by Monica James
“How?” she scoffs, not believing a word.
“You remember that little waiver you signed?” Her face drops at the mere mention of it. “Well, it was an NDA. If you weren’t so busy thinking with your pussy, you’d know that if you say a word to anyone about what transpired between us, I’ll be the one ruining you. We both know you’re the breadwinner in your family. Do you think Dylan will really stick around if you’re a broke, expectant mother of a bastard child who isn’t even his?” Raising a smug eyebrow, I watch as she processes everything I just said.
“You’re lying,” she gasps.
“No, I can assure you I’m not. I’ll have my attorney email you a copy if you like.”
She shakes her head, smiling in disbelief. “You asshole.”
“I’ve learned from the best.”
“I’ll tell Maddy,” she threatens.
But I call her bluff. “If you were going to tell her, you would have done so by now.” Clenching my jaw, I decide to inform her that I know everything. Her ruse is up. “I know why you hate her, Juliet. I know what you saw. You won’t tell her because you know if you do, Maddy will tell your dad everything. He’ll find out what a fucked-up little bitch his daughter really is.”
I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner. By telling Maddy my sins, Juliet now knows she will also inadvertently blow the lid on a few sins of her own. Once it’s out, it’s out, and Juliet knows Madison will tell Rachel and Sebastian everything.
Leaning forward, I glare at her, not bothering to conceal my pure hatred for her. “You make me sick. You are pathetic. You use what’s between your legs to get what you want, but let me tell you, I’ve had better.”
Tears sting her eyes. “Fine.” She snatches her phone off the table, her fingers trembling as she dials. I match her stare as I lounge back in my seat. It goes straight to Maddy’s voicemail. The moment I hear her sweet voice, I know what I have to do.
Juliet scowls at me. “Hi, Madison, it’s Juliet. We need to talk. Call me as soon as you get this.” She ends the call furiously. “I’ll tell her this time. I swear it.”
No, she won’t. By doing that, she’s implicating herself. But I play along. “Good. You’ll do me a favor.”
“You mean it?” she says, reading my resolve.
I nod. “I’m done playing this game.” And this time, I actually mean it. I can’t lie to Maddy a second longer. I’ll tell her tonight.
I thought lying to Maddy and playing this game with Juliet was the easy way out. But it wasn’t. Telling Maddy the truth from the very beginning would have been the easy and honest thing to do. Instead, I let my arrogance lead me to a decision I’ll never be able to take back.
Juliet suddenly bursts into tears as she realizes she’s lost for good this time. “I know you have feelings for me,” she pathetically claims, sobbing.
Her sniffles move me in no way, shape or form. “No, I really don’t,” I candidly reply.
“Dixon—” Before I can fend her off, she swoops forward and kisses me. Her mouth is like a damn vacuum cleaner and I grip her biceps firmly to pry her away.
“Get off of me!” My first instinct is to shove her away, but I can’t. As much as I hate that she’s pregnant, I won’t hurt an innocent child.
“You’re serious?” she says as she stumbles backwards.
“Yes. Very.” I wipe my mouth vigorously with the back of my hand. But no matter how hard I scrub, I can’t erase the whore off of me.
“You tricked me. And like an idiot, I fell for your lies. You psychologically brain-fucked me. You’re a cruel man, Dr. Mathews.” She clutches her arms around her belly, her eyes filling with tears.
But her tears will never measure up to the ones Madison has shed thanks to Juliet’s maliciousness. “Anyone will believe anything they want to hear,” I counter with a shrug. “Manipulating you was easy because you’re weak and shallow.”
Her lower lip trembles. “Meet me tonight.”
I pull back, disgusted. “Whatever for?”
She sniffs. “I want you to give up all rights to this baby.”
I can’t believe my ears. “You don’t even know if it’s mine.”
Her cold eyes focus on mine as she explains. “Either way, I want you to have nothing to do with it. You’ve got your NDA. Now I want mine.”
It takes me a millisecond to realize why she’s doing this. “You don’t want Dylan to know that that baby might not be his, do you?”
She lowers her eyes, confirming my theory.
“Juliet, I feel sorry for you. How can you love a monster?” I ask, genuinely interested, as I’m unable to understand her love and loyalty to him.
She looks up sadly. “I loved you, didn’t I?”
I clear my throat, not expecting that reply. “You created this monster.”
She snickers. “Maybe you’re the one who needs to see a doctor. We both know you’re addicted to sin just as much as I am.”
I ignore her lies. “What time tonight?”
“I don’t know. Let me organize everything and I’ll text you. Because I’m not cruel like you, I’ll let you tell Maddy the truth. It’s going to hurt her and you a lot more if you tell her than if I do. But if you don’t tell her by tonight, then I will.”
Her blackmailing won’t stick. I’m done. “Get out of my office,” I snarl, my nostrils flaring.
“I’m serious.”
“So…am…” I stand, bracing my palms on the desk, my exasperated breaths coming out in loud, labored exhalations. “I,” I conclude, leaning forward and fastening her with my anger.
She knows she has five seconds to leave of her own accord, before I act on instinct and throw her out. “Goodbye, Dr. Mathews. I’d say it was a pleasure, but that’s a complete lie.” She adjusts the strap on her bag, standing tall.
“Good day, Ms. Harte.” I too stand tall, folding my arms across my chest. She has three seconds left.
Two…and…
“Oh, and go fuck yourself,” I add as she yanks open the door. She glares at me over her shoulder before storming from the room.
“Get out of my way, you old hag!” Juliet yells. Susanna has no doubt been standing guard. As she stomps off, I can’t help but smirk as her frenzied footsteps reflect her rage.
Susanna ducks her head around the door a second later. “Is everything all right, Dr. Mathews?”
“It is now, Ms. Vale.”
She walks into the room, appearing mortified. “I am so sorry. She just barged right past me. I tried to stop her.”
I place my hands on her upper arms softly. “It’s fine. I know how assertive Ms. Harte can be. But if that ever happens again, you have my permission to call security.”
She tilts her head in doubt. “Surely she won’t be back after such a display?”
Sighing, I reply, “I wouldn’t be so sure.”
* * *
“Madison, this is message number seven. I hope you’re okay. Anyhow, I’ll be a little late tonight. I have something I have to take care of. You go ahead and order wherever you like for dinner, and I’ll eat when I get home. I love you.” I end the call, frustrated that Maddy has been MIA all day.
I know she said she’d be inaccessible, but I can’t help thinking the worst.
Looking at the text message Juliet sent me earlier, I can’t believe she’s chosen to meet at the worst possible motel in Queens, of all places. But I suppose she wants to be as inconspicuous as possible seeing as our dealings are rather shady after all.
Turning off my computer, I slip into my jacket and grab my leather briefcase. Looking around my office, I know that when I return tomorrow, I’ll be a different man. I’ll most likely be a broken one because once I sign those papers I’ll tell Madison the truth. I’ll tell her all of it, just like I should have from the very beginning.
As I lock my office door, I’m surprised to see Susanna is still sitting at her desk. “Ms. Vale? Why are you still here? You should have left hours ago.” I look down a
t my watch and see that it’s now 7:45 p.m.
When I notice her handbag is perched in her lap, I query, “Is everything all right? Did something happen to Leroy?”
She shakes her head and looks up with a smile. “No, he’s fine.”
“Then what is it?”
“I just wanted to make sure you went home at a reasonable hour.”
“And?”
Her fingers grip the top of her bag. “And I wanted to make sure that woman didn’t come back.”
I am absolutely touched that my sixty-two-year-old assistant wants to be my bodyguard. “When I said I give you permission to call security, I didn’t mean you had to take on the role personally.”
She muffles a laugh behind her hand.
“Is Leroy picking you up?”
She stands and turns off her computer. “No. I’m taking the subway.”
“Don’t be silly. I’ll drive you home.” I pull out my car keys from my jacket pocket.
“Oh, I don’t want to put you out,” she says, slipping into her coat.
“Nonsense. It’s the least I can do for my head of security.”
She smiles. “Thank you, Dr. Mathews.”
We make our way into the elevator and ride it downstairs to the parking garage. Once we’re buckled up in my BMW and I zip into traffic, I notice she shuffles in her seat and sighs.
I look over and ask, “What’s the matter?”
My question seems to jolt her from whatever is plaguing her thoughts. “The matter?”
“Yes. I’ve known you long enough to know that something is wrong.” I steal a quick glance her way. “And besides, it’s my job to know these things.”
She clears her throat a few moments later. “Excuse me for being so blunt, but what did that woman want?”
I can’t believe she’s still thinking about Juliet. Looks like she made quite the impression—the wrong impression, but an impression nonetheless. “She’s an old patient,” I explain.
“Yes, I know that. But why is she still wishing to speak to you?”
I could tell her to mind her own business, but I decide to try honesty on for size. “Ms. Harte is an old patient of mine. She’s also my ex…lover.”
I peer out of the corner of my eye, waiting for shock, disgust, horror, but all I get is, “You still haven’t answered my question.”
My mouth drops open.
“Don’t look so surprised, Dr. Mathews. There were many times the radio was turned up high whenever that tramp was in your office.”
My mouth drops open even further. “Ms. Vale!”
She suddenly appears guilty and nervously tugs at her pearls. “Forgive me, I’ve said too much.”
I shake my head, unable to pry the smile from my face. “On the contrary. I was going to say that comment was worth a pay raise.”
She laughs. “So what did she want?”
I sigh, gripping the steering wheel tight. “She wants to make my life hell, Ms. Vale. She has from the moment I met her.”
“Why don’t you tell her to hit the road?”
“Because I am a damn fool.”
“Well, it’s not too late,” she encourages.
“I hope not. This all ends tonight. I just hope Madison can find it in her heart to forgive me,” I reveal, wishing it didn’t have to come to this.
“What has Madison got to do with this?”
My confession is bound to give Susanna a heart attack. “Ms. Harte is Madison’s stepsister.”
She shakes her head, frowning. “Oh, dear. And the child? Is it yours?”
Nothing passes her by. “Quite possibly.”
She shuffles in her seat. “This is quite the predicament you find yourself in.”
I snort. “Tell me about it. Any advice before I sign my own death warrant?”
“If I’ve learned anything in my forty-one years of marriage, it’s to just be honest.”
And there’s that word again. “Where were you six weeks ago?”
“If anyone deserves a second chance it’s you, Dixon,” she kindly says, but she’s wrong.
“Maybe you could talk to Madison on my behalf?” I tease, ignoring the ping of emotion I feel for her constant loyalty toward me.
“No one can do that but you.”
We’re silent for a few moments, the sounds of New York our background noise. “If you were her, would you forgive me?”
She turns and looks at me closely. “Love makes you do stupid things.”
I nod, taking what she’s just said on board. But I can’t figure out if she’s calling me stupid or not. We ride the rest of the way in silence.
When I pull up to her modest brownstone home in Brooklyn, I ask, “Would you like me to walk you in?”
She unbuckles her seatbelt with a mischievous smile. “I wouldn’t want the neighbors to talk.”
I smirk at her spunk.
“See you tomorrow, Dr. Mathews.”
“Yes you will, Ms. Vale.” She waves me goodnight and closes the door behind her.
I idle by the sidewalk, procrastinating as long as I can. I don’t want to do this, but it’s the end of the line. Blowing out a frustrated breath of air, I know it’s time to face the music.
The drive to Queens should take roughly forty minutes. It takes me over an hour. However, it’s not that I’m nervous about facing Juliet, more that I’m putting off going home to see Madison. I’ve used this drive to figure out what I’ll tell her, but nothing can prepare me for such a talk. It’s all or nothing. I’m ready to give her my all.
Pulling up at the dump motel, I get out of the car and set the alarm. I’ll be very surprised if it’ll still be here when I return. I pass a guy on the corner who not so inconspicuously asks if I want a blowjob for fifteen bucks. I thank him for his kind offer, but grab my nuts as I pass him to find room 205.
The empty swimming pool is now home to an assortment of unwanted furniture and a family of raccoons. This place should have been closed down months ago, but as I look around and see most of the lights are on in the rooms, I can’t help but wonder if they’re here by choice, or if most are conducting unpleasant business just like me.
Room 205 is up a flight of stairs which is missing half its railing. I manage to get up them without breaking a leg. The walk down the passageway is akin to a death march, but I block out the wails of screaming babies, drunken fights, and impassioned moans and focus on the issue at hand—getting Juliet out of my life for good. Once this is done, I’ll be free.
When I get to the room, I see the faded maroon door is slightly ajar. This is so incredibly dangerous, considering where we are. I quickly enter and shut the door behind me. There’s a dim light streaming out from under the bathroom doorway.
“Juliet?” I call out. “I’m here.”
I scan my surroundings in disgust. The ghastly floral bedspread, the vomit-colored carpet, and the stained yellow walls confirm that this place is just as ugly on the inside as it is on the outside—a bit like Juliet.
I really wish she would hurry the hell up. I feel like I’m catching a disease just by breathing in the sordid air. “Juliet!” I bark, taking a step toward the bathroom door.
But as the door slowly opens, nothing could ever prepare me for what I’m about to see.
“How could you?” gasps the girl, whose heart I’ve just shattered into smithereens.
“I can explain.” But I can’t. There is no explanation worthy enough to excuse why I’m here.
“Well?” The single, slow-falling tear which traces a path down her porcelain cheek highlights what a true bastard I really am.
“I-I…” Fuck! What am I even trying to say? Where do I start? When was the exact moment this all turned to shit?
“Just like I thought.” She spins on her heel and scampers toward the door.
“Madison, wait! Please hear me out.”
“Why, Dixon? To hear more of your lies!”
“Maddy, please,” I plead, reaching out and latching onto her arm li
ke the desperate man that I am.
“No!” she shrieks, recoiling, my touch appearing to repulse her.
“Don’t do this. Please don’t do this.”
My feeble voice betrays my fear. But I don’t care. The only good, decent thing in my life is about to walk out that door, and I wouldn’t blame her if she never came back. I’ll grovel, beg at her feet if I need to, but a small part of me knows it was bound to come to this.
“Don’t do what?” she cries, her fingers unsteady as she brushes back her long hair.
I deserve this.
I’m a man-whore.
And I’m a coward.
I don’t deserve this beautiful angelo’s love. I never did. But I wanted it so badly I thought consequences be damned. But now, now I’ve gone and fucked it all up.
“I’m sorry. It’s not what you think.” But it is.
I was meeting up in this fleabag motel to conspire with her sister—a sister who truly represents sin.
“I hope it’s not what I think, because if it is, then I don’t know who you are.”
Words have never hurt more than those just spoken.
“I’m the same man I was this morning. I’m the same man who loves you more than life itself. That hasn’t changed. That’ll never change,” I press, stepping forward, needing to touch her. But she steps away, nothing but disgust in her eyes.
“Just tell me one thing…what are you doing here?”
I could lie. I mean, that’s all I’ve been doing. But when you can no longer distinguish between the lies you’ve told and the truth, it’s time to come clean.
My silence is cementing my guilt.
“Tell me this isn’t what I think it is, and I’ll forget I ever saw you here.”
Everything in this moment is heightened—the clock on the discolored wall sounds in time with my lashing heart, my heavy breathing is in sync with the wild wind thrashing about outside, but most of all the torrent of tears streaming down Madison’s cheeks are in concert with my drowning soul.
“Dixon?” Her lower lip trembles as she waits for me to remedy this situation.
Every inch of my body is telling me to lie, but I can’t. I do the only decent thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.
