by Nicola Marsh
He brushed a fingertip down my cheek, making me want to cry.
I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
Turning away, I marched back toward the Beltane festivities, blinking back tears of betrayal.
While the Sorority had played down the banshee incident for my benefit, it had rattled them enough to call an emergency strategy meeting.
The Beltane festivities had barely wound down in the early afternoon and I was a mess, high from my first kiss, yet seething at Joss for the rest. I wasn’t in the mood for a how-do-we-defeat-Cadifor chat.
I knew a sure way to get this with over quickly. Have a vision. Since I couldn’t control when they popped up yet, I’d do the next best thing. Manufacture one with a crystal.
“You sure you’re up for this?”
I nodded at Mack, appreciating his concern. “It worked at school. Shouldn’t be a problem here.”
Maeve slipped an arm around my waist, squeezed. “You’re so brave.”
“Or stupid,” I quipped, earning a wry smile from Oscar.
Joss didn’t say a word. Disapproval radiated from him like a bad aura.
I clutched the chevron amethyst in my fist, eased into a chair in Uriel’s living room, closed my eyes, and tried to relax.
I focused on my breathing, keeping it deep and steady, visualizing white light and space—the opposite of that dark, dingy cave Cadifor dwelled in. I pressed the amethyst to my forehead, focused on the heat, the energy.
I startled when I was instantly sucked into the darkness.
Cadifor leans over a scrying bowl, filled to the brim with a thick, viscous crimson liquid. My attacker and my mom flank him.
“The blood does not lie. She is the one.”
He turns to my attacker. “Keenan. Give me her hair.”
Keenan slides a clump of my hair from a black silk bag and hands it over. Cadifor lays the strands in the liquid, where they float like gossamer gold. “Ah yes, there is no doubt. This Holly is the one.”
Mom stiffens, her pale face stark against her black robes.
Cadifor turns to her.
“What is it, my Elphame?”
“Nothing.”
Cadifor’s hand whips out from his draping sleeve so fast she flinches.
He grabs a fistful of hair and forces her head back.
“Do. Not. Lie. To. Me.”
Mom blinks.
She forces a smile, but the terror in her lying eyes is there all the same.
“Of course not, my lord. I’m merely surprised by your increasing strength. Your scrying skills get more powerful with every passing day.”
Ego appeased, he releases her.
“Pity I can’t say the same about your honesty.”
This time, his attack is more silent, more lethal than before.
He grabs her around the waist, hoists her up onto the altar, forcing her head toward the scrying bowl until her nose almost touches the blood-infused liquid.
She doesn’t cry out, but her fingers clutch the hard, unforgiving stone so hard her knuckles stand out, stark and white against the darkness.
“When I showed you the photo of the girl, you professed ignorance.”
His frigid voice would’ve frozen Lake Wolfe twice over.
Shoving her head closer, he yells so loud he could give a banshee baseball team a run for their money.
“Behold.”
He shoves her head closer to the liquid until her nose skims the surface and she clamps her lips shut, struggling to turn her head away.
“Now tell me you don’t know this girl.”
Despite her knuckles so prominent the bone almost split through skin, Mom didn’t flinch, didn’t hesitate.
“I didn’t recognize her. It has been sixteen years—”
“Liar!” he roars, shaking her so hard her teeth rattle. “A mother would know her own daughter.”
Mom’s ragged breathing, harsh and unnatural, is the only sound to pierce the eerie silence.
“I swear to you, my lord, I didn’t recognize her. She was a baby, six months old, I can’t remember.”
While her voice is steady, Keenan’s horrified expression in the background implies this won’t end well.
He shuffles his feet, darting furtive glances at the exits, ready to flee the wrath of a monster.
Though Cadifor’s face is hidden, the malice radiating off him sends a shudder through Mom and Keenan.
His fingers convulse on the back of Mom’s head.
“You will pay for this.”
Cadifor plunges Mom’s face into the blood and turns to Keenan, who takes a step back.
“Find the girl.”
His evil chuckles make Keenan step back again.
“Get Arwen.”
Mom starts flailing, her arms scrabbling at nothing, her legs jerking off the floor.
Cadifor laughs louder.
“Then kill her.”
I came to with a gasp, a silent scream ripping my throat.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“I need to find Arwen. Now!”
I leaped from my chair and started pacing.
Mack held up his hands. “Calm down and we’ll—”
“No. I will not calm down!” I jabbed a finger in his direction. Maeve and Oscar stared at me in open-mouthed shock. “I need to get to that cave and grab Arwen and confront this evil psycho before—”
Joss shot me a warning glare and I bit back the rest of what I was about to say.
Before it’s too late for my mom.
“Before?” Mack prompted.
“Before I go freaking nuts.”
I slumped back into the chair, defeated. This was my battle, mine alone. Even when Joss placed a comforting hand on my shoulder it didn’t help. I wanted to shrug it off, to tell him where he could stick his false protectiveness, but I was too shaken by my vision for bravado.
I didn’t love my mom—far from it. In fact, I hated her deep down inside for abandoning me. But I didn’t want her to die. Not like that. And not before I asked her why.
Why did you leave me?
Why have you stayed away?
And the biggie, Why the hell are you with a monster like him?
“He knows who I am. He thinks I have Arwen. He wants it. And he wants me dead.”
“We won’t let that happen.” Mack, as cool and unflappable as ever, sat at the table and beckoned us. “No point barging into a confrontation with Cadifor unprepared. Let’s sit, strategize.”
I respected him for not giving me the brushoff, for not placating me with some lousy meaningless words, but all the planning in the world wouldn’t save Mom if I was too late.
The stupid thing was, I had no idea if Cadifor was trying to teach her a lesson or if he did that kind of thing to her all the time. I’d already seen him shove her, and seen his henchman drag her into the cave by her hair. Maybe they played these twisted games all the time for kicks? My stomach rolled at the thought. I needed answers, and Mom was the only one who could provide them. I needed her alive.
As the others assembled at the table, I clutched Joss’s arm to hold him back. “He knows who I am and he’s killing Mom right now because of it. We have to do something.”
Joss motioned at the others. “Stop and think. If he has discovered the link between the two of you, there’s no chance he’ll kill her. He needs her alive more than ever, to draw you in. So relax, and we’ll find her and Arwen, I promise.”
Okay, what he said made sense. I dragged in a deep breath, trying to regain control. Being emotionally invested in this search was a bad idea. What Joss said about Cadifor using Mom to get to me could only end badly, but for now, I had to believe him. Despite the fact he’d lied about why he was my warrior and not the chosen Olly, I believed him. I had to. I couldn’t do this alone, and in some small way, I guess I was grateful he’d finally told me the truth.
He didn’t have to. He could’ve kept lying to me until the end, making it so much harder if I’d fallen deeper.
And I had fallen, no doubt. To forgive him this quickly, I cared, a lot. But that didn’t mean I had to forget, and having my trust shattered in the guy I liked was a wake-up call I needed.
“You’ll never be alone in this,” Joss said. “Ever.”
He chose the most inopportune moments to read my mind, and I wanted to yell at him to back off. Until I saw his genuine concern, and my resentment eased. For now, I needed him and if I didn’t let go of my anger entirely, it could affect my thinking and jeopardize my chances of getting out of this thing alive.
Nodding, I mouthed “thanks” and headed to the table to plot Cadifor’s downfall.
I hoped it wouldn’t be mine too.
When I arrived back at school a few hours later, my head spinning with plans and my stomach churning with worry, I ran into the last person I wanted to.
“Hey Holly, how’s your Nan?”
I skidded to a stop as Quinn stepped out of the girls’ dorm. Of course he’d be visiting Raven on a Sunday evening. We often did that, chilling out, listening to music, going over our schedule for the week. Usually I was back much earlier from Eiros, but tonight my timing sucked.
“The same.” I crossed my fingers behind my back, hating the little white lies.
“Too bad.”
“I’m really tired. I’ll catch you tomorrow.”
If I’d been thinking straight, I wouldn’t have made the mistake of trying to slide past him in my desperation to escape his interrogation. Giving Quinn the brushoff only piqued his curiosity.
As I stepped around him, he grabbed my arm, too fast for me to shrug off. “What’s going on with you?”
“Haven’t you given me the third degree before? It’s getting tiresome.”
His bewilderment soon gave way to anger at my joking response. “I get that you like this other guy, but you’re seriously starting to freak me out. You don’t eat with us any more, you hole up in your room, or you’re at the hospital all the time to see him.”
“That’s not true—”
“Bull.” Shaking his head, he released my arm so quickly I stumbled. “This guy isn’t good for you.” His glacial tone chilled me.
“This is none of your business—”
“Like hell it’s none of my business!” He grabbed hold of both my arms. I’d made a monumental error in continually lying to him; easygoing Quinn had vanished.
As if I hadn’t had enough drama for one day. Fighting off a banshee, getting sworn into the Sorority, having my first kiss, seeing my mom being murdered by a monster, and now this.
“We’re friends, damn it, and friends care about each other. What I see when I look at you now … ” He shook his head.
He didn’t deserve the way I’d hurt him, not after the way he’d stood by me from the very beginning. But as much as I would have liked to soothe his ego and tell him the truth, I couldn’t do it. Mom’s life, maybe all our lives, depended on it.
“You’re into some guy who’s turning you into a stress-head and you expect me just to stand back and let it happen?”
“You have to trust me—”
“So you said before, but sorry, not buying it this time. Trust is earned. Trust is respected between friends. You don’t trust me, so why should I trust you?”
Fair point.
I had to give him some snippet of the truth before I lost him for good. The last few weeks, Quinn and Raven had become the BFFs I’d never had. Being cooped up here until graduation, whenever that was, with my friends not talking to me would be unbearable. Who would’ve thought a loner could become dependent?
“You can’t tell anyone about this.”
Lips still compressed in a mutinous line, he nodded. “Promise.”
“I’ve developed another ability. My—” I stumbled, almost saying boyfriend and wishing it were true. “My friend’s gang is expert in this sort of thing, and that’s why I’m hanging around them.”
“If they’re helping you, why are you so strung out?”
Crap, it was harder coming up with half-truths than full-blown lies.
“Because this ability is … volatile.” I fumbled for the right words, hoping my bumbling would convince him I was telling the truth. “Guess I’m strung out because I’m coming to terms with the unpredictability.”
Totally true. I had no idea if the Sorority’s grand plan would work, whether I’d find Arwen and save Mom or this entire situation would blow up in my face.
For someone who liked everything orderly, this lack of control was driving me nuts.
Then there were the added complications of having a huge crush on my warrior, who had shattered my trust in him, a principal possibly involved in nefarious plots and as anxious as I was to find Arwen, and two best friends I couldn’t afford to piss off without losing them.
Unpredictable? My life was a freaking mess.
He scanned my face for the tiniest giveaway I was lying. “Why the secrecy?”
Because people were depending on me.
Because the world was depending on me.
And because I cared too much for the guy staring at me with mistrust to put him in danger.
All very noble reasons, but deep down I knew I couldn’t completely trust Quinn either. Brigit was his aunt, and until I discovered if Maisey had told the truth about who opened the rift, I couldn’t trust Quinn with the complete truth. Which sucked big time, losing faith in my warrior and doubting my best friend in the same day.
“It’s complicated.”
He snorted. “Everything about this place is complicated.” Anger darkened his eyes to moss green. “You know what really pisses me off? That I’m not in on it. You and Raven have your abilities, and I’m boringly normal.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but he held up his hand. “And I know there are a bunch of other normal kids here, dabbling in the dark side, but they don’t have to sit back and watch a friend get in over her head and know there’s not a damn thing they can do to help.”
Okay, this situation was getting worse by the minute. I wanted to confide in him so badly, wanted to have someone truly on my side, but I didn’t know where this would all end, not when the threat of death hung over me like a constant shroud.
“I can’t help if I don’t know the full story,” he said, reaching out to touch my arm before his hand fell uselessly to his side. “And I want to help, any way I can.”
I shook my head, glanced away. “You can’t.”
“Because you won’t let me!”
Frustrated, he thumped the wall with his fist and I immediately reached out to him. “Don’t. I’m not worth it.”
Horror warred with realization: I’d just blurted my innermost fear out loud.
I didn’t feel worthy of this, any of it. Having special abilities that set me apart from everyone, being the only descendant of Bel who could save the world, having an affinity with a hot warrior who liked me back, and having two new friends, one of whom would do anything for me, apparently. How could I be worthy of any of that?
I’d been totally unremarkable my entire life: the model student, the model granddaughter. Quiet, studious, queen of the nerds. Yet here was another amazing guy staring at me with genuine caring and I couldn’t handle it. It just didn’t seem real. Stuff like this didn’t happen to me.
He captured my chin, leaving me no option but to meet his eyes. I forced my feet to stay rooted to the spot. I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat.
The tiny gold flecks in his eyes glowed amid a sea of green. “You really have no idea, do you? You are so worth it.” His gaze dropped to my lips and my heart stopped.
A tingle of expectation rippled along my skin. I didn’t move as Quinn continued staring at my lips. His head tilted slightly to one side, and I held my breath, my skittering pulse as out of control as the rest of my life. How was it that I hadn’t been kissed my entire teenage life, and now faced the prospect of two in one day?
“Holly?”
“Hmm?”
He st
epped forward, so close our bodies almost touched. I could feel warmth radiating off him, could smell coffee and mint and freshly cut grass. He must’ve been lying outside having a latte while I’d been seeing my mom being tortured by a monster. “I’ll always be here for you, whatever happens.”
As his head descended, I had a split second to avoid the kiss.
Hating that I’d landed in this predicament, I turned my head a fraction.
“You have real feelings for this guy.”
I nodded and bit my lip to stop from blurting platitudes, eventually settling for, “I care about you too—”
“Just not like that.” He dragged a hand through his spiky hair, his laugh hollow. “Yeah, I get it.”
“So we’re cool?”
He stuffed his hands in his pockets, like he didn’t want to risk reaching for me. “Hot, more like it.”
I blinked several times and shook my head. I wasn’t interested in adding another guy to my complicated life. Especially when the guy already complicating it wasn’t who I thought he was. Joss had lied to me, and that had tainted my trust in him, but I couldn’t ignore what had come before: I’d fallen for him, and no matter how much I’d like to punch him for deceiving me, I needed him to get through this.
“Quinn, I can’t—”
“Forgotten.”
I didn’t buy his fake smile. I could see the lingering hurt in eyes.
“Thanks.”
“For?”
“Being a great friend. For understanding. For being here for me.”
I wanted to fling myself into his arms, to hug him, really hug him, a full-on genuine bear hug to convey half of what I was feeling. But I didn’t. I just stood there, shuffling my weight from one foot to the other, awkward and embarrassed and way out of my depth.
With a solemn nod, he turned and walked away.
I wanted to reach out to him, to say something to make it all better. But what could I say to make this any easier?
Blinking back tears, I fumbled with the lock on my door, half-fell into my room, and flung myself on the bed. I was overwhelmed by the day’s events, and fatigue seeped through my body like a sleeping pill.
