I was happy to be living in freedom, but I always slept with one eye open. I always found myself glancing over my shoulder. I was paranoid and rightly so.
Most of my childhood and teenage years was as his slave and always living in a state of constant fear.
I refused to be crippled by the emotional demons of my past. I knew that in order to survive, I would need to live each moment to the fullest, as cliché as that sounded.
It was important for me to count each second as if it were my last, because I had been through the ringer and I knew what it felt like to be so encompassed in dread that death seemed like the only viable solution to my problems.
I lifted my gaze to the sky again. The angry clouds swelled around me in a churning sea of uncertainty. It was a mirror of the hauntings of my past. I set my jaw and turned my gaze back to the water as perseverance pumped along with adrenaline through my veins.
Every waking second was a constant reminder that I had survived the emotional and physical abuse and it hadn’t taken me over completely. Sure, the injustice had taken its toll, but I was coping with the shit that tried to suck me down like quicksand.
“It’s time to focus on the task at hand and why you are here,” I reminded myself with a deep sigh that felt heavy as it lifted from my lungs.
I didn’t shift into a bear much these days. I had been beaten down by my Master for so long that I only shifted now when I felt like my life was threatened. I didn’t like shifting anyway. I was a danger to those around me, because I became extremely aggressive. I wanted to protect those I cared about and loved, those who were still around.
I closed my eyes and saw a picture-perfect scene of my mother and my brothers with my father. We had lived in these very same mountains in a cozy cabin nestled in between the firs and pines, but when my father got a job in town, we had to move to the neighboring village.
That was when my world came crashing down and all hell had broken loose. The Masters had killed my mother. They had tried to take my three brothers and I, but my father had stepped into the line of fire.
He shifted and took us, his little cubs, and tried to flee into the woods. But his noble and brave efforts had backfired.
The guards working under my particular Master snatched me right off my father’s back. In the chaos of trying to scramble to safety, my father hadn’t even realized that he had lost the weight of his fourth baby cub from his back as the Masters muzzled me and stripped me away from my family.
Back in the present, I opened my eyes and inhaled the crisp mountain air that was beginning to get misty. The rain was coming soon. I had no doubt in my mind that I would be reunited with my father and brothers one of these days. They were out there, I was certain. I just didn’t know where to find them yet. I was still trying to process the atrocities of my past. Once I had come full circle and healed, I knew that my heart would open up the doors to the answers I needed.
I cast my fishing line into the river. I was at the crest at the river basin where all the water collected and ended up. I usually had better luck fishing here because the water was more stagnant. It was easier to catch fish when the water wasn’t moving along at a rapid speed.
Sure, I could shift and hunt for the fish in my bear form, but I was having difficulties lately with being able to bubble up enough heated aura to do so. I felt fat droplets of cold water begin to plunk onto my skin.
I glanced up again.
“Great,” I sighed. “Here we go. Right when I cast my line in is when the rain decides to pelt from the sky.”
I planted my feet on the ground. I would stay rooted there, determined not to go back to the bunker where I lived without a bucket of fish. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I saw their disappointed faces.
People were looking to me to help provide dinner. Everyone had a job in the bunker, everyone had a purpose. We worked individually to make a whole unit. It had worked so far, and everyone knew their role.
I was annoyed with the rain as it began to flow in a steady stream from the emptying clouds above. Before long, it was a torrential downpour that soaked me to the bone. My clothes stuck to my skin. I would have to peel them off later.
I wouldn’t give up. I wouldn’t stop fishing until I had trout or sea bass or something to bring back to the hungry ex-slaves I lived with. I stared straight ahead at the water, trying to concentrate all my efforts into the fishing wire.
“Come on,” I gritted my teeth and muttered. “Something in that water, please take the bait.”
The weather wasn’t helping my success rate at being able to lure in a fish, but I was still determined given the circumstances.
My mind was so occupied that at first, I thought I was hearing the sound of an animal wailing through the trees.
I let the sound go in one ear and out the other, but when it became louder, shriller in tone, and ever closer by the second, it captured my attention.
It was a female voice. I was sure of that much. My ears pitched. My senses went on high alert. The hairs on the back of my neck began to prickle and stand at attention. I kept the fishing rod in my grip, but it was getting more difficult to remember that it was there. The sound of the female voice in severe angst and panic was ringing through the air and cutting it with sheer terror.
I just happened to glance at the water at the exact right and fateful moment. I saw a woman with her head bobbing along on the surface like a cork. The rest of her body was still completely submerged into the water.
I threw my fishing rod on the ground, abandoning it in an instant as I dove into the water in a flash to attempt to rescue the woman. Her arms extended over her head and she struggled weakly to wave them in my direction.
I saw that she had matted, broken black wings on her back. She was a swan shifter. My heart dropped from my chest and into my stomach. I had to save her. She could barely keep her head above water. Her hair was a soggy mess that was sticking to her cheeks and forehead.
She continued to sputter and gasp with eyes widened in what I could only imagine to be paralyzing fear.
I slid off the slippery rocks and into the water. The very breath in my lungs became suspended as the cold ripped through me like a thousand volts of electricity. It was several seconds before I was able to move again.
This woman in the water must be in agonizing pain. I had only been in the water for seconds and my legs and arms were already turning red in reaction to the icy cold. I could barely manage to maneuver closer to her. My legs and feet felt numb. It was brutal torture being in that water.
“I’m coming,” I shouted above the rain and the lashing wind. “Just hold on, I will be there in a second.” I didn’t believe my declaration any more than the woman probably did, but I could see the relief flood her face as soon as she realized I was there.
She opened her mouth to cry for help, but she couldn’t. She needed to conserve all the air in her lungs for breathing.
I swam over to her side. The current was working in our favor and pushing her towards the embankment in my direction. I reached out with a grunt to grab onto her. At first, my wet fingers were not able to catch a tight grip around her slender arm and I lost grasp of her.
“Arrgh,” I groaned in frustration and pushed myself forward with my arms working as propellers to guide me through the water’s current.
It was so damn cold that I could barely feel any of my extremities. How was this girl still alive? I couldn’t answer that, but I was certain that if I ever got her out of this water that she would go into severe hypothermic shock.
“I’ve almost got you,” I said and extended my arms once again to try to reel her in.
This time I got her by her long hair. I hated to yank her and hurt her, but if she wanted to live she would just have to take the apology from me that would come later when we were back safely on land.
I snatched her forward and as soon as she was close enough to reach, I grabbed her around her waist and swam with her towards the lining of the
river.
“This way,” I panted. “I’ve got you.”
The woman was shivering from head to toe. Her body was violently jerking, and her muscles were clearly involuntarily spasming. Her teeth were chattering so loudly that I was worried for a few seconds that her jaw might come unhinged.
She had the most magnificent bone structure. She was like a porcelain doll of perfection. Her creamy skin tone was a breathtaking contrast to her ink colored hair. She had the most magnificent eyes I had ever seen and staring into them was like being locked forever in a rainbow.
I pulled her out of the water and gently laid her down on the ground beside me. She was still convulsing. “Hang on,” I told her. “I have a blanket in my backpack.”
I jogged over to retrieve the blanket, thankful that I had spontaneously decided to bring it in case I needed it for something. I had no idea how accurate my own intuition would turn out to be.
I ran back to her side where she was still trembling around on the ground. Her wilted wings looked like a set of tangled black roses that had been water logged and soaked to death.
“Here,” I whispered as soothingly as I could as I draped the blanket across her ballerina body. “You should warm up in no time.”
I was only trying to coax her into feeling slightly better. I knew that I would probably have to bring her indoors in order to help her regulate her body temperature. She might need medical attention from our medic team in the bunker. I didn’t know how well received it would be to bring her back with me, but for now I didn’t care. I just wanted to make sure she didn’t die right here on this river embankment.
I rubbed her body with my hands over the blanket. “It’s going to be okay,” I reassured her. “You are safe now.” My goal was to create friction with her skin and the blanket to even out her body heat.
Her eyelids drooped and fluttered shut. Her mouth hung open and she stopped breathing.
“No!” I cried.
Shit. What was I going to do?
I tried to remember how to do the resuscitation drills that I had learned from my time in the bunker so far. We each had to go through a series of tests in order to keep our physical stamina and lifesaving skills up to par.
I pinched her wet nose and pulled her drenched hair off her face and neck. I lifted her chin and began doing mouth to mouth. I was afraid to do the chest compressions and was hoping that she would come to again without them.
Slowly but surely, I began to breathe oxygen into her lungs, filling her to total capacity. I leaned back and waited, panting hard. Sure enough, she instantaneously began to hack. She coughed, gurgled, and began to choke.
I lifted her from the small of her back and placed her on her side so that she could spit the water out of her lungs. I was terrified that she was going to asphyxiate.
“There, there,” I said and patted her on the back as she continued to cough up half the river.
I was flooded with relief that she was alive, not to mention instantly attracted to her beauty and mystery. I had no idea what she was doing in such a violently churning river. I hoped she would oblige me with the answers but for now, I would let her rest. I glanced up at the sky. Miraculously, the clouds were starting to part and a sliver of blue could be seen trying to crack its way through the grayness.
I propped her up against the side of a pine tree and studied her features. She was radiant, even in distress. Where had she come from? How had she ended up in the river? I wanted to know, but I didn’t want to bombard her with a million questions. She already looked overwhelmed enough.
I decided that the best tactic to try and pull information from her was to lay on the charm, which in the company of this gorgeous beauty wouldn’t be a far stretch.
From there I would find out what I could about her, but I knew it was probably best to start with introductions.
She made my heart drum like a pack of wild horses in my chest, but I would keep that tidbit of information to myself until we were comfortable with each other.
18
Sophia
I attempted to focus on the blurry face that was looming over me.
I felt like my lungs were both waterlogged and on fire, but beyond that, I couldn’t feel any part of my body.
I attempted to sit up. I was positioned against a tree. The figure helped maneuver me and held onto my back. Was this person Thom or one of the guards? The man wasn’t dressed like them, but I was frightened to my core because I was still trying to remember what had happened.
The last thing I could recall before this blurry shadow of a figure emerged over me was watching the wind back at the slave camp with Thom. The wind had been fierce and had blown the wagon over that we had been riding in as we wandered along on the trails that seemed to go on forever through the mountainous woods.
I didn’t remember falling into the frigid, churning river. The last thing I could recall was flailing my arms and struggling to keep my head afloat. I felt the heaviness of my wings on my back; they were saturated with water too.
I blinked and my vision began to clear. I found myself staring at a beautiful stranger with dark hair and piercing blue eyes that were as stunning as the shimmering river under the light of the sun.
But it wasn’t sunny now, and a steady rain was drenching me even further than I already was. I was soaked to the bone and shivering involuntarily. Every muscle in my body twitched and convulsed as hypothermia threatened to ravage me.
The man with the gorgeous eyes and the muscular body continued to inspect me with curiosity and concern etched onto his features. He narrowed his eyes and crouched down to my level. He was gigantic, taller than any other man — or person, for that matter — that I had ever encountered back in the village.
He draped a blanket over me and began rubbing my arms to create friction. Inside of my mind, I was screaming. I knew that I should try to run away because I didn’t know who this man was or what he was capable of. But I was too weak and freezing to move a single muscle in my frozen body. My arms and legs were red and raw from the bitter cold of the river, and my fingers and toes were purple. I was afraid that I was going to go into hypothermic shock.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered softly.
My teeth chattered violently. I couldn’t feel my lips. My hair felt cold and matted to my neck and cheeks.
“Who are you?” he asked after several minutes.
I was still in recovery mode, trying to make sense of what had happened and gather my bearings.
I met his gaze. He didn’t appear to be angry or territorial. I didn’t want to tell him who I was yet because I was still trying to decide whether or not I could trust him. It was a difficult decision to make in such a short amount of time, but I had to say something.
I had to give this man a reasonable explanation as to why I was drowning in the river when there was seemingly no one else around me at the time. I knew that it looked suspicious, but I couldn’t help what had happened to me, so I decided in that moment to give him a sliver of truth.
“I lost my footing and slipped into the water,” I told him. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it was just vague enough that I hoped it would get me off the hook.
That’s when I remembered the wind again. It had been summoned by one of the other slaves. It had swelled around us in a thunderstorm borne of hate and rage.
The man’s blue eyes continued to stare a hole right through me. “You lost your footing and fell in?”
He cocked one eyebrow as if he were doubtful of that chain of events, but at the same time found it somewhat plausible given the circumstances. Up until a few moments ago, there had been torrential rain through the forest.
“That’s right.”
I nodded as I continued to compulsively tremble with the deep cold burrowing beneath my bones.
The man glanced around him as if he were paranoid that someone might be watching us. He seemed protective of the area. I could tell that he was harboring a secret as deep and thick as
these woods around us and that he didn’t want me to know what it was.
I could respect that. It made two of us, actually.
But wait a minute, what hell was I doing? I had a chance to be free, at least for a little while. Why wasn’t I pleading with this man and trying to convince him to help me? Fear held me back. I didn’t know who I could trust. I couldn’t be hasty just because I was desperate.
I didn’t want to dig an even deeper hole for myself. I was already in enough trouble as it was. I couldn’t believe that I had survived both the fall and the near-drowning. A part of me wished that the water had won in its quest to pull me under and make me a part of it. But there was still a survival flame beating in my heart and I knew I had to keep going even if the odds were increasingly stacked against me.
“Why are you here?” he asked. “What were you doing before you fell into the river?”
I searched his eyes and I knew in that moment that my boundaries were cracking. He probably saw the torment and the torture shimmering in my eyes.
My lips, fingertips, and toes were burning as my body desperately attempted to warm itself from the inside out. I wondered if the tingling was the first sign of frostbite. I already knew that the danger I was in was far from over.
“I…um…” I trailed off as I attempted to drum up an excuse on the spot.
Why was I so afraid to tell him the truth? This meeting could be fate. This man might hold the key to my safety and refuge, but I was too wary. I was too scared of what he might be hiding to trust him. I had viewed the entire world and all the people in it as a trap for as long as I could remember.
“What?” He craned his neck and leaned in closer in order to hear me.
His features were expectant. I had to give him something — a compromise, especially since he appeared to be extremely protective over this land for some reason. Maybe he was the owner. Or maybe he was also a slave on the run.
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