Jesus, he was about ready to burst.
“Well?” She held her arms out and did that turn around thing of hers, making him smile. “Better?”
“Hell, yeah, you look hot.”
She smiled back. Then blinked at his feet. “Oh, wait.”
Backing up, she leaned against the wall and yanked off her boots and then her owl socks, her breasts jiggling lusciously with each move. His mouth was watering by the time she stood back up and smiled again.
“There. Now we’re even,” she proclaimed, wiggling her burgundy tipped toes.
Fire flittered through his veins at the sight of her. “No. Actually, we’re not.” He stepped to her, unable to remain at arm’s length any longer.
“We’re not?”
“Nope.” Using one finger, he traced a circle around her belly button before drawing a line down to her jeans, where he popped her top button. “Not unless you’re commando under these.”
Her intake of breath cooled the air between them, and he watched her nipples pucker.
“Y-you don’t have…”
“Nope. I just got out of the shower, remember?” He smiled, tracing a circle around her breast before he skimmed her gorgeous peaks. Both of them. He just had to touch them.
She trembled, but instead of moving forward into his touch, she stepped back and grabbed his hands. “Ben, look, I know this is just for fun, that we’ve been having a lot of fun for weeks now, but, I need to know that when I’m gone you won’t think of me as one of your regulars. Someone who is here today, gone tomorrow. I really couldn’t bear it if you thought of me like all the other women you’ve had in your life.”
How could she even think such a thing? She was head and shoulders above those women.
“I don’t.” He’d never lump her into that category. “You’re not.” She stepped to him then, sweet scent calming his senses. “It has been fun. Hasn’t it?”
“Yes,” he replied, then let out a long, shaky breath when she slid her hands up his chest, over his shoulders to lock behind his neck, and pressed her glorious curves against him. The feel of her breasts brushing his chest was too amazing for words, but he knew she needed them right now for some reason, so he used that one. “It’s been amazing.”
She nodded, nuzzling his neck; she breathed him in and sighed.
The woman was so enchanting and hot and soft. He ran his hands down her back and turned his head into her hair and inhaled, took her in, imprinted everything about the moment in his mind for later, when she was gone.
“Ben?”
She drew back enough to catch his gaze and peer deep inside, seeing things only she could see, things he couldn’t hide from her, things he never showed anyone else.
Her mouth was so close to his he could feel her talk when she whispered, “It’s been real, too. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Thank you,” he said, mouth tingling by the almost brush of lips. She was incredible and exciting and fresh. So damn fresh and wild he was always just a little bit out of control with her.
She was also steady and reliable, a true constant for him, something no other woman had ever been for him.
“Sorry, I’m not commando.”
He chuckled and tightened his hold on her. God, she was adorable. He was going to miss the hell out of her. And because of that, he closed his eyes and breathed her in again. Sweetness, fruity shampoo and warm woman. He was not likely to ever forget her. Then he kissed her, slow, tentative kisses, tasting first one corner of her mouth, then the other, then everything in between.
Her hitched breathes took away his and he rode the anticipation of all he knew was to come. Their amazing connection. Being with her was a crazy, incredible ride.
Crazy, because for years, he’d created a wall around his heart and emotions, keeping them guarded and untouched, then Lea came along and inched her way past his defenses, past layers of barricades and resistance and stripped away every last one of his barriers, leaving him vulnerable, exposed, and bare. And yet, the incredible woman treated that find as if it was as precious as air.
If he was in his right mind, he’d no doubt run. These were very serious alerts. Threat level red. Yet, he was still with her, holding her, savoring her kisses. Wanting her. Wanting to be with her.
“I hope you don’t have to go home tonight,” he said against her jaw.
“No. I’m all yours.”
An unnamed thrill raced through him as he twisted them around and pressed her back against the wall. “Good.”
Grabbing both wrists, he set her hands above her head and held them loosely with one of his while he kissed her deeper, longer and trailed his other hand down the curve of her throat, over her collarbone, to lightly trace her breast.
She moaned; her body trembled, and she arched into him, driving him out of his mind, but he would not be rushed.
Not tonight.
No. He was going to savor this night.
Chapter Thirteen
Lea’s heart rocked in her chest, and she could hardly catch her breath. The man was incredible, and driving her mad with his feather light, barely there touches and kisses. She was going to be certifiable in seconds.
He drew back and released her hands. “Keep ‘em there,” he ordered, eyes so deliciously dark and heated, her core contracted.
His mouth was on her neck, nuzzling that spot behind her ear, and she couldn’t stay still. She gasped and squirmed, and silently pleaded for him to touch her. But still, his hand brushed around all the good parts, skimming down her belly and hip to her thigh where he lingered, inching ever so close she could feel the heat of his hand through her jeans. Then it was traveling back up, while his other one traveled down, creating circles of sensations, and she was having a hard time concentrating on just one.
He was a force of nature; the reactions he drew from her were fierce and untamed, and she loved ever blessed minute. His touch grew firmer and bolder until finally, finally he brushed her nipples.
She cried out, and he drew back to cup both breasts and tweak her nipples. Lea arched into him, always remembering to keep her hands up. But she wanted to touch him. Oh, God, how she wanted to touch him and taste him.
“Not yet,” he said, as if reading her mind, dipping down to kiss her breast and elicit a moan from deep in her throat.
And when he started to pull her zipper down, she felt the rumble of every single tooth as he neared the bottom. Then a hand was inside, and she shameless sucked in her gut so he would have more room to get to her tingling center. And then he did, and she could feel his ragged breath against her skin.
“So wet…”
He slid his thick finger inside her, and she was so close already, so darn close he ripped a needy sound from her, but she didn’t care. She rocked into him, and he upped the pace of his strokes, captured a nipple in his mouth, and when he pinched the other with his fingers, she exploded with a shameless, low, needy cry filling his kitchen.
Catching her before her knees completely buckled, Ben helped her put her arms down and held her close while she found her way back to the world and regained feeling in her fingers.
“That was…incredible,” she gushed, and his dark, smoldering gaze had her belly heating again.
“Just the prelude,” he said, then tossed her over his shoulder and carried her down the hall to his room, where he dropped her on the mattress. “We have the whole night.”
With a thrill shivering through her at the heat in his words, she propped up on her elbows and watched as he stripped off his jeans.
Yep, commando.
His erection stood thick and long and proud, and her body ached to have him inside. She was such a Ben groupie. His six-pack abs and defined chest were on her list of must tastes for the night. He fished a condom from his jeans, and she loved the way his muscles rippled.
“You want help?”
“No,” he said, voice low and gravely. “If you touch me now, I’ll burst.”
Her mouth watered
, and body quivered as she watched him roll on the condom. She was such a Ben groupie.
Then his hands were on her jeans, and in one swift move, he yanked them and her panties right off. “Oh!” she gasped. His take charge, determined movements had her heart racing and body heating in anticipation.
Ben crawled up her body, kissing and licking on his way to her mouth where he plundered with a groan. His hands were gliding everywhere, spreading the heat that was simmering inside. She traced his abs and would’ve gone lower, but he drew back, nudged her legs apart then entered in one thrust.
Lea’s cry of pleasure mixed with his, and they were both damp with need.
“You feel so good,” he said, his voice a throaty whisper.
Then he began to move, and she closed her eyes, riding the sensations. And when he spread her thighs and thrust in farther, she gasped and clutched his arms.
His mouth was on her throat as he pulled nearly all the way out, then drove back in, over and over again. “So damn good.”
Heat flooded through her belly and settled between her legs. Oh, yeah… He felt so damn good, all big, and thick and thrusting. “Ben…”
He drew back and stared down, his gaze incredibly open and trusting, sharing emotions with her he wouldn’t normally reveal. Her throat tightened, incredibly humbled by the trust.
She arched up, pressing her chest to his, needing to connect as much of her body to his as possible as she neared that blissful edge.
The angle afforded him to push even deeper inside. He made a raw, rough, rumbling sound deep in his chest as he captured her mouth, and their tongues matched the push and pull of their bodies. Then he upped the pace, and it was all too much, and just right, and perfect. So perfect, she came with him buried deep inside, with barely any room for air between them. Irrevocably connected, she trembled around him, calling his name, and as he thrust deep and hard one last time, he followed her over the edge with her name falling from his lips.
Ben woke the next morning to find himself wrapped in a Lea blanket of warm, soft, naked woman. He decided then and there that was the only way to wake up in the morning.
Too bad she’s leaving…
The truth in that statement slammed into him, and he stilled, willing the tightness in his chest to ease. He was confused; the woman put the tightness in his chest, but she was also responsible for taking it away. What the hell?
She wiggled closer, and the feel of her soft curves brushing his skin pushed the confusion away.
Last night had been another incredible night with the giving woman. It had also been more, but he refused to dissect what had set last night apart. Her cries, and touches, and responses, and the way she panted his name as she clutched tight…they were always good. He could still hear the soft, throaty little mewling sounds she made as he stroked her just the right way.
And now he was hard.
Which was actually pretty amazing considering the marathon they’d had. In the bedroom, on the kitchen island, outside on the back porch swing. That one had been tricky, but with a little ingenuity, they’d found their groove, and lost the last of their strength in the process. They had been too exhausted to go back inside. Okay, he couldn’t feel his legs, that’s why they stayed put. They’d been relaxed, warm and satisfied. Yeah, they weren’t going anywhere.
Surrounded by woods, the fifty-two acres he owned were private, so he hadn’t been concerned with exposure to either the public or the elements.
After Lea’s sexy, low cries scared the night creatures while they were in the throes, he hadn’t been too worried about falling asleep outside. The heavy blanket that was now thrown over their snuggling bodies had kept them warm. There had been no need to go back inside. And despite the cold temperature, the two of them had generated enough heat to keep them toasty.
He was acutely aware of the fact he was ready to generate more.
She snuggled close again, this time running a very wicked hand down his chest to splay over his abs, just inches from where he needed her touch.
“Mornin,” she said, voice muffled against his chest. “You feel good.”
He ran his hand down the curve of her ass and gripped her tight. “So do you, but I know how to make you feel better.”
“Mmm…not sure that’s possible, because I feel pretty damn good.” She lifted up on her elbow to stare down at him, the slight movement sending the swing into motion.
That wasn’t the only thing moving. His heart rocked hard then started to race, and chest squeezed tight, real tight, and he tried but couldn’t drag in any air. What the hell happened to all the air? They were outside, for Christ’s sake.
He didn’t know. Couldn’t think past the need to get away from the soft, sweet, emotional look in her eyes, directed at him.
Shit.
No, he didn’t do emotions. He didn’t want them. Ah, hell, why did she have to bring emotions into this?
He didn’t mind some of them. Desire. Passion. Lust. Lust was a great one. One of his favorites. But those weren’t the ones shining in Lea’s eyes this morning, softening her face, making her all doey eyed, and him feel all warm inside.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
This was bad because right now, he was responding to the look of fondness, affection and…love.
Christ, his chest hurt.
The feelings she generated reached in and touched something deep inside, cracking something open.
Damn it. She broke him. That’s why his chest hurt so bad.
What the hell did he do now?
Call Scott?
No. He needed to go outside for air.
He was outside.
“Ben, what’s wrong?” She touched his face, concern mixing with the emotions still warming her gaze.
He opened his mouth, but the only thing that came out was a squeak. So he lifted the blanket, rolled off the swing and tripped his way back inside his cabin where, apparently, all the air was being held captive because he sucked in several good mouthfuls.
Until Lea followed him in.
“Ben?”
He couldn’t look at her, not yet. “Yeah?” he asked, taking the wuss’ way out by walking to the laundry room in the hopes of finding some clothes, any clothes to throw on so he could get out. Go for a drive, hike, unicycle ride. He didn’t care. He just needed to think, and he couldn’t do that around Lea. That wasn’t an excuse. It was fact.
“You okay?”
Jackpot. He found clean clothes stacked on his dryer.
“Yeah. Just need to be somewhere.” Anywhere she wasn’t so he could find his brain.
He pulled on clean clothes, slipped into the cowboy boots he’d left by the wall, and nearly jumped three feet when he felt her hand touch his shoulder.
Ben twisted around and lost his air again.
Ah hell, she was naked. Gloriously naked, and he was hit with a foreign urge to reach for her and cradle her close, hold on tight and never, ever let her go.
Damn. Oxygen deprivation was setting in. He was worse than he thought.
“Where are you going? Panicville?” she asked, her voice soft.
He didn’t deserve soft because he was an ass.
She stood in front of him, unconcerned by her lack of attire. How did she do that? He was piled under clothes and had never felt more naked in his life.
“Nope. Just need to be somewhere.” He brushed past her out of the laundry, grabbed his keys off the rack and headed for the front door.
“Ben.”
“Just need to be somewhere,” he repeated, as if saying it three times made it not a lie.
Ah hell. He was telling her lies. She so didn’t deserve it, but damn, he just needed to think. Needed space, and if he’d been smart, that is what he would’ve told her.
“Fine.”
The softness had disappeared from her voice, and he knew, with an inexplicable certainty and chest-tightening dread, if he had the balls to turn around and face her, the warm light, the soft look, the happiness would
no longer be in her eyes.
“Have a good life.”
He was a jerk. Who needed to run.
“I’m sorry,” he said, glancing over his shoulder, but not meeting her gaze. He couldn’t bear to see the pain he’d caused in her eyes.
She didn’t answer.
He didn’t blame her. This stupid panic attack and the horrible way he’d handled it proved Lea Gablonski was better off without him.
And as he closed the door, he already hated himself.
Chapter Fourteen
Wednesday evening, Lea parked her car at the lodge and got out to head to the residence wing for a good-bye dinner the Wynes insisted on throwing for her. She loved them dearly, and wanted to say her good-byes to them, but Ben would be there, and she hadn’t talked to him since he walked—no ran—out of his own cabin Sunday morning, after giving her the most incredible night of her life.
He’d been sexy, and charming, and he’d shown her his heart. Several times that night. In several ways. She’d seen it in his eyes. Felt it in his touch. Heard it in his voice. The night had been magic. But apparently, he’d missed all of it because he sure as hell hadn’t expected to see her heart.
She was in idiot.
Why couldn’t she have remembered to not show her feelings?
Oh, right, that would be because she’d been overloaded with mindboggling orgasm after orgasm the night before and had no damn brain cells left. That’s why.
Idiot.
She was definitely angrier with herself than him. The guy was emotionally dysfunctional going into the liaison thing they had. She’d known that about him, right from the start. He’d reminded her, too.
On Monday, he’d shown up at the restaurant, his gaze all haunted and remorseful. But there had been a bus rush at the time, and he’d left before business had calmed down.
Lea blew out a breath as she walked through the lobby. This was on her…this mess. She’d fallen in love with a man, a good man, but a man who didn’t know how to love back. His heart and emotions were wrapped tight under so many layers of lock and keys, it’d never see the light of day. At least, not for her.
Wyne and Dine (Citizen Soldier Series Book 1) Page 20
