by Ruby Rowe
“I’ll be back often. I’m even leaving some of my things here for when I stay over.”
“I can’t believe you’re going to fight traffic again this time of day.” Jake clutches my shoulders after I close the back passenger door. “You could wait until the weekend.”
“Your pouty expressions are endearing and hard not to give in to, but I’ve already put this off too long. You can’t tell me you want to go to bed at night knowing I’m in Elliott’s room, just like I’m sure he hasn’t appreciated the nights he’s gone to sleep knowing I was downstairs in your bed.”
Huffing out a breath, he looks to the sky.
“You’re right.”
“I’ll stay over some when he’s gone, and you can visit me at the hotel while Brad’s working on finding me a more permanent place in the Village.”
He grins. “You’re going to move that close?”
“If I can find something I like.”
“I’ll see to it that Brad makes it happen. He owes me.”
“You’re cute, and have I told you today how happy you make me?”
“No, but feel free to tell me how amazing I am. It gives my ego a workout, buffs it up a bit.”
Sliding a hand around his neck, I press my body against his and let my lips follow suit to touch his sizzling mouth. He envelops me in his arms, and as the fall breeze kisses our skin, too, I can’t help but feel torn about leaving.
I’m conflicted. In Jake’s arms, or simply in his presence, I feel content and safe. He’s attentive and sexy. With Elliott, the sense of the unknown and the depth of attraction is thrilling. I also know beneath his rough, brooding exterior, he’s loving.
Letting my lips go, Jake clasps my chin.
“What’s wrong? You’re supposed to smile after I kiss you.”
“I’m sorry. I’m frustrated over this situation and feel guilty. You’ve treated me nothing short of amazing from the first day I met you, and it’s not fair you’re having to share me.”
“You’re worth it, and I know you didn’t plan this. It would be different if you met Elliott after me and wanted to date us both, but you already cared about him.
“I don’t see how we could’ve prevented this situation, and honestly, I feel lucky you’re giving me a chance since you hadn’t known me long when you saw him again.”
I hug him. “I hope you won’t give up on me.”
“Not a chance, doll.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
Sailor
I take a deep breath before I open the door of my penthouse loft at The Mercer Hotel on the Lower East Side.
“Hi, come in.”
Elliott steals a glance at my body. I’m wearing a silky cream pajama tank and matching pants that are outlined with black lace. He smiles with approval before he holds up a bouquet of red roses.
“I thought you might want something to brighten up the place.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.” He follows me to the kitchen, and I find a glass to put them in. Once I face him again, I clasp my hands in front of me and notice his hair is damp.
“Did you just shower?”
“Yeah, at the hospital.”
“I thought you never went home at night on the days you work.”
“That was before there was a reason to leave. You’re a damn good reason.” He stalks toward me, and my nerves become heightened, the danger alarms sounding in my head.
“Aren’t you tired? I know I am from working and moving my shit here. The weekend was hectic, too.”
He doesn’t stop coming at me until he’s right at my toes and holding my head, leaving me no choice but to stare up at him.
“I know what you’re doing, and I keep wondering when you’re going to see it, too.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re stalling the inevitable between us, and I think you’re doing it because you’re worried that once you feel me inside of you, there’ll be no going back. You won’t be able to doubt us. The wall you’ve been hiding behind to protect your heart will vanish.”
“Exactly, and how do I know you won’t break it once it’s vulnerable?”
“Because your heart has been my anchor.”
Feeling that very heart in my throat, I swallow.
“What?”
“I never got to tell you the other reason I gave you the necklace. It was to symbolize that I was anchored to you. The night Rebecca died wasn’t the first time I’d done stupid shit like drinking and driving.
“I vowed on your birthday, while putting the necklace around your neck, that I’d never drink and drive again, and I would think of you like an anchor, one that would keep me in check.
“I’d remember what you sacrificed for me when you took the blame for the accident, and I’d become the best damn doctor I could be. I’d save lives and not stray off course.”
“Really?” I whisper.
“Yes. I knew if I imagined you wearing it, I could survive anything. I wouldn’t give up or throw my future away.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Say that you believe I never wanted to leave you behind.”
“I believe you.”
“Now, if you can tell me that you don’t want to date me”–he slides his fingers into the back of my hair and grips it–“and that you don’t imagine me touching and kissing every inch of your body before I fuck it”–he stares down at me with stormy eyes, his intentions roiling in his grey irises–“then I’ll walk out that door.
“But aside from that one lie you told years ago, you’re as honest as they come, so tell me what I already know, what you feel between those sexy legs.”
With his free hand, he covers my thudding heart and clutches my hair even tighter. “Say it, Sailor Girl. Tell me you want me right now.”
“I do. I want you.”
Slamming his lips to mine, he kisses me rough and deep while keeping a firm hold on my hair. I moan, and as if he can’t be inside me fast enough, he grabs my ass and hoists me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and let him carry me to the bedroom.
After laying me on the king-size bed, he strips off his jeans and sweatshirt, and as I watch him get naked, I’m reminded of his long, thick cock. It’s in proportion with his towering height and, um, big feet that are exposed now like the rest of him.
Pulling my silky tank over my head, he tosses it to the floor and plunges his tongue inside my mouth. We share another spine-tingling kiss before he trails his lips down my throat and chest to my hardened pink nipples.
God, I’ve wanted this for so long, and it’s surreal that it’s finally happening.
He swirls his tongue around the stiff bud, and I grab hold of his blond hair and arch against his mouth. He sucks on my nipple forcefully, the sounds erotic, and I cry out when he bites down and pulls it between his teeth.
He’s not gentle with my body, but he’s not so rough I can’t handle it. Palming my other breast, he squeezes it and incites louder moans with each tug of my nipple.
“Yes, moan, baby.” Lifting his head, he pins me with an intense look. “When I leave here, you’re going to dream about me fucking you.”
He skims his open mouth up my chest to my throat and my ear. “Waking up with your pussy aching, you’ll be wishing I was between your legs again,” he whispers.
“Elliott.” It’s as if I need him to pop the cork on my bottled-up desire. Years of longing and fantasies are finally being set free, and I’m not fighting it or afraid.
I’m enthralled and curious, and as he kisses his way down my stomach, I flinch and grapple for breath. He’s going to set my body on fire. I’m sure of it.
Stepping off the bed, he grabs hold of my pajama pants and thong and pulls them off my legs.
“Get on all fours facing the headboard,” he commands. I stare at him, wondering if he’s going to fuck me like he watched Jake do.
I roll over and get up on all fours, and feeling his hands clamp around my thighs, I gasp. He’s underneath me on his back, his mouth
right beneath my crotch.
“I want your pussy on my face, Sailor. Tomorrow, you’ll be remembering your arms and legs shaking around me as I made you come.” Pulling on my thighs, he lowers me, so I bend my arms, giving him what he wants.
He blows his breath on me first, and it’s as if he’s fanning the fire so it’ll only grow stronger. The second he sucks the hood of my clit between his lips, I raise up, the sensation unexpected.
He yanks me back down and licks me repeatedly. His evening stubble rubs against my inner thighs, and my arms are already shaking.
I close my eyes, savoring all the pleasure he’s delivering. I’m grounded to the moment as he licks and sucks. Moans sail from my lips as ecstasy drives my body closer to its release.
“Fucking Christ, those sounds, baby.”
Like he knows I’m close, he backs off with the pressure and faintly flicks at my clit, finding that one spot that will cause me to lose all control, and it works in no time.
My eyes are blinded from the light behind them, the shower of colors a show to accompany the onslaught of pleasure, the explosion like no other.
My arms want to give way, and the second I feel him move out from under me, I collapse on my stomach. While basking in the warm sensations blanketing me, I think I hear him getting a condom. He better freaking wear a condom.
“Roll onto your back.” I find the energy to do what he says, and he stalks on all fours over my body. “There’s so much I plan to do to you, but since it feels like our first time again, I’ll go easy. I want to watch your face as I make you orgasm.”
Resting on his forearms, he wedges himself between my legs and thrusts into me. I feel the stretch from the girth of his cock, the notable fullness from his length, too, and looking up, I find him staring down at me.
He slows his thrusts, and as his fingers gently play in my hair, he rocks into me.
We reconnect.
We remember.
We love again.
“You’re radiant, your scarlet cheeks against your raven hair, and right now, you’re all mine.” He picks up speed again, and I lift my legs to wrap them around his hips.
He manages to bury his cock deeper, groaning in the process, and it’s not long before we’re coming together. My heels dig against his firm ass as he flings his head back, the pleasure owning him, and right now … he’s mine.
Elliott was also right. The wall I’d built is gone, and after what he said about the necklace, I trust him. I’ve been holding back, but it’s not only because of the reasons he said.
It’s because I feared I’d see a future with two men, and now I do. I don’t want to give up either of them.
Elliott
Sailor skims her fingers over my chest, and I close my eyes, feeling at peace, and it’s the first time I’ve felt this calm in my life.
I listen to our breathing, smooth and in sync, and it reminds me of the ocean, the waves slowing ebbing and flowing against the shore. I remember Sailor’s laugh from when she was young, her radiant smile and warmth.
My home was volatile, Rebecca was usually a bitch with unreasonable expectations, and our friends were snobby and judgmental. Sailor was kind and pure. It was as if the Lockwoods had brought the wrong baby home from the hospital.
God, I loved spending time with her before I should’ve, but it wasn’t in a lustful way. Sailor was the light in a universe of darkness, so when she was being taken away from me after the accident, I had to be sure she’d never forget me. I wasn’t trying to be selfish.
“How did you find it in your heart to forgive Jake for what he did with Rebecca?” she asks. I tense, and my peaceful state disappears.
“I don’t want to ruin tonight with the past.”
She props herself up on her elbow. “I really want to know. It’s a huge deal that you could be his friend after what happened the night of the accident. I feel like it will help me understand you better.”
“But it doesn’t make me appear better.”
“Please. I know Jake would tell me if I asked, but I want to hear it from you.”
I stare at the ceiling. “All right. The day after Rebecca died, my father beat me worse than he ever had. He beat me like a man would another in a bar fight. It’s why I looked like I did the day of the funeral.
“Then, the day before he died, he tried to get me to come back around. I’d shut him out for several years, and I wasn’t budging. Since I refused, he abused me the only way he could–verbally.
“He told me I killed Rebecca and was a disgrace to our family. He said I wasn’t a man since I let you take the fall, even though I knew he was grateful you did. He said every vile thing he could think of to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit.
“After I got the call he died, I snapped. I needed someone to hurt. I needed a way to unleash all the anger I couldn’t unleash on my father. I felt guilty about the last conversation I’d had with him, and that only made me angrier.”
I exhale a lengthy breath, the shame resurfacing.
“I knew how to get hold of Thatcher, so I found out where Jake spent time. I hunted him down and picked a fight with him at a bar he hung out in with other cops.
“We went outside, and I attacked him. He was caught off-guard, and I was blind with fury, so this time was much worse than the beating I gave him the night I caught him with Rebecca.
It lasted only seconds before people pulled me off him, but he took several blows to the head and had a severe concussion. It was bad.”
I take another long breath as I imagine Sailor judging me, doubting me all over again.
“Long story short, I was hauled off to jail, my future as a physician was over, and I’d hit rock-bottom, having acted just like my father. The past wasn’t letting me run from it any longer.”
Wrapping her arm around my waist, Sailor hugs me, and I’m surprised she wants to comfort me. “I got out on bond, and Jake came to see me once he healed up some. We talked, and he said he’d always felt partly to blame for Rebecca’s death.
“I guess he needed to clear his conscience over it, so he forgave me, dropped the charges, and with his law enforcement connections, he found a way to erase the entire incident.
“It’s weird. We were the last people who should become friends, but after he did that for me, I felt I owed him, so I offered him a place to live. I was hardly ever home, and he never could’ve afforded a condo as nice as mine.
“Jake didn’t deserve what I did to him outside that bar, so I guess I’ll always feel indebted. It’s another reason I thought I should leave you, and let you be with him.
“When he confronted us about the baby, asking me how I could do that to you, I heard my father’s voice all over again, reminding me of what a failure I was. I thought you belonged with someone better.”
Moving her body over mine, Sailor kisses me and glides her fingers through my hair. I don’t feel worthy of touching her, but after several seconds, I can’t resist wrapping my arms around her soft, bare skin.
“You’re not a bad person. You’re human, and after what you’d gone through in life, it’s no wonder you couldn’t keep that anger bottled up.
“Jake was partly responsible for the events leading up to Rebecca’s death, so I can see why you blamed him. I don’t think less of you now that I know. If anything, I love you more for being able to open up to me.”
I shake my head. “I’m amazed by the way I can talk to you. I’ve never been like that with women, or anyone really, but you’re not anyone.”
“No, I’m someone who knows the real you, the caring Elliott.” As she smiles, I move hair off her face so I can have a better look.
“I love you, and I hope like hell you’ll let me prove it every day. Pick me, Sailor. Jake’s a better man. I can admit that, but I don’t believe he could love you as much as I do. It’s not possible.”
Rolling us over, I secure her petite frame beneath me, ensuring she’s mine for the moment. I claim her mouth, stroke her tong
ue and inhale her fruity scent that I could swear smells like strawberries.
I bite, suck and lave my way down her sinful body to sear in her brain that only I could make her feel this good. I’m the only man who could love and desire her to this degree.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Sailor
“Where in the world are you taking me?” I ask Jake as he keeps his hand over my eyes and helps me walk.
“We’re still in the Village, but I think you’re going to like it. Stop for a second.” A bell dings like one you’d hear when opening a door to a business. “Walk forward… OK, we’re here.” Jake removes his hand, and I look around.
“Is this your mom’s pottery shop?”
He grins proudly. “It is. I hope you don’t mind meeting her.”
“I’d love to.”
“I’ll be right back.” I survey the space as he leaves me alone and heads toward the back of the shop and through a curtain.
The room is bright and cheerful from the colored art on the walls and the painted pieces of finished pottery sitting on shelves.
The glow of evening sunlight casts on them through the windows, showcasing the bold colors, and I had suspected her shop would be this vibrant. Jake’s personality is like an aura of vivid colors.
He walks back inside the shop with the same grin, along with a woman who he favors. She’s in a long, floral dress that almost touches the floor, and her shoes are like ballet slippers.
She pushes back the dark hair that’s fallen from her messy updo. The apron over her dress is covered in remnants of clay and a rainbow spattering of paints.
“Sailor, I’d like you to meet my mother, Jeanine.”
“Mom, this is Sailor, the coolest teacher I know.”
“Madeline and Jake haven’t stopped talking about you. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“It’s wonderful to meet you, too. I love your shop.”
“Thank you. It’s like my third child, except this one is never going to grow up. It’s a little better of a tax write-off than my other two were, so I allow it to be demanding.”
