by Kara Jaynes
“Glacia.”
His blue eyes stared intently at me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I blushed, looking away. Silvan muddled my mind.
“Are you going to be all right?” He still looked concerned.
I nodded, unhappy that I’d worried him. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for taking me out today.”
His silver brows rose with incredulity but he managed one of his dramatic bows, flourishing his arms. “Always a pleasure, my lady.” He took my hand, his lips lightly brushing my fingertips before he pulled away, looking startled by his actions. He smiled nervously, then turned and scrambled up the wall and was gone.
I stood there, heedless of the time passing, gazing down at my fingers. Nanny walked into the garden and boxed my ears for ignoring the call I didn’t hear. I hardly felt it.
When I went to bed that night, I still felt the memory of the kiss, burning on my fingertips.
9
Glacia
“Such an important event,” Nanny fussed, pulling me down the hall. She smiled, and I stared back, goggle-eyed. Nanny never smiled. “You are a woman, Glacia.”
“I've always been female,” I said, and Nanny laughed, her shrill voice echoing in the stone halls. “You're not a little girl, anymore,” she clarified. “You are grown.”
It was my birthday, and I was sixteen. My birthday had never been a notable event before, not since being isolated, so I wondered why this one would be any different. I knew better than to ask Nanny, though. She hated questions.
If I was sixteen, that meant Silvan was almost seventeen. The thought made me smile. Handsome Silvan.
Nanny mistook my smile. “This is such an exciting day for you.”
She tugged me to my room, where she opened the wardrobe. All my clothing was either gray or white. I stared at the array before me. Today the colors were no exception, but all my daily wear had been replaced with huge, puffy ball gowns, the fabric glittery and pristine. I’d never worn anything as fine as any one of these gowns. “Are these for me?” I whispered. I was almost afraid to ask.
“Of course,” Nanny said, her tone indicating that I had pudding between my ears. “You’re the future Crown.”
I was unable to hide my grimace. Forgotten Crown. That was the title whispered in dark corners, soaking into the stone. Seeping into my bones.
Nanny went through the dresses, peering at each one with a critical eye, before picking one. “This one is the prettiest.”
Without looking at it, I knew she was right. Nanny had very critical eyes.
I studied the dress. Blindingly white, it had little gems and sequins sewn into the skirts so it sparkled in the light.
“Hurry.” Nanny motioned me to remove my clothes, and it wasn’t long before I was squeezed into the new dress. Nanny laced up the back. “Don’t speak unless spoken to,” she said, grunting with the effort of trying to shrink my waist. I gritted my teeth and leaned forward a little, which allowed her to encase my middle in silk fabric and ribbons. “And for goodness sake, if you must speak, don’t ask any questions.”
I stood still as she combed my hair and slipped a small tiara on, studded with small white gems.
A couple of other maids darted into my room and began applying strange powder to my face. I blinked, hoping I wouldn’t get any of it in my eyes.
Nanny finally stepped back, gazing at me. “You’re beautiful,” she said, sounding as surprised by the statement as I was.
I'd never considered that I might be beautiful, and a warm glow settled in my stomach. Did Silvan think I was beautiful? I hoped so.
“It’s time. Follow me.” Nanny marched out of the room. I lifted my skirts and obeyed, trying not to trip on the hem. We went down some of the same, familiar halls I’d walked thousands of times. But this time, Nanny turned and began walking down a massive, spiral stone staircase.
I swallowed hard, trying to calm my skittering heartbeat as I followed. I’d never walked down these stairs before, wholly confined to the upper levels. I should be excited. Elated. But my body began to tremble with apprehension. Why was I here? Where was I being led? I didn’t know, but followed Nanny anyway.
A few servants scurried past, but aside from them, I saw no one. We continued to descend, until we reached the ground level, several stories below. Nanny turned to me.
“I must leave you here,” she said, her voice low and urgent. “Remember to stay silent, and only speak if you’re asked a question. Daughters are meant to be seen and not heard.”
Daughter. I realized I was going to see my parents. I hadn’t seen them in years. I couldn’t even remember their faces clearly. My world spun, and I staggered, clutching Nanny’s arm for balance.
“Pull yourself together,” she hissed, righting me. A flicker of emotion was in her eyes, then was gone. Pity? Annoyance? “Act properly. Remember my lessons. You’re a woman now, and I won’t be here for you anymore. Goodbye.” She turned on her heel and was gone, leaving me standing before two great doors. Nanny was no longer in charge of me. How did I feel about that? I didn't know. I still trembled, not looking the sentries in the eye. They opened the doors for me, and I walked past them.
I blinked, momentarily blinded by the light. Huge chandeliers hung down from the ceiling, the candles catching the facets of the dangling strands of crystal and diamonds. Long tables were placed in orderly lines, every one of them filled with food and drink. People sat at all the tables, every face turned toward me.
I hardly saw them. There was one table at the back of the room, set on a dais. Only two people sat there, a man and a woman.
The Head Crowns.
My father. My mother.
I clenched my fists, gripping the front of my skirts. I was afraid. Why was I here? What did they want?
I almost laughed at my fear. They were my parents; I had nothing to fear from them. If they have not seen me, it was because they were so busy keeping me safe, keeping their people safe. I had to believe that.
Father rose, a smile widening across his face as he gestured for me to come closer. I obliged, my heart thundering against my ribcage.
“Welcome, Glacia,” my father said. His voice was rich and warm, making me think of dark honey. He had pale brown eyes and dark hair.
We didn't look much alike. “Please, take a seat.” He pointed to the chair on his left.
I glanced over at the woman seated next to him. My mother. She was older than me by at least twenty years, but the similarity was still startling. She had long, blonde hair that cascaded past her shoulders, and the same cold, gray eyes.
She smiled blandly at me, like one might at a stranger, and as I slid into my chair, I realized I was exactly that.
My father clapped loudly, and the banquet commenced. Servants approached those seated, filling plates with food and goblets with punch. I stared down at the liquid in my glass, a dark red, reminding me of blood. Why had they brought me here?
It’s my birthday. I was sixteen. That meant I was not a little girl anymore. I was a woman. I glanced hopefully over to my parents, who were in discussion together. Did they desire my company now that I was an adult? I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but still, I had to try and gain their love. Somewhere, somehow, I had gone wrong. I had to have done something that made them ignore me. This was my chance to make it right.
“I’m happy to see you again,” I said to my father. He didn’t hear me, still locked in conversation with my mother. My face warmed in embarrassment, and I looked away. It served me right for blurting things out when other people were talking. I focused on eating.
I had always been fed well enough, but this food was particularly fine. Boiled meats, sweet puddings, salads, rolls, and sugared fruits were a few of the options that loaded the table. I barely touched any of it, my stomach roiling like fog on the wind.
Time felt frozen, everyone eating and drinking as they happily chatted with each other. I watched them, feeling a surge of jealousy. Everyone seemed to know each other. Why didn�
�t I have that? Why didn’t I have friends?
Except I did.
One.
But he was an Outsider, a person we were forbidden to interact with. Despite that, he had proven himself to be singularly the most wonderful person on the planet. Whatever the reason I was here, I wouldn’t abandon Silvan.
At length, my father pushed back his chair and stood. He was a tall man, but he seemed even taller standing on the dais. A hush fell immediately on the crowd as everyone watched him expectantly, waiting.
“I want to thank you all for gathering,” Father said in a loud, commanding voice. “I’m sure you all know why we’re gathered here today.”
I don’t! I wanted to scream.
Father turned to me with a big smile on his face. “My daughter, Glacia, is a beautiful,”—he blinked, looking startled by his words, as if just noticing—“and accomplished girl. She has turned sixteen, which means she has become a woman.” He paused for a moment, eyeing me closely. “That means she is old enough to marry. When she does, she will secure her position as future Head Crown with whomever she chooses to marry. The responsibility to produce an heir rests on her.”
My hands gripped the edge of the table, knuckles bone-white. My vision blurred.
Marriage. I’m supposed to get married. How could I not have seen it? Of course, that’s why they were suddenly interested in me. I was supposed to carry on the legacy that my parents shouldered after my grandparents, and great-grandparents.
“Are you not happy, daughter of mine?” Father’s voice broke into my thoughts.
I looked up, and found my parents watching me. Father looked merely puzzled, while my mother looked at me with an expression of mild disgust. She either didn’t understand my reaction, or it was something else.
“It’s all rather sudden,” I managed.
Father laughed heartily. “You’ll get used to it. I suspect life as a woman will be very different from that as a child. Tonight is the last night you will spend in your nursery. You will be given different rooms tomorrow.”
No. No! What if I didn’t see Silvan tonight? He wouldn’t know how to find me. I swallowed, plastering on a fake smile. I felt like I was dying inside.
I looked away from them, only to lock gazes with a man seated at the table closest to ours. He was younger than my father, but definitely older than me. With long midnight hair and large brown eyes, I supposed some probably thought him handsome, but all I could think was how unlike Silvan he looked. He smirked when he caught me looking at him, and cocked an eyebrow.
“That’s Gerald,” Father breathed in my ear, making me jump. “He’d be a very advantageous match in marriage.”
“I see.” The man continued to watch me, and I looked away first.
The remainder of the night passed in a haze. I had no appetite, no will to engage in conversation with my parents or the crowd of people they led me into. I knew I was being rude, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to be here anymore.
I was introduced formally to Gerald. He towered over me, his hands rough and strong when he clasped mine, pulling me forward a little as his lips pressed against my knuckles. “I’m honored to meet you,” he said fervently. He and my father shared an unreadable glance. Father nodded slightly.
I didn’t know what that meant, but it couldn’t be good. When the party was finally over, I fled down the halls that would take me to my room.
I would be forced to marry Gerald. I could feel it in my gut.
What would it be like to live with someone I didn’t love? To share a bed with them? Someone who wasn’t Silvan.
A life without my silver-haired boy. A choked sob escaped me as I flung open the door to my room and ran to my bed. I didn’t bother undressing. I didn’t have the energy for it.
A life without Silvan would be no life at all.
10
Silvan
I perched in the tree outside Glacia’s window, wrapped gift in hand. It was her birthday today. I knocked on the glass several times, but she seemed to be out. I couldn’t guess as to where she was; she was almost always home, especially this late in the evening.
I glared down at the wrapped package I held. Such a silly thing. Still, it seemed like a fitting gift. Would she like it? Where was she now?
My fingers were cold, so I blew on them, my breath warm. I hoped she was all right.
I started in surprise as the door to Glacia’s room flew open and she rushed in, throwing herself on her bed. I couldn’t hear her through the glass, but I could see her shoulders were shaking. Something was terribly wrong.
“Glacia,” I hissed, tapping on the glass gently.
She got out of bed and ran over to the window, opening it. I stared, my eyes wide. She looked incredible. She’d already had a slim waist, but she looked even thinner, in a pleasing sort of way. Her dress was long and flowing, sparkling in the dim light, her blonde hair tumbling in perfect waves about her shoulders. “I didn’t think you would come,” she said.
“Of course I did,” I replied, climbing into her room. “I promised I wouldn’t forget. It’s your birthday, isn’t it?”
“Some birthday,” she muttered darkly. She blinked and hastily wiped at her eyes.
“What happened?” I asked.
Glacia grasped my free hand. “Come sit.”
My heartbeat picked up in alarm when she sat on the bed, watching me expectantly. I complied, sitting gingerly on the edge. I could almost see what Master's expression would be if he could see me now. I gulped, watching Glacia warily.
“I saw my parents today,” Glacia said quietly, looking at the floor.
“Really?” This was unexpected. For whatever odd reason, her parents had kept her isolated the entire time I’d known Glacia. “Why?”
Glacia heaved a sigh. “I guess I’m old enough for them to start thinking about the possibility that I may rule someday.” She fell silent for a moment before continuing. “My parents want me to marry.” She inhaled shakily. “They want me to marry a man I don’t love.” She threw her hands up. “I don’t even know him! How can I marry someone I don’t know?”
“Why do they want you to marry him?” I asked.
Blonde locks swaying, Glacia shook her head. “Father told me it's an advantageous match. Gerald is from a prominent family, and they have been staunchly loyal to the Head Crowns.” She sniffed. “He's so much older than me. Why didn't he marry sooner? Has he been waiting for me?” She shuddered. “How can I spend the rest of my forever with him?”
I resisted the urge to wrap her in my arms and keep her close. The need to protect her was so strong I almost couldn't breathe. My limbs felt strange, like they were charged with lightning. I took a calming breath, inhaling deeply before I spoke.
“I agree,” I said. “You shouldn’t marry someone you don’t love.”
“Have you ever thought about getting married?” she asked. The unconcealed hopeful gaze in her eyes was like a stab to the heart. She wouldn’t be against marriage, if it was to someone she loved.
I cringed inwardly at my reluctance to tell her, but I didn’t have a choice. “No, I haven't,” I said, hating myself for it. “The Elite don't marry. It is forbidden to our society.”
For a brief moment, the pain and loneliness in Glacia's eyes could be seen. She blinked and it was gone. “Oh.” She looked down, fiddling with one of the gems sewn on her dress. “I didn't know that.”
A terribly awkward silence stretched between us, until I wanted to shout simply to break the quiet.
Glacia finally shrugged. “That sounds like a good idea. I won't get married, either.”
“Glacia,” I began, but she shook her head, silencing me.
“Can you get me out of here?” she pleaded. “I can't stay here anymore, Silvan, I can't. I need to leave the Chosen. For good.”
I bit my lower lip and my furrowed my brow, trying to think of a way to save her. I knew I couldn't bring her back to the Elite. Not for long. They allowed refugees to stay for a
short time, but nothing long term. I was also afraid to let any of them see her, as if somehow they would discover what she meant to me.
“You can't stay with the Elite,” I said, “but I'll see what I can do. There are some villages at the foot of the mountains. I'm sure one of them can take you in.”
Glacia nodded, her pale face drawn with worry. She was exhausted.
I patted her on the cheek. “Sleep,” I said. I hoped I sounded soothing. “Sleep always make me feel better.”
Glacia shook her head. “I can't breathe in this thing.”
Heated flooded my face when I realized she meant her dress. Quickly rising to my feet, I edged away from the bed. “I see. Well, I'll leave you to that, then.”
Glacia rubbed at her eyes tiredly before she flailed her arms behind her, trying to reach the ties. “Just untie it. I'll get dressed behind the standing curtains. I don't want to call the servants.”
Ears burning, I reached out with shaking fingers, and gently untied the ribbons that laced up the back of her dress. I loosened them carefully, making sure I didn't undo it too much, but enough so she could get out unassisted. Because I certainly couldn't help her with that. “There,” I said, more gruffly than I intended, “I did it.”
“Thank you.” When she turned around, I caught the faint scent of floral soap. She smiled timidly and then snatched a nightgown from her wardrobe and hurried to dress behind the curtains. I looked out the window. Even watching the standing curtain felt scandalous.
My ability made my hearing keen, and I heard the swish of silk as her dress hit the floor, then a faint scuffle as she pulled on her nightgown. I cleared my throat, looking out at the quiet garden before me, dark blue in the fading twilight. The night was settling over the land, stars beginning to spring into the sky. Daiki and my other fellow trainees would be wondering where I was.
