by Jenika Snow
Chapter Eleven
When those two words left her mouth, everything around Sophia seemed to still. Abe blinked several times and slowly leaned back in his chair. He had poured his heart to her, said the exact thing she had longed to hear, and now everything had shifted because of her revelation.
If she couldn’t see his chest rise and fall, she would have thought he stopped breathing. “Abe? Please, say something.” She couldn’t stand his silence. His eyes dropped to her belly and she covered it with her hands even though the table blocked his view. “Say something, Abe.”
For several long, tense moments, he did nothing but stare at her. When he did exhale, she thought they could finally discuss this. His hands slammed down on the table so hard, she jumped and cried out. He stood so fast his chair skidded back and hit the wall.
“Christ, Sophia. What the fuck do you want me to say?” He started pacing the length of the kitchen like a caged animal. He looked feral and intense. All she wanted to do was tell him the baby was his, but he seemed far too worked up. It didn’t matter what she said right now. Abe wouldn’t listen to reason.
“I—”
“So what?” He stopped and placed his palms on the table, leaning forward so his face was close to hers. “You fuck Hunter, get knocked up, and now you don’t know what to do?” He gave a humorless laugh and stood to pace once again. She was so stunned by his words that all she could do was stare at him with her mouth open.
“You… What?” Her voice was small, the shock of how this conversation was transpiring too much to even comprehend. She certainly hadn’t thought about telling him this way, and not tonight, but when she had seen him through the kitchen window striding up to her door, she knew it had to be a sign.
It had been over a month since they had a heart-to-heart, and since she had already spilled the beans to Hunter, she thought she might as well tell Abe tonight too. She hadn’t even told him the biggest part yet.
“You heard me, Kid!” He kicked his seat and it skidded across the floor. Sophia stood and put some distance between them. He looked bigger, his muscles more pronounced. The shirt he wore stretched across his wide shoulders, emphasizing his raw power. He turned his back to her and dropped his head in his hands. His shoulders shook slightly and when he turned back around, she was stunned to see tears in his eyes.
“Sophia.” The way he said her name was a broken gasp from his lips. He sat in one of the empty seats and let his head fall in his hands again. “Fuck, Soph,” he whispered hoarsely. She sat down beside him and with tentative movements reached across the table and gripped his forearm. His head lifted and he looked at her. The pain she saw in his face rocked her to her core.
“Abe—”
“I always thought it would be me.”
His words didn’t make any sense and she tightened her hold on him. “You always thought what would be you?”
He laughed, the sound short and low and hardly filled with humor. He looked out the kitchen window and stayed like that for several long moments. When he finally turned back to her there was a deep and fierce need in his eyes. “I thought the baby you would someday carry would be mine.”
Her throat closed and she held in her tears. “Oh, Abe.” She threw herself across the table and wrapped her arms around his neck. Inhaling deeply, she let the scent that was wholly Abe wash through her. She missed him so much, so damn much.
Throwing caution to the wind, she brought her lips to his ear and whispered, “But it is yours, Abe.” His body went taut and he gripped her arms, pulling her away. Sophia knew there would be disbelief and hurt in his expression, but she had hoped for happiness. Of course she got the former.
“Abe?” He pushed her away and stood. His breathing was hard and fast, and when he turned his gaze on her, she covered her throat with her hand. Pure unadulterated rage was reflected directly at her.
“You know, Sophia, I came here trying to make amends. I told you everything, opened my fucking soul to you. You’re the girl I love, the one I can’t see a future without, but then you tell me you’re fucking knocked up and that I’m the father.” A strangled sound left him. “How can someone so sweet be so cruel.” He didn’t phrase it like a question. “I tell you I wish you’d carry my babies someday and you go and tell me something like that.” His head dropped back into his hands and he murmured, “Tell me, Sophia, how can I be the father when we’ve never slept together?” When he lifted his head, tears freely ran down his cheeks. Despite his anger, she wanted to brush the wetness away.
Sophia had known this was going to happen, but she had never expected to see this kind of sadness from him. Her mouth was dry and no words could make it past her lips. “I’m sorry, Abe.” It was the best she could come up with at the moment.
He turned and looked at her incredulously. “You’re sorry? What are you sorry for, Sophia? My heart is broken and the life I dreamed about won’t ever happen. You’ll run off and live happily ever after, and I’ll stay in the background watching it all go down.” He stood and the chair scraped against the floor.
“I could have lived with the fact you didn’t want me, could have even made it through life watching you love someone else. But, Kid…” He turned tortured eyes to her. “I’ve been in love with you for years, and what I can’t live with is you pulling me in two different directions.”
He started walking toward the front door and she went after him, unwilling to let it end this way. “Please, Abe, please just listen to what I have to say.” He gripped the handle but didn’t open the door right away. “My whole life I’ve looked to you to be my rock. Our lives haven’t been the best, but we have always been there for each other.” She dropped her voice and whispered, “I’ve never lied to you. Never would. Now, please, if you’ve ever believed anything I’ve said, trust me in this. The baby I carry is yours.” He didn’t move, just held the door handle with his head downcast.
“I don’t know how to process any of this, Sophia. I want to be there for you, for your baby, but the pain I feel right now is sucking the very life out of me. Please,” he said as he looked over his shoulder at her, “let me get my head straight.” He threw open the door and she grabbed his arm, needing to tell him all of it.
“I’m not lying, Abe. For God’s sake it happened one night when you were dru—” Before she could finish, he tore his arm out of her grasp and stalked toward his bike, not even looking back at her.
Sophia watched him climb on his bike and leave. Pain radiated from her chest and she rubbed hard, fast circles over her heart. She knew what he thought, knew he was under the impression that she was pregnant with Hunter’s baby and trying to pass it off as Abe’s.
God, what a freaking mess.
She closed the door and leaned back against it. How she wished the world would just swallow her up right now. She knew this was going to be hard for Abe to accept. Hell, it would have been hard for anyone to accept. He needed time to come to grips with this. She wouldn’t give up on him now that he loved her as more than a friend. Maybe there was hope for them? Right now, though, she was alone in more ways than one.
****
Sweat poured from Abe’s body and he pumped his legs harder. He had been running for over two hours now and he had no intention of stopping. Ever since leaving Sophia’s house a week ago, he had been all kinds of fucked up. He’d completely stopped drinking and hadn’t been with any women. He was cleansing his body of all impurities, trying to clear his head in the process. He felt like a piece of shit for shutting Sophia out, but everything she told him kept replaying in his mind over and over again.
He trusted Kid with his life, but how in the hell could he be the father of her baby when he never slept with her? Running harder and faster, he circled the lake for the twentieth time. A woman with one of those running strollers crossed paths with him and he couldn’t help but glance down at the baby inside. Although he couldn’t see the child because of the screen, he could hear a tiny cry as she passed him.
Facing forward again, he knew the more logical explanation was that Hunter was a deadbeat dad. It seemed hard to believe because, for all the years Abe had known him, Hunter had always been a stand-up man. It was clear the reality of life had fucked with his head too and he was completely turning his back on Sophia, just like Abe was doing. Could he really raise another man’s baby? Could he watch the woman he was in love with grow big with Hunter’s child? It was a lot to take in and all he wanted to do at the moment was run until he couldn’t run anymore.
****
Three weeks later
Sophia sat in the waiting room and twisted her hands together. There were a few other people also waiting, two women with their boyfriends or husbands by their sides, one girl who couldn’t be more than sixteen, and another who was around her age and alone as well. The women that had their male counterparts with them were very pregnant. Their round bellies protruded under their tops, and Sophia placed her hand on her own stomach. While hers was still flat, she imagined herself with a big, round belly. Even after she had time to comprehend it all, it was still so surreal. She grabbed a magazine, one that had a smiling pregnant woman on it. The cover said something about being fit and pregnant.
After the incident with Abe, she tried to call him a few times, but it was clear he wasn’t ready. She didn’t know how long it would take him to get through it all, but at least she had finally been honest with him. She might not have been able to tell him about their drunken night of sex, but Sophia would continue to try, no matter how long it took him to listen. Giving Abe space was the hardest thing she had ever done.
“Ms. Kidd?”
Sophia looked up. An older woman wearing Sponge Bob scrubs smiled at her and gestured her to come forward. After putting the magazine down, she grabbed her purse and followed the nurse to the back. First she was weighed and instructed to put on the required paper gown, and then Sophia could do nothing but wait for the doctor to come in.
Sitting in the cold exam room, all she could think about was what Abe was doing and how she wished he was experiencing this with her. In the three weeks since he had left her house and refused to talk to her, Sophia had quit her job at the bar and found one as a secretary for a dental clinic in the next town over. The drive was only about twenty minutes, and there were a lot of perks that she hadn’t been offered working at Tiny’s. She now had health insurance, made more money, and was able to sit down which would be a godsend when she was big and fat.
There was a knock on the door and then the doctor pushed it open and smiled at her. This was her second appointment, the first one being the initial visit where they confirmed she was indeed pregnant. This appointment was a little more special, though. Today she would get an ultrasound and actually get to see her baby, the bean-shaped creature that was growing inside of her anyway.
“How are you, Sophia?” Dr. Smith sat down beside her and started typing on the mini-sized computer she carried around. She swiveled around in the small black rolling chair with a wide grin on her face. “You ready to see your baby and hear the heartbeat?”
“Absolutely.” Sophia couldn’t help the excitement in her voice despite the fact that she wished Abe was there to share it with her.
“Go ahead and lie back, and put your feet in the stirrups.”
Once Sophia was positioned and the doctor had the cold, lubed-up instrument where it needed to be, she turned her head and watched the small screen. At first all she saw was black and gray, but then there it was, the tiny flickering on the monitor. The doctor tapped on some buttons and then the whooshing and thumping sound of her baby’s heartbeat filled the room. Tears welled in her eyes. She propped her head up with her arm and watched the screen.
“Now, I’m just measuring the baby, making sure the due date is accurate.” More clicking and tapping from the doctor on the machine. “Here are the little arms and legs.” She pointed out the areas. “This is the face and right in the center is the heart.” Sophia focused on that small flicker and didn’t bother wiping away her steadily flowing tears.
Her baby didn’t look much like a baby at all. She could make out the arms and legs, but she couldn’t see hands, feet, toes, or fingers. None of that mattered, though, because it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. At that moment everything that she had gone through, all the pain and heartache, didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was the child growing inside of her.
“Well, looks like you are right on schedule. You’re still set to deliver in May.”
The doctor printed off a few pictures for her and left her to dress. For several long moments all she did was stare at those five little photos. She dressed quickly and headed outside. It was already October and the chill in the air was enough to take her breath away. She couldn’t help but look down at the pictures again. Her grin widened at the sight of her little bean of a baby. Tucking the pictures in her pocket, Sophia hustled to her car. She might be going to an empty house, but after today she didn’t feel so lonely. Before she stepped off the curb, she glanced up and everything around her stilled. Abe exited the small bookstore on the corner of the street. His attention was on the bag he carried, but as if there was an invisible string that pulled him to her, he lifted his eyes and locked them on her. For a heartbeat all she could do was stare at him. He looked good, although there was a distinct emptiness that she caught a glimpse of before he hid it. She missed him horribly. His eyes went to the building she had just exited, and she could see the realization on his face right before a look of pain covered his features.
It was clear things still weren’t right in his head, so before she did something that would make her look like a fool, she hurried to her car. When he was ready to talk, he knew where she would be. As she pulled away she looked in her rearview mirror and saw him standing in the same spot as he watched her leave.
Chapter Twelve
Abe sat at the picnic table in the courtyard of Red’s. His half-eaten sandwich lay in front of him, but his appetite was gone. All he could think about was early that morning when he saw Sophia leaving her doctor’s office. A pain in his chest and stomach the likes of which he had never felt whipped through him. She had looked so beautiful. She wasn’t showing yet, but he knew in the next couple of months she would.
It had been three weeks since he had spoken to or seen her, and there was no one to blame but himself. He couldn’t count the times he had picked up his phone, on the verge of calling her and saying how sorry he was. In the end he had tossed his cell on the counter every time. He wasn’t ready to face that yet, and he knew damn well he was being a dickless coward. He grabbed the bag that held his purchase for the day. Looking at the contents, he knew that he couldn’t stay away from Sophia. She was just too important to him.
A lot had changed in the past three weeks. She no longer worked at Tiny’s. He had found that out when he had gone there two weeks after their fight. He had done some investigating and found out she now worked at some dentist’s office outside of town. He still wanted to make sure she was okay, and if he did that from a distance until he got his emotions together, then it would have to do.
He would have spoken to her today, but he had frozen and by the time he found his nerve, she was gone. What could he possibly say that would make any of it right? Nothing, that’s what.
Over the past three weeks he had done a lot of thinking. She claimed he was the father, but he knew that couldn’t be right. He would have remembered sleeping with Kid, that was for damn sure, and he wouldn’t have let her go. So that left the only option of her saying he was the father because the real father, who he assumed was Hunter, didn’t want anything to do with her or the baby. That revelation left a nasty taste in his mouth, but he hadn’t been able to get a hold of Hunter since he left right after Abe had seen Sophia and she revealed she was pregnant. His employees told him he left the state for some kind of business meeting, which Abe thought was pretty fucking convenient. Once Hunter was back, he was going to have a few
choice words with him, and most likely a few punches. Leaving the woman carrying his child was inexcusable. Then again, Abe wasn’t much better, was he? He’d left Sophia when she obviously needed him.
“Heard you been looking for me?” Abe jerked his head up at the sound of Hunter’s voice. Anger washed through him fast and strong, and he got out of his seat and was in the man’s face in the next instant. Using the white-hot rage as his fuel, he threw his fist out and felt immense satisfaction when he connected with Hunter’s jaw.
“What the fuck, Abe?” Hunter took a step back, his hand rubbing his jaw. He turned his head and spit out a mouthful of blood. “Are you fucking crazy?” He eyed Abe then muttered, “Never mind. Don’t answer that, but you can answer why you took a shot at me?”
Abe took a minute to get himself under control. He didn’t want to start an all-out brawl with Hunter, especially at work and with Seth in the next building over. Loosening his jaw he said, “If you think real good and hard, I’m sure the reason will come to you.”
For a solid minute Hunter rubbed his jaw and stared at Abe, and then he said, “This have anything to do with Sophia and the fact she’s pregnant?”
Hunter acted so nonchalant about it and it further pissed Abe off. He growled low in his throat and Hunter’s eyes widened slightly. At least the fucker knew to be afraid. The longer he stared at Hunter, the more pissed off he got. Between gritted teeth he growled out, “You think it’s cool to leave a girl that you knocked up?” He took a step forward and he had to give the man credit for not retreating like a pussy.
“You think it makes you a man to sleep with a woman that is good and kind and leave her high and dry when shit doesn’t go your way?” He took another step toward Hunter until they were toe-to-toe. “Sophia isn’t that kind of girl and doesn’t deserve that shit. I thought you were a decent dude. Turns out I’ll have to beat the asshole right outta ya.” Before he could land another solid hit, Hunter held his hands up and took a step back.
