by Ruby Rowe
“I’ve apologized enough times for that mistake, and have you ever heard of free will? No one forced Sailor to get in your vehicle and drive that night, just like no one forced you to sleep with her.”
“You don’t know shit about the accident.”
He shakes his head. “You’ve said that before, and I don’t get it. What don’t I know?”
“I want you to leave.”
“Not until I’m sure your ass is headed back to the Village.”
“I’m considering it, and that’s why I’m here. I needed to be alone to decide if I could go back to the life I was living before Sailor was in it.”
“And…?”
“I don’t want to give her up, but she held our dead baby, one she claimed looked just like me. Is that who Sailor would see every day if she was staring back at me?
“The anguish that was written on her face the night we first saw each other in the condo … I get it now. She saw him when she came face to face with me.”
“I hate it for both of you. I do, and I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Your tragic past is why I believe I can give Sailor a happier future. Her grief over Rebecca and the baby will never go away, but with me, she won’t be reminded of it constantly.”
“Where are you going with this?”
“What I believe is for the best doesn’t matter. She told me she loves you, but she wants me, too, so I have a proposition for you. I think we should share her.”
“I thought that’s what we were already doing?”
“I mean indefinitely … possibly forever.”
I cock an eyebrow. “You’re nuts.”
“Sailor’s all I think about day and night. I believe she could be the one, but I’ll never find out as long as she’s wondering what could have been between the two of you.”
“What if I want to go back and fight for her?”
“Honestly, I think we could lose her if we give ultimatums like that. Sailor’s always in her head and hard on herself, so there’s a high probability she’ll leave us both if she can’t decide. The guilt over having to choose will destroy her.”
I shake my head. “You and I are good friends, but I don’t know if we’re capable of sharing a woman. And what happens in the future when it comes to marriage or having children? You haven’t thought this through.”
“The last few weeks have proven that circumstances can change and fast. All those decisions could work themselves out over time, but by making this arrangement now, it could take the pressure off Sailor.”
“I can’t believe I’m entertaining this idea.”
“I know it’s unconventional, and I don’t like it any more than you do, but I don’t want to lose Sailor, and I don’t believe you do, either. Just think about it.”
Sailor
“I’m nervous,” I say to Jake as we leave the condo to head to Thatcher’s party. He grabs my hand while keeping his eyes on the road.
“It’ll be fun. This one is casual with mainly Thatcher’s and Marybeth’s cousins and friends. The family party is not for two weeks.”
As Jake talks, I admire him. He looks hot tonight in charcoal grey chinos and a burgundy button-up shirt. I’ve hardly seen him out of jeans, so the change is sexy.
I was nervous when I arrived at the condo, wondering if Elliott would be there, too, but he wasn’t. When he told me he was giving me up, I didn’t argue with him.
My heart was so broken as I talked about our baby that I couldn’t imagine how we’d get past it, either. I needed him to go, but once he left, I knew I’d made a mistake by not asking him to give us time to think about it.
Like the other instances when I’ve been upset, Jake came to the rescue and comforted me. I let him back in, and we’ve grown closer this entire week because of it.
His phone goes off in his pocket, so he fishes it out and holds it up to his ear.
“Jake here… OK… Why are you going to her place first? Fine, sorry I asked… She’s in the car with me… You can tell her when you see her, bye.” Ending the call, he furrows his brow.
“That was Elliott, right? I heard his voice.”
“Yep.”
“Is everything OK?”
“He’s going to the party, which I wasn’t expecting. He just got home from work, but he’ll be late since he’s…”
“Since he’s what?” I’m prying, but it’s only because Jake asked why Elliott was going to her place, and I want to know who this her is.
“He’s going to Nicole’s, but I have no idea why.”
“Do you think he’s bringing her with him?”
Jake rubs the back of his neck. “I would hope he’s smarter than that, but no one self-sabotages better than Elliott. I wasn’t going to say anything, but he wants to talk to you tonight.”
“If he’s at the condo, I wonder if that means he’s going to start staying at home again.”
“I’m not sure.”
I look out the passenger window, growing angrier by the second. I can’t believe Elliott’s going to see Nicole. I imagine it’s to pick her up for the party or to tell her he’s ready for a commitment–maybe both.
He probably wants to break the news to me tonight, but he can save it for another day. I’m nervous enough already.
Jake squeezes my hand. “Are you all right?”
Taking a breath, I look back at him and smile.
“Other than being nervous about seeing old faces, I’m happy I get to spend the evening with you.”
“I promise to find you wine.”
“It’ll probably be champagne.”
“Right. How could I forget where we’re going?”
Elliott
“Hi, come in,” Nicole says after opening her door for me at her small place between Lexington and Third Ave.
“Hi.” Nicole’s in finance, and her family’s affluent like mine; although, they’re not quite as wealthy.
“You look nice,” she says as her gaze travels over me. “You always have looked best in blue.” Even though I know what the hell I’m wearing, I find myself looking down at my navy pants and V-neck light blue sweater.
“Thanks. You look great, too.” And she does in a short red dress that ties on the side. I recall how I’ve removed several dresses from her body in the past.
“I have to meet a friend in forty minutes, so what did you want to talk about?” she asks as I follow her into the living room. She sits on her sofa, so I take an empty chair and watch her smile fade. “I guess you’re not here to tell me how much you’ve missed me.”
“I have missed you, but no, that’s not why I came. I’m here to tell you that I’m not going to see you anymore. You shouldn’t have to hear it on the phone, or worse, a text.”
Sighing, she uncrosses her legs and tucks them up on the sofa beside her.
“You didn’t think about it long.”
“I’m in love with someone else.”
Looking at her hardwood floor, she drags her teeth over her bottom lip.
“Wow, that was quick. Or, were you seeing this person while we were dating?”
I exhale. “It’s the woman you met at the condo with Jake, the sister of my ex-girlfriend.”
“Oh, the one you said you weren’t sleeping with.” She doesn’t hesitate to look back at me and glower.
“I wasn’t lying about sleeping with her. That night was the first time I’d seen Sailor in ten years, but we do have a history I didn’t tell you about. We were young at the time, and it took seeing her again as an adult to realize I’ve never gotten over her.”
“How does Jake feel about this?” She raises her eyebrows.
“He’s not happy about it, and the situation is complicated. Some of my history with Sailor is too private to share.”
Nicole smiles at me, but the tears in her eyes give away her heartache.
“Well, I guess that’s it then. I mean, regardless of whether you get the girl, you found the one you want, and she’s not me.”
“Nicole, I’m sorry. I don’t want to give the cliché spiel about how it’s me not you, but it’s the absolute truth. You’re incredible, and I hope you don’t let another man string you along the way I did the last two years. I couldn’t understand what was holding me back from being in a relationship, but now I know Sailor was the reason.”
“You need to be absolutely sure, Elliott, because Jake is your friend, and he’s a good guy. I’d hate to see you lose a friendship over a girl if it wasn’t the real deal. Also, does she know you’re not much of a vanilla kind of guy?”
I grin. “Baby steps.”
Widening her eyes, Nicole shakes her head.
“No, not all women want to be tied up, blindfolded and gagged. She looked sweet and playful the evening we saw her with Jake, when he was carrying her on his back. Is she going to be into your dark play?”
“I don’t know, but sex doesn’t have to always be about kink with me. You and I had regular sex many times.”
“True.”
“I’ll be what she needs me to be. That is if I get the chance.”
“You already seem different. You’ve been more open with me tonight than you’ve ever been.”
“It’s because I’m finally dealing with my past.”
Nicole stands and straightens her dress.
“This sucks for me, but I’m happy for you, Elliott. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I hope you get the girl.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Sailor
“Sailor Lockwood,” Thatcher Davenport says before he lifts my hand and kisses the top of it. His golden-brown eyes tilt up at me, and there’s a sparkle of charm in them. Why did I agree to this? “I thought my cousin was full of shit when he told me he was bringing you. How have you been?”
“Um, good, thanks.” I take a quick glance at the crowd of people occupying his outdoor living space on E. 61st St. “Congratulations on your engagement.”
“Thank you.” He shrugs. “I never thought it could happen on the Upper East Side, but I found true love.”
“Aww, that’s sweet.”
Flashing me a sly grin, he finally releases my hand.
“You’re even prettier than your sister was.”
“Dude, I asked you not to bring up the past,” Jake says.
“Beauty like this needs to be mentioned.”
Taking hold of my waist from behind, Jake seems ready to direct me forward, away from Thatcher.
“This is your engagement party. Do you have no shame?”
“Hey, I’m only paying the beautiful woman a compliment. Don’t worry; Marybeth knows she owns me, both my heart and my balls. Where is she, by the way?” After glancing around a few seconds, he winks at me.
“Enjoy yourself tonight, Sailor. It’s nice to see you around again.” His smile fades as he gives me a sincere look, so I nod before Jake walks me farther out onto the patio.
A man in a white shirt and black vest is serving drinks as we approach the bar and wait behind another couple.
“Maybe that will be the worst of it,” Jake whispers in my ear.
“It’s fine. He was probably nervous, too, about what to say to me after all these years. I’ll consider that when others speak to me.” Still holding my waist, he pivots my body so that I’m facing him with my back to the bar.
“It’s working. My positive energy is rubbing off on you.”
“I guess so, and for that, you earned a kiss.” I lean up to press my lips against his. “I’ll give you a better one later.”
While Jake orders us drinks, I size up the impressive space surrounding us. It’s a lovely fall evening, the weather perfect for entertaining outside, and I can’t help but snicker, thinking Thatcher Davenport probably threw dollar bills toward the sky to buy a day of great weather.
He’s from old money so far back I can’t recall the industry that earned them the cash and honor of being one of the most affluent and influential families in the city.
A long, rectangular light oak table rests in the middle of the space. Lanterns are already lit as the sun sets, and they’re surrounded by people taking up every matching chair. A few of the guests I know, but I haven’t spotted many people I recognize yet.
Jake hands me my glass of bubbly, and after taking a sip, I discover it’s not sweet enough. I’m already spoiled by the delicious strawberry wine Elliott buys for me. Elliott… I miss him when I wish I didn’t.
At least, it seems as if life would be easier if I didn’t, but I do miss the exhilarating feeling that develops when he’s near, the way my heart wants to leap from my chest.
“Jake, hi,” a stunning woman says as she approaches us.
“Marybeth, hi.”
She flits her eyes between Jake and me a couple of times.
“Sailor, this is Thatcher’s fiancée, Marybeth. Marybeth, this is Sailor.”
After brushing her honey-blond hair back over her shoulder, she holds out her dainty hand for me to shake.
“Sailor, it’s so nice to meet you.”
“Your home is stunning.”
“Thank you. We only moved in a month ago, so it’s been a whirlwind having it decorated in such a short amount of time.”
“No one would know you were rushed. You have amazing taste.”
“I can’t take all the credit. Thatcher’s a closet designer, as in he keeps that bit of information in the closet.” She laughs. “Well, it won’t be if I keep telling people. He designed this entire outdoor space.
“Oh, my best friend just arrived. I need to greet her. You two have fun tonight.” After granting me a smile, she kisses Jake on the cheek and strolls away.
I admire the lace on the back of her green-apple cocktail dress that’s formal and modest rather than sexy.
I look down at my black dress, wondering if it’s too risqué for the party. With only one shoulder covered and the way it drapes and gathers in the front, it looks more like a Greek goddess’s gown, except this one is short.
My other shoulder is only hidden by several spaghetti straps spaced apart. I thought Jake would like it since he seemed proud that he would have me on his arm tonight. Suddenly more nervous, I swallow the rest of my champagne.
“I need another glass.”
Jake smirks. “I guess you can drink up since I won’t be giving you piggyback rides tonight.” Leaning in, he kisses my ear. “At least, not in this dress. I can’t have you giving others a show.”
“It’s too racy, isn’t it?”
“Baby, you look classy. The only problem I see is how the men already have their eyes on you. Why don’t you grab those two empty seats at the table while I get us drinks? I see Thatcher’s younger brother is over there, and I want to introduce you.”
“I don’t remember him having a brother.”
“It was a scandalous secret. His father strayed, and Thatcher found out he had a brother about five years ago. It took two more years before he didn’t hate the guy. I convinced him that it wasn’t the kid’s fault his father couldn’t keep his dick in the family. They’re close now.”
“So, we’re not the only ones with family drama.”
“If you had stayed in the know, you’d be shocked. I’m telling you, you’ve worried too much over the years about what people would think.”
“I guess so.”
I walk over to the table and take the second to last seat. The young man next to me turns his head and brandishes a sly grin.
“Damn, who are you, sweetheart?”
“Hi, I’m Sailor Lockwood.”
“I’m Harrison Davenport.” I notice he has the same light brown hair as Thatcher.
“Oh, are you Thatcher’s brother?”
“I am.”
“My date, Jake Callister, told me to come over so I could meet you.”
He frowns. “Figures. How did Jake land a date like you?”
“By being his kind, charming self.”
“Yeah, I guess he has always been a chick magnet,” he say
s while looking toward Jake at the bar. Unlike his brother’s golden-brown eyes, his are hazel. “Lockwood… Does your father run Lockwood Global?”
“Yes, that’s him.”
“How in the hell have we not met before?” He shifts his chair to face me, and I’d guess he’s about my age.
“I like to keep to myself.”
“And I’m trying to break Sailor of her hermit lifestyle,” Jake says as he sits next to me. “She’s too gorgeous, smart and interesting to be in hiding.”
“What do you do, Sailor?”
“I’m a kindergarten teacher.”
Harrison smirks before he takes a drink of something golden in his glass.
“A teacher? Wow, I didn’t expect that from the daughter of a technology mogul, but it’s pretty cool.”
“Thank you.” As he and Jake chat, my mind drifts back to Elliott, and I imagine what could happen if he shows up with Nicole. Maybe he feels a relationship with her is his shot at moving on, but it still hurts. Will they speak to me?
Frustration builds as I think about him running away from the past again, and that makes me realize I haven’t had enough alcohol to numb my emotions.
“I’m going to get another drink,” I say to Jake before I down my champagne and excuse myself from the table. Marybeth is at the bar when I approach it.
“Sailor, right?”
“Yes.”
“Would you like a tour of the rest of the house? We can talk about your family and Jake. I’ve never seen him happier.” She smiles coyly, and it feels like she’s preparing to gather dirt for the next text message to Gossip Girl.
“Sure.”
My days of change have turned into weeks, so why stop now? Everyone seems nice enough, and it’s not like I have to share my juiciest secrets.
Jake
“Man, how in the hell did you snag Sailor?” Harrison asks.
“She teaches my niece, so I met her at the school.”
“I can’t believe she’s running with a guy from the Village.”
“Shut up, asshole. She’s down-to-earth. You’d be surprised.”
