His shit-eating grin tells me that he doesn't give a crap whether the Walkers are going to like him circling Lilly. This is so not going to go well if he fucks up. He loves to be free and enjoys the benefits of being single. I can't picture him settling down with one girl and if he gets with her that's exactly what they'll expect.
"You need to stop with the barbarics. She is a grown woman and she doesn't need you scaring off all the guys who come around her."
"I won’t scare off all the guys, just the ones that aren't good enough."
"And who would be good enough?" His hesitation shows me he has to think really hard to answer my question without sounding irrational.
"There are guys that'll treat her right."
"I agree! And it's up to her to find the one that makes her happy without the interference of the Walker brothers." He's hearing me, but is he listening? Only time will tell if I'm getting through to him.
"Take me to see that sweet baby!" I purposely find stuff to talk about the whole way there to get his mind off of the obvious chemistry between Luke and Lilly. I make a mental note to talk to Luke and threaten him within an inch of his life. He needs to remember how easy it'll be to rock this boat and mess up everything they’ve worked so hard to regain. I can't even begin to imagine the tension in the band if he messes this up.
Chapter Seven
Talon
EVERY MORNING I OPEN my eyes to see the most gorgeous woman with bed head that is sexy as fuck and skin so soft that I can't resist waking her by touching it. I've come a long way to find this happiness, but there’s one thing I need to do to leave the past behind me and move forward. I slide out of bed, trying my hardest not to wake her.
She stirs just slightly then falls back to sleep. Damn she's beautiful. How did I get so lucky to find the one person who can see straight through to the depths of me? A year ago, there wasn't a single person that would try to talk to me about my issues if I pushed them away just the slightest bit. She broke right through to me and I haven't been the same since. I love her more than anything and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy.
I start the truck and let it run a little in the chilly morning air. This is going to be tough, but I have to do this. I have to say goodbye and forgive her once and for all.
I pull off the dirt road and park in the same spot I have so many times before. The sound of water rushing fills the air as soon as I open the door. Walking over to the bridge, I stop where her car mangled the steel and see that repairs have been made to secure the bridge. The memories of that night begin to flood my mind. I was so full of anger and hatred for Nicole for taking everything from me once again.
Everything could’ve ended so differently that night and I've had a rough time letting go of some of the hatred I feel when I think of her or our baby. I'll never have the chance to hold my son or daughter because Nicole took that away from me. How can I ever forgive someone for that?
I pull out my ear buds and start the music. Songs that I use to purge every emotion by beating the shit out of the drums begin to flood my ears. I sit on the edge of the bridge and watch the water flow for what seems like hours. I cry, cuss, pray, remember and try to forget the entire time I sit there. A few cars go by—one even stops—but I don't bother looking to see who it is.
She runs her hand up my back and around my neck. There is no mistaking her body when she leans on my back to fully hug me from behind. I leave the music on to finish this song. She doesn't move at all and we just sit there with her holding me. The tears run down both of our faces and I don't even bother to wipe them away.
"I love you," are the first words that come out of her mouth when the song ends. I choose to kiss her arm since the lump in my throat won't let me speak. She pulls out an ear bud and sits beside me.
"Talon, I'm sorry." She has nothing to be sorry about, but this is who she is. If someone is hurting she is, too. She loves with everything inside of her and would do anything to take the hurt away from someone she loves.
"I am, too." We sit there and watch the water some more. "How'd you find me?"
"Macy saw you out here. She called and asked me if she should stop and I told her I would come talk to you. You going to be alright?"
"Yeah. I just needed to work through a few things that I never really took the time to do before." When I pulled Ev out of the river that night, the last thing I worried about was me.
"Want me to leave you alone a little longer?"
"Nah. I'm gonna be alright." She leans in and gives me a peck on the lips. I see the tears in her eyes that haven't quite dried. Using both thumbs, I wipe her tears away and she does the same for me.
"From now on, you let me catch your tears." Her serious face and demanding words make me smile.
"I will, Mrs. Walker."
"I'm going to go back to work on some of the wedding stuff. You want to stay a little longer?"
"I'll be right behind you." I watch her leave, letting the glare of the sun bounce off the water a little longer. There’s nothing more to do or say out here. Sometimes, tragedies in life make you stronger and sometimes they break you down. I hate that Nicole lost her life to her struggle with drugs. If only she would've taken the help that was offered to her, she’d be here today.
I crank up the music as soon as I turn on the engine and head to our house to move forward with my life and try to leave behind the guilt. I'll always feel like I should’ve done something to save the baby. Time hasn't helped that feeling go away, but maybe I can quit blaming Nicole.
Our little house is a perfect starter house for us, especially since we won’t be spending very much time in it for a few years. Ev will be traveling with me everywhere I go. Her career as a photographer will only grow on the road. We’re going to be more in control of the tour dates and try to enjoy some of the locations we get to visit. The last tour was balls to the walls non-stop. If it wasn't for Ev being there with me, I would have hated every minute of it.
Taron has plans to bring Ivy and the baby for at least a year. We’ve worked our asses off to get dates at some of the best venues around. Aiden actually managed to get some of the best ones booked. It looks like he'll be going on the road to help us manage all of the details needed as we move from city to city. He’s been vital to getting us the exposure we need and marketing the events to ramp up ticket sales.
With all of our hard work, we might just actually make it big this time. I'll be happy with just playing with the group and traveling with Ev. Who gets an opportunity like this in their lifetime, let alone as newlyweds?
Ev isn't at the house when I arrive, so I start to work on the music for the wedding.
Chapter Eight
Ivy
Her little toes and fingers are so tiny. I had no idea how much I really loved this little girl until I met her for the first time. She has her dad's personality until she gets mad. Then it's all me. She has a full head of dark brown hair. One of the nurses brought in a bow and we've managed to have it around her eyes, off to the side and on the floor with how much we’ve been holding her.
Everyone says that she will get spoiled if we hold her. Well then, she'll just have to be spoiled, because I want to love on my baby. Taron has been extremely attentive.
I keep seeing his new tattoo and I'm struggling with an array of emotions th
at are confusing me. I want to jump in and follow him into the marriage idea of a happily ever after, but I'm just afraid to give that part of me up. I'm Ivy Adams. Ivy Walker doesn't portray me. I'll consider his feelings in all of this and make a decision of how to respond to his crazy idea to get a wedding band tattoo when we aren't even getting married.
I'm trying to breast feed Heaven again. She seems to be doing well with feeding, almost too well. She's two days old and wants to eat constantly. My milk hasn't come in yet, so I'm sure it'll get easier when it does. Right now my breasts are sore as hell. Taron seems to enjoy the view a little too much. I can only imagine where his mind is and the plans he has for the girls when I'm cleared for sex in six weeks. Who am I kidding? It won’t be six weeks.
We get to go home this morning. Both Heaven and I are completely healthy and I'm so ready to get out of here. Taron says he has the important stuff ready in the nursery. I wish I would've had time to get it ready because I really wanted her to go home to a beautiful room even though we'll be traveling. She needs her room and a space that can be hers when we do get to come home.
She’s a little smaller than we expected, too. She only weighed 5.5 pounds when she was born because she was early. Her clothes are going to swallow her, except for the few that Ev found in preemie size yesterday.
"Looks like you're ready to get out of here!" The nurse walks in with all of our papers. Heaven is sleeping on me now, so I lift her to Taron who's waiting to buckle her into her car seat.
"We're going home, baby girl!" His voice is so different with her and I love when he sings to her. It's so relaxing to hear him soothing her cries.
We finally make it home and Taron runs circles around me trying to get everything in the house. This is the first time our family will be home together. He manages to hold the door for me and carry Heaven inside along with an armload of stuff from the hospital. He quickly removes her from her carrier and starts showing her around the house.
"You ready to see your room? Tell Mommy to come see your brand new bedroom." We make our way down the hall to the doorway of her nursery. I can smell fresh paint about halfway there and I know what he's done, but nothing prepares me for how breathtaking the room looks. Everything is put together and completely perfect. The walls are painted with glittery paint that illuminates the room. The crib and furniture that I wanted to get her is all here. My emotions get the best of me and I tear up, AGAIN. Seriously. I need to check these tears at the door.
"Taron, when did you do all of this?" He’d been with me almost the entire time at the hospital so I know there is no way he did this by himself.
"We did most of it when you were trying to look at dresses with Ev. We had the room painted and most of the furniture in when Ev called me. Luke and Lilly finished it up for me." He's holding Heaven like a football in his arm, trying to show her everything. I can't hold back any longer. I step right in front of the man who is trying so hard to make me happy in life, wrap my arms around his waist and lean in to his chest.
"Thank you."
"For what, Ivy?"
"For already being a great father to our baby."
"You don't have to thank me; this is one of the moments that I've been waiting for." I know exactly what he means.
This would be a nice moment if my boobs didn't hurt like a big bitch right now. No one prepared me for the sensitive nipple issue. I pull back and hold my hands over each one to try to rub out the pain. "Damn, my nips are killing me!"
"There's that cream they gave you."
"Yeah, I'm going to shower and try to take a nap. Can you wake me when she's hungry?" He nods in approval as he leans down to kiss me.
I leave the room and it’s a matter of moments before I hear her crying. Taron brings her to me so I can feed her and we sit on the bed enjoying our new baby girl. He begins to talk to her and runs his finger over her cheek while she's breastfeeding. His tattoo is so blatantly obvious and reminds me that we need to talk about this.
"You really should have talked to me before you got that tattoo."
"And what would you have said? You'd have told me no and that doesn't work for me. Ivy, get over it. I can tattoo your name all over my fucking body if I choose to. Just because you want to hold back doesn't mean I have to."
"I just want us to agree on what's going on here."
"Yes, we both want forever. I've already committed to that and I'll wait for you to do the same." This is getting out of control. I love this man and he's obviously hurt by my reaction to his odd as hell proposal.
"I love you and I want to spend forever with you, but like I've already said, I don't want either of us to feel trapped. Your life is just beginning with Rebel Walking and you need to focus on that."
"Uh, no. My life is just beginning as a father and my family is more important than any of that shit. I'll only do all of that if it doesn't mess up what we have. The second I see it tearing us up, I'm walking." I take in his words and watch his demeanor. He isn't bluffing in the least and I see his determination to make our family work. I want to do this with him, but on my time.
"Okay. I understand. I still think you're an ass for asking me the way you did." His laughter startles Heaven and I work to adjust her so she can continue eating.
"I agree. That was probably the worst proposal in history! You can't say I wasn't original! How about I do it the right way one day when you're ready?" Original is exactly right, but that’s why I love him. We are both so sporadic and unpredictable that life is always going to be a roller coaster with us.
"I can live with that. What are we going to do for this bachelor/bachelorette party? I'm so damn tired but we can't let them down."
"I think they wouldn't mind if we did a small get together somewhere. Talon called while you were resting and asked when you could get together with Ev to get the dresses picked out."
"I'm the worst bridesmaid in the world. Thankfully, she understands my situation and doesn't hold it against me. Did you tell him I could do something in the morning?"
"Yeah, we're going to spend part of the day over there tomorrow. Luke and Lilly will be there along with Holden for sure, that I know of."
We spend our first evening at home as a family. The way Taron makes me feel is really undeniable. I know one day I'll take him up on his offer, but for now this works well for us. I love this man. How can I not? He gave me the best gift in the world.
Chapter Nine
Eaven
I CAN FEEL HIM START to stir behind me. Waking up in Talon's arms every morning is my life. He makes me complete and I think I do the same for him. Seeing him like he was yesterday reminded me what all he's been through and it honestly broke my heart to see him hurting like that. Even big tough guys have demons that haunt them. Sometimes it takes just stopping to relive the horrors to move on with life.
His happiness is so important to me and I know Taron having a baby has to be affecting him in some way. My instinct is to fix everything and this is something that can't be fixed. His tragedy will somehow always live with him, but I hope to bring him memories that help put some shine into his darkened past.
"Mornin'." I roll over to snuggle with him and place my chin on his chest to watch his face. Damn, just enough scruff to be sexy as hell.
"Good morning. What's the plan for your last day of freedom?"
"Well, I really need a dress. This dress thing has not worked out at all. Every time I try to go it’s a complete fiasco."
"I have that taken care of."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Today, Taron is bringing Ivy over and I'm having dresses delivered for you to choose from." His thoughtfulness always amazes me. Who can say their man thinks about things like this?
"How did you manage that one?"
"Let's just say the girl at the dress shop had a hard time saying no to me. Actually, come to think of it, she had a hard time saying anything to me." His sexy laughter fills the room when I begin to pinch at his sides for fl
irting to get me a wedding dress delivered.
"Are you kidding me?" My pinching turns into him pinching and tickling me back, which leads to more laughter and screaming on my part. Can every morning be like this? It takes him no time at all to pin me down so that I can't move anything. He's straddling me and holding my hands against the bed over my head. I'm not losing at this game, you see, because I have the best view I could ever ask for. He realizes my victory when I lick my lips and give a little moan of appreciation.
"You like what you see, Mrs. Walker?"
"MmmHmm."
"So do I." And just like that, it's on. His mouth covers mine and he releases his hold on my arms, which I appreciate because I like to explore and let my hands travel over every inch of him. He starts to slide down my body, leaving a trail of kisses along the way. I know where he's headed and so does my tingling body. His tongue runs up the seam of my core, just as he wedges his shoulders under my legs. Damn he is so good at this.
A breathy exhale releases from my lungs when he uses more pressure to quickly bring my 'O' to the surface. I wrap my legs around him and let him work his magic over and over. He slides his finger inside me and I can't help but want more.
"I need you, now. Please, Talon." He slides up my body, stopping to devour my breasts before his face meets mine.
"Where do you want me?"
"Everywhere. Just please hurry!" That sexy as fuck grin of his flashes across his face because he knows how he affects me. He knows I need him like I need my next breath.
I wrap my legs around his hips when he moves between my legs. His movements are sensual and his restraint is perfect to bring out all the sensations yet again. The slow, deep thrusts have forced me to the edge of the bed and I let my head hang off the side. The blood rushing to my head makes for a completely different experience as my orgasm flows through my body all over again.
