by S. D. Perry
“It is still here,” Itu said. “Just as the stars shifted, but did not shift. The reality is other.”
Dez didn’t understand, but it seemed to be all the explanation Itu meant to give. He had turned to Opaka again.
“Would you care to walk with me? Soon, the others will be waking, and we will be engaged in reestablishing an existence for ourselves…but I’d like to know about your world, and the Prophets. You’re all welcome, of course.”
Dez remembered what they were there for, and shook the amazement. There was business to be done. “Actually, I was hoping to explore your city, with some of my crew,” he said.
“Our homes are open to you,” Itu said.
Dez smiled. “Thank you, Itu.”
Jake, who’d been watching Itu and Opaka with an expression that Dez couldn’t read, cleared his throat.
“If it’s all right, I’d like to stay for a few moments,” he said. His face, usually so easy for Dez to read, was perfectly neutral.
“Sure, right,” Dez said. Of course Jake would want to stay, with his personal connection to the Bajoran religion…but Dez was disappointed, too. He wanted Jake with him, he wanted to explain about the last few weeks, why he’d kept so quiet.
He’ll understand, once he realizes what’s going to come of this, Dez reassured himself. The return of such an advanced species, one in which the members had actually been alive for fifty millennia, accompanied by an actual change in the Gamma Quadrant’s delineation…it was going to be huge, and the Even Odds was going to be right in the middle of it.
He nodded at Facity, and at the rest of the crew, and as Opaka and Itu turned and started to walk away, trailed after by Jake and Wex, the team turned and went in the opposite direction.
19
WALKING ALONG the silent, empty paths of the beautiful city, Jake listened to Itu and Opaka talk, but only half heard them, only just registered the grand, strange buildings that they were passing, that made up the Eav’oq’s capital city. He’d only asked to stay behind because he needed to be able to think for a moment, and what he was thinking about was the retrieval myth that Dez had told him, back on that day not so long after Drang, the day that Facity had made the bet about the Iconians.
He said that every GQ retriever who’d ever lived would trade a limb to get a line on one of the lost worlds, the Luw, the Eav-oq…with their vanishing crystals, that implanted information in the minds of those who touched them.
Jake still couldn’t believe that he hadn’t seen it himself, after listening to Tosk’s story…and Dez had known all along, of course. It was why he’d agreed to take Tosk and Opaka and Wex aboard—not because it was the right thing to do, or because Jake had asked, but because he was hoping for a payoff. He almost certainly had the team looking around right now, trying to decide on what they’d ask for as a reward. Which, in and of itself, Jake could understand, whether or not he liked it; the Even worked retrieval. What he couldn’t understand was why Dez had felt the need to keep it a secret.
You do understand, though. Think about it.
It required a minimum of thought. Jake also remembered how happy and relieved he’d been, the day that Dez had suggested that they skip the last Dominion salvages…and how happy that had made Dez.
It’s me. For whatever reason, since the very beginning, Dez has wanted to keep me on board. He’s been telling me what I want to hear, and keeping quiet about things he thinks I won’t like. Why, though? Why would he do all that?
Again, it hardly took any thought. It was because Dez liked him, and wanted Jake to like him in turn, to respect him. It was sweet and desperately immature…and it was so like Dez that Jake realized it could only be the truth.
“…and when I left, they had just begun to rebuild,” Opaka was saying. Jake looked around, saw that they had stopped near some kind of ornamental fountain. Wex was still intently listening to the two “Chosen” talk…and watching Opaka smile at Itu, her new spirit mate, thinking of how surprised Bajor was going to be, that the Prophets had a connection to another species, when Jake suddenly remembered the prophecy again. Now that Tosk was gone, Opaka would be coming with Jake and Fac back through the wormhole.
Tosk probably died just so she’d need a lift, Jake thought bitterly, not believing it but sourly sure of it, anyway. He was suddenly incredibly tired of the Prophets and Siblings and prophecies, he was tired of being used for reasons that no one could be bothered to explain. He wasn’t shocked that the Prophets didn’t care about his feelings, but he’d expected more from Dez.
Jake waited for a break in the conversation, and then excused himself, wanting to be alone for a few minutes. Itu and Opaka smiled benignly as he fumbled an apology, and then he was free.
He started back for the dropship, hoping it was still where they’d left it, that the city hadn’t “shifted” over it. He could see, though, as he walked through the shadows of the tall, curving buildings, that the chamber where they’d met Itu seemed to mark the easternmost edge. Beyond lay the familiar plain of algaed rock.
Jake was just stepping off the city’s last path, back onto the slippery rock, when Wex caught up to him.
“I hope you don’t mind if I walk with you,” Wex said. “I thought…I thought you might want the company.”
Jake did mind, but couldn’t see a polite way of saying so. He forced a smile. “I’m just going back to the dropship.”
Wex nodded, and said nothing. Jake supposed he should be happy about that much; with as much as Wex talked, it would be almost like being alone.
They started walking, the wet, rocky ground sloping gently upward. Jake hadn’t realized that they’d been walking downhill before, everything had been so gradual, but he felt it, now. It was a struggle to keep his balance…and it was a relief, to have something to do besides feel sorry for himself. He turned to help Wex over some of the more difficult spots, but she didn’t seem to need any help, her balance much better than his. They teetered on in silence for a moment, which Wex finally broke.
“You seem unhappy,” she said. “Is it…Tosk?”
Jake felt a flash of shame. Wrapped up in his own petty misery, he’d barely spared a thought for Tosk.
“Because I think he was…happy, at the end,” Wex went on. “I could see that he heard the Hunter’s words, that his death would be an honorable one.”
Jake nodded noncommittally, feeling some small measure of consolation. He hadn’t seen that, but he couldn’t think of any reason that Wex might have to lie about it. It was good to know.
“I thought I might take Opaka back to Bajor, in the Tosk vessel,” Wex said. “If you don’t think your crew will salvage it.”
Jake stopped walking for a beat, vaguely surprised. “You know how to pilot his ship?”
Wex nodded. “Well enough, I think. And I thought…you might choose to go with us. It would be crowded, but it’s not a long trip. Shorter now, it seems. I heard Prees tell the captain that we are now much closer to the Anomaly.”
That was so strange, he couldn’t even begin to consider it. Jake started walking again. Up ahead, he could see the bow of the Tosk’s ship peeking out from behind a rim of rocks. The dropship was still hidden.
Go with Wex and Opaka…yet another interpretation of the prophecy’s logistics, one that meant he wouldn’t be leaving with the Even’s crew. He was upset with Dez, he thought they had a serious problem to talk about, but did he really want to part company over it? No…and he couldn’t imagine not even trying to work it out.
“I don’t think so,” he said, and was about to say more when he heard a patter of wet footsteps behind them. He and Wex both turned, and there was Pif, panting, apparently running on three legs because he held what looked like a blue glass goblet in his front right hand.
“Hey,” Pif said, shooting a sidelong glance at Wex. “Good deal, I was going to have to come find you, pretty soon; Dez wants to get gone.”
“Why?” Jake asked.
Pif smiled nervously and
ignored the question. “Anyway, Dez was going to ask you, Wex, if you wanted the Tosk’s ship.”
“Where did you get that?” Jake asked, nodding at the goblet.
Pif glanced again at Wex, and again ignored Jake. “Everyone’s already at the ship, I think. I’ll meet you back there.”
Pif hurried past them. Even on three legs, he was remarkably fast, though Jake only saw that glint of blue glass, and what it meant…not just about Dez and what he’d done, but what it meant for him.
There was nothing to work out.
He stood watching the Aarruri hop away, waiting for it to hit—anger, or depression, or something stronger, something more than what he did feel…but there was only a kind of melancholy acceptance.
“Tell Opaka that we’ll be escorting her home in the Tosk ship, whenever she’s ready,” Jake said, turning to Wex. “I’ll be back in a little while.” For once, he was glad for her tacit nature. She nodded mutely, and left him.
Sighing, Jake continued to walk back to the ship.
Pif told Dez that Jake was on his way, so Dez was ready. The fourteen certainly priceless pieces they’d taken were already stored, back by the transporters…and though he suspected that Jake might be unhappy about it, Dez was prepared to have it out, to point out a few facts of life to his reluctant young friend.
It’s time he grows up a little, stops being such a child, Dez thought, watching as Jake crested the last hill. Dez walked out a little ways to meet him, he didn’t want to embarrass Jake in front of everyone…but as he stopped and waited, as Jake carefully stepped across the last few meters that separated them, he was struck by how grown Jake suddenly seemed to him. There was something in his face, or in the way he was walking…he didn’t seem like a child at all.
Jake stopped in front of him, looking evenly into Dez’s eyes. “I don’t guess I can talk you into putting it back,” he said mildly. “Whatever you’ve taken.”
Dez grinned, shaking his head. “Jake, you’ve got to understand. The run on this one is going to be short-lived. In another few months, they’ll probably be selling it themselves, the market will be flooded…but right now, this is a big opportunity for us. We found them, don’t you see?”
Jake only looked at him, an expression of vague sadness in his gaze. “I’ll take that as a no.”
Dez felt a stir of guilt, the way Jake was looking at him, irritation quickly taking its place.
“You honestly think they’d begrudge us a few dishes, a few urns?” he snapped. “You heard Itu. They’re grateful to us, Jake. And we didn’t take anything important, they probably won’t even miss it. It’s not like…”
He trailed off, realizing what he was doing. Realizing that he was trying to justify himself, to rationalize retrieving a handful of trifles, nothing the Eav’oq would care about but that would make the Even a tremendous lot of money. And once the story got out, how they were there when the stars changed and the Eav’oq appeared, how they had been responsible for making it happen, they’d be overrun with eager clients. Why wasn’t that reason enough for Jake?
“It’s our job,” he said, sighing. “This is what we do, Jake, it’s what we’ve always done.”
“I know,” Jake said, and smiled a little. “I do. But it’s not for me, Dez. Wex is going to take Opaka home in Tosk’s ship, and I’m going to go with them.”
Dez stared at him in disbelief. “Because of this?”
“No,” Jake said. “I just…I don’t belong on the Even.”
“Look, we can ask them for this, all right?” Dez said, feeling a kind of desperation settling around his heart. He’d worked so hard…and he’d felt so good, knowing that he was helping Jake out, that he was doing the right thing by him. He was such a naive kid, too, he needed someone to watch out for him. “I’ll talk to Itu myself, you can go with me.”
“That’s not it,” Jake said. “Think about it, Dez. I know you know why.”
“Don’t patronize me,” Dez snapped, angry, angry that he felt angry. “And you’re right, I do know why. It’s your father, you still want to go chasing after your perfect father. It’s a dream, don’t you get that? Do you really think that he’s going to drop whatever he’s doing to be with you, that he’s going to give up his life for you? Because let me tell you, it’s not going to happen. He’s a grown man, Jake, and it’s time you started to act like one, it’s time that you give up this absurd notion that it’s the two of you against the rest of existence.”
At Jake’s hurt expression, Dez felt his anger dwindle, felt an inkling of shame. He stepped closer to Jake, reaching out to touch his shoulder. Jake didn’t move.
“I’m trying to help you wake up, Jake. You don’t have to be what your father is, you don’t have to do what he does…and you don’t have to waste your time running after something that you can’t have. It’s time for you to make your own life.”
Jake stared at him a moment longer, his gaze again so careful, so hard to read…and then nodded. His voice, when he spoke, was calm and sure.
“That’s what I’m doing. I’m going back to a place I feel strong, where I have friends, and history…and family. You say you’re trying to help me, and in a lot of ways, you’ve been a good friend to me…but I’m awake, Dez. Whether or not my father ever returns, this is my life, my decision. And I’m leaving.”
Dez opened his mouth to tell him that he was wrong, that he was being ridiculous…and instead thought of how he’d felt about himself over the last weeks. How ridiculous he’d felt, not talking to the crew about business, and avoiding Jake. How guilty he’d felt, every time Jake brought up the idea of working charity. How ready he’d been only a minute ago, to tell Jake that he had to grow up, that he wasn’t going to pretend anymore.
So stop pretending.
He looked into Jake’s youthful eyes, and saw a universe of possibilities…and the assured, steady gaze of a capable young man who knew his own mind.
“We’re going to miss you,” Dez said, and though he felt his throat locking up, he managed a smile.
Dez and Jake talked for a minute or two, and hugged, and then talked for another minute. Standing next to Coamis and Brad, Pif stretched, cooling down from his second run into the city, watching as Dez called Facity over…and a second later, she was hugging Jake.
“What’s that all about,” Coamis asked, leaning against the ship.
“Maybe he found another Giani’aga box,” Pif said idly, and then grinned. “Hey, how much do you figure we’ll get for that black vase?”
Coamis shrugged, but was also smiling. “A lot.”
“Yeah, that was my estimate,” Pif said. Brad tittered her strangely deep giggle, seemed about to say something…and then Jake, Fac, and Dez were walking toward them, and from the look on the first officer’s face, Pif just knew that something was wrong.
“What is it? What happened?” Pif asked. At the alarm in his voice, Neane and Glessin, who’d been sitting together a half-dozen meters away, stood up and came to join them.
“Relax, Pif,” Jake said, smiling. “It’s, ah…I’m leaving, that’s all. I’m not going back with you.”
“What? Why!” Pif demanded, as the others shifted about in surprise.
“I’ve got things to do back home,” Jake said. “And honestly, I just don’t think I’m cut out for the retrieval business.”
“That’s crazy,” Pif said. “You’re great at it. Dez, tell him.”
“I think his mind is made up, Pif,” Dez said, and Jake nodded.
There was a brief, unhappy silence and then Glessin stepped forward, and bowed his head formally, a single, low nod. “It’s been a pleasure to know you,” he said. “I mean that very sincerely.”
“Thanks, Glessin,” Jake said, smiling. “I feel the same way.”
Before anyone else could speak, Brad promptly burst into tears.
“Hey, none of that,” Jake said, and Brad stumbled over to him, embracing him tightly as she wept. He was buried in her.
“I
will miss you,” she intoned, and Jake patted what he could reach of her back. After a moment she let go, sniffling mightily.
Neane only hugged him, and Coamis promised to say good-bye to the others on the ship for him, and then Jake was crouching down next to Pif, who still couldn’t believe it.
“Thanks for everything, Pif,” Jake said.
“You don’t really want to go,” Pif said, his brow furrowing. “I like you, Jake. I don’t want you to leave.”
Jake nodded. “I like you, too, Pif. I’m sorry. But you can come visit me any time you want…and whenever I’m in the Gamma Quadrant, I’ll stay in touch.”
“You won’t, though,” Pif said. “You’ll forget about us.”
“Never, Pif,” Jake said. “How could I forget you? You’re the fastest Aarruri I’ve ever met.”
“I’m the only Aarruri you’ve ever met,” Pif said moodily, but was glad Jake had said it, anyway. And he was fast.
“Hey, do me a favor…tell Feg and Triv that my closest friend back home is Nog, son of Rom. Can you remember that?”
Pif nodded, felt a slow grin building at the sparkle in Jake’s eyes. “They’re going to hate that, aren’t they?”
“Oh, yeah,” Jake confirmed with a wicked grin, and leaned forward to nuzzle his head against Pif. Pif laid his furry cheek against Jake’s smooth one for a second, then stepped back, deeply touched that Jake had remembered the Aarruri good-bye. The only person he’d ever said good-bye to in front of Jake had been Stessie.
There was another minute or two of conversation, Facity promising to beam down Jake’s things, Jake and Dez exchanging a few more private, obviously heartfelt words, and then it was over. The crew boarded the dropship, and Jake watched through the open door, smiling and waving, and then the door closed and he was gone.
As the ship lifted away, Dez’s face was carefully, stonily still…and though their hold was full of treasure, no one spoke or laughed. Pif wanted to break the silence, to lighten the mood…but while he could think of plenty to say, anecdotes to share, he didn’t really feel like talking.
