by Anna Paige
I drained the remainder of my wine and reached for the bottle. Ali nodded when I arched a brow at her and I began to fill her glass, eyes on the task instead of her as I began. "Spencer's called me a manwhore for years. It started out as a joke but, given my track record with women, it sort of stuck." Done with her glass, I sat back and got to work on my own. "I don't think he means anything by it most of the time but some days he says it with just enough emphasis to make it clear that it's more of a judgment than a joke. He doesn't really approve of my choices in regards to women. I guess I've made a mess of my personal life, and he gets tired of seeing me screw up over and over." I watched the raindrops dance across the surface of the pool, not sure how to continue this conversation.
"It's not his place to approve or disapprove, and he doesn't know what he's talking about anyway. You know who you are. That's all that matters." I smiled as she turned my words back on me. "And I don't care if you've humped your way from Maine to Florida, you're not a whore. You're my friend, and I won't listen to anyone bad-mouthing my friend. That includes you." She leaned forward and tugged my chin toward her. "Understand?"
The sincerity and compassion in her eyes almost broke me. She meant what she said. I wasn't damaged in her eyes; I wasn't tainted by my past. I realized I loved her at that moment. Loved the way she looked at me without judgment, the way she saw the good in me even when I didn't. I loved everything about her.
Holy fuck. I loved her.
I absolutely fucking adored a woman who I'd been lying to from the moment we met.
No matter how I spun it in my mind, I knew I'd lose her in the end. The momentary elation of realizing my feelings was crushed beneath the impending doom of my past. I may have admitted to being a slut, but there was still one secret I couldn't bring myself to tell her. One admission that was too horrible to make. I'd spent twenty years burying it in the back of my mind, and I didn't think I could unearth it for anyone. Not even Ali.
She still held my chin in her hand, watching me. I knew I'd never get to tell her how I felt. To do so would be selfish on my part. Love and honesty went hand-in-hand, and I couldn't offer one without the other. It would just end up hurting her. I couldn't do that. She deserved better.
I smiled softly, hoping she didn't see the worry in my face or the adoration. "Understood, Miss Walker."
Her answering smile was radiant, and it made the tightness in my chest even worse.
I had to keep my feelings to myself. If I couldn't do that, I'd have to love her enough to let her go.
WEDNESDAY EVENING, I excused myself to my temporary office to get some work done while the girls watched a movie in the living room. They finally seemed to be settled in, really settled in a way that let them put their feet on the coffee table and raid the refrigerator without feeling like an intruder. They looked comfortable relaxing on the couch and laughing together at the comedy they were watching.
It was nice having them there, the sounds of their laughter and chatter in the mornings, the smell of Talia's expensive Italian roast and thick cut bacon. It made the cabin feel alive for the first time since my arrival.
Despite the circumstances surrounding their stay, I was glad they were there.
I sat at the small desk in the spare bedroom that I'd converted into my office and opened my email, scrolling absently through my inbox while I pulled out my phone to call Brant.
He answered on the second ring, sounding excited. "Bout damn time you got back to work, slacker," he said by way of greeting. "I thought I was going to have to send a search party after you."
I laughed at his teasing. "Just letting you have a few extra days to come up with something worth building. Consider it a favor. You need all the help you can get."
We didn't usually banter so much but then again, we didn't usually have to work on independent projects either. The ball-busting was mostly relief at having time to work on something as a team again.
Once we'd sufficiently given each other hell, we got down to work and made a surprising amount of progress in the little time we had. We were laying out the blueprints for a job we were set to start in the fall and methodically going over the client's specifications to see how much wiggle room we had for upgrades and modifications.
It was a process that we went through with every project, tossing out ideas and using each other as soundboards for new concepts.
We reached a stopping point and agreed to pick it back up over the weekend. I'd long ago heard Ali and Talia head off to bed and was just about to hang up when Brant asked about the gala. I gave him the rundown, minus the mind-blowing activities at Ali's apartment afterward.
There was laughter in his voice when he asked, "So, is it true that Spence called in the office help to get you fitted for a tux?"
I inwardly groaned at the memory. When Brant's soft laughter became more pronounced, I realized the groan wasn't inward at all. "Ha ha, very funny. You know damn well he did."
"Talk about throwing a guy to the cheek-pinching, blue-haired wolves..." There was a loud thump and a few seconds of static before Brant's voice came back on the line. "Sorry, was laughing so hard I dropped the damn phone."
He didn't sound the least bit sorry.
"That's okay, fucker. Laugh it up. Spencer definitely won this round, but payback's a bitch."
WHEN THURSDAY CAME, I was nervous. Ali and I had spent the majority of the week together, whether at home or work, but Talia had been a sort of buffer. Knowing she was there, or would be there after her shift ended, had kept me from a repeat of what happened on the patio. It hadn't been easy to keep my distance. More than once I had looked at the clock and done the math to see how long I had until Talia got back from work, thinking of all the carnal ways Ali and I could be passing the available time. I'd also spent a good deal of the week just watching her, noticing little mannerisms that I found adorable. Like the way she talked with her hands when she was excited or the way she leaned subtly toward me no matter where we were, something she seemed unaware of.
Ali had been more herself as the week wore on. By Thursday morning, her perpetual smile had returned, much to my relief.
She finished her cup of coffee that morning and darted back downstairs to gather her things for a shower. I went to the sink to rinse our cups and was surprised when Talia sidled up next to me and began speaking. "You know, I've noticed something." She wasn't much for conversation in the morning, so it had to be important. I raised a questioning brow. "Ali seems like her old self around you."
"I don't think it's me. She just needed a few days to bounce back after the break-in."
Talia shook her head. "No. I don't mean since the thing at the apartment. She's been different ever since you showed up here. I haven't seen her smile so much since we first started college. She's been so damn chipper that I've seriously considered slapping her once or twice." She gave a lopsided grin that indicated she'd do no such thing. "Tell me you haven't noticed the grin she's always got plastered on her face."
I wrinkled my brow in confusion. "She's been that way ever since I met her. I assumed that was just her usual demeanor."
Talia's smile disappeared. She leaned toward me, our shoulders touching as she confided. "Not even close. She's had a crappy few years, I guess we both have, and it affected her. I was starting to think it was my fault, that maybe she had become jaded like me because we spent so much time together." She turned, gripping my shoulder in the process so that we faced each other. There was something like gratitude in her eyes. "When she met you, it was like watching the clock roll back. She was the Ali I remembered from our first days of college. She was happy, eager, optimistic, and something even more important... hopeful. I thought that girl was gone forever, lost somewhere with the girl I once was, but you brought her back."
I started to protest, tell her it wasn't anything I'd done, but she cut me off with a wave of her hand. "I don't know what's going on between you two and I don't need to know. Whatever you are to each other, I'm grat
eful for it. I was convinced that she'd given up after Keith." Her eyes darkened briefly at the mention of his name. "Her trusting you the way she does, that's huge for her. You must be something special." She blinked rapidly as if fighting back tears.
God, I felt like the biggest piece of shit on earth. "I haven't done anything to deserve all this praise. If Ali is happy, it's because she's fought hard for it. She doesn't need her happiness handed to her, especially by the likes of me. I'm nothing special, honestly."
Talia remained unconvinced. "Fine, then. Be stubborn. I'm used to it, having spent the majority of my life as Ali's best friend. I won't thank you for her happiness. But I will thank you for the other morning." She smiled sadly. "You didn't push me to talk about anything, and you didn't mention it to Ali. I appreciate that." She smiled when I gave her a questioning look. "Oh, if you'd said anything to her, I'd know. She would have checked to make sure I was okay. I think my mothering instincts have rubbed off on her." She paused, and I watched a myriad of emotions cross her features. "I'm glad you didn't mention it to her. With all that's happened, she's stressed enough. But, that's probably why you kept it to yourself, isn't it? You were looking out for our girl, not wanting to worry her unnecessarily."
The way she said 'our girl' was deliberate. She knew there was something between her friend and me. And the knowing way she was looking at me made me wonder if she'd guessed at the depth of my feelings for Ali.
"I like that you want to protect her. She'd probably be pissed if she heard me say that, but it's true. Ali likes to do things on her own, even when it's not the best idea." The sound of the downstairs bathroom door opening brought the conversation to a halt.
Ali's voice rang out as if she were standing near the bottom of the stairs. "Hey Talia, that piece of mechanically challenged shit you call a blow dryer won't turn on again. Will you please come do whatever voodoo is required to get it going? Maybe you should bring jumper cables because I think it's truly dead this time."
Talia stepped over to the doorway at the top of the stairs, raising her voice to be heard. "Mellow your mammaries, woman. It's fine. You just don't have the right touch. I'll be there in a sec."
"Oh, I'll touch it alright. I'll throw the frigging thing out the window. Uncooperative hunk of junk." Ali's voice faded out as she walked away, heavy steps indicating she was still fuming. A moment later, her bedroom door closed with a bit too much force.
I couldn't hold back a chuckle of amusement. I didn't even see her face during the exchange, but Ali was definitely the most adorable pissed-off person ever.
Talia winked and started toward the stairs, off to jump start the appliance in question. "I'm leaving after my shift, so it's up to you to keep our girl happy while I'm gone."
My mind didn't automatically go to all the ways I could keep Ali happy, as it normally would. One phrase kept repeating again and again in my head, causing my chest to tighten.
Our girl.
WHEN I PICKED Ali up at the office that afternoon, she was beaming. She climbed into the truck and practically vibrated in the seat from excitement. I suppressed a laugh at her adorable behavior and asked what had her so wired. "Marilee called a little while ago. Teach will be coming home in a week, as long as he keeps progressing at the rate he has been."
I forced myself to keep smiling, but all I felt was panic. "That's great. They've been away for quite a while. I'm sure they're both ready to be out of that place and back home."
She nodded happily. "I can't wait to see him. He's refused visits the entire time he's been gone, even from Talia and I, which stung a little. He didn't want to feel like he was on display." Her smile fell a bit. "Marilee said he had partial paralysis on one side in the beginning, and he didn't want anyone seeing him like that. We couldn't go against his wishes, so next week will be the first time I'll have seen him since before his stroke."
I didn't want to sound like I wasn't happy for her friend, but I had to ask. "So, what does that mean for you? Will you leave once he's back?" God, I sounded pathetic.
She straightened in her seat and looked at me, the smile frozen on her face as her brows rose. You could have heard a pin drop as I held my breath and waited for her answer. I almost wanted to reach out and pull the question back, afraid of what she might tell me.
Before she could respond, my phone rang through the speakers in my truck, scaring the shit out of both of us. She smiled and put a hand to her chest, her heart probably hammering like mine. Cursing, I fumbled with the controls on the steering wheel and snatched up my phone so I could take the call in privacy mode. "Hey, Spencer. What's up?" I thumbed the volume button on the side of the phone, subtly turning it down.
"Hey, manwhore. I have an update for you. What do you want first, the good news or the not so good news?"
Glancing over at Ali, I saw the worry on her face. I gave her a reassuring smile and told Spencer, "Good news."
I heard him fumbling through papers for a minute before he replied. "I had someone look into Marissa's recent activities, and I have confirmation that she was here in Richmond all weekend. It wasn't her."
I breathed out a sigh of relief as the weight of that possibility was lifted from my shoulders, inwardly cursing that I still hadn't heard from my own investigator. "You're absolutely sure?"
"Positive. I'm looking at her credit card statements, and I even have security footage to prove it was her making the charges."
"Do I even want to know how you got all that?" I probably didn't.
He scoffed. "Like I'd tell you, anyway. A man has to keep some things to himself." I knew that mantra all too well. "Suffice it to say Marissa is a non-issue. Now, for the bad news..." I heard typing in the background, but he didn't immediately elaborate.
I bristled. "You're doing it again, shithead. Just spit it out." My tone had Ali's total attention. Since Marissa had already been addressed, I thought it was time to bring Ali into the conversation. "You know what, hang on and let me put this back on speaker. Ali's here, and she should know what's going on."
He agreed and waited for me to make the switch back to Bluetooth. "You both there?" Ali answered for us, and he said a quick hello. "Okay, here's the deal. When I ran an image search for the two pics Lauren sent you, I found out they were originally posted online in December of last year. They were on two of her social media accounts until recently. It appears that they were removed some time Monday after she sent them to you to prove her whereabouts. She probably thought no one could find them once they were deleted. She's also 'checked-in' at a lot of places recently that I know she couldn't have been. According to her profile, she lives in Colorado and half her pictures are tagged as being taken on the West Coast. It's bizarre." He addressed Ali. "I'm going to assume you don't follow her on social media, otherwise you would have seen it."
The look of disgust on Ali's face was comical. "Um, no. I actually deactivated or deleted all my accounts a couple of years ago. Even if I hadn't, there's no way I'd follow her." Once the distasteful thought passed, she asked, "So, we know where she wasn't. How do we find out where she was? Her lying doesn't prove her guilt, just that she's not to be trusted. Believe me, I already knew that."
Spencer blew out a breath, sounding frustrated. "I can't find anything to track her with. She doesn't have any credit cards that I've found, and there's been no activity on her debit card in the last week. That fact in and of itself makes me suspicious. No one uses cash anymore, at least not exclusively."
Ali shrugged despondently, not that he could see it. "So we can't prove anything as far as she's concerned. What about Keith?"
"Keith's card was used Friday, but I haven't been able to get visual confirmation. The charge was made by phone to book a hotel room but I can't access the check-in time. So, I've called in a favor and am waiting for the footage from the entire night to be sent over. It may take until tomorrow. I'll let you know as soon as I hear something one way or the other."
Ali's good mood was shot but she smiled a
s she talked to Spencer, thanking him for all his help. I nearly laughed out loud when he told her she was in good hands with me. The blush that crept up her neck told me her mind had gone to the same place as mine.
We ended the call with Spencer and I asked where she wanted to go for lunch. Lauren wasn't coming in until later, so we opted for the diner. I was pretty sure Ali wanted to see Talia one more time before she went back to D.C. so she could fill her in on what we'd found out so far.
And I'd be sure to let her know she didn't have to worry about Ali.
I'd take good care of our girl in her absence.
THAT NIGHT ALI and I prepared dinner together. After the huge lunch Talia had insisted on serving us, we decided on salad for dinner to balance things out. She washed the vegetables and handed them off to me for chopping. We said little as we moved around the kitchen together like it was second nature.
Once we'd prepared our meal, we ended up in the living room, sitting cross-legged on the floor between the large couch and coffee table. I scrolled through the channels for something to watch while Ali poured two beers into frozen mugs. We settled on an old comedy and ended up laughing our way through dinner. It was just what we needed.
After clearing away our mess, we lounged on the couch, Ali leaning against me as she sipped her beer. She turned to me suddenly as if something had just occurred to her, one leg tucked under her and one on the floor as she sat sideways on the couch. "I never got to answer you earlier when you asked about my plans after Teach and Marilee get back."
Unsure whether I wanted the answer, I nodded.
She squinted slightly, studying me. "You assumed I'd leave once they were back, didn't you?"
Looking away, I shrugged. "I thought you'd be ready to get back home, back to your life once they didn't need you to run things here anymore."
