by Lex Thomas
A Geek reached in and slapped David on the shoulder, hooted, and ran on. Will’s eyes stayed locked on Lucy.
“The pregnancy didn’t take,” she said.
Will shook his head. “What are you talking about? Belinda said …”
“I lost it, Will. There was a baby, there was, and it was ours, and I tried to keep it safe but—” Lucy shuddered. “It’s gone.”
Will opened his mouth to speak, but stopped short. He didn’t move. Like a VHS tape on pause—he was frozen, but still fidgeting. He stared at the ground. Through the ground. Lucy looked to David in a panic. He had no idea what to do either. He was afraid anything he said would set Will off. He wanted to tell him it would be all right. That this happens to couples a lot in the real world. That life goes on, and the important thing was that the three of them had survived. But he feared that Will would twist even those comforting words into malicious attempts to rub salt in his wounds.
“It’s going to be okay,” David said anyway. He couldn’t not.
“WOOO HOO!” a Skater cried out as he raced past them.
Lucy went in for a hug, but not with all her heart like she’d hugged David. This was more tentative, like she feared Will was about to sprout thorns. He shook her off, and she backed away.
“You told him?” Will said, pointing at David. “He already knew?”
Lucy looked to David for the right answer.
“Will … yes, it was the first thing I asked her about. Just like you did. It’s not some conspiracy—”
“No,” Will said, sarcastic and vicious. “Of course not. Where would I get that idea? You two can barely keep your hands off each other. I guess this is the best thing that could’a happened, huh, Dave?”
“Will!” Lucy said.
“Choose,” he said to Lucy. “You have to choose, right now. Is it him or me?”
Lucy gasped.
“Will, come on,” David said.
“Shut up, David,” Will said without looking at him. Will’s eyes were locked on Lucy’s. She couldn’t look at him. Her eyes danced around, but she kept glancing at David.
“I should have known, right?” Will shouted. “Nothing ever changes.”
“Will, don’t say that,” Lucy said.
“Then tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you love me and not David. And don’t lie. Don’t you dare lie to me now.”
“I don’t want to lie to you,” Lucy said.
“So don’t,” Will said. His voice cracked as he said it, and his face flickered with anger right afterward, like he was mad at his throat for betraying him.
“We had our time, and it was good,” Lucy said.
“Oh my God,” Will said.
“It’s not like those feelings weren’t real—”
“Fuck you both,” Will said.
“Will!” David cried.
Will stormed off. Lucy started crying. Will was cruising across the farm, straight for the front gate of the tractor-trailer wall.
“Stay here,” David said.
David ran and caught up with Will, twenty feet from the exit. He tried to grab Will’s arm, but Will threw him off.
“Come on, will you grow up?” David said.
Will stopped and faced him. “Go ahead. Take her. Take the glory, it’s all for you, David.”
“Nobody’s out to get you, Will. Least of all me.”
Will laughed, but it was short-lived, like a flower that wilted as it bloomed. His cheeks slackened, his eyes dulled. His stare became absent of feeling.
“I liked it better when you were dead,” Will said.
Will walked to the exit, and David didn’t stop him.
26
WILL HATED EVERYTHING. DAVID AND LUCY, McKinley, the virus, the world.
The motorcycle he was riding was the only exception, because it was getting him out of Pale Ridge. He’d found it in the garage of an old couple who had lived down the street from him. It was exactly the kind of bike you’d expect an old person to ride—a bulky, maroon Honda Gold Wing with tons of storage compartments and room for two. To fill it, Will had siphoned gas out of a wrecked Subaru that had been wrapped around a tree. A motorcycle seemed perfect. It was the last thing David would want him to ride. His last motorcycle ride through the quad had made Lucy turn up her nose. Good. They could both go to hell. He cruised through the husk of Pale Ridge, and got used to how the hulking cycle turned. Before this, he’d only ridden a motorcycle in a straight line.
The more he saw of his dead town, the faster he wanted out of it. He goosed the gas. Somewhere out there, far away, was a place where no one knew him, where no one knew that David was his brother; and where no one loved him, and where no one who could take their love away.
Now Leaving Pale Ridge, Colorado. Come back soon.
The sign zipped past, and Will pulled onto the two-lane interstate that extended ahead of him for miles. Heavy green forests crowded the road on both sides, and the asphalt was littered with leaves and twigs and debris like it hadn’t been driven on for a while. Will poured on the gas and zoomed down the road.
Lucy had loved him once. He hadn’t imagined it. Her love had felt so real to him. It had kept him going, kept him fighting, through everything he’d faced. Lucy’s love had given him a reason to act right, it let him believe that he could be a man. But he didn’t realize that her love had been provisional. She loved him, but only as long as David was dead.
Will accelerated. The trees whipped past.
He felt like a fool. He’d walked David right to her, not thinking that would tempt her. He’d assumed she’d want the same thing he did. God, it was laughable now. Dreaming about being the father of her child. He’d conjured the boy so clearly in his mind. He was like Will, but before he’d made any mistakes. Will was going to make sure the kid never messed up like he did. Those desires were the purest emotions he could remember experiencing. And he supposed they were real, and they were warranted, because at one point the baby had been alive. The sadness of it hollowed him. It ate at his insides.
Your baby is dead. Your baby is dead. Your baby is dead.
Will cranked the throttle, and felt the handlebars try to pull out of his hands. He hunkered down and gripped the bar harder, and clamped down on the rumbling beast with his thighs.
There had to be a way to blame it all on David, and he wanted to find it. The anger was there, but Will couldn’t find the logic to support it. David had taken Lucy away, he tried to tell himself. But he hadn’t. Lucy was the one who had turned her back on him. He knew he shouldn’t have said what he had said to David. His brother had done nothing to harm him. But that was just the thing, David didn’t have to do anything. Just as it had been for Will’s whole life. All David had to do was walk into a room, and Will ceased to matter.
Will cranked the throttle, and the motor yelled. The forest was a blur of green in his periphery. The bike shook. Bugs pelted his face shield.
What a piece of shit Will was. A loser and a sore one. What had he accomplished by storming off? Did he really think it would change Lucy’s mind to see him have a hissy fit? If anything, his behavior had probably done away with any doubt she might’ve had. All he’d done was cement her decision. He felt like a hurt little boy running away from home because he just got spanked. He wondered if—
Oh no.
Will felt a familiar sensation. A wrongness.
His brain became a vacuum, no thoughts, no words, no firm ground to stand on. He felt the bike fall away from him, even though it was still there. His eyes rolled back in his head, against his will. Then they jerked to the right, then left, and the last thing Will was aware of was the wobble of the motorcycle against his crotch, before the world disappeared.
He was tangled in a bush on the side of the road. There was pain in his head, all through his body. His brain spun. Dizzy and nauseous. His gas mask was intact. His faceless motorcycle helmet was still on over it. He looked down at his body and found everything still attached and bending in the correct
directions. He’d gotten lucky.
David was right, Will shouldn’t ride motorcycles. He shouldn’t ride a bicycle. And he should have never skipped a day of taking his pills. Not enough food and water had undoubtedly made it worse. He’d been seizure-free for so long that he’d forgotten how easily his epilepsy could bitch-slap him, especially when he got himself worked up.
He was always trying to forget that he was epileptic, and prove that he didn’t need anyone, but he did need someone. He’d always need someone.
Will kicked his leg free of the bush and planted it on the ground. Everything hurt. He wondered if he would ever learn. Would he always push people away when they tried to help? Would he always repel girls once they found out how much help he really needed, and realized that his tough act was just a desperate charade?
Will heard an approaching engine. He craned his neck to peer down the road, and he saw a giant white vehicle driving his way. It looked like a cross between a garbage truck and a double-decker bus. The windshield was black and he couldn’t see through it, but the rest of the thing was painted glossy white. A giant red cross was painted on the front. The vehicle came to a stop thirty feet down the road from him, with a hiss from its air brakes.
A gentle female voice called out from the speaker on the roof.
“Are you infected?”
Will shook his aching head, and pointed to his gas mask.
A door opened on the side of the vehicle, and out walked three adults in white haz-mat suits. They approached Will, and when they got a few yards from him one of them raised a hand. It held a gray device that looked like a large garage door opener. With the click of a button the device fired a dart.
Will felt a sting in his leg, and looked down to see the dart protruding from his thigh. Its tail had a blinking blue diode.
“Virus-free,” one of them said.
“Who are you?” Will said.
“We work for the government.”
“You’re military?” Will said. His stomach lurched.
“No,” one of them said. “We’re here to administer the cure.”
27
LUCY WANTED TO SEE DAVID BY THE GOALPost. That was what Mort had told him, and David headed there right away. The parents and the infected were getting along just fine now. Some kids had left right away, to head for their families’ houses, but many had stayed. The parents were tending to the kids like they’d been wishing they could do for two years, and the McKinley kids were soaking up the attention, regardless of whether it was from their own parents or not. Sam’s dad seemed to have accepted the situation. He was showing some Freaks how to milk a cow, and do other things to help around the farm.
With the afternoon sun on his back, David walked behind the school to the football field. He looked for Lucy at the goalposts. One of them had been knocked down at some point, and the other goalpost was still standing, but he didn’t see her by either. Then he heard a whistle.
There she was. Beyond the goalpost, Lucy stood on top of the farm wall. An extended aluminum construction ladder leaned against the top edge of the trailer wall, right by her feet. He didn’t know why, but his heartbeat was beginning to hurry. He trotted over and stopped at the bottom of the ladder.
“What are you doing up there?” David said.
“Come up.”
“What’s up there?”
“Just come.”
David did as she asked. When he stepped up onto the top of the trailer wall, Lucy pointed to the town side. He saw a station wagon parked just next to the wall, in the tall grass outside the farm. The back was stuffed with clothes, water, and supplies. She jingled a set of keys in her hand.
“Come with me,” she said.
“Where?” he blurted, caught off guard.
“Anywhere else.”
“I don’t know,” he said, but she ignored him and tugged on his arm.
“Let’s leave. Just the two of us. This is all on the parents now. Let’s get out of here. I trust you, David, I don’t trust anyone else. We can be happy. I’ve got two full scuba tanks in that car. That oughta get us far enough until we can find something else for you. We can take care of each other, and that can be enough. Just come. I know it’s not the brave thing to do. But I have to get away from here. I never want to see this place again. Please, just come with me. Let’s find some peace somewhere.”
He wanted to. It sounded great to leave it all behind, but he felt guilt creeping up.
“Didn’t I put them in this situation though?” he said.
“No. The virus did! Adults did. It’s not your responsibility. Stop being such a good person for once, you dick. Let it be me and you. It can just be me and you.…”
She was in tears by the time she finished. He wiped her tears. She wanted to sit down, so they sat, and she wanted him to hold her, so he did. Before long they were lying on their backs, watching lazy clouds mosey across the sky. Time blurred. Reality became nothing but his arm around her, his hand clutched in hers, and the warmth that radiated from her body. He wasn’t sure how long they lay there. He didn’t know what to do, what to tell her, and he wasn’t talking. Neither was she. It was as if neither of them wanted to speak for fear that the conversation could lead to them losing each other, and this feeling along with it. He wanted to get in the car with her and disappear. He did. But … Will.
“I just need to check for Will one more time. He might’ve come back,” David said, breaking the extended silence.
“And then we’ll go?”
David brushed her hair out of her face, but he didn’t respond. He wanted to tell her yes, but his mouth wouldn’t move.
“I’ll wait for thirty minutes,” Lucy said, “then I’m going.”
The directness of her stare was serious. She would go. He believed her. It scared him, but it made him respect her more.
“See you soon,” he said, and he touched the softness of her cheek.
“I hope so.”
He hugged her. He tried to keep his demeanor light and positive, because Lucy wasn’t smiling at all. He descended the ladder quickly, eager to be able to face the school and not see her sad eyes anymore.
David trudged back toward the school, knowing that if Will didn’t return in the next thirty minutes, he would have a hard time choosing to leave. He might lose Lucy if he stayed. He might lose them both if he stayed. If he left with her, Will would never forgive him, but Will might not forgive him if he returned either. When had Will ever forgiven him for anything?
He heard the noise of all the students as he rounded the side of the school. They were cheering. David sped up to see what the celebration was about.
All of the McKinley kids were lined up in a tight formation, like they were about to do group calisthenics. There was a massive white vehicle unlike any he’d ever seen, with a red cross on it, and a group of adults in white haz-mat suits lined up in front of it, holding long white hoses that came off its roof. The hoses ended in spray guns. Standing beside the adults in the white haz-mat suits was Will in tattered clothes and wearing a gas mask. David was puzzled. Will stood on crutches, and he wore some sort of neck brace, but his shoulders were back, and he held his chin high. He was so far away that it was hard to tell, but he appeared to be smiling.
Pride puffed Will’s chest. He looked over at the parents, practically bursting at the seams in anticipation. He saw mothers crying. He gazed at the faces of the kids waiting to be cured. A lot of them still munched the provisions the government people had handed out. He looked at Bobby’s blacked-out head, and Bobby grinned back at him. None of the conflict between them mattered anymore. Will had made it all better. Will wondered what kind of life Bobby would have after this, with what he’d done to himself. But the same question applied to all of them. Bobby’s change was skin-deep, but Will knew that everyone had been changed on the inside by their time in McKinley. How permanent were those changes? he wondered. Was everyone stronger because of them, or were they damaged goods? Could any of them ev
er get back to who they were before the school blew up?
Probably not.
Once his mother had passed away, Will had realized, you can never go back in life. You can only reminisce.
Still, the mood in the air was buoyant. He saw P-Nut hopping in place, unable to contain his excitement. He saw Zachary dancing gracefully with a smile on his face. He saw Ritchie, and Mort, and Colin, standing together in the back, instead of with their gangs, Loners once more. He hadn’t spotted Lucy yet, but the crowd was tremendous. It was nearly everyone. He’d see her soon enough.
One of the hose holders signaled back to the truck, and Will heard a low buzz. Pressurized, white fog sprayed out from the hoses in great plumes, and the men holding the spray guns angled them so that the fog shot over the heads of the entire crowd, then slowly settled onto them.
Will continued to search for Lucy in the crowd as McKinley kids danced in the descending fog, and held their hands up toward the sky. Where was she? He wanted her to know he wasn’t all bad. He wanted to see her joy as he took all of her problems away.
Something caught his eye in the distance. David stood by the side of the school. He raised his hand in the air, like he was reaching out to Will over all that distance, and Will raised his back. He wished he could communicate everything he felt through the way he raised his hand. He wanted his brother to know that he was sorry. That he didn’t mean it. He loved him and he always would, no matter what kind of fight they got into.
Thump.
Will turned backed to the crowd to see P-Nut lying on his stomach, a thick froth of black blood gushing from his mouth.
Thump-thump-th-thump. Kids went limp and crumpled to the ground like rag dolls, spraying black blood and glops of tissue from their mouths as they fell. Black blood arced through the air. Mouths became geysers. Bodies piled onto bodies. Other students fled. He saw them shoot a kid with the same blinking blue dart they’d hit Will with, then the diode turned red and the kid coughed black sludge and dropped.
