by Kara Jaynes
“It’s not just that,” Silvan said. “I need to get back before I’m discovered missing. It’ll be time for meditation, soon.”
“What’s that?” I asked. I hoped to stall for time, but Silvan saw through my ploy, and held out a pale hand. I took it reluctantly.
“It’s an exercise that helps you clear your mind. It feels like a waste of time, but Master wants me to learn it.”
We began trudging up the mountain slope in silence. I thought about Silvan’s life. I’d never met any of the Elite, but from the little that Silvan told me, I felt like I knew them better than my own people.
Something flickered at the corner out my eye, but when I turned to look, nothing was there. Silvan saw it, too, his pale brow furrowed with concern as he looked around the area.
“Did you see what it was?” I asked, and Silvan shook his head.
“No, but you can't be too careful in these mountains. Sometimes strange things happen.”
“Probably just a bird,” I said, but my body trembled with alarm. It wasn’t a bird, I knew that much.
“Maybe,” Silvan conceded, but he increased his pace, fingers curled around mine.
I blinked as a pale gray light materialized a few feet away, hovering a yard above the ground. It burned silently, giving off no heat.
“A fairy,” I breathed, my anxiety dissipating to be replaced with excitement. “Let's follow it!” I wrenched my hand away from Silvan and ran at the light. It disappeared, only to materialize a few feet farther away.
“Stop.” Silvan's voice cracked through the air like a whip, and I froze mid-step. “Don't follow it, Glacia. It's not a fairy.”
I looked at the little light. It bobbed innocently in the air, a burning orb of misty gray. “Then what is it?”
“It’s a ghost-light,” Silvan replied. He stepped off the path to retrieve me, gently leading me back to the dirt path. “Also known as a will-o’-the-wisp. Don't follow them, ever. They will lead you to your death.”
“It’s so pretty.” I studied the flame. “How can it be dangerous?”
“The mountain rock can be treacherous and uncertain,” Silvan replied, his blue eyes narrowed as he looked around, his body stiff, ready to explode into action. “Best to be on your guard. Come away.”
I followed him back up the slope, looking over my shoulder to watch the flame. In a moment, it winked out of existence.
“I don’t know much about the world,” I lamented. “I’m stupid.”
“Ignorance isn’t the same thing as stupid,” Silvan said in what he probably thought was an encouraging manner. “Don’t worry, I’m here to teach you everything I learn from Master.” He squeezed my hand.
I smiled back, and we made our way back to the wall, Silvan assisting me up the ivy-covered stone.
He left immediately after, leaving me alone in my little garden.
“Glacia?” I heard Nanny call, and I ran to find her.
“There you are,” she said, her voice a mix of sternness and relief. “I had begun to think one of the demons had stolen you.”
“I’m all right,” I offered, suppressing a shudder. I’d heard enough of the demons to be afraid of them, but I’d never seen one. I wrinkled my nose, a distant memory rising. Silvan had seen one before. I tucked the thought away, determined to ask him about it later.
I followed my nanny down the long, cold stone halls, leading me to the study room. Nanny no longer taught me my letters or numbers, as I’d learned them long ago. I was now taught by Holden, my tutor. He taught me history, advanced mathematics, and the Way of the Chosen. The Way and mathematics were terribly boring, but occasionally history was interesting. The other day, I’d read about mages and some of the different types of magic that some people were born with. Elemental, beast taming, and druidry, all painted in the light that magic was unpredictable and dangerous. Only fools and the wicked wielded magic. The lesson had bothered me. I knew there was something magical about Silvan. He hadn’t told me, I could just tell.
Today I was reading the history of the Chosen. “Here, we are safe,” my tutor said, ignoring his pet, a little terrier that constantly chewed on the hem of his pants leg. “Here, we’ve escaped the demons and their destruction. We abstain from magic, relying on the purity of the mind, and ostracizing those who don’t see our ways.”
“The demons are locked up,” I interrupted. “Surely magic can’t be all that bad, as long as those with dark magic are imprisoned or killed.”
Tutor Holden gave me a strange look, one I couldn’t read. “All magic is wrong, Glacia,” he said. “It doesn’t matter what kind it is, or where the source stems from. It is magic that destroyed the land. Logic and reason, and a deep love for this earth, are the only things that will restore it to health and glory. Now. Repeat after me. ‘Magic is not to be trusted, no matter its source.’”
I sighed heavily and repeated the words. I tried to keep my mind on history, but it kept slipping back to dwell on the silver-haired boy with blue eyes.
5
Silvan
I ran nimbly down the path, approaching my home. I hadn’t paused in my flight from Glacia’s garden, and my breath came in painful gasps. I was tired, but I didn’t halt my sprint. I had stayed out longer than I should have, and Master would have already begun meditation.
When I staggered under the doorway of his home, my chest heaving like a bellows, my peers were already seated, their eyes closed as they breathed evenly, palms on their knees.
Master stood at the front of the room, eyeing me with disapproval. “You’re late.”
“Sorry, Master,” I panted, bowing to the earth, touching my forehead to the ground. “I went for a run.” Which was true, just not the complete truth.
“Rise,” Master said impatiently. “Start your exercise.”
“Yes, Master.” I staggered to my feet, and walked near my friend, Daiki, and seated myself next to him. He didn’t respond, his face devoid of expression.
“Clear your mind,” Master intoned softly. “You are a gentle breeze. You cannot stop the thoughts from coming, but you can choose to continue on your way, to disregard them. Breathe in, breathe out.”
Glacia. I inhaled sharply, telling myself the heat in my face was from running. I pushed her away, trying to focus on my breath. My mind wandered to what I had for breakfast. Exhale. What I would have for dinner.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Glacia.
Exhale hard.
She was my secret. As I grew older, I had come to understand one of the unspoken reasons as to why women didn’t train with the Elite.
Women were a distraction.
A strange, mysterious, beautiful, wonderful distraction. I gritted my teeth, trying to focus on the rise and fall of my chest. I knew my friendship with the girl wasn’t a good thing. She was unclean. Unwholesome.
But what I’d been taught, and what I had seen, didn’t line up. I couldn’t forget the girl with the golden hair. Her sad sighs and gentle smile. The Elite were supposed to protect the people. I knew in my heart that Glacia needed me. I couldn't abandon her. I couldn’t. But I would work to keep my mind clean, just as Master had taught me.
I remembered the feel of her hand in mine and my fists clenched. I would try to keep my mind clean.
“Something is on your mind, Silvan,” Master said.
I swallowed. A bead of sweat trickled down my back. “Sorry.” I didn't have to fake the meekness in my voice.
“Clear your thoughts.” His voice was serene, like the motionless, cold water of an undisturbed pond.
I tried. I really did. I closed my eyes again. I clenched my teeth as Glacia's face appeared behind my eyelids, her expression filled with childlike wonder.
Except she was thirteen. Only a year younger than me. Not a child. But still naive. She'd been so awed and delighted by the little wisp floating in the valley, unaware of the danger it was. She wouldn't last a day outside of her garden withou
t my help.
“Silvan.” I cringed at the sternness that now tinged my Master's voice. “You're not even trying.”
I opened my eyes and ducked my head, my shoulders lifting in a submissive gesture, and he sighed heavily. “Go to the sparring yard,” he said. “You have too much pent-up energy in your mind.”
I didn't need to be told twice. I jumped to my feet, eager to get away.
“Daiki, go with him,” Master continued. “Show him how a calm mind can benefit in battle.”
With a hasty bow, I turned and hurried out the door, not waiting for my friend. The scent of spring blossoms floated in the gentle wind. I loved being outside, being close to nature. This was how a man should live. One with the wild.
Daiki caught up to me, matching his stride to mine. “What's up?” he asked. “Master is almost never annoyed with you.”
“You know I can't meditate,” I shot back. “It's such a stupid, useless waste of time.”
“I like it,” Daiki admitted. “I like clearing my mind of worries.”
Surprise flitted through me as I glanced at him. “What kind of worries could you possibly have? You're training with the Elite.”
My friend shrugged. He looked uncomfortable. “What if I don't make it? What if I'm not cut out to be one, despite all my training?”
“You'll make it,” I snorted. “You do everything the Master says. You're basically his most devoted student.” A sour pang of jealousy stirred in my gut. “You are able to do everything he asks, even boring things like meditation.”
Daiki rolled his eyes as we approached the sparring yard. “You know you're his favorite.” His expression turned curious. “What animal do you shift into, Silvan?”
Not ready to answer him, I ignored his question, breaking into a run to reach the small shed that housed the wooden practice weapons.
I knew Daiki’s shifting ability. He could change into the form of a great mountain cat, sleek and black. One of the more powerful fighters. He would make an excellent warrior someday. He worked very hard, so I didn't understand his worry. I selected two wooden swords, tossing one to my friend.
“Swords, again?” He grinned. “You need to pick some other weapons, sometimes.”
I always chose the sword when I could. It felt right, natural; like an extension of my arm, an outward expression of the energy and passion of my soul.
We began to circle each other, watching, waiting. I eyed his lean frame, looking for a slouch in the shoulders, a misstep, any weakness I could use against him. I found none.
With a roar, I attacked, unwilling to wait any longer. If I couldn't find a weakness, I would make one.
My sword was a blur as I hacked and slashed. I attacked low, aiming for his legs, then swiped higher, going for the shoulders. Daiki stayed on the defensive, stoically fending off my attacks. I gritted my teeth, trying to find an opening, but I found none. I was faster than Daiki, and stronger, but he was calmer, unruffled. He seemed to anticipate all moves, and easily fended off my attacks, his face a mask of concentration. He had excellent reflexes, and I wondered if it was a reflection of his mountain cat shifting ability.
“Where do you go so often, Silvan?” Daiki asked suddenly.
I blinked and grunted in pain when Daiki's sword landed on my side with a thump. His mouth curved in a satisfied smirk.
“I like the outdoors,” I replied truthfully. “I feel more grounded when I'm away.” Never mind it was Glacia who made me feel that way. Heat flushed my face, and I hoped Daiki mistook it for exertion.
Daiki nodded sagely, circling me again. I inhaled, warmth spreading in my stomach. My shifting ability was stirring. I exhaled and willed the feeling away. We sparred lightly now. “I see,” he said. “Like the great Elite Bohku. The texts read that he loved the wild, spending most of his life there.”
“Yeah. I'm kind of like that. I like the wild.”
“Is that all?” Daiki pressed. He eyed me, his expression one of puzzlement, still trying to engage me in conversation. “Is that all?” he repeated.
I frowned. “The mountains are my home,” I replied.
His wooden blade smacked my wrist. Daiki's eyes were narrowed as he studied me. “You’re losing focus. My questions bother you. Why? I feel like you have a secret, Silvan. You’re hiding something.”
This conversation was over. I exploded into action, letting my mind numb, giving control over to my body, to my instincts. My sword a whirling arc, I advanced, smashing any efforts Daiki had to defend himself. He stumbled under my onslaught and I used the hilt of my practice sword to hit him on the side of the head.
Daiki collapsed with a groan. I winced, a knife of guilt jabbing through me. I hadn't meant to smack him that hard.
“You win,” he moaned, rubbing his head. “Magic have mercy, that hurt.”
“Sorry.” Partially true. “Here.” I held out a hand and helped him to his feet.
Daiki headed back to meditation. I didn't. I couldn't sit still right now, my thoughts tumbling about in my mind. I settled for running through our town, back and forth, until exhaustion overwhelmed me. By evening, I was too tired to eat dinner, but felt victorious when I crawled into my bed.
Glacia was still my secret.
6
Glacia
Lifting my skirts above my knees, I waded into my little pond, observing the plants that grew there. Green and wet, I wasn't able to draw much information from observation.
“Those are pond lilies,” Silvan said, appearing suddenly at the top of the wall. “You can eat them raw in a salad, or chop them up into a soup. Not too bad, if you eat them with meat.”
“Really?” I took a closer look at the plants. “I wouldn’t have guessed that at all.”
“Yeah, they’re okay.” He scrambled down from the wall to stand before me, his cheeks flushing faintly when his gaze traveled down, and I realized I was still holding my skirts up to my thighs. My own face felt hot and I released them, letting the hem trail in the water. I felt pleased by his reaction, though I couldn’t quite say why.
“You’ve been gone for days,” I said as I climbed out of the pond. “I missed you.”
“Training has been very busy,” Silvan said apologetically. He took me by the hand, helping me out. “I think Master is getting suspicious.”
“Oh.” I tried to hide my disappointment, but Silvan saw it, and he immediately turned soothing, patting me on the head. “Don’t worry. I’ll still come to see you. I’ll just have to be more careful about it.”
I nodded.
“Your dress is wet.” The pink in Silvan’s cheeks deepened when he realized he’d stated the obvious. “You should probably change.”
“It’s not cold out,” I replied. “I’m fine. I can walk it dry.” I glanced sideways at him. “Maybe we could go Outside again.”
“No,” Silvan said, a little too quickly. “It’s not safe.”
I frowned. “It was just one ghost-light, Silvan.” I watched him out of the corner of my eye. “By the way, I did some studying on it. Its real name is ignis fatuus. Foolish fire.”
“I know,” Silvan replied. “But ghost-light is the more common name.”
“How do you know?” I replied, irritated that he seemed to know everything. “It’s said to live in the realm of Fae. It’s a wicked spirit that tries to lure humans into bogs and marshes.”
Silvan nodded. “Yes. I studied them, too. They are mentioned in our histories.”
“But,” I continued, “if you have gotten on the good side of the fairy folk, they have been known to lead people safely out of the woods, to home, or other civilization.”
“I see.” Silvan sounded distracted, his gaze darting all around us. He seemed nervous.
“What’s wrong?”
“Wait a moment.” Silvan broke away from me and raced back to the wall. He practically flew up the stone, and I stared, astounded. Silvan had never been clumsy, even as a child, but this was different, his movements almost serpentine.<
br />
He paused, his head peeking over the edge, his body poised, ready for action. His hands gripped the edge as he froze, motionless.
“Nothing.” He leaped lightly down. “We’re truly alone.”
“What are you worried about?”
Silvan paused, and I knew what he was thinking. He didn’t want me to worry. Silvan had always been like that. He always watched out for me, and protected me, trying to make me feel safe.
“Silvan?” I asked, and he shrugged his shoulders.
“I am just making sure I wasn’t followed here. A couple of the Elite tried to follow me today, and it took me a while to lose them. I just wanted to make doubly sure.”
“The Elite?” A tremor of alarm ran through me and Silvan patted me on the shoulder, back to his comforting self. “They didn’t find us. Don’t worry.”
“What if they did?”
Silvan lifted his hands in a questioning gesture. “I don’t know. I’d probably be punished, but that would be the extent of it, I think.”
“Would we be able to see each other again?” My breath shuddered. I couldn’t take the isolation again. I couldn’t be alone. I needed Silvan.
Silvan smiled encouragingly at me. “We’re fine, Glacia. No one has found us. Think about something else.”
“Okay.” I watched him a moment. “Can you show me what that was? When you climbed up the wall? Your movements were . . . fluid. Strange.”
The silver-haired boy grinned. “My training. It’s an extension of my ability. I was born to fight, Glacia. Come. Watch this.”
He walked over to where the flowers parted into a small cobblestoned yard. He stood still, inhaled deeply, and began a series of movements. His arms sliced through the air with powerful precision, his hands sometimes curled into fists or held out straight, like a knife. He kicked and spun around, impossibly light on his feet. I could only stare, astounded by it all. At the very end, he ran and did a backflip, ending in a defensive position with his fists up and out.
