by Ruby Rowe
“I didn’t wear it, Mads. It’s clean, and I can wash it afterward.”
“Mommy used to put little packs of tissues in my backpack for preschool, and she gave big boxes of them to my old teacher, Ms. Briggs.”
“OK, when I bring your book back, I’ll grab some Kleenex boxes for your class. Would Ms. Lockwood like that?”
Seeing my sweet girl finally grin and nod, I smile, too. I ease my grip on the steering wheel and think about her sexy teacher. Damn, she was attractive, but she’s off-limits.
Sailor’s Rebecca’s sister, so that would be weird. I think. It’s been … damn, ten years already. Surely, that’s enough time for it to be acceptable to sleep with Sailor, but then there’s the whole fact of knowing I played a role in the events leading up to Rebecca’s death.
I thought I’d made peace with that guilt, but meeting Sailor caused it to resurface. Even though Elliott has never moved on, I believed I had, but I’m realizing that’s not the case.
Sailor
Sensing someone’s presence at my desk, I flit my gaze up and stare at, um, a male’s package in tight jeans. Clearing my throat, I hurry and look higher. Jake Callister is staring down at me with a knowing smile.
“Good morning,” I say as I stand and straighten my cream blouse.
“Morning. I have a problem. After I finished reading with Maddie last night, I told her I’d put her book in her backpack, and I forgot to do it, so I’m running back home to get it. She’s anxious about it and angry with me.”
Glancing around the room, I see Maddie at the cubby station putting up her backpack.
“It’s fine. I understand these things happen, especially with a five-year-old during the first week of school.” I wave my hand toward him. “She can bring it back Monday.”
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “I told her I’d go get it, and I’m not breaking another promise.”
“Well, that’s sweet of you.” I look around my classroom to keep an eye on my students still arriving.
I’m also doing it to stop myself from admiring Jake’s striking features: his high cheekbones, faint dimples that add a boyish charm to his seductive smile and glass-bottle green eyes as bright and crystal-like as the ones I would find washed up on beaches as a child.
“OK, I’ll be back then.” He doesn’t move, so I feel forced to take another glimpse of him.
“We’ll be here,” I reply with a smile.
***
About forty-five minutes into class, an aide who helps and subs throughout the school, Annie, comes into my classroom. She’s pale, and her forehead is crowded with worry lines. I stop speaking as she walks over to me.
“I need to talk to you in the hall.”
“OK.” Turning to my students, I force a smile since I’m concerned over the news Annie’s about to give me. The twenty-three-year-old was always upbeat the last school year.
“Class, I have to speak to Ms. Cooper in the hallway, but I’ll be right back.”
“No, you won’t be,” Annie whispers as she tucks her long chestnut-brown hair behind her ear.
“What’s wrong?”
She looks at my students, who are paying close attention.
“Class, Ms. Lockwood has to leave, but I’ll be right back to teach you today. I have a fun activity planned for us.”
Gathering my purse from a drawer in my desk, I follow her into the hallway, and she grasps my arm. “Your friend Carrie has been trying to reach you on your cell phone. She finally called the office. She said your apartment complex is on fire. The whole building.”
As I cover my mouth, I begin to shake.
“No, that can’t be right.”
“I’m so sorry, Sailor.”
Tears flood my eyes. “But Carrie’s OK?”
“Yes, she got out. She said she’s waiting right outside a blockade.”
Nodding, I fight back the dam of tears about to break free.
“OK, I’ll go. Thank you. Um, my lesson plan is open on my desk. We’re working on colors this morning. Call me if you have questions.”
She squeezes my arm. “Go take care of yourself today. I can handle things here.”
Needing someone to hug, I pull her in for one before I hurry down the hall. My flats clack on the shiny floor, but I can’t be quiet right now. I run out the front door and wipe away the tears falling to my cheeks.
I spot Jake Callister strolling up the sidewalk, and talking to him again is not what I need right now. Upon seeing my tears, he furrows his brow, so I hold up a hand.
“I have an emergency, but there’s a sub in the class you can leave the book with.” I notice he’s also holding a three pack of Kleenex boxes shrink-wrapped together. He grasps my arm as I try to pass him.
“Wait, maybe I could help.”
“I doubt that. My apartment building is on fire.”
“Shit, is that the one on Clinton?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“I’m a detective. I heard it come across my radio in the car.” He looks me over, and I inhale a deep breath to stop my body from shaking. “Let me take you. You have no business driving.”
“Don’t you have to work?”
“Not today. Let me run the book inside so Maddie doesn’t get upset.” He pulls a set of keys from his front jeans pocket. “Here, it’s the silver GT-R in a visitor’s spot.”
Recalling what Carrie said about it being good for me to talk to Jake, I nod and take his keys. He’s right that I’m in no shape to drive, so I utter, “Thank you” and walk to his car. Once inside, I find a tissue in my purse and call Carrie.
“Hello,” she answers, sounding panicked.
“Carrie, are you OK?”
“Yes, minus being shaken up.”
“What happened?”
“That damn Ms. Barnes started a fire on her stove. I knew we should’ve told social services our concerns over her living alone. She’s too damn old and forgetful. At least a lot of the tenants in our building had already left for the day, so I’m praying everyone got out safely.
“I was about to leave, too, when the fire alarm sounded, so I hurried and grabbed a couple of things. Sailor, I got your penguin.” Covering my mouth, I weep.
“Your safety is most important to me, but I can’t thank you enough for grabbing it.”
“It’s all I could get of yours. I’m sorry. From the looks of the building, I think we lost everything.”
“I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost you.”
“I’m fine, really.”
“I’ll be there soon. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Jake
Getting inside my car, I find Sailor crying. Her dark hair is hiding her face, but it doesn’t hide her pain.
“I’m sorry about your apartment. Maybe at least your belongings will be salvageable.”
“My roommate, Carrie, said she thinks it’s a total loss.”
“Damn. Let’s get over there and see.”
“I don’t understand why you want to help me, but thank you.” She leans her head back and stares out the passenger window as we head to Clinton St. on the Lower East Side, not far from the private school where she teaches.
Turning some rock music on low, I don’t speak to her. I mean, there’s not a damn thing I could say to make this better. How much tragedy does the girl have to suffer in her lifetime?
We’re forced to park several blocks away from her building, and as we walk closer to it, I see the large crowd that has formed across and down the street from the fire.
Seventy-five to a hundred people are watching fireman hose down a building that now looks like a charred wood-burning stove, pumping out smoke above. Fuck, there’s nothing left.
We reach the crowd, and I watch as Sailor’s eyes search through the onlookers. I can decipher the residents from the nosy neighbors by their tears and agape mouths.
The victims’ fixed stares give it away,
too. Those are the people who watched the proof of their pasts go up in flames.
“Carrie!” Sailor yells before a young woman turns and runs toward us. The purse hanging over her shoulder falls down her arm as she carries a stuffed animal, a manila envelope and a rectangular box like one you’d store photos in.
As she and Sailor hug, the items her roommate is holding become squished between them. The way the two girls latch on to one another tells me they’re more than roommates.
Pulling free, Carrie holds out the stuffed animal, and I see it’s a penguin. Grasping a necklace that’s around its furry neck, Sailor clenches her eyes shut and gasps for breath.
“Only a friend like you would’ve thought to grab it. I can’t thank you enough.”
Of all the things in her apartment, that stuffed toy is what she wanted most? Her friend looks at me like she’s wondering why in the hell I’m invading their space and private moment, so I stick my hand out.
“Hi, I’m Jake, and I’m sorry about your apartment.” Coughing, Sailor wipes her eyes.
“Carrie, this is Jake. He’s an uncle to one of my students. He was at the school and offered to give me a ride here.”
“Nice to meet you, Jake. I’m Carrie.” She gives me an intrigued smile before looking back at Sailor. “I’m going to my parents’ home. Come with me even if only for the weekend.”
Sailor shakes her head. “I think I’m going to call my parents, too, and stay there. I can’t go to Boston. It’s too soon in the year for my little ones to be with a sub. They need to feel safe and have a routine.”
“You’re always thinking about everyone else, but I do believe going to your parents is a good idea.” Her eyes drift to mine, but only for a second, before she looks at her friend again. “I’m glad you took my advice last night.”
Biting her lip, Sailor glances at me. “Can you give us a few minutes alone?”
“Sure. I’ll go see if I can find out more about the fire.” I point toward the scene. I don’t need to talk to anyone to know the truth about her building, but it’s less awkward than standing a few feet away, trying not to eavesdrop or stare at Sailor.
Even with puffy eyes and a flushed face, she’s attractive. Her hair is unique, shiny and black like a crow’s. Her irises match, and never have I seen a pair so dark and mysterious.
I need to offer more help. Maybe that would rid me of the guilt I’ve felt since meeting her. Something I did caused Sailor to be responsible for Rebecca’s death, and this is my chance to right that wrong. I owe Sailor that much.
Sailor
“I’m impressed. You brought Jake here, and you’re talking about staying with your parents,” Carrie says with a grin.
“How are you this happy after losing everything you own?”
Pulling her purse up over her shoulder, she shrugs.
“I feel it’s a sign that I’m supposed to start a new chapter in my life.”
“Ah, a life in Hawaii.” I look down at the sidewalk.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t plan for this to happen so soon.”
“I know, and I see how now’s a good time for you to go.”
“I imagine I’ll be staying with my parents for at least a week or two if you change your mind and want to come.”
“I’m sure I can crash at my parents. If not, I’ll stay at a hotel until I find housing.”
“Do you want me to give you a ride to their building?”
“No. I think I’ll go back to school. My kids are probably stressed out since I up and left.”
“I think you’ll stress them out more if you go back today. No offense, but you’re looking rough.”
“Great. Just what I want to hear when the cute guy who brought me here is walking back toward us.” I wipe under my eyes, trying to remove my smeared mascara. “He probably wonders if I’m always a basket case.”
“I think you have a right to be sad today.”
“Hi,” I say to him as he strolls up. “Would you mind driving me back to the school? Carrie’s leaving for Boston to stay with her family.”
“Not at all. Carrie, I’m sorry again about your place and your belongings. It looks like it was a total loss.”
“Thank you, and I figured as much. I believe this was a sign to help me with a decision I’ve been trying to make. I would’ve preferred to keep my fine handbags and shoes while making that decision, but everything happens for a reason, right?”
“I don’t know about that, but I’ll go along with you for today.” He flashes her a smile, but this one doesn’t reach his eyes, which display a touch of sadness.
I give Carrie one last hug before I walk with Jake back to his car.
“A penguin, huh? Of all the things she could’ve grabbed for you, she thought that was the most important item?”
“It is the most important item.”
“Look, maybe it’s not my place to give advice, but I don’t think you should go back to work today.”
“That’s what Carrie said, too. I guess I could go to my parents’ home, but I still need my vehicle from the school.”
We’re quiet the rest of the way to his car. Once we’re inside, I set my penguin in my lap and pull my phone out of my purse to call my mom.
God, I can’t believe I’m doing this, but maybe the fire was a sign for me, too. I mean, it’s weird how it happened right after the talk Carrie and I had yesterday.
I don’t have to bring up the past with my parents. I could simply try to get comfortable around them first. Here goes…
“Sailor, is that you?” my mother asks after answering on the second ring. She sounds shocked by my call, and I never know if her surprised responses are sincere or to guilt me.
“Yes, Mom, it’s me.”
“How are you?”
“Not well. My apartment burned down this morning.”
“Oh, my god. Are you all right?”
“Yes, I wasn’t home at the time, and Carrie’s OK, too. I was wondering if you’d mind if I came to stay with you for a few days.”
“Oh, it figures you’d finally want to stay with us.”
“What does that mean?” I glance to Jake, worried he might’ve heard her irritated tone.
“Your father and I arrived in Paris yesterday. We’ll be in Europe for a month.”
“Oh, OK.”
“You’re welcome to stay at the penthouse, though. Ramona’s only coming over twice while we’re gone, so you’ll have to fend for yourself with meals and cleaning.”
“I’ve been doing that for years now, but since you’re away, I’ll probably go to a hotel. There’s no sense in staying in your enormous place alone.”
“Well, in case you change your mind, I’ll text you the code to the alarm system, and I’ll notify the doormen.”
“Thank you, Mom. Tell Dad hello for me.”
“I will, sweetheart, and you know, Sailor, this might be a perfect time for you to move back where you belong, on the Upper East Side. Think about it, and I love you, dear.”
I roll my eyes. “I love you, too.”
Ending the call, I lean my head back against the seat.
“I couldn’t help but hear the hotel part. You don’t have anyone else you can stay with?”
“No. I don’t have any close friends besides Carrie, and I have little to do with my family. My parents left for Europe for a month, but I don’t want to stay at their place alone.”
Jake rubs the back of his neck before he white-knuckles the steering wheel. I make note of the traffic, but it’s not too bad mid-morning, so I’m not sure what’s up with him.
“Come stay at my place for the weekend, and once you’ve got a clear head, you can decide what to do next. I have an extra bedroom. I do have a roommate, but he’s working until Sunday.”
Each time he glances over at me, I try to gauge from his expression if he’s serious.
“I have plenty of money for a hotel, but thank you for offering.”
“I didn’t assume money was
an issue, but from what you said about your parents’ home, and after seeing how you clung to your friend back there, I get the impression you don’t want to be alone.”
Turning my head away from him, I stare out the passenger window.
“I’m used to it.”
“There’s a difference between being used to it and wanting to be.”
“Did your detective skills make you this perceptive and persistent?”
“Probably. I will say you’re the first chick to ever call me perceptive. That was a compliment, considering how bad my ADD is.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you stop taking medication?”
“I didn’t like the way it made me feel in every other way. So, are you going to stay at my place?”
“I don’t know. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Nope. I have no plans unless someone bites the dust. I’m a homicide detective for the sixth precinct.”
“Interesting.”
“I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me to say. I guess I’m a bit desensitized from the job.”
“I imagine you’d have to detach so as not to lose your mind.”
“You nailed it. Look, I promise to give you space, but if that’s not what you want, I’ve been told I’m a lot of fun.”
“Um … OK.”
“Wait, no, I wasn’t talking about that kind of fun. I mean, I have been told I’m good at that, too, but it’s not what I meant. What I was trying to say is I’m good at lifting people’s spirits.
“I even have alcohol, Lucky Charms and a hot tub.” Glancing over, he gives me one of his boyish grins. “I’m that damn cool. Maddie thinks so, anyway.”
“Yes, I sense how fond she is of her Uncle Jake.”
“What do you say?”
“Today’s proving to be about change, so why not? What could a little more hurt?”
CHAPTER SIX
Sailor
Still believing I’m too upset to drive, Jake convinces me to leave my car at the school for the weekend. Going along with what he wants isn’t like me.
I have a routine I seldom break, and I trust very few people, but his kindness seems genuine. Maybe it’s his affection toward Maddie that’s blurring my judgment, but I want to believe that’s not the case.
