He bit into his lips and started pushing his dick into my mouth, unable to stay still. I moved even faster, rubbing my pussy up and down, left and right, wanting to take him inside of me right this moment. I was all wet and ready for him, wanting him badly inside as if he hadn’t already fucked me several times today.
As if he read my mind, he moved quickly, pinning me under him, and he put my legs over his shoulders. I was so open to him like this—so vulnerable—and when he thrust inside of me, it really felt like he was going to rip me in two. I was so full of him, but I still wanted more.
“Noah! Yes!”
“How does this feel?” He pounded into me wildly, his cock filling me to the brim, and it felt too good to be true.
“Don’t stop.” I kept calling his name, unbelievably wet. “It’s so good. I want more. Fuck me harder please!”
“Oh God, yeah.”
He fondled my breasts, his gaze darting between my face and the place where our sexes met, picking up his pace.
“You feel too damn good, baby. I could go on like this the whole night.” His thrusts came faster, and it was mind-blowing. He didn’t stop, mercilessly hitting me as he drove us both to our orgasms. But then he stopped and pulled out of me. “Not so fast,” he said and made me go on all fours. “I want to see you like this.”
He traced my spine with his hand and reached my butt, touching me so lovingly. I leaned into his touch and threw my head backward, a raspy moan slipping over my lips when he rubbed my clit with his fingers.
He positioned himself behind me and entered me again, this time fucking me much more slowly but harder. Each thrust sent him straight to my cervix, which created a mixture of dull pain and pleasure that grew higher with seconds. My world was all Noah, existing in incessant pleasure that was him.
“Ah, yes. You feel so good in me.” He grasped my hair again and yanked me toward him, making me look at him over my shoulder. I was panting, captured by his dark gaze.
“I want to see you. I want to see you as I spill my load into you. Take it, baby. Take my load.”
Both of us moved faster, our gazes locked as our pleasure got closer to another peak. I was too close, so full of his huge dick, and when I orgasmed, his release came quickly after, his sperm filling me in several thick jets.
“This isn’t over,” he said after some time. “The night has just begun.”
* * *
Even though it was close to three in the morning, neither of us could fall asleep. We looked at each other in the semi-dark room as we lay on our sides, sharing a silence that spoke more than any words could. I traced his cheek idly with my finger, wanting to memorize the feel of him.
I knew I had to tell Noah the truth: that he had a daughter, but I was suddenly overcome with fear.
“A penny for your thoughts?” he asked me, breaking the silence.
“I’m thinking how lucky I am to have found you.”
He threw me a lazy smile. “Yeah? I feel the same.”
“I guess we were destined to be?” I joked and giggled. “Sorry, it’s something that my sister would say. She likes sappy things like that.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s not sappy at all.” He caressed my hair, observing me with unusual softness. “I feel the same way. We were able to find each other and be together.” He planted a small kiss on my cheek.
“I’ve regretted many times not leaving you my number, often wondering what it would be like if we heard from each other after Australia. I used to indulge myself into a fantasy of you and me being together, despite my father’s or my family’s wishes.”
“Do you think your family will accept me?”
A small frown formed on his face, and he looked away as he thought about the answer. “I won’t lie to you. My mom wasn’t particularly happy with me when I told her about you.”
“Why?”
“Because she thinks you’re not the right one for me.” He cupped my cheek, sending me a reassuring smile. “But it doesn’t matter. Because I won’t give up on you no matter what she or anyone else says.”
“I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”
“Don’t worry about that, because you aren’t doing anything. My family has to learn to accept my choices and let me live my life for a change.”
He pulled me into his embrace, holding me against his chest, and I closed my eyes. His strong heartbeat had a calming effect on me, almost lulling me into sleep.
But there was something I had to tell him. It was now or never.
“There’s something important I need to tell you.”
He stroked my hair, his arm holding me against him. “Yes?”
I had to untangle myself from his embrace to look at him because I wouldn’t be able to say it any other way. “When we had our fling in Australia four years ago…” My heart pumped faster. This was it. This was the moment of truth.
As if sensing how serious my next words were going to be, he sat up. “Yes?” he prompted. Okay. I could say this. It was going to be alright.
“I got pregnant.” He widened his eyes, shock written all over his face, and a big lump formed in my throat. “Her name is Maya. And you’re her father.”
20
Noah
* * *
There weren’t many things that shocked me in life. Truth be told, it wasn’t that easy to shock me at all.
When my father told me he wanted me to marry his friend’s daughter, I didn’t even flinch, accepting what I had known all this time—sooner or later, I would have to give up on my life and conform to my family’s wishes. He was dying, so I didn’t think about my decision, accepting early on I had to force myself to be someone I wasn’t to make others happy.
I didn’t even blink when I found out about Melanie cheating on me, dealing with the news in a pretty calm way.
And even though seeing Jessica after four years could be defined as a miracle, a hidden part of me had always kept some twisted hope that I could see her again one day.
So yeah. I could deal with pretty much anything.
But finding out a had a daughter—from a person who I thought I could fully trust, no more, no less—stunned me, sending all my thoughts racing.
Jessica got pregnant. I was the father.
I couldn’t even grasp it.
I had a daughter all this time.
“What?” I just asked, dumbfounded, and stood up. I needed to move and I needed to think. “You can’t… How… Fuck.” I grabbed my head. “I can’t believe this.”
“It’s true.”
“How come I know about this only now?”
“At first, I didn’t have your number, Noah. I didn’t even know your last name. Remember? So I couldn’t look for you and tell you I got pregnant.”
I went over our encounter in Australia in my head, trying to accept this new reality. Fine, she couldn’t have told me about our daughter before, but why didn’t she tell me anything all this time?
“Why didn’t you tell me anything? You should’ve told me this at the engagement party.”
She chuckled in disbelief. “You can’t think that for real. How do you expect me to say something like that when we haven’t seen each other in four years? And that was your engagement party, Noah. An engagement party. Do you really think I could’ve just told you about our daughter? Be realistic. I couldn’t just barge into your life and drop a bomb on you.”
I grabbed my boxers and trainers and put them on, seething. “You could’ve told me after that. You could’ve told me after I called the engagement off! You had a plenty of opportunities to do that, but you didn’t say a word.”
She got up from the bed and slipped into her undershirt before she faced me. “You’re right. I had a plenty of opportunities to tell you the truth, but I didn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to let you know about her.”
At first, I thought I didn’t hear her well, astonished she would say something like
that. And then I was seeing red. She’d actually thought to hide her from me. What the hell?
“What? Why the fuck not?”
“Because my daughter is mine. Besides, you were never the part of our lives.” Her eyes filled with tears, her body visibly shaking.
“You don’t understand, Noah. You don’t understand what it’s like to be a single mother. To have to raise a daughter on your own and make sure she’s happy. Do you know how many times I wished she could hug her father? Do you know how many times I cried when she asked about you?”
“Don’t make yourself a victim. I didn’t know about her! I would definitely have been there for both of you if I’d known about her.”
“I know, and that’s not what I’m trying to say. My point is that I got over being forced to be a single mother a long time ago, accepting that I would be both her mother and father her whole life.”
“That’s messed up. And it still doesn’t justify the fact that you didn’t tell me anything about her.”
Her tears burst out, her face twisting in pain. “You don’t understand! I couldn’t trust you. Yes, I’ve always been attracted to you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you about my daughter. That’s not how it works. I have the right to decide what’s the best for her, and I wasn’t sure telling you would be the right choice. You had your life to live, which didn’t include me or my daughter.”
“Stop saying ‘my’ daughter!” I exploded, breathing unevenly. My pulse was racing, hurt and anger rushing through my veins. “And you don’t have the right, because I’m her parent as well! You didn’t have the right to decide anything without talking to me! And it’s ridiculous that you think that a life without her father would be the best solution for her and that my life doesn’t include you two. You don’t have a fucking clue about my life!”
“Noah, you really don’t understand—”
“No, you don’t understand! And I’m furious that you actually planned to hide her from me. I have every right to be the part of our daughter’s life. I can’t believe that you actually thought to keep her away from me.”
“I understand your anger, but please, put yourself in my shoes. I couldn’t just tell you about her. I couldn’t. One day, you didn’t exist, and the next you were there, and it was quite a shock, especially because you were about to marry another woman. I had many reasons not to tell you about her. But now that we got to know more about each other, I was starting to think about the possibility to let you be a part of our lives.”
“Let me? Screw you, Jessica.” She winced, but I didn’t stop, too angry to care about her pain. “Screw you. Even if you and I never ended together, I had every right to know. You can’t just decide for me and keep my daughter away from me. Can you even imagine how awful I feel knowing she existed all these years, and I never even knew about her?”
She rubbed her upper arms, her face soaked with her tears. “I know, and for that I’m sorry.”
“You were ready to deny me her, which makes me so furious that I can’t even think properly now. All these days I thought you were real, you know? I felt like I could fully trust you. But all that time you were hiding this from me, and frankly, now I feel like everything was fake.”
She gasped, taking a few steps closer to me, but I moved away, refusing to be anywhere near her. Right now, I couldn’t even stand to be in the same place as her.
“No, it wasn’t fake. Nothing was fake. The moment I realized I fell for you, I knew I was going to tell you. There was no way for me to hide her from you.”
Something in my chest warmed at her admission that she fell for me, but it was quickly suppressed by anger and hurt because of her betrayal. Hearing about my daughter now didn’t just the fact that she hid her from me all these days.
Jesus. I had a daughter. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around that. I was a father.
I clenched my jaw with another wave of anger and forced myself to look at her. I wanted to be anywhere but here right now. “This doesn’t change the fact that you weren’t honest with me, and frankly, I can’t look at you now.”
She closed the distance between us and grasped my hands. “Please, Noah, don’t say that. I’m sorry. We can make this work.”
My chest ached seeing the tears on her face, and for a moment, I thought about wiping them off her face and pulling her into a hug, but I didn’t. I couldn’t just forgive her and act like this was nothing.
“I’m so sorry. I understand that this wasn’t completely fair to you, but everything is going to be fine. Please, don’t be mad.”
I pried her hands off me and stepped back, shaking my head at her. “Don’t touch me. Nothing you can say will make a difference.” I looked around the cabin, all enthusiasm about this weekend gone in a second. I just needed to go back home and think carefully about this.
“We’re done here. We’re going back home first thing in the morning.”
She grew pale, sadness fixed on her face, but she didn’t object. She backed away from me and sat down on the bed, her gaze fixed on the floor. “I understand.”
Unable to stay here even a minute longer, I threw my shirt on and put on my sneakers. I turned to look at her one last time, gripping the door handle. “I don’t know if I can forgive you, Jessica. I really don’t know.”
I got out and closed the door shut, the sound of her whimper the last thing I heard before I marched away.
21
Noah
* * *
I spent the whole Sunday night thinking about my argument with Jessica. I couldn’t sleep, tossing around in my bed as I thought about the daughter I never met.
Despite the initial shock, I was inexplicably happy and burning with curiosity to meet my little girl. What was she like? What was her favorite food? What did she look like when she smiled? So many questions.
I imagined holding her in my arms, or putting her to sleep, or playing with her. So many things to do, and the more I thought about them, the more impatient I got to see her.
Jessica had sent me a few texts saying she was sorry and that she hoped I could understand her feelings. She wanted us to start over, but this time with our daughter too.
I didn’t reply to her, at sixes and sevens over what I should do. I remembered her tears and the pain on her face in the cabin and was close to calling her and telling her we could start over. I still felt the same about her, and even though I had every right to be angry at her, somehow it didn’t seem fair.
I felt that maybe I had overreacted, trying to look at this from her perspective. What she did wasn’t right, but she told me the truth in the end, so did it really matter? She was just doing what she thought was best for our daughter, so I couldn’t quite hold it against her.
Maybe we could start over and fix our past mistakes.
The next morning, I was getting dressed for work when I received a call from my mother.
“You’re right,” she said soon after I picked up. “You have the right to live your life the way you want it, and no one should stop you from doing what you want.”
I was surprised that she changed her mind so suddenly. “Don’t get me wrong—I’m glad that you think this way—but what made you reconsider?”
“I was thinking about your father and the way we raised you, and I was able to see some things from a different perspective. All your life, we pushed you to do things our way, never considering your feelings. It was all for the sake of your happiness, but we failed to see that we had been doing just the opposite.”
She made a long sigh. “I don’t want you unhappy, dear. And I have to trust in you and respect your choices. So if you really want to be with Jessica, then so be it.”
This was relieving to hear. “Thanks, Mom. This means a lot to me.”
“So when do I get to meet her?”
I thought about fresh beginnings and how I felt about Jessica, and I reached the conclusion. This didn’t change anything. I still wanted to be with her.
“Probably s
oon, but first, I want to tell you some news.”
“Uh-oh. With all your surprising revelations lately, I don’t know what to think.”
“Believe me, it’s pretty shocking.”
“Noah, you’re scaring me. Spit it out.”
“I have a daughter.”
For a few long seconds, there was only silence on her end, and I could imagine the kind of face she had now. There wasn’t any easy way to say something as stunning as this.
“And Jessica’s her mother.”
“Oh my God. Oh dear God. I… I don’t understand. Please, explain it to me because this is too much.”
“I told you how I met Jessica in Australia four years ago. Well, she got pregnant then.”
“Oh my God,” she repeated it, her voice trembling. “You have a daughter with Jessica?”
“Yes. I found out about her only last Saturday.”
She squealed, sounding like a little girl and not the woman of her age. “Noah, that’s wonderful news! I have a granddaughter! It’s so unbelievable, but I’m so, so happy.”
It took me a moment to process her unexpected reaction. A huge smile spread over my face, my heart pumping faster with excitement because she was this accepting. I could imagine it—my daughter and my mother together, while Jessica and I stood by their side. I wanted that more than anything.
“Did you see her?”
“No, but I’m going to see her today,” I said, planning to go to Jess’s place later and fix everything.
“Oh, I can’t wait to meet her! Noah, you must take photos of her and send them to me. I want to see my granddaughter!”
I rolled my eyes. “Calm down, mom. Step by step. Let me meet her first.”
“I know. Oh, Noah. I’m so happy for you. To think that I finally got a granddaughter. I can’t wait to see her. Wow. I can’t believe I have a granddaughter! Wait until I tell my friends this.”
I was in a great mood when I finished the call, and I had a smile on my face that I couldn’t take off for the rest of my day. I got earlier off my work, too eager and a bit nervous to meet my daughter. I didn’t know how she would react when she saw me, but I knew I would do anything I could to have her accept me.
Picture Perfect: A Second Chance Secret Baby Romance Page 11
