by Patti Larsen
Her hand dropped to the covers with a dull thud as her eyelids drooped. Sassafras's purr increased in volume as his power washed over her, calming her. She twitched, a little frown on her face as though she fought him, before sighing and falling into sleep.
I stayed there, frozen by her words, by her love, free hand pressed to my mouth to keep from sobbing out loud, still holding her hand.
So small and cold in mine.
Sassafras settled, amber eyes closing, nose to Gram's cheek as Mom circled the bed and helped me stand, guiding me from the room.
I leaned against the wall, entire being vibrating with the fear Gram wasn't going to be okay. That she said all those things because she knew she was dying. But Mom's hug came with a hearty dose of reassurance, as did Lula's kind smile.
“I promise,” the young healer said, “Ethpeal isn't going anywhere.”
“For now” hung between us. But I'd take it.
“Syd,” Mom said softly, “you have to understand. Your grandmother has been through so much, from her days as an Enforcer, her seventeen years when her mind was lost to us.” Mom dabbed at her own tears. “Her body and mind are simply wearing out.”
Too many battles. Too much grief and loss and endless suffering.
It had to get better from here for her. And I vowed, standing there outside her door, feeling the subtle support of Sassafras's power, I would make sure she had nothing but happiness from here on in.
If I had to kill anyone who came near her to do it.
***
Chapter Forty
Liam's arms welcomed me as I appeared in the Sidhe cavern. I don't know if he expected me or if he was just that happy to see me. But the moment I showed up he rushed to me and hugged me tight.
Kissed me. And I kissed him back, the thrum of earth magic vibrating the ground beneath us.
When I finally pulled away, I giggled a little. “Forgot what that was like.”
Wow, Syd. Way to prod a guy for being a pathetic Momma's boy.
Liam blushed, ducked his head. “We can see where it takes us,” he said, hope in his face as his hands slid into my back pockets, tucking my hips against his. “If you want?”
Hmmm. “Where's your mother?” Come to think of it, I hadn't seen her once since this whole thing started.
Liam's jaw tightened. “I sent her away.”
Wow. He what?
“She was driving me nuts.” He pulled free of me, turned to stare at the Gate. “I understood she felt guilty, that she was trying to protect me. But I couldn't take it anymore, Syd. So I made her leave.”
“How?” Not that he wasn't persuasive if he wanted to be, but she was hard-core helicopter mom.
Liam turned to me, biting his lower lip, eyes full of guilt. “Magic,” he said.
I choked on a laugh even though it really wasn't funny. “You did what?”
He tossed his hands in the air before running both of them through his strawberry blonde hair. “I know it was wrong.” Liam clenched his fists at his sides, face compressing into a frown. “But she didn't give me a choice. She wanted me to seal the Gate, Syd. To give up my responsibility.” He hesitated. “To give you up.”
Way to find a backbone, Liam.
“I used my power,” he said, starting to pace, clearly agitated by his choice. “She pushed me too far. Galleytrot was here.” The big dog huffed a breath, tongue lolling out. He clearly found this whole situation amusing. “She yelled at me, talked about how dangerous the Gate was, how it killed Dad.” Liam stopped moving, turned to me. “I snapped.”
Venner, the Unseelie lordling we'd returned to the Sidhe realm killed Liam's father. But I still believed his mother had something to do with it.
Speaking of Venner, I hadn't seen him once during the crisis in the realm. I wondered if Odhran had done something nasty to him.
I could hope.
“I ordered her to go.” Liam slumped. “With all of the power of the Gate behind me. And she did.”
“Where?” I went to him, hugged him gently, rested my head on his chest while his arms rose and embraced me.
“I don't know,” he whispered. “But I made sure she was safe. And happy. Told her to be. That was part of the order.”
Of course it was. This was Liam, after all.
“When was this?” I looked up into his eyes.
“Two weeks ago.” He stroked my hair back from my face.
“Why didn't you tell me?” Silly boy.
“Because,” he said, clearly miserable, “you didn't want me anymore.”
For a brief flash of time, Gram's face appeared in my mind. Her words. That he was weak, too weak for me.
But he'd kicked his own mother to the curb. For me. Well, for the Gate, too. But I was part of the package. That wasn't weak. Liam was stronger than anyone—including me—gave him credit for. He just needed incentive to show his power.
I kissed him, let it linger. Felt his magic twine through mine. Remembered, in a tight knot of guilt, who I'd just kissed only a few hours ago.
Sighed internally as I stepped away from him.
“Well,” I said. “Maybe we can try again.”
Liam's beaming smile was all the answer I needed.
I stepped out of the veil into the yard not long after, leaving Liam to his research, not ready to rekindle things just yet, but feeling more hopeful. After all, I now had the power and permission to do what I needed to save the world, my one-time boyfriend proved he cared about me and his own responsibilities enough to act and Gram was going to be fine.
She was.
I just had to keep telling myself that.
I didn't get to walk into the house, not when the flare of power behind me turned me around. Quaid stepped out of the flash of blue light, chocolate eyes smiling at me.
And I ran right to his open arms.
Of course I did.
The moment he hugged me, face buried in my hair, he stiffened. Jerked back. Glared.
“I can smell him on you,” Quaid said.
Freaking seriously? He was going to go into this now?
Quaid backed away, turned to leave.
How could I just let him go?
“Thank you,” I said. “For being willing to throw everything away to save me.”
He stopped, shoulders tight, body rigid. His head turned, profile nodding once. I stood there, willing him to just beat it. No, to turn around and get over here.
No. Wait.
Damn it all to the bowels of—
He spun, stomped to me, engulfed me in his arms and crushed me against him.
While my demon howled and pulled him closer.
Sparks raced through me, magic bursting in snaps of color, heat rising from the depths of my stomach, passion burning me, the pain too much and I wanted more, more, as much as I could get.
His lips lifted from mine and I whimpered, begging him not to stop. To never let me go.
Please, never.
“I'd die for you,” he whispered over my mouth.
Released me. Backed away while the power tying us together fought for control.
And vanished in a flare of blue fire.
“Damn you,” I whispered back. “Same here.”
***
Chapter Forty One
I didn't make it two steps inside, still flushed from my encounter with Quaid, when I felt demon power surge in the basement and went running.
Found Meira waiting on the other side of the veil and crossed into her open arms.
She hugged me so tight I could barely breathe, forgetting until she pulled away to allow my demon form to take over.
Red skinned and black horned, I settled on her divan while she held my hand.
“Thanks for letting me know they didn't kill you or anything.” She grinned, taking the sting out of her words.
“I was getting to it,” I said. “Besides, you really thought they could?”
Meira's smile trembled and fell. “I didn't know,” she said.
We talked, about Gram, the Brotherhood. My new freedom. Meira's fierce, “Awesome!” mirrored my own.
“I'm worried about Demonicon now,” I said. “The Brotherhood has failed with the Sidhe and at least one major vampire clan. They will probably be coming for you next.” I paused, heart tightening all over again. “If they aren’t here already. You know how insidious they can be. How subtly their invasion begins.”
Meira just patted my hand with a grim smile on her face.
“Let them,” she said, tossing back her long, black curls. “I'm ready.”
Not “we”. Made me wonder. “How's Dad?”
Meira's pause before answering told me volumes. “He's fine,” she said. “Still settling in as Ruler.”
I opened my mouth to comment only to have Meira shake her head with a look of guilt.
“I shouldn't say that,” she said. “He's a wonderful Ruler. He's just...”
“Dad,” I said. “Kind and loving and generous.”
Meira's eyes told me I was right.
Which meant our demon family walked all over him.
“And Henemordonin?” At least he had a soul of steel.
“Grandfather is doing his best,” Meira said. “But Dad has his own ideas.”
Happiness and sparkly perkiness for all demons.
That would work.
“You know,” I said, “you were the right choice. I'd have made a terrible Ruler. But you, you're going to kick ass someday.”
She laughed. “I don't know if that's a compliment or not.” Her nose wrinkled before she squeezed my hand. “It is,” she said. “And I hope you're right.”
I hugged her. “I really have to get back. But please, let's not have this much time go between us from now on.” I pulled away. “Regular contact.”
“Promise.” She stood and I joined her. “But you can't go yet. Someone wants to talk to you.”
I winced, thinking who that someone might be. Followed her to the sitting room adjacent to her bedchamber. Found Rameranselot waiting for me.
Meira kissed me, winked and left us alone.
Bratski.
Ram's smirk triggered my temper, but also made me laugh. I crossed to him, hugged him. Felt my demon's passions stir again.
Felt like a total trollop. Three guys, Syd? Really? Not counting Sage, my martial arts teacher. Oh, and Sebastian.
Damn it. I had to free Sebastian.
But I had less than a year, didn’t I? Maybe the more the merrier, if it meant I made the best choice out of the options I had.
Since the right choice wasn’t open to me.
Ram's lips found mine, with a hunger I wasn't expecting. I kissed him back, opening to him as I'd never done before, letting my demon have full reign. But she pulled away after a moment, as lovely and delicious as he was.
Comparing him to Quaid wasn't conducive to encouraging a relationship.
“Were you serious?” His amber eyes didn't show me anything but his natural sarcastic humor. He was a master at hiding how he felt.
I didn't say anything, trying to decide. Was I? I asked him if he'd consider an effigy, knowing full well he'd know what I meant. What I offered.
Before I could decide, Ram laughed and hugged me, broad chest hard under my hands.
“I'm not who you need,” he said. “Who is he?”
Sigh.
“Someone I can never have,” I said. Felt the sting of tears again.
Stupid tears. Piss off already.
Ram let me go, smirk gone. Kissed my forehead.
“I knew better than to open my heart to you,” he said. “From the moment we met, I understood you'd never be mine. But it didn't work out the way I planned.” He grinned, a boyish expression that made me smile. “Still. I guess you'll just have to keep looking, princess.”
I stepped back from him, reaching for the veil. Felt my demon grandmother's spirit answer. Met Ram's eyes before I stepped through the gap. “Watch over her,” I said. “Keep my sister safe.”
He bowed, one hand pressed to his chest, absolutely serious. “I will give my life for hers,” he said. “I swear it.”
The echo of that was so familiar I stumbled my way through the veil.
Landed in the basement.
Realized only then, in the dark silence, I was alone.
Totally. Utterly. No, my egos were still with me. But one very important person wasn't.
Charlotte.
My head snapped up, terror punching me in the stomach.
“Charlotte?” When I had I seen her last? I dove for the stairs, took them two at a time, calling her name. I couldn't remember when I saw her. No, wait. I could.
Lying face down over the threshold of the back door. Blood pooling from her mouth and nose—
No. No, she couldn't be dead, they would have told me. And she'd only just chose to come back from the brink to be with me.
“Charlotte!”
I pounded up the stairs, hearing Shenka call for me from the living room, raced into Charlotte's room, my old room, without knocking. Guilt gnawed at my soul. How had I forgotten her?
How?
I froze at the sight of the perfectly made bed, the open closet door.
Empty.
Her things missing, not even the scent of her left behind.
My eyes fell to the quilt, to a piece of paper. Numb, lost, I picked it up. Unfolded it.
Я тебе кохаю. Carefully written in Charlotte's tight, efficient handwriting.
I sank to the bed, chest tightening around grief as Shenka burst into the room, concern on her face.
“Syd,” she looked around, clearly as confused by the emptiness as I was. “Where's Charlotte?”
I bent over the note, the letters smearing from my tears, no idea what the words meant, but cherishing them anyway.
Because they were all I had left of her.
Charlotte was gone.
***
Chapter Forty Two
Fairy tale endings are highly overrated.
At least, that's what I kept telling myself so I wouldn't feel so crappy about my life.
Demetrius returned, no sign of Alison. And the Brotherhood seemed to have gone to ground. I really hoped I did some major damage to Belaisle, both with the freeing of the Sidhe and by taking back the power of the Council. And Mom. He had to have been pouring a ton of energy into my mother.
Sucked to be him.
Not to mention all the magic Ameline stole. I had no doubt Belaisle would simply drain some of his own people to replace it, but it had to rankle.
Rankling was good.
Mind you, I wished the Brotherhood were out in the open instead of scurrying around like cockroaches looking for scraps at 3AM.
Gross.
At least with the Council's approval to act, I could start hunting them down and squashing them. That would be awesome.
I just had to find them first.
I had the sheet of paper Charlotte left me translated by a sweet older Russian woman who ran the local coffee shop. She squinted at it a moment before beaming me a smile and a wink. Told me it said “I love you” in Ukrainian.
I figured it was something like that.
But even though I tried to find her in those first hours and days, I finally gave up searching for my bodywere. Charlotte left on purpose, chose to go. And I now could only guess the bond keeping her with me had broken, probably when she almost died. Why I hadn't noticed...? Yeah, more guilt.
Dummyhead.
It wasn't my enemies I had to worry about. Sooner or later my own guilt would kill me.
I let her go, as hard as it was, knowing if she decided to come back, she would. That was Charlotte. But I still wished I could have said goodbye and wondered almost daily if she was okay.
I had to release my need to chase down Ameline, too. That one hurt just as much, only in a different way. Like someone ground a dull knife in my guts kind of way rather than shattering my heart into tiny fragments.
Fun
times.
Ameline was necessary. Had to develop her power. Fine. Okay then. She could just do that and hurry the hell up about it so we could track down the Brotherhood and smoosh them.
And then, I would kill her. Happily. With a big smile on my face.
Couldn't wait.
Made it so much worse knowing I needed her.
Gram was recovering somewhat, though her happy-go-crazy attitude had dimmed. I often found her sitting alone in the kitchen, just staring into space. Gone were her fuzzy socks, her cackling laugh. She cried a lot, when she'd let me catch her at it, and I often found Sassafras sneaking in to her room to sleep with her.
She needed him way more than I did, so I was cool with that. Any comfort he could bring her was a good thing.
When Varity visited the first time, she hugged me. Apologized all over again. I felt about three inches tall knowing I'd lied to her and gotten away with it. Mind you, I could have told her the truth, knowing there was nothing she could do about it, but seeing her made Gram happy so I swallowed my regret and welcomed the old Enforcer leader whenever she came to call.
Uncle Frank and Sunny were in close contact, which was a nice change. Sunny happily reported her entire blood clan, from the top down, was clear of the taint. She was concerned still about the Sthol’s, though, through the small interactions the other queen allowed her. Mom mentioned she heard a mutter of complaint from Pannera about me showing up at her castle, but she happily informed me since it was vampire business, it had nothing to do with her, did it?
Finally. The rules worked our way for once.
Sebastian crossed my mind many times over the next few weeks, but when I brought him up to Mom, she finally had to put her foot down. Yes, I had permission to act. In our territory. And while technically Celeste and her blood clan—Sebastian's blood clan—chose to live in North America, they were under the rule of the Sthol clan in Austria.
And thus, in Margaret Applegate's purview.
