by Nicola Marsh
I tried to disengage. She wouldn’t let me. Her arms snaked around my middle as she wriggled onto my lap.
Fuck.
The feel of her butt against my cock? More than I could stand and when she eased back to stare up at me with blatant need, I couldn’t resist.
I kissed her with every ounce of pent-up frustration, an awkward clash of lips and tongue and teeth, like we were doing this for the first time and were clueless.
Logic insisted I push her away, walk out the door and avoid future contact. But the part of me buried deep that yearned for a connection, even a transient physical contact, knew I couldn’t walk away from this girl no matter how much I tried.
I had no idea how long we kissed. A minute. An hour. Soul-destroying kisses that were so damned erotic I ached to be inside her.
But I didn’t rush it. I wanted to savor every incredible moment of having Dani in my arms.
When we finally came up for air, she straddled me.
"I want you to spend the night," she said, cupping my face in her hands, ensuring I had nowhere to look but directly into her passion-hazed eyes.
"Like a slumber party, you mean?"
She smiled. "Did you bring PJs?"
"No."
Her palm rasped against my stubble. "Sleeping bag?"
"Uh-uh."
Her hand came to rest on my chest, directly over my heart that thundered like a wild thing. "Then I guess you’ll be sleeping naked in my bed."
I screwed up my eyes, pretending to ponder. "Will there be a midnight feast?"
Her hand inched lower, her fingers toying with the button on my jeans. "You better believe it."
I couldn’t wait any longer. The verbal foreplay with Dani was as big a turn-on as having her ready, willing and able on my lap.
"In that case, we’ve got a good four hours to work up an appetite beforehand." I scooped her up like she weighed nothing, enjoying her girly squeals.
"Put me down, you big dufus." Though she didn’t resist, considering her arms snaked around my neck and hung on. "But in case you’re wondering, my bedroom’s that first door down the hallway."
I didn’t need to be told twice as I all but ran toward it. When I reached the door, I nudged it open with my hip and zeroed in on the one place I wanted to be right now. The bed.
But then Dani clapped her hands and a noise-activated lamp switched on, giving me more to look at than the shadowed outline of a bed.
"What the hell?" I laughed, gently depositing Dani on the bed before doing a three-sixty. "Are you running a souvenir shop from home?"
"The girl who rents this place, Annabelle, thought this stuff would make me feel welcome." She chuckled. "My favorite’s the echidna jewelry holder."
"She went to a lot of trouble." I hadn’t seen this much Australiana in one place since the university threw a party for the new students during orientation week when it coincided with Australia Day.
"Yeah, she did." A hint of sadness had returned to her tone. "Not many people would do stuff like this."
She didn’t add ‘for me’ but I could hear it in her voice, could see it in the quick look away.
So I did the only thing I could to banish her sadness.
I reached for her.
She took my outstretched hands, let me tug her into standing.
"Will you let me do something for you tonight?" I asked, shocked by a surge of protectiveness so fierce that I’d fight all her battles if she let me. "Will you let me make you feel as incredible as you make me feel?"
The moment the words spilled from my lips, I wondered if it was too much. Would she freak out and think I was coming on too strong?
I had my answer when she nodded, grabbed the hem of my T-shirt, and peeled it upward.
I lifted my arms to help, waiting until she’d tossed it away before returning the favor. My fingertips deliberately grazed the soft skin of her waist. Higher. Across the undersides of her tits encased in black lace.
She whimpered, a purely needy sound that shot straight to my cock.
The rest happened faster than I would’ve liked, but considering the length of time since I’d last had sex, I needed to be inside her ASAP.
I knelt, ripped down her yoga pants, and her panties came with them. Leaving me eye level with her Brazilian. And nirvana.
I gripped her butt and tugged her toward me. Brushed my nose against her, inhaling the pungent musk of her arousal.
Then I licked her. Swiping my tongue over her clit repeatedly. Harder. Faster. Until her hands fisted in my hair and she cried out, her knees buckling slightly.
I eased her onto the bed and stood, making sure she was looking at me before I licked my lips.
"You’re incredibly good at that," she murmured, her cheeks flushed as she unhooked her bra and flung it away. "Now let me show you something I’m good at."
She scooted forward, unsnapped my jeans, tugged the zipper down and eased my jeans over my hips.
Her eyes widened when she caught sight of my cock. "You’re going commando?"
"Haven’t had time to do laundry this week."
What with the manic work hours to obliterate my constant thoughts of Dani and how much I’d wanted to do exactly what we were about to do.
"Impressive." I didn’t know if she was talking about my daring or my cock, and I didn’t care, when she pushed my jeans all the way down and I kicked them off.
When her hand wrapped around me, I was in heaven.
When her mouth closed around the tip of my cock, I groaned.
When she took me all the way into her mouth, I had to put a stop to this.
I didn’t want my first time coming with her to be like this.
"Dani," I moaned, easing my hips back. "Later." Because the sight of her giving me a blowjob was something I’d never forget. "I need to be inside you so badly."
She glanced up at me from her kneeling position, the devilish glint in her eyes making her look like an angel hell-bent on sin. "Okay, but I’m going to finish this later."
"Deal." As she stood, I grabbed a condom out of my wallet, wishing I were the kind of optimistic guy who packed three.
She stared at the foil packet. "You only have one?"
"Better make it count."
She plucked it from my fingers, tore it open and had me sheathed with an expertise that made me oddly jealous. "Lucky for us, along with Aussie souvenirs, Annabelle stocks condoms in her bedroom."
She pointed at the single drawer bedside table. "So how about it? Ready to make good on that promise to make me feel incredible?"
"Absolutely."
And I did.
All night long.
Chapter 11
DANI
I woke to the shower running. Meant Ash hadn’t bolted at daybreak like I’d expected.
Most women would take it as a good sign. Me? I wasn’t so sure. I’d never done morning-after etiquette. Ever.
My sexual dalliances ended the moment mutual satisfaction was achieved. I never stayed the night. And I never let them spend the night.
Which meant having Ashton sleep over was a first on many levels. The first time I’d had sex four times in one night. The first time I’d come every time. The first time I’d let a guy spoon me until dawn.
Initially, it had been a game to me. See how long before I could make him crack. I’d been seriously pissed when he’d stood me up for lunch so had invited him here with one thing in mind.
Seduction.
But that plan had gone to shit the moment I’d started blabbing about my past … what was it about this guy that had me wanting to confide?
Luckily, his comforting had ended up with the two of us exactly where I’d wanted to be: in bed. I should be over him now. That’s what usually happened when I had the slightest attraction to any guy back in LA. A bit of transient sex before moving on.
But looked like I was taking this new life start-over seriously, because the way I was feeling right now? Not over Ash. Far from it. Not ev
en remotely.
I wanted more. More of him. More of what we’d shared last night. More of this insane, glorious feeling making me tingle from head to foot, a feeling I suspected bordered on happiness.
I’d never been truly happy. Not at any stage of my life. All those gifts my folks showered me with to appease their consciences? The guys I’d slept with? The vacations to ritzy resorts? I would’ve traded them all to feel one ounce of what I was feeling now.
My friendship with Mia was the closest thing I’d had to being happy, but even that had been underscored by my guilt at not telling her everything. It had tainted us. Culminating in the disastrous fuck-up that had led me here to get my life back on track.
Sleeping with Ash may not have been terribly smart considering my grand plan to stay away from guys and focus on my studies. But Ash wasn’t just any guy. He was the only friend I had here and the connection we shared counted for something. Something beyond sex.
That thought alone propelled me out of bed and toward the bathroom. I needed to see that the sex hadn’t changed us. That he could still look at me with that intoxicating mix of mischief and seriousness. My naughty geek, that’s how I’d come to think of him. For someone so somber most of the time, he could do wicked things in the bedroom.
He glanced over his shoulder and spotted me through the fogged shower screen the moment I stepped into the bathroom. I waited, holding my breath. Waited for him to turn off the taps so he could leave me to shower alone. Waited for him to ask me to give him another few minutes. Waited for him to shut down.
When his lips curved into the sexy smile I remembered from last night, my heart leapt. And when he opened the shower door and beckoned me with a crook of his finger, I didn’t need to be asked twice.
"Good morning," he said, turning to envelop me in his arms, the evidence of exactly how good it was jutting into my belly.
"It is now." I slid my arms around his neck, backed him up a little, so the water cascaded over both of us.
"Thanks." He rested his forehead against mine, a strangely intimate gesture that got to me more than our slick bodies pressed together.
"For what?"
"For a night I’ll never forget." His lips brushed mine in a slow, sensual sweep that made me sag against him. "For being warm and fun and spontaneous." He nibbled his way along my jaw toward my ear. "For being amazing in bed." He sucked my earlobe into his mouth and tongued it. "Most of all, for being you."
Thank God for the water spraying us because the last thing I needed was for him to see how his words had moved me to tears.
I kissed him, a desperate melding of mouths to obliterate the terror coursing through me.
I didn’t cry over guys. I didn’t feel more than lust. And I sure as hell didn’t let a little sweet-talking get to me.
So I did the one thing guaranteed to distract us both.
I kissed my way down his chest. Across his hips. His upper thighs. Before taking him into my mouth.
I could do this. This I knew. A blowjob to take the edge off for him, to take the edge off my feelings. And I needed that more than anything, something familiar amidst this confusing, riotous, out of control feeling that was making me go a little nuts.
Ash could never be my forever guy.
But that didn’t stop me wishing he could be.
#
I wasn’t the touristy type.
I’d come to Melbourne to do one thing: start over. Sure, I’d flicked through the guides Annabelle had left for me and thought a few things looked interesting, but I’d been too busy trying to get my head around lectures and assignments to worry about checking out Melbourne.
Oh, and there’d been that other distraction. The same distraction that was currently holding my hand as we strolled along Brunswick Street, one of the city’s cultural hot spots.
Another thing that was new. I didn’t do handholding. Guess I’d never liked any of my dates enough to let them touch me that long. With Ash, I kinda liked it.
I’d expected him to bolt after our steamy shower interlude this morning. Revert to reserved. Maybe even awkward. But having sex seemed to have eased some of his tension and he was almost comfortable around me.
Then he’d surprised me even more by suggesting he show me tourist haunts along his favorite street. I could’ve begged off on the pretext of doing Saturday grocery shopping or catching up on assignments or a study date in the library. Instead, I’d found myself trawling vintage shops, exploring cafes and gardening boutiques all day.
It had been the best twenty-four hours of my life.
Which made me want to run back to the apartment as fast as humanly possible.
I didn’t deserve this kind of happiness. It made me feel guilty, that my baby had died because of what I’d done yet here I was, living it up.
Crazy, I know, because people suffered losses every day and moved on, but whenever I felt good, the guilt would be there, eating away at me, making me do dumb things.
Like sabotage the best relationship, the only relationship, I’d ever had.
Not that I was foolish enough to label what I had with Ash as a relationship. But we’d moved past friendship last night and I didn’t know what to call us. Fuck buddies? Too crass, considering we knew stuff about each other beyond the physical.
Whatever we were, I was going to enjoy it for today. Time enough for my usual self-recriminations tomorrow.
"There’s a great African restaurant a little further up. Want to have dinner?" He squeezed my hand, totally at ease with this new us.
"Sounds good." I squeezed back, wondering if he could see my happiness. "Though you’re not sick of me yet? It’s been a long day."
"It’s been a great day," he said, tugging my hand so I landed flush against him. "Phenomenal."
"Agreed." I snuggled into him, feeling secure in a way I never had. "Though for a while there I was starting to doubt your masculinity, what with your never-ending supply of patience while I tried on dresses in every vintage shop along the street?"
The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled and pressed his pelvis into mine. "I thought last night would’ve allayed any doubts about my masculinity."
"Good point." I ran my fingers through his hair, savoring the silkiness. "Maybe you can prove it to me again after dinner?"
For me to want to spend another night with Ash? The equivalent of a full-blown declaration ‘I seriously like you’. I was putting myself out there in a way I never had before.
He grimaced and my heart sank. "Sorry, I can’t."
"Another hot date?" I aimed for levity, desperate to hide my hurt at his rejection.
He shook his head. "No, just promised I’d visit someone."
On a Saturday night?
God, I’d been an idiot. How could I have confused a mutual attraction and hot sex for anything more?
Of course Ash would have other girl friends. For all I knew, he could have an entire black book of them lined up for casual visits.
It was the life I’d led. A life I was used to. So why did it hurt so goddamn much to be on the receiving end?
"Okay," I said, forcing a bright smile. "Do you want to skip dinner?"
A tiny frown creased his brow. "No. Do you?"
I didn’t. I wanted to spend another few hours with him to top off the incredibly romantic day we’d spent.
But no way in hell was I a glutton for punishment.
"Actually, can we call it quits? It’s been a long day and I didn’t get much sleep last night."
His eyes narrowed slightly as he stared at me. "I thought that was a good thing?"
"It was, but I’m beat." I faked a yawn. "Thanks for today. It’s been amazing."
I could tell he hadn’t bought my lame excuse by his deepening frown. But before he could push me further, I slipped out of his embrace.
"You get a head-start on your visit, I’ll find my own way home."
He shook his head. "I’ll take you home—"
"No," I almost sh
outed, lowering my voice when several passersby glanced at us. "I’ll be fine. See you round."
That’s when I did bolt, darting through cars and leaping onto the tram conveniently stopped at traffic lights.
Ash gaped at me but he didn’t follow. Instead, he stood rooted to the spot, maintaining eye contact until the tram moved out of sight.
Only then did I allow myself the luxury of letting a few tears fall.
Chapter 12
ASHTON
I didn’t blame Dani for freaking out.
I was too, but on the inside.
How could I feel so connected to a woman I barely knew?
It wasn’t the mind-blowing sex, because I’d had good sex before, but had never felt compelled to be with that person for as long as humanly possible. Yet after last night, that’s exactly how I felt about Dani.
Simply, I didn’t want to spend the weekend alone.
Despite having a shitload of marking to do—Saturday was my usual catch up day—and a commission to finish, I’d spent the day playing tour guide. And loved every second of it.
Even when she’d been trying on every hat/scarf/brooch/dress in the vintage shops along Brunswick Street, I hadn’t been bored. Instead, I’d laughed and teased and been more relaxed than I had been in forever.
There was a lightness to Dani that eased my darkness. And for the first time since we’d met, she’d lost the haunted shadows in her eyes and had appeared genuinely happy.
I knew the feeling, because for those precious hours we spent together? I’d been happy too.
When was the last time I’d been truly happy? When I was a teenager and Mum had regular acting roles? When I’d discovered I could actually earn money for my painting passion? When Mum had a good day and was content to calmly sit and chat about the great times we’d had?
I couldn’t remember and it made the hours I’d spent with Dani all the more special.
Then she’d shut down.
One minute we’d been making dinner plans, the next she’d bolted onto that tram without looking back.
