by Monica James
We follow Finch into the living room. A bottle of white wine and a cheese platter sits on the coffee table. “Please, sit. Dinner is almost ready.” He heads back into the kitchen, while we take a seat on the sofa.
“Wine?” I ask Maddy, reaching for the bottle.
“Yes, please.” I don’t even bother asking Hunter, as I know what his answer will be.
“So, Cherry Pie, how you been?” I casually peer over at Hunter as I pour the wine. What’s he up to?
“Never been better,” she innocently replies.
“That’s awesome. I’m happy you guys worked out your shit. The doctor was one sorry sad sack,” he reveals, lounging back in his seat.
I pass Maddy her glass, ensuring my hands don’t shake. This secret is turning me into a paranoid mess.
“Were you?” she asks softly, sipping the wine.
“Of course I was,” I reply without delay, not at all ashamed.
“It’s good to see you shaved. And showered,” Hunter teases while I smirk. “But honestly, it’s good to see you happy, Dix.”
I look over at him, surprised to catch him with his serious face on. “Thanks, man.”
He reaches for the wine. “You know what would make me happy?” We both look at him. “If you’d call Mary.”
And just like that, his serious face is promptly replaced with his horny one. I can’t help but laugh. “I’ll give you points for trying.”
“But?”
“But I know you’ll do something to piss her off, and I value my nuts where they are, as I’ll be guilty by association.”
Maddy almost spits up her wine while Hunter chuckles roughly.
“I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.” Heidi enters the room with a sleepy Gabriella in her arms. “She wouldn’t go to sleep until she saw Uncle Dixon.”
“Is that right?” I place my glass on the table and stand. “Hello little bambola.” Gabriella extends out her chubby little arms as I walk toward her. “You’re getting heavy,” I say as Heidi passes her over to me.
She replies with a bunch of gibberish before giggling and pulling at my nose. If only my life was that simple.
“Gabby, I want you to meet someone.” Turning her around, I say, “See that pretty lady over there?” Gabby babbles on happily as I point at Maddy. “Well, that’s Madison.” I lightly grip her tiny wrist and wave at a smiling Maddy, who waves back.
“Hi, Gabriella. You’re just beautiful.”
Gabby cackles loudly when I tickle under her chin. “She just adores you, Dixon,” Heidi reveals, looking lovingly at her daughter.
“Well, I simply adore her, too.” I tap her on the nose.
“You’re going to make a great dad one day,” she innocently states, while I try not to blanch.
I smile weakly, hoping no one can read my instant retreat because all I can think is that one day is too soon.
“I think I’ll be way cooler,” Hunter composedly says. In true Hunter fashion, he’s eased an uncomfortable situation by cracking a joke. I must remember to thank him.
Both Heidi and Maddy laugh, none the wiser that I’m squirming where I stand.
“How rude of me. I’m Heidi. I was too mesmerized by how good my daughter looks in your man’s arms,” she says, walking over to Maddy, who stands.
“Me too,” she dreamily replies, still looking my way.
The girls hug and talk amongst themselves while I look over at Hunter, who raises his eyebrows and blows out a silent breath of relief for the both of us.
* * *
Dinner has been wonderful. Everyone loves Madison—not that I ever doubted they would.
Conversation and food has flowed freely, and not a minute has been filled with uncomfortable silences. I don’t remember it being this way with Lily (the lying, cheating ex-fiancée), and that’s because Lily was an antisocial bitch who thought she was too good for any of my friends, bar Leo (the lying, cheating ex-best friend), of course.
But she’s a distant memory, thanks to Madison.
“Are you sure it’s okay if she comes over?” Maddy’s sweet voice brings me back to the now.
“Of course it’s okay. Tell her, Finch,” Hunter says, speaking on behalf of the hosts as he nods animatedly.
“Of course,” Finch replies with a grin.
Hunter beams and attempts to fist-bump with Finch, but he looks down at his fist, confused.
I actually think he’s got a thing for the fiery redhead. “I haven’t seen you this excited since you discovered RedTube,” I state, sipping my wine.
The entire table bursts into laughter, including Hunter, who doesn’t deny my claims.
“Okay. As long as you’re sure. I’ll call her now.” When Maddy stands to fetch her bag, I too stand, as I need a cigarette.
“I’m just going out for a smoke.” As I make my way to the balcony doors, I look over my shoulder, surprised to see Hunter and Finch following close behind.
“We’ll keep you company.” Thanks to Finch’s nonexistent poker face, I know I’m about to be grilled. The moment the glass door slides shut behind me, I brace myself for what’s about to come.
“Spit it out,” I demand, placing the Marlboro between my lips and lighting up. I don’t even bother to turn around.
“Madison is a sweet, kind girl, Dix.”
I nod. “I know.”
“I just…we think you should tell her.”
Blowing out a smoke ring, I watch it evaporate before I reply. “Thank you for your concern, Finch, but no. This is for the best.”
“Oh, cut the crap. Stop dicking around with Juliet and tell Madison the truth.” I turn around and lean against the railing as I look at Hunter.
“I am not dicking around with Juliet. That’s the whole point of this. My dick is clean,” I explain for the hundredth time.
“Yeah, but your—your—soul isn’t,” he refutes, nodding smugly, challenging me to contest his ridiculous claim.
Pulling back, I can’t help but laugh. “My soul? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“Look man, I’m only saying this because I love your ugly ass, but how long can you live this double life before one of them finds out?”
“I’ve done well so far. Neither will ever find out,” I reply arrogantly.
Hunter shakes his head. “That’s not the point.”
I spread my arms out wide. “Then what is?”
However, when Finch lowers his eyes, I look his way to answer my question. “It’s wrong.”
I point toward the balcony doors, pinning them both with my stare. “So is breaking Madison’s heart. And that’s exactly what’ll happen if I tell her.”
Finch runs a hand over his beard, appearing troubled. “I don’t agree. Give her some credit, Dix. I really think she’ll understand. You can come back from telling the truth. But lying to her this way—you can’t.”
“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Both Finch and Hunter sigh, appearing angered by my stubbornness, but I’m not budging on this as I’ve made my bed and I’m prepared to lie in it.
“Thank you for your concern, but drop it.”
“You’re such a stubborn asshole,” Hunter declares, his tone revealing he’s given up.
I flip him off. “Thank you.”
The phone vibrating in my pocket is a godsend. As I pull it out, I see I’ve received a text from Juliet.
Are you busy?
Yes. Why?
I wanted to talk.
About what?
About us.
“It’s her, isn’t it?” Hunter asks, attempting to look at my screen.
I ignore him and turn around. What about us?
I want to know where we stand.
My stomach drops. Is she clueing on to my plan? You stand with your fiancé.
I’ve come to realize it’s not the place I want to be. Are you still seeing Maddy?
Shit. Idle hands are the devil’s plaything. Juliet must be home alone, thinking over everything I’ve said
.
Yes. I decide to be honest to gauge her response.
So what am I to you?
I think the better question is, what am I to you? I’m not the one who’s engaged.
Are you with her now?
“Dixon, seriously. You need to stop this.”
But what Finch and Hunter don’t understand is that I can’t. I’ve invested far too much to stop now.
Yes.
Choose.
And there it is. Juliet is back, and badder than ever. I knew breaking her would take time, but I need to step it up.
Hating myself more than ever, I reply, I’ll be there in 20.
“I have to go,” I state, slipping my phone into my back pocket.
“Dix!” Hunter scolds. “Do not go to her.”
Ignoring him, I butt out my smoke and turn to look at Finch. “Thanks for having me, Finch.”
“You’re really going? We haven’t even had dessert yet. And what about Maddy? What are you going to tell her?”
“Don’t worry about it, it’s under control.”
Hunter angrily states, “No, it’s not under control. What does she want from you? I mean, you say you’re not sleeping with her. So why are you going over there? I doubt it’s to play a game of Yahtzee!”
I run my hands down my face. “She wants to win.”
“Win what?”
“Me!” I heatedly spit, poking myself in the chest. “Don’t you get it? This has never been about sex. It’s always been about control. And power. And now that she’s lost that, she wants it back. She can’t stand that I’m happy when she’s not. I have to allow her to believe that she’s winning. That she’s in control, as it’s the only way I can get out of this. It’s the only way I can keep Madison safe! If you only knew what she did to Madison, you wouldn’t be so quick to disapprove. She deserves this. Every single thing I plan on doing to her, she fucking deserves.”
Hunter’s face drops when he reads my frustration loud and clear. “Dix—” but he stops when the balcony door opens.
We all turn our attention to Maddy, who is standing before us. By her slightly narrowed gaze, she knows something is up. But she chooses to ignore it. “So, Mary will be here in around forty-five minutes. She’s just finished work, so she’ll shower and come straight over. I hope that’s okay.” Her gaze bounces between us. I bottle my anger because I need to get a grip.
“That’s fine,” Finch nervously replies.
I hate that I’ve put him in this position, but I can deal with my guilt tomorrow. “Actually, I’ve got to go,” I reveal, thankful I sound composed.
“Go? Go where?” Madison asks, her brows furrowing in confusion.
“There’s been an emergency at work that I have to deal with.”
“Oh? But it’s Saturday.”
“I know. But my patients don’t care what day it is. I’m sorry.” I walk over to her, giving her a gentle smile. “But you stay.”
She sighs, looking disappointed. “It’s okay. You can just drop me off at home on the way.”
That’s the first time she’s suggested going back there. But that won’t happen. It can’t. Seeing as that’s my stop, too.
I shake my head. “No. Stay. I won’t be long. And besides, I think Hunter may just cry if he doesn’t get to see his girlfriend.” I turn to look at Hunter, who smiles half-heartedly. He’s so not impressed with me right now.
As she works her lip, she finally agrees. “Okay.” But I can see the hint of doubt behind her eyes.
Needing to erase that look, I reach into my pocket and pull out my wallet. Searching inside, I pull out my spare key. “Just in case you want to go, and I’m not back in time. Get Hunter to drive you back to my place, and I’ll meet you there.” I open up her hand and place my key into her palm.
“Okay. Thanks. I’ll give it back to you.”
Brushing my knuckle down her cheek, I shake my head. “Keep it. It’s yours.”
Her eyes widen. “W-what?”
I can’t help but smile at her response. “You heard me. Keep it.”
She holds up the key, waving it in my face. “This is a key. To your home,” she states, appearing stunned that I would give this to her.
“I know what it is,” I reply calmly.
“And you’re giving it to me? To keep?” she clarifies, still watching me closely.
I nod with a grin. “But if you don’t want it…” I reach for it teasingly.
She quickly snatches her hand away. “I never said I didn’t want it. I just meant, are you sure?”
“Yes.” And I mean it. I’ve never been more certain of anything before in my life.
This is a big step in our relationship, but it’s one I’m taking without any doubts. Giving her the key to my home seems so natural, considering she already holds the key to my heart.
“Thank you.” She looks up at me, her smile filled with nothing but delight.
“Welcome home,” I whisper, kissing the tip of her nose. Wishing I could stay, I sigh and gently kiss her lips. “I’ll give you a call once I’m done.”
“Okay.”
“Have fun. Don’t let Hunter corrupt you while I’m gone.”
She smirks. “I’m sure he’ll be too busy trying to corrupt Lamb.”
I turn over my shoulder to look at Hunter, who clutches his heart. “Lamb? It’s meant to be. Hunter and the lamb.”
“Yeah, but in this circumstance, you’re the lamb.”
Madison laughs while Hunter shrugs. “I’m okay with that.”
The mood has lightened, which makes leaving a little easier. “On that note, I better get going. I’ll see you later.”
“Hurry back. I miss you already,” Madison whispers, crushing my resolve.
God only knows I don’t want to go, but with no other choice, I kiss her lips briefly. I nibble on her bottom lip before pulling away. She whimpers low, her eyes slowly opening. “I’ll see you soon,” I affirm, kissing her forehead, not wanting to let her go. But I have to.
“Okay. Bye.”
Saying goodbye shouldn’t be this hard, but it is. And that’s because a small part of me knows that what I’m doing is wrong. I can make all the excuses I want, but I’m leaving Madison to go see Juliet. Go see Juliet to do only God knows what.
Pushing aside my guilt, I grow a pair and turn around to face Hunter. “Look after my girl.” He nods, understanding the double meaning.
I walk out the door, unsure of what I’m walking into.
16
True Identity
DIXON
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
My short, sharp knocks reflect my mood.
“Why, hello.” Juliet smiles as she opens the door. I don’t even bother replying and stroll past her, my hands dug deep in my pockets.
When the door closes behind me, I put on my game face and swallow down my disgust at being here. “So, I’ve chosen. What do you want?”
I keep my back turned because the sheer slip she’s wearing answers the question for me. “Well, I’m home alone. I’d hate to waste this opportunity.”
I close my eyes in distaste when I feel her fingernail run down the side of my neck. “Indeed,” I reply when I trust my voice not to betray my abhorrence.
“I’ve missed this between us, Dixon. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said about Dylan. It’s true. Things are not what I thought they would be. He used to fuck me with such vigor, and now he can barely get it up. He’s not a real man like you are.” She presses into my back as she slides her hand to my front.
I remain still, keeping my breathing under control. As she glides her fingers lower and lower, I feel my humanity evaporating with every touch. And when she reaches my crotch and begins massaging, my brain and body become two separate entities. But this is exactly what I had hoped for. Groping aside, I wanted to break down her person, chip away her confidence until she was mine to control.
I haven’t figured out what I’ll do o
nce I’ve achieved total domination because, honestly, I wasn’t sure if it would work. But it has. She’s played into my palms—but sadly, her palms are the ones doing the playing.
My dick has absolutely no interest in coming out to play and my apathy gives me an idea. Stilling her hand with mine, I draw it away from me. Turning around with an unhurried, calculated speed, I stop to face her.
She licks her lips nervously, watching and anticipating my every move. I take one step toward her, and then another. A raspy breath hitches in her throat when I gather up the hem of her slip. I make my intentions clear when I place her fingers over her pussy.
With our eyes still locked, I command, “Touch yourself.”
“Here?” she questions, raising a brow. “Wouldn’t you rather we take it into the bedroom?”
“No. Right here will do.” I remove my hand from hers and take a step backward, thankful for the breathing space.
She looks at me while I return her gaze, refusing to look anywhere past her neck. “Take a seat,” she purrs, pushing me backward. “And enjoy the show.”
Slumping down into the armchair, I lounge back and steeple my fingers in front of my mouth in hopes of hiding my scowl. Juliet doesn’t seem to notice my disgust as she grins and slips a hand back underneath her gown. I swallow hard and hope my plan works.
She begins rubbing over her cunt, moaning lightly while I force myself to look. She’s not totally exposed, as the slip gives her a shred of coverage, but the small glimpse I’m getting is more than enough. Her wetness glistens and when she begins rubbing over her clit with two fingers, I see her flushed skin come alive. I, on the other hand, feel utterly lifeless.
Her pert nipples push through the thin material and she cups one breast while speeding up the dance of her fingers. “Oh, God,” she pants, her eyes slipping shut as she throws back her head.
There is completely zero movement within my pants, and if possible, the act in front of me has my cock retreating, not at all interested in seeing the depraved show. I feel appalling, sitting here, watching this, but I knew things would have to get a little dirty if I wanted to be rid of Juliet for good.
The old me would have had my pants around my ankles and dick in hand by now. But that person is somebody I used to know. The new me, the real me, finds this display sickening and needs to get the hell outta Dodge.
