Punching Judy nodded, twisting her lips as she studied me, but when she left Delta slid out with her, and I saw them holding hands as the turbolift hissed shut.
I looked over to Vector, and he nodded, spread his hands. “It is what it is,” he said, resigned.
“Good man.”
The rest of the androids remained on the bridge as we adjourned to the ready room.
Honestly, I might have been riffing on Star Trek when I designed the upper floors of this mecha. But down here I didn’t have to worry about copyrights... not that I ever did in the first place. Perk of supervillainy, really.
“Right.” I walked over to my armor, and suited up. Normally it felt like a coffin to me, but after weeks without it, I found myself relaxing at the feeling. I’d missed it, missed that boot-up sequence, and the various creaks and groans as the internal harness activated, and the subsystems spun up one by one.
It was crude, perhaps, compared to the suit I’d entered this plane with. Battered and reconstructed and built with the best materials to hand, rather than the best that could be, but it was dependable, it was mine, and I could rely on it no matter what came. “FEELS GOOD TO HAVE HER PROPER FACE ON ONCE MORE,” I thundered, turning to face my team and sweeping my cloak back. “NOW LET’S TALK TO SOME DEMON SPOOKS.”
About the time I finished up, Epsilon returned, cupping First Whisper’s old necklace in his hands. First Whisper fluttered her wings at the sight, every inch of her body registering apprehension. I reached out and patted her shoulder, and she started in fear.
“YOU ARE ONE OF DIRE’S CREW NOW. IF THEY TAKE VENGEANCE UPON YOU, DIRE SHALL LAY DOWN SOME FAIRLY BIBLICAL RECKONING.”
“Even after I betrayed you?” she whispered.
“PFFT. IT’S NOT BETRAYAL IF YOU’RE WORKING FOR ANOTHER INTEREST IN THE BEGINNING. IT’S A SUCCESSFUL INFILTRATION, AND A REMINDER TO DIRE TO BUFF UP HER SECURITY SYSTEMS. IN ANY CASE, THAT BRIDGE HAS NOT BEEN BURNED.” I sat in the ready room’s throne, the one with the light-up metal skulls and pyrotechnics. It let out soft gouts of fire to either side, reflecting in the polished steel of my outer layer of armor. My app helped me get the angles just right.
Epsilon sat the crystal in the center of the table, and I nodded to First Worm. “EASY ENOUGH TO ACTIVATE, YES?”
“This close to the source... if it is the Seventy-seven, then it should be so. I’d like a buffer between myself and the crystal, in case they try a remote kill. Some stone or metal tray, perhaps?”
“Got to watch those Rkills,” Alpha smirked. Linux jokes? Seriously?
“NERD,” I commented, then considered the table. I peeled back the rubber surface, revealing the iron below. “GOOD ENOUGH?”
“Yes.” First Worm slid long fingers onto the table, and my sensors jumped as he worked his hoodoo. The crystal sparked to life, and I nodded in satisfaction. “ONCE YOU’VE GOT AN IMAGE, PUT IT OUT FOR US TO SEE.”
“Almost... this is a strange feeling, without my normal rig. Ah, here we go,” First Worm wiggled his fingers, and an image diffused out, hologram-style, above the table. It resembled a neck-and-face shot of a man with thorns embedded in his bald scalp. He had a classical devil’s goatee, and his skin was as gray as ash. Blood-red eyes shifted down to the stone as the angle turned. He was obviously picking it up and examining it.
“HELLO THERE. ARE YOU THE SECRET SOCIETY THAT DIRE’S ATTEMPTING TO CONTACT AT THIS MINUTE, OR DOES SHE HAVE A WRONG NUMBER?”
He blinked. “I don’t know your number, or what sort of number you are referring to,” he rumbled, “but you should definitely not be on this node.”
“DIRE GOES WHERE SHE WILL. LIKE OUTSIDE YOUR CITY.” I punched up the mecha’s remote interface and waved its arm. “SEE? SHE’S WAVING AT YOU NOW.”
A hubbub in the background, and Mister Thorny glanced to the side, eyes narrowing. Then he shoved his face closer, so that his eye filled most of the image. “Assuming you are who you say you are, what business have you with us? You come to conquer, and we do not wish to be conquered. There is little point in continuing this conversation.”
“YOU’RE WRONG ON TWO COUNTS. SHE CARES LITTLE FOR CONQUERING DIS, AND THERE IS EVERY POINT IN CONTINUING THIS CONVERSATION.”
He considered me for a long moment, staring.
“DIRE WILL NEVER BLINK,” I told him.
“That makes two of us.”
“AND INCIDENTALLY, YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR WORMS TO STOP TRYING TO UNDERMINE THE DIRENAUT. IT WON’T FALL, AND THEIR GEO SORCERY WON’T PENETRATE THE SHIELDS SHE’S PUT IN PLACE AGAINST THEM.”
“I am quite sure I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“RIGHT.” We’d picked up the seismic readings half an hour ago. Luckily we’d thought of this, and taken the appropriate protective measures with force fields. “IF YOU’RE TOO IGNORANT TO KNOW OF THE CITY’S DEFENSES, THEN YOU’RE PROBABLY TOO LOW-RANKED TO BE WORTH SPEAKING TO.” I gestured at First Worm. “KILL THE LINK.”
He removed his fingers from the crystal.
“Five, four, three, two...” Gamma counted.
The crystal started blinking of its own accord. I nodded to First Worm, and he set his fingers to the tabletop again. The image projected once more, resolving into my new pal, Thorny.
“The subterranean assault has been put on hold,” he told me. “You have five minutes.”
“NO, YOU HAVE AN UNCLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.” I flexed my gauntlets and did a proper villainous slouch, elbow on the throne’s armrest, mask resting on my fist. “DIRE HAS NO DESIRE TO CONQUER OR DESTROY YOUR CITY, BUT IT IS IN BETWEEN HER AND LUCIFER. SO ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, SHE’S GOING TO CROSS DIS AND GO SPEAK WITH THE FIRST FALLEN. THE AMOUNT OF PAIN, DESTRUCTION, AND LOSS THAT YOU SUFFER AS A RESULT IS ENTIRELY UP TO YOU.”
“We will fight you if we must. You are not as unstoppable as you think you are. And you say that monstrosity is called the Direnaut? Interesting.” He nodded to someone out of our view.
Warning lights flared, and I smiled to myself. The runes that Khalid had insisted we carve into the outer shell of the Direnaut’s armor had just activated.
“WITCH, PLEASE,” I told Thorny. “THAT PENNY ANTE SORCERY MIGHT WORK AGAINST YOUR PEERS, BUT IT WON’T PLAY IN THE BIG LEAGUES. DO THAT AGAIN AND SHE’LL TREAT YOU AS SHE DID THE DRAGON.”
“Dragon?” He raised an eyebrow.
“OH, YOU’LL LOVE THIS.” I activated the monitor, pointed it at the screen, and had First Worm rotate the guy’s perspective until he got to watch the footage from the dragon ’fight’, with Thus Spake Zarathustra playing in the background.
The Cat paused his grooming to look my way. “Shitting his pants,” he told me. “Not literally, mind you.”
This was why I’d invited The Cat in. He’d gotten to talking with First Worm after an M&M session a few days ago, and they’d experimented. Turns out that his mental abilities worked over whatever medium Lurkcrystals used.
Which meant that there was a distinct possibility that our own surface thoughts and emotions were being scanned from the other end, as well. Which was perfectly fine by me. I had meant every word I said and had no intention of lying to Thorny and his people. I was offering a mutual solution, and if we couldn’t find one, I’d go to plan E. E for explosions!
Really, I’d run out of fucks as far as Hell was concerned. I was done with this place and done with demons barring my path and done with random horror shows and watching the torments of the Damned and done with random waves of sinful urges pounding me nonstop.
It really, really was a good thing we had come down past the ring of Lust. I didn’t know how I could have coped with that, given the flaming pile of tires my last relationship had been in the days leading up to Hell.
“Your device is impressive,” Thorny said. “If you use it upon Dis, we shall not hesitate to unleash similar forces. There are those who can easily match your powers and exceed—”
“LIKE BUER? IS HE IN? CAN DIRE TALK TO HIM?” I held up a
crumpled pop can that I’d made to look identical to the one on his dead descendant’s crown. “SHE’S GOT THIS TO GIVE BACK TO THE GUY.”
Thorny looked away from the point of view, and The Cat nodded at me, studying the back of one paw. “He is now panicked and wondering how much you know.”
The puzzle pieces I’d been grasping at fell into place, one by one. “ALL OF IT, YOU LITTLE GRAY BASTARD. SHE KNOWS ALL OF IT. SHE KNOWS THAT YOU’RE THE ONE BEHIND HER TROUBLES IN CAYM AND THAT YOU ALERTED BUER TO WHAT SHE’D DONE.” I half rose from the throne. “YOU WERE ALSO THE ONES THAT SHUTTLED PAGLIACCI AND PUNCHING JUDY TO WROTH, WERE YOU NOT?”
He looked back at me, red eyes narrowed. “OH DON’T BOTHER, IT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE. JUDY DOESN’T REMEMBER HOW SHE GOT THERE, BUT IT HAPPENED RECENTLY, ABOUT THE SAME TIME-FRAME AS PAGLIACCI. SOMEONE WHO KNEW ABOUT CAYM PULLED STRINGS TO GET THEM THERE. WROTH WAS A LITTLE COW TOWN, WHAT WERE THE ODDS THAT DIRE RUNS ACROSS ONE OF THE FEW DEAD METAHUMANS THAT COULD CAUSE HER SERIOUS TROUBLE?”
I stood, shaking my fist. “THEN ANOTHER METAHUMAN, AMERICAN PARAGON, TURNS UP AND WHERE DID HE COME FROM? DIS.” I shook my finger at the screen. “ALL ROADS LEAD BACK TO YOU, MOTHERFUCKERS. EVEN DIRE’S ROMANS AGREE ON THAT.”
I leaned in against the table, glaring into the projection, watching him sweat. “SO THIS IS DIRE, OFFERING YOU ONE LAST CHANCE TO GET OUT OF THE WAY, BEFORE SHE STARTS THE ASSAULT. SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO DECLARE VENDETTA UPON YOU AND BEAT YOU TO A BLOODY IRON PULP. BUT SHE IS MERCIFUL, EVEN TO HER FOES, AND OFFERS YOU ONE LAST CHANCE TO REPENT. EVEN THOUGH SHE REALLY, REALLY HOPES YOU DON’T.”
“How did you know?” he burst out, eyes wide and teeth pointy and yellow. “How did you even know we were after you!”
“SHE DIDN’T, NOT FOR SURE.” I told him. “NOT UNTIL YOU CONFIRMED IT JUST NOW.”
I watched his face slowly turn purple, and gods, did it feel good to be on the other side of that line for once. “JUST BACK DOWN, OR GET OUT OF THE WAY.”
Grimly, he shook his head. In the distance, from the Lurkcrystal, I heard reverberating explosions.
“Incoming,” Alpha reported. “Cannonballs the size of houses.”
“REALLY? REALLY?” I spread my arms. “SO BE IT. ENGAGE THE VANGUARD.”
Thorny smirked. His smile died as he looked around.
“WHAT? YOU WERE EXPECTING HER TO HIT THE CITY WITH A MASSIVE GRAVITON BLAST? YOU HAD SOMETHING LINED UP TO COUNTER THAT? FOOL, WHY DO YOU THINK DIRE SHOWED YOU THAT?”
“What did you do, woman?” He roared as his command center shook.
“First wall’s down,” Alpha reported. “Also our shields are holding strong against their fire.
“WHAT DID DIRE DO?” I grinned under my mask. “SHE DISTRACTED YOU FOR THE FEW MINUTES IT TOOK FOR HER HARDSUITED STEALTH TROOPS TO GET INTO POSITION. CHECKMATE IN FOUR, THORNY. THANKS FOR PLAYING. GEE GEE.”
I waved at First Worm, and he killed the connection.
“Actually, Gee Gee is what the losing side says after the game,” Delta corrected.
“OH? WELL, SHIT. HOPEFULLY HE DOESN’T KNOW THAT. IN ANY CASE HE SHOULD BE TOO BUSY TO CARE. LET’S GO TO BATTLESTATIONS AND GO BACK UP OUR PEOPLE.”
We piled back onto the bridge and got things rolling.
A couple of years back, when I was working with friends rather than minions and teammates, I made a few of them hardsuits. They were basically foolproof power armor that didn’t have the complicated interfaces and flexible options that my suits were configured with. Hardsuits provided seriously good armored protection, amplified the user’s strength and speed, and gave them night sight, flare compensation, and a bunch of other things that required absolutely zero piloting skills or technological know-how to operate.
The training game that Gamma had whipped up showed them how to pilot the things, and my Romans and Axumites and other ancient peoples took to them like addicts to meth. Well, that was doing them a disservice, really. More like highly-trained, brave and stubborn warriors to armor that made them walking demigods.
Armor and weapons. For those who couldn’t wrap their skills around guns, I gave vibroblades, shockspears, and energy shields. To those who could handle guns, I gave plasma rifles.
Which was why I hadn’t deployed the gravity cannons on the Direnaut. I could have, mind you, but it would have taken the broadcast power I was beaming out to the suits, using the massive tower that was my mecha. We were in support mode and would be until they started taking significant casualties and fell back.
But I let them play, ordering us forward at a quarter speed, striding along the ground, cracking the road we followed with every step. They’d paved it with skulls; really, was it really a wonder the damned thing was fragile?
“Do you have any idea who that was, on the other end of the crystal?” Pagliacci asked.
“NOPE. AND SHE REALLY DOESN’T CARE.” I settled into my throne as cannonballs of a size not possible on Earth slammed into the shields I’d built for the Direnaut and were deflected safely away. “IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS THAT SOMEONE WAS MOVING BEHIND THE SCENES. THE MAKEUP OF HELL PRETTY MUCH SCREAMS OUT FOR SHADOWY PUPPETEERS.”
Great Clown Pagliacci considered my words. “I do not know if I see it.”
“WEREN’T YOU THE ONE BOASTING OF HOW YOU HAD UNRAVELED THE SECRET OF HELL?”
“Oh, I have, but it doesn’t involve the demons or how they tend to their affairs.”
“THEN PERHAPS YOU DON’T HAVE THE FULL SECRET.”
That shut him up, and his painted eyelids drooped as he squinted at me,. He smoothed his goatee with one hand and smiled. “Perhaps not. But I have the most important part.”
“AT ANY RATE, THE FACT THAT DIS WAS THE GREATEST AND ONLY CITY NOT CLAIMED BY ANY DEMON LORDS SEALED THAT THEORY. WHY IS DIS FREE? BECAUSE DIS IS ACTIVELY TRYING TO STAY FREE. THUS, EVERYTHING ELSE AROUND IT WAS DUE TO REALPOLITIK AND KAYFABE.”
“Kayfabe?”
I ignored him for a minute, checking on my troops. They’d advanced through the first wall with minimal casualties. They’d taken to their training well, falling back towards the rally points as they got badly wounded. I flicked a finger, sent repair drones out to tend to their armor. I had roughly five hundred fighters in the field, fighters who could heal any wound to their flesh in time. They didn’t need food; they didn’t need water; they didn’t need sleep.
They needed vengeance, and I was giving it to them. They needed power, to regain control, to feel like their lives were their own to decide, for a change.
Even in Hell, especially in Hell, humans wanted this.
I smiled to see the miniature suits still out in the field. Khalid’s children had volunteered to the last for this duty. They’d been here for centuries, or more, since time flowed slowly down here. They were not children anymore, after what they had seen and been through. To them, this power was something they’d never thought to have.
I didn’t know what I could do for them once this was all over, but for the minute, at least, I could make it beautiful.
“WHEN IS A CHILD SOLDIER NOT A CHILD SOLDIER,” I muttered.
“Still thinking in Creation’s terms? Tsk.” Pagliacci clicked his tongue.
I ignored him because we were breaching the wall at this point and because he was a dick. The Direnaut knelt, ignoring the arrow and musket fire from the sides and extended its hands to the wounded and disabled. One by one I scooped them into the boarding chambers, for repair or decanting, depending on how much damage they’d taken.
There weren’t many. I looked at the converging hordes of demons sweeping out of doors and gates in the metal walls, charging down the bone-paved streets. They waved iron weapons of all shapes and sizes, pulling fire from the air, throwing balls of poison and lightning.
I pitied them.
My thin gray line of hardsuited warriors stood against them. And they would not stand alone.
I gave the command, and the anti-personnel weapons extended from the Direnaut’s gauntlets. The
robot straightened up, its precious payload returned, and I rained down steel and plasma upon the charging hordes.
Then came a mighty groan, the sound of earth rending. I looked to see the walls closest to us stretching and rearranging, extruding girders like crystals in slow motion, reaching out to us.
“HELL NO!” I roared, and slapped the AR controls, swiping icons out of the air. “THAT’S GEOMANCY, RIGHT?”
“Y-yes,” First Worm confirmed, shuddering in his chair.
“GET HER A READ ON WHERE THAT’S COMING FROM. WE’LL NUKE THEIR COMMAND CENTER. IN THE MEANTIME...”
I moved to stand over our troops, pulled down the forcefield, punched up the gravitic shear. “...LET’S MAKE SOME PANCAKES.”
I had a pretty good view from the drone overhead. Of the walls sliding on the rock they were built upon, as if the soil was liquid, and the stone an oily slick. Of how they closed upon us, sealing the metal away, grinding toward us to crush my mecha, my army, and a sizeable amount of their own forces, too.
And then, in a heartbeat, the walls nearest us ripped free of the soil. Like Hercules defeating Antaeus, I knew the solution was to remove them from the ground. Without the medium for their demon powers to travel through, they couldn’t reshape and move the iron walls around.
Gesturing my commands with maximum contempt, I had the Direnaut hurl the walls up, over, and into another section of Dis. How many I had killed I could not say, but when I lowered my arms and the gravitic shear spun down, the walls remaining around us were still. The hellion armies fled, shredded by my troops and the occasional burst of supporting fire from the Direnaut, and crushed by their own fortifications; they had no stomach left for the battle.
It couldn’t be this easy, I thought.
It wasn’t.
Three minutes later, we hit our first metahuman.
Something like an invisible blast went through our hardsuits, pretty much a straight line of force, sending the first ranks scattering. I watched them scatter apart, checked the data, found them mostly undamaged.
“I’m watching the video feed slowed down by a factor of twenty,” Gamma reported. “it’s a speedster. Some sort of darkness thing on his face.”
DIRE : HELL (The Dire Saga Book 6) Page 27
