by Mia Ford
I rub my eyes, knowing that they’re blood shot from the exhaustion. It’s a struggle to keep them open.
“Anything?” Jones asks me as he brings in a mug of steaming hot coffee. Weirdly, he’s actually becoming a pretty good person to have around. I don’t hate him anywhere near as much as I used to. “Any calls?”
“No, nothing yet.” I rest my head on the desk. “I want to push them, but I think I’m just putting them off by this point. I’m sure they don’t want to keep fielding calls from me all day long.”
Jones sits across from me and his stares at me. I can see the sympathy there, but I don’t have the energy to snap at him about it. “Well, at least we haven’t had any letters from Kingpin today. That’s a good sign.”
“Hmm, that’s true. We usually get one in the morning, don’t we? Do you think we should worry about that?”
“Oh.” Jones taps his chin thoughtfully. “I don’t know. Maybe. It could mean a change in activity.”
Maybe he’s sensing that I’m onto him. There could be some way that he’s sensed what I’m up to and he’s freaked because I’m getting on his tail. He could have picked up and left town to get away from me. Or maybe he’s planning something big. Something that’s about to shake my world completely.
“What shall we do about that?” I ask, as much to myself as to Jones. “How can we solve this?”
I push myself into a standing position and I walk up and down the room while my brain spins over everything. I’ve been good, I’ve been getting somewhere, but all of a sudden, it’s ten steps backwards. Now I don’t know where he’s going and I’m off kilter again. Maybe that’s why there’s no note, just to fuck us up. Just as we think that we’re getting used to his behavior he switches it up all over again. Fucking hell, this is horrible…
Ring, ring… my eyes snap towards Jones is shock as my desk phone rings. Ring, ring…
“Shall… I get it?” Jones asks me curiously. “It might be the background check…”
“No.” I snatch the receiver and slam it to my ear. “Yeah? What do you have for me?”
“We have searched everywhere, we’ve been through records in all the countries that we could get the information from, and we’ve been in touch with the companies as well. Charles Manz doesn’t exist.”
My heart sinks. “How the fuck can he not exist? He can’t have stakes in all these companies with no name.”
“I don’t know.” The guy on the other end of the phone sounds shaky and stressed. “And we’re still on it. I just want to keep you in the loop. I don’t know where else we can search for information about him…”
“Fuck!” I slam the phone down angrily. “There must be someone. Charles Manz must be a person. Or people. I suppose it could be more than one person, but how can he have all of this estate if he doesn’t exist?”
Jones parts his lips as if he’s going to say something, but he snaps them closed at the last moment as he thinks better of it. What can he say? This is just yet another dead end. People know who this guy is, but clearly, he’s got a lot of hush money to keep them quiet. I know that money doesn’t last forever and that someone’s bound to crack sooner rather than later, but I don’t have any more time. My personal life is crumbling at the seams and I need to stitch it back together. I need Kingpin gone right fucking now. I want to wring him myself.
“Okay, Jones, we need to… to contact everyone. We need to know if anyone has received communication from Kingpin. Maybe the letter or whatever it is hasn’t come here, but it’s gone somewhere else instead.”
It’s a stretch, but we have to try something. If it was up to me, I would have this done now.
“Yep, okay.” Jones looks relieved to have something to do. “I’ll do it. I’ll make some calls now.”
As he goes, I glance at my cell phone again and I switch it off again. I keep turning it on and off depending on my mood which is like a fucking roller coaster today. Now, I don’t want to speak to anyone. I want to sort this out with Cici when I’m good and ready. It’s arrogant to assume that she’ll still be around afterwards, but I’m pretty sure that we have something so special that we can overcome anything. I hope…
“Yes, you do that and I’m going to take a look at what the background check guys have found. Fuck them and their privacy. I need to take a look through it all to see what they’re missing. Maybe they’ve bypassed someone because they don’t fit the bill, but Kingpin isn’t a typical dealer. If he was, we’d have found him already.”
“Good plan.” Jones nods and gives me a small smile. “Let’s get this done today, okay?”
***
Fuck. These guys can’t be right, this can’t be another dead end. I don’t want to accept that there is no record of Charles Manz but it seems like there isn’t. If I can’t find it, then it doesn’t exist. This is fucking awful.
Once back in my office, I switch my phone on and I finally brace listening to the voice mail messages. They’re all from Cici and they grow increasingly desperate with each and every one.
“Erm, Will, can you please call me as soon as you get this? I’m… I’m worried. I would just like to know that you’re okay. I understand that you’re mad at me, but please call.”
Mad? It takes me a couple of second to remember that we had a row. I’ve left Cici stewing on it while I’ve been distracted all day long. That’s not fair at all, I feel so bad. Once I’ve listened to these, I’ll call.
“Will, something has happened.” I sit up straighter as she sounds more frantic in the second one. “I have a note. A threatening note from Kingpin. It basically says that if you don’t stop chasing him, you’ll end up dead, so will I and Jordan too, he’s also threatened my family. I really need to speak to you. Please.”
My heart slams violently against my rib cage and my mouth runs dry while I hit the button to listen to the next one. I have a horrible feeling that this is going to be something really bad. I can’t fucking hack it.
“Will, I’ve left Jordan with… oh wait, maybe I shouldn’t say in case the phones are bugged. Does that happen in real life or is that just a movie thing? Anyway, it doesn’t matter. He’s safe. I’m coming to find you, I’m really concerned that something has happened to you. I want to see your face and show you this stuff…’
The thought of Cici having a similar envelope to the ones that I’ve been getting is horrible. I know it’ll upset her. All I want to do is wrap my arms tightly around her to hold her close to my chest.
‘Hi, Will, it’s me again. I’m stuck in traffic. I’m still on the way to the police station but if you could give me a call to let me know that you’re okay I would really appreciate it. I’m such a mess, I shouldn’t even be driving.’
The final voice mail is just her letting out a stressed breath. Cici has reached the end of her tether which troubles me. She should probably be here by now, it’s been more than enough time, so I need to find her. If she isn’t here then I’ll panic. Obviously, Kingpin knows where she is, and the fact that he’s contacted her and not us might be a precursor to the fact that he’s about to snatch her. Or even worse. He might… no, he won’t kill her. I cannot lose another person to this. I can’t lose the woman I love, the mother of my child.
“Oh, Will.” Jones grabs me just as I’m about to race to the reception desk to see if she’s here. “I just wanted to let you know that I’ve contacted everyone and no one has any messages. Nothing’s been sent out today.”
“Oh, it has!” I nod frantically. “It has for sure. Cici got it.”
“Oh…” I can see the question on his face. “Right, and who is Cici? Why does she have it?”
“My… girlfriend.” It’s time to let this out now, it’s no longer a secret. “So, yeah this is another dig.”
“You have a girlfriend? I can’t believe it!” Jones sees my face. “I don’t mean it like that, I’m just shocked, that’s all. I didn’t know that you had a girlfriend, that’s all. None of us knew about her.”
“None of us but Kingpin,” I reply wryly. “He’s known all along and he’s threatened her. I also…” Fuck, I might as well let it all out so Jones knows how much is at stake. “I also have a child with her. A baby boy.”
Jones pales. Now he gets why I’ve been so obsessed with this, and hard on him along the way. “Oh.”
“Yeah, I know. And now he’s contacted her directly, so this is real trouble. I need to get it sorted. I’ve had a voice mail from Cici saying that she’s on the way so I need to check if she’s down stairs.”
“Right, well I’ll come with you,” he replies defiantly. “You need all the support that you can get.”
Talking of support, I glance up towards the sky and imagine Andre there looking down on me. It still hurts me to know that he’s gone. Every day feels like a challenge, but I’m trying how hard to move forwards. I won’t ever forget him, I’ll never let his memory die. I’m doing this for him. I just hope that he’s looking down on me, pulling the strings and pushing me in the right direction. I can’t do this without him.
“Come on then, Jones.” I pat him gratefully on the back. “Let’s go. Cici and the evidence awaits.”
“Yes, right, if she has a letter then we might know what we need to do next.”
We pound down the stairs together in silence. I’m sure that Jones is wondering as much about the woman who puts up with me as the evidence and to be honest I can’t blame him. I wonder why Cici sticks with me too. I haven’t been the best in the world. She’s wonderful, and once this is done I’m going to do whatever I can to make her the happiest woman alive. I want to love her, to marry her, to be with her, and I might actually be willing to change for her, and I never thought that I’d be ready to do that for anyone.
Chapter Twenty Five – Cici
If it wasn’t for the sporadic text messages from Michelle, reassuring me that at least Jordan is okay, I would be a mess. There’s been some kind of accident blocking off the highway for ages now and it’s killing me. It’s like the universe is stacked against me, preventing me getting to the man that I love. Or maybe it’s Kingpin. Maybe he orchestrated this so I can’t find Will. He seems clever enough to pull everything off so why not this?
“Damn it,” I mutter as we move forwards slowly once more. “Damn it to hell.”
I also have another fear, but I’m trying not to let it in. I have this terrible scary thought that I’m going to eventually go past the car crash that’s caused all this carnage and see that it’s Will inside of it. the threat is real, the warning is true, and maybe he’s acted on it already. Maybe Will is already gone.
I don’t know what I’ll do if Will isn’t here anymore. Things might not be perfect right now, but that doesn’t mean I want to lose him. I don’t even really want to break up with him, never mind have him die. I don’t want Jordan to grow up without a father in his life, that’ll suck. I’m sure I’ll be able to parent him alone, but I don’t want to. Jordan deserves the chance to get to know his father, I don’t want a criminal to wreck this.
Who is this criminal anyway? I don’t know the underground, I have no idea who any criminals are in this town, but I can’t stop my mind from ticking over just in case. What if it’s someone I know? Plenty of kid have come through my school, some of them a little on the naughtier side. What if this Kingpin is one of their fathers? Maybe I’ve sat across from him at a parent teacher evening and stared him in the eyes. Maybe he knows me.
Finally, the traffic starts moving. It isn’t at the fastest pace but it’s better than being dead still. It’s weird because as I continue to drive it doesn’t seem like anything has really caused the jam, but I don’t want to read too much into that. Will is already – potentially justifiably – paranoid. We don’t need two of us like this. It hardly matters that there aren’t any signs of an accident, it isn’t something to worry about. It’s… fine.
I’ll see him in a moment, I convince myself in an attempt to calm myself down. Once I know that Will is okay it’ll be fine. I’ll see him and we can work on this together. We can solve this. I don’t know what use I’ll be, but by now I don’t care what I do. I’ll do anything to help Will, to save Jordan, to protect my family.
It isn’t too much longer until I pull up in the car park of the police station and I stare at the building. From the outside, it’s a plain white innocuous looking building, but on the inside lies my answers. I’m too scared to face it. I sit where I am for a couple of seconds breathing in and out in a frantic manner. I know that I need to go but I feel frozen to the spot. What if I go in and I learn that he’s gone? I would love to picture an amazing reunion where we run into one another’s arms, but this situation isn’t like that. It’s going to be hard.
Eventually, I push myself out of the car and I force my wooden legs to walk towards the building. My knees practically knock together as I go, but I don’t stop. With my cell phone tightly clasped between my fingers, just in case Michelle needs me for anything, I walk. I keep my eyes fixed firmly forwards and I go.
Bang!
The shocking noise seems to come from nowhere and it nearly knocks me to my feet. I jump up, then duck down as I hear what I’m pretty sure is a gunshot. This is it, he’s finally come for me. Maybe this was Kingpin’s plan all along. Get me all freaked out so I come to check on Will, leaving me out in the open for him to shoot me. I don’t doubt that he’d be brazen enough to do it in public as well. I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t care. The cops obviously can’t catch him because he’s outwitted them, so it hardly matters.
But as my eyes flicker everywhere it quickly becomes clear that he actually isn’t coming for me. I don’t think anyone is. As an old banger of a car drives past me I start to feel foolish. Maybe it was that, backfiring.
So much for not becoming paranoid, I curse myself as I stand and dust myself down. What an idiot.
I get to the door of the police station and I push it open quickly. I don’t want to allow self doubt to creep in any longer, I fear I might talk myself out of it if I do. Just as it flies open, my cell phone bleeps with a message, again making me jump like an idiot. Eyes turn to look at me, I’m sure people think I’m a skittish freak, but I can’t do anything about that now. I fix my eyes to the screen and stare at the message in front of me.
‘Everything is okay. Jordan is fine. Michelle x’
Hmm, that’s a bit formal for her. Usually she sends lots of kisses and smiley faces and her other messages have included something about how cute Jordan is, but I know first hand how challenging it is taking care of a baby. Maybe she’s getting stressed now so I need to pick up the pace. I need to get back to my son.
“Can I help you?” the friendly looking receptionist asks me with a giant smile.
“I need to speak to Will,” I gasp back. “Is he here? I don’t know where he is and I’m worried.”
“Hmm, I see. Do you mean Detective Yoker? How do you know him may I ask?”
This angers me. We’ve been together for over a year now, we have a child together. It shouldn’t be so secretive, it needn’t be so fucking hard for me to get any information about him. But I won’t cry again, not a chance!
“I’m his girlfriend.” I jut my chin out to feign confidence. “And I have something I’m sure he wants to see.”
The receptionist doesn’t look impressed. “Can I ask what it is, please? Only, I don’t want to trouble Detective Yoker since he’s in the middle of a very important investigation and he’s asked not to be disturbed.”
My shoulders sag with relief. “So, he’s here? He’s really here? Oh, thank God.” I clutch my hand to my chest and smile. Then God he isn’t dead, I really couldn’t have handled that. In this building, he’s surrounded by plenty of other officers so I’m sure that he’ll be okay. “I have a letter that’s evidence on that case…”
“You can hand that in to me. I shall pass it forwards to him.”
I clutch the envelope protectively to my chest. I’m not giving this to anyone e
lse. Will is the only person I can trust with it and I want to hand it directly to him. “No. I want to see him. Can you contact him, please?”
The smile remains on her face, but the receptionist is pissed off. I can see it dancing in her eyes. She wants me to back down, I can see that she wants to keep this stand off up until I cave, but I refuse. Me and Will have been through so much, especially in the past couple of days, and I need to see his face. I want to silently communicate with him that the fight we shared doesn’t mean anything. Right now, we all simply need to be safe.
“Fine,” she eventually says through gritted teeth. “I understand. I will see if he can come.”
I slump back in one of the waiting room chairs and wait very impatiently for him to arrive. I have a feeling that the receptionist is taking longer on purpose, to wind me up. I want to react. I actually want to dive across the desk and pull her hair, but I won’t. That’s probably what she wants so she can kick my ass out of here. Instead, I stare at her, allowing my angry gaze to pierce right through her, and eventually it makes her uncomfortable enough to finally put in the fucking call.
“Cici!” Either that worked faster than I thought, or Will was already on the way, but somehow, he’s beside me calling out my name in shock. “Oh, thank God you’re here already. Sorry I didn’t answer your calls.”
