Gingerbread Man

by Maggie Shayne

  She looked. Vince! He stood off to the left, poking his head out of the wall of jungle, which opened around him like a curtain.

  She started toward him.

  The monster came closer.

  She ran, but her feet were stuck. She tried to pull them free and they wouldn't move. "Vince!" She reached out a hand, and he did, too, but she couldn't make it. Then the monster was breathing hotly right down the back of her neck. She peeled Ivy off her, pushed her toward Vince. "Save her, O'Mally!"

  Then the monster grabbed her from behind. She spun to face it, opened her eyes, and stared straight up at it. But it didn't have a face. No head. Just eyes. Icy blue eyes. And then she screamed.

  Hands held her shoulders, hard and firm, shaking her a little. "C'mon, Red, wake up, dammit. Come on, open your eyes. Look at me."

  She did.

  Vince gazed down at her. His hair was all feathery and sticking up at odd angles, and he was dressed very strangely. And yet, he had her. He had hold of her, and that was really above and beyond any concerns about the odd turn her dream seemed to have taken. Her heart was pounding so hard her entire body shuddered with it. She snapped her arms around his waist and pulled him to her, hanging on for dear life.

  He grunted, went stiff as his upper body slammed down on top of her chest. But then he softened. "All right, it's all right now. Easy." He slid his arms around and beneath her, rolling over, taking her with him. When he settled, he was lying on his back in the bed—Bed? What were they doing in a bed?—and she was curled close to him, her head on his shoulder, face near his neck. He stroked her hair, and she liked it. "It was only a dream," he murmured.

  "It was Ivy," she whispered. "She was alive, and there was a monster chasing us...."

  "It's all right now."

  "You were there. But I couldn't reach you. And then he grabbed me and—"

  "Holly, it was a dream. You understand? Hmm?" He lifted her chin so he could look her in the eyes.

  She blinked away tears. "It was so real."

  "I know. They get that way. Is this one you've had before?"

  She nodded, the motion jerky. "Yeah. I mean, not exactly. We're not usually in the woods. But the rest—the monster chasing us, me trying to save her—" She stopped there, stabbing her eyes into his. "But, he didn't get her this time. Vince, he didn't get her this time. He got me, but—but not her."

  Vince curled his hand around her nape, eased her back down onto his chest. "It's survivor's guilt, Holly. I've seen it before."

  "I know it's survivor's guilt. I spent years in therapy trying to deal with it. This wasn't that. This was something else."

  "Yeah? What, then?"

  She could hear his heart. It beat steadily against her ear. He was warm, and solid, and she relaxed against him. "It was you," she said. "It was because you were there. You saved Ivy."

  He sighed softly. "It was a dream. That's all."

  "I think it was more."

  He tensed a little bit underneath her. "If it was more, it was the knock on the head you took earlier. Period."

  She thought he wouldn't like what she was thinking. Fine. She wouldn't explore it then. Not aloud, anyway. But she knew there was something going on here. Between them. Something important.

  "Vince, where are we?" She rolled over onto her back and looked around. The room was large, high ceilings with a bowl-shaped frosted glass light fixture hanging from the center. There were two tall windows, thickly draped, and it was still storming beyond them. "What is this place?"

  "It's Reginald D'Voe's house," he said. "You passed out before we made it this far."

  "And he took us in? I didn't think he ever let anyone past the front door unless they'd been invited."

  "I think we were in such sorry shape he probably didn't feel he had a choice."

  She turned toward him. "It's a big house."

  He nodded.

  "So whose idea was it to put us in the same bed together?"

  He shifted restlessly. "Mine. But don't make anything of it, Holly. I wanted to be close, in case the maniac tried again."

  "Oh. Good, I'm glad you're clear on that."

  He studied her eyes for a moment, looked decidedly uncomfortable. "I'm not trying to be mean."

  "So, it's effortless, then?"

  He closed his eyes. "It isn't you, okay?"

  "No? What is it then?"

  He rolled onto his back, his head slamming down on the pillow so hard she half expected feathers to fly out the sides. "It's me. It's my past, my history. Look, I told you, I just don't do relationships, all right? And I damn well don't want some wounded dove looking at me with big green eyes that see me as some kind of hero. 'Cause I'm not. I can't save anyone for you Holly. I can't bring your sister back for you, and I can't save you from your own inner demons. I couldn't save—"

  He stopped there. Broke off so suddenly it startled her, and then he was on his feet, striding across the room. She thought he was heading for the giant fake-fur-covered chaise lounge at first, but he seemed to change his mind, because he paced instead.

  ***

  “THE PRAGUE KIDS?" she asked. He didn't reply. "I never asked you to save anyone for me."

  "No. You dreamed it, instead."

  "I dreamed you saved Ivy. I didn't dream you pulling me out of the lake, or putting your mouth on mine and breathing into my lungs. I didn't dream you carrying me through the storm, or finding me shelter. I didn't dream you coming to my bed to keep me safe." She shrugged. "So sue me if I see you as slightly heroic."

  He stopped walking.

  "God, you have to know I get what you're feeling, Vince. How the hell can I not get it when I couldn't save my own kid sister?"

  She saw his face, in profile, saw his eyes fall closed in pain so stark she felt it to her bones.

  "Listen, Red, I don't do well with women like you. I know better, but they look at me with their need in their eyes, and I end up making promises I have no chance in hell of keeping."

  She frowned, tilting her head to one side.

  "Sara Prague looked at me like that. Someone stole her babies, and she begged me to tell her I could fix it. And I knew better. I knew better, and yet I did it anyway. I promised her it would be okay. I would make it okay. I'd get her kids back."

  "You were only trying to ease her suffering," she tried, knowing it was lame.

  "And, instead, I heightened it. See, that day in my office, I think she had already begun to accept that she'd lost them. I do. But I had to give her hope, and she latched on to it like a lifeline. My God, if you could have seen that woman's face when I had to tell her..."

  "I still don't see what this has to do with us."

  He glanced at her, barely hearing her, she thought, he was so involved in his own thoughts now. "And the kids. Those kids. But I can't tell you about that. No one should know about that."

  He was pacing faster now, agitated strides across the room, then back again. He paused to look out the window once, but she thought his eyes were only seeing the nightmare he had so recently lived.

  "I made another promise. To myself. I promised I'd get the son of a bitch vile enough to do—what he did. And I can't let myself get sidetracked." He looked back at her. "Not even by you, Red."

  Holly couldn't stay away from him any longer. She climbed out of bed and went to him, but didn't touch him. Just stood close, looking up at him. "I want to catch him, too. So how could I sidetrack you?"

  "Because you have problems, Red, and because deep down I'm fighting hard against the urge to tell you I'll make them better. To step in and try to be the hero you need me to be. I'd fail if I tried. I've been down this road often enough to know that. And what's more, I'd lose sight of the main objective."

  She moved closer, took his hands. "And what else?"

  He swallowed hard. She saw his Adam's apple swell with the motion, and when he turned his eyes away, she thought he would refuse to answer. But instead he said, "If I don't let you need me, I don't risk letti
ng you down the way I did Sara Prague and her kids."

  She sighed softly, nodding. "Thank you, Vince. It means a lot to me that you told me the truth, finally."

  He looked at the floor, avoiding her eyes. "You needed to know. I can't play knight in shining armor to your damsel in distress, Red."

  "I know." She smiled sadly. "In your own way, O'Mally, you're as screwed up as I am."

  "I never said I wasn't. After what I saw in that house in Syracuse.... I don't know if I'm ever gonna get over that."

  She lifted her chin. "You may not. If you do, then maybe that's when you need to start questioning your mental state, because I don't think any caring, sane person could put something like that behind him."

  He sighed, relieved maybe, that she understood.

  She locked her eyes with his. "So you don't want me to need you. I can deal with that. But tell me this, Vince. Does that mean I can't want you?"

  THIRTEEN

  HOLLY STOOD CLOSE to him in the bedroom, and the storm was still raging. Outside... inside. Hell, he couldn't tell the difference anymore. He could smell the hint of pine and rain that still clung to her skin. And he knew better, dammit, but it didn't seem to matter. Her face tilted up toward his, and her eyes were storm-tossed lakes of phosphorous green, and he saw the need in them, despite her denial. But he also saw the desire. It blazed, green flames licking up at him, burning him. All his arguments went silent. He knew he was about to make a huge mistake, but, hell, he was only human. He was out of willpower. He curled his hands around her upper arms, pulled her against him, and he kissed her. Her mouth was cool and wet, opening willingly against his. He let go of her arms, and they twisted around his neck, pulled tighter, closer. He slid his arms around her waist, just kept on kissing her. When her tongue touched his, his body caught fire. His heart hammered and his blood boiled and his head swam with images, vivid ones, of the two of them tangled and naked. Desire, carnal and blatant, jolted through him. It was centered in his chest, that surge, but zapping outward in all directions so forcefully he was sure he must have had sparks flying from his fingertips.

  He stopped. Just stopped, let go of her as if she were too hot to touch, took a backward step and felt himself shaking down deep. "Jesus."

  She lowered her head, but not before he'd seen the stunned confusion in her eyes. Followed quickly by the hurt. He had not expected this. Desire was one thing. He knew he was attracted to her, he'd expected desire. He'd felt desire out there in the woods, before, but there was more now. Way more.

  She shivered, rubbed her arms. She'd felt it, too.

  "Holly—"

  Her head snapped up, eyes alight. "Don't you dare tell me that was a mistake. Or that it can't go any further. Don't you dare, Vince."

  Before he could speak, there was a perfunctory tap on the door. It opened immediately, and Graycloud stepped in without waiting for an invitation. His sharp eyes danced from Holly to Vince and back again. Vince wondered what he was seeing. The two of them standing, facing each other, looking shaken and stunned, and maybe flushed and aroused, too. Holly did, at least. He hoped he hid what he was feeling a little better than she.

  "Oh, she is awake. I thought I heard her," Amanda said from behind the doctor. "Holly, you shouldn't be up on your feet. Not so soon."

  "I'm fine," Holly said, but her gaze was still riveted to Vince's, and he saw the threat there. It was almost laughable that he could feel threatened by a woman her size, but he did. She meant to do him in. She wasn't going to take no for an answer, and he seriously doubted he'd be able to give it more than once or twice anyway. It was coming. It was inevitable, that's what those eyes said. Whatever it was that had just happened here, she wanted more of it.

  Hell, he did, too.

  "I'll be the judge of how fine you are," Graycloud said. "Into bed with you, Holly. Come on now."

  She glanced at the doctor, sighed her surrender, and returned to the bed. As she got in Vince wondered what insanity had made him think even for a minute that he could curl up in a big soft bed with her—or a big pile of icy wet leaves, for that matter—and keep his hands to himself. She was too much. Screwed up enough to push all his buttons. The woman was damaged, and for good reason. He had a weakness for wounded women, and this one was wounded enough to kill him. He'd known that up front. Thought he could handle it. Then she'd gone and revealed there was more to her than the old wounds, the history, the baggage. Everything in him had resisted her far more easily before she'd decided to stand up and fight. From that moment on, he hadn't stood a chance.

  Graycloud was leaning over her now, fingers on her wrist while she held a thermometer in her mouth. An old-fashioned model. No digital electronic stick for Doc Graycloud. The wind howled outside, lashing the house as if trying to break in. Vince wondered if the old actor was awake, listening to it and reliving his glory days.

  A soft hand cupped his shoulder. "She's going to be just fine, you know. Holly is a very strong woman."

  He glanced sideways at Amanda, saw her blue eyes on Dr. Graycloud and Holly. "I thought you two didn't know each other very well," Vince said.

  "We've lived in the same small town for almost two years, Detective. We may not be intimate friends, but it would be impossible not to know a little bit about each other." She sighed, watching Dr. Graycloud remove the thermometer from Holly's mouth, and squint at its numbers. "I've always wished I were more like her. Strong, self-assured."

  It occurred to him that if obsessive-compulsive, panic-attack prone Holly seemed like a pillar of stability to her, Amanda must be a virtual basket case. But that wasn't fair and he knew it. Besides, this was no time to be reminding himself of all the reasons he should avoid Holly Newman like the plague. He could do that later. This was an opportunity to gather information.

  "It's a shame everyone in town doesn't agree with you," he said, dragging his gaze off Holly and fixing it on Amanda to watch her face, gauge her reactions.

  She frowned at him. "What do you mean? Everyone loves Holly."

  Was there a hint of resentment in her tone just then? Maybe... maybe just a little. "Not everyone," he said. "The person who put the light out last night so we couldn't find our way back, for example."

  She looked shocked by his words. "You really think someone would do that deliberately?"

  "I think there have been a few too many coincidences lately for them to be considered coincidences at all."

  "Such as?"

  "Someone snooping in my cabin. Someone in Holly's house while her mother was asleep."

  Her eyes widened. "You think it's someone from Dilmun?"

  "I've been checking around. The tourists have all gone home except for a couple of fishermen who've been coming here for twenty years. There are no strangers in town that anyone seems aware of. Other than me, that is."

  "And you have no idea who it could be?"

  "Nope. How about you?"

  Her head came up fast, eyes snapping to his. "Goodness, no. What makes you think I'd know anything about it?"

  He only shrugged. "You live here. If she has any enemies, I figured you'd know about it."

  "She doesn't. Most people in this town would gladly throw themselves into the path of a speeding train for Holly Newman."

  This time the emotion in the words was too obvious to ignore. "That almost sounds as if you're a little envious, Amanda."

  She shook her head. “I have Reggie. He's all I need."

  "Is he?" She looked at him, saying nothing. "You seem... lonely, to me."

  Her gaze rose, even though her head stayed lowered, soft brown hair veiling her face. "Do I?" He didn't reply. She sighed. "I'm not. Not really. I don't like people. I prefer to be alone. Truly."

  "Why is that, Amanda?"

  She stared at him, but she didn't answer. Instead she turned toward the door. "Call me if you need anything." Then she left.

  He watched her until she was out of sight, then glanced back at the bed. Holly looked away fast. Her jaw was tight, her
lips pressed hard together, and her eyes angry... and maybe the tiniest bit jealous.

  ***

  SHE DIDN'T KNOW why she was letting herself go from disliking the man intensely to burning up for him, but she had. All in the space of a single night, though she knew damned well it had been going on far longer. From that first day, in fact

  She hadn't ever been this powerfully attracted to a man before. She didn't know if there was anything real to it or not, despite her persistent sense that there must be. She supposed it might be tied, somehow, to her psyche, and the bombs that had been going off within it for the past several days. He was connected to all of that. Maybe that was the basis for the attraction.

  No. No, it was more.

  It didn't matter. The cause, that is. What mattered was that for a very long time, she'd been fairly certain she would never feel the way he made her feel. He might be her only chance at knowing that kind of passion.

  But all of that was beside the point. The main point was staying alive, being safe, keeping her mother safe, keeping all the children in the world safe from the predator who stalked them.

  Vince lay on the ridiculous chaise after Dr. Graycloud had pronounced Holly healthy and left them alone again. He hadn't said a word since the doctor had retired, and she hadn't either. The storm was growing more distant with every tick of the clock, and the sky beyond the window was beginning to pale. It would be dawn soon. She wanted to have sex with him. He knew that, she was fairly certain she'd made it abundantly clear. She wasn't going to beat the subject to death. Nor would she beg.

  "I think we need to tell my mother what's going on," she said. "I think she needs to know."

  He lay on his back, never turning to face her. "I think it would upset her for no good reason."

  "This person went after her, Vince. He was in the house while she was there."

  "If he'd been after her, he would've ... she was never a target." He altered the sentence for her benefit, she knew. "If he was in your house, he was messing with your head, Holly."