by Lacey Thorn
“Diane’s been up,” Kenzie said before Holt could open his mouth. “I saw her the first time then let her know I needed some time. She’s been good enough to give it to me.”
“What happened to you?” Vic demanded.
“I got mated,” Kenzie said.
Vic had already heard that news, but if she needed validation she didn’t plan to be anyone’s mate, this was it. It made no sense, though. There were four other mated women in this pride, and none of them looked like this. Just the opposite, actually.
“Was it consensual?” Vic demanded.
Kenzie glanced away then closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she whispered, and though she couldn’t see, Vic watched her flinch and curl into herself when Holt moved away. Whatever Kenzie was dealing with, Holt wasn’t helping.
“Go get some fresh air, Holt. I want to chat with Kenzie alone,” Vic said bluntly.
Holt glanced at Kenzie then met Vic’s stare and nodded. Without saying a word, he turned and left the room, closing the door softly behind him.
“I’m not sure he’s your best choice of confidant,” Vic said when they were alone. “The man’s still in love with you.”
Kenzie laughed, but it wasn’t a sound of amusement. “He’s hurt and angry and…being the best friend I don’t deserve at the moment.”
“What’s going on? I’m not going to ask if you’re okay. I can see you’re not. Do you need me to hunt this bastard mate of yours down and drag him back here? Or better yet, do you want me to slit his throat and leave him as road kill?”
“You have no idea how much I’d love to say yes,” Kenzie said. “But hurting him would only destroy me more.”
Vic snorted. “So I won’t kill him. Just maim him a bit, help him see the fault in his choices. You’re already in pain. Let’s make him suffer, too.”
“We’re already connected,” Kenzie said softly, arms wrapped around her waist. “And I have no one to blame but myself.”
“What?”
Kenzie nodded. “When he found me, rescued me, he would have walked away without mating me. But I saw the raw need in his eyes, smelled it on his skin, and I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt this was the one person meant for me. He’s mine.” Her brown eyes flared a yellow gold at the claim. “I gave him no choice. As soon as he released me, I bit him.”
“So you forced the bond?”
“I started it, but once I did, he was more than willing to participate.” She jerked her shirt to the side, and Vic saw the bite that marred her skin. “He took me until I passed out from the pleasure and walked away from me. He gave me the best moment of my life then ripped it away from me. And I can’t even fully hate the bastard because we’re fucking connected. Do you know how messed up that is?”
“My offer to rough him up is always there,” Vic assured her, not sure what to say. Kenzie’s pain was so evident it made Vic’s heart ache for her.
“You know my whole life those who should love me, want me, are always walking away from me. My parents gave me away because they thought I was human. Humans didn’t want me because my shifter senses made me odd. I figured the one person I could count on to stay would be my mate. Joke’s on me. Even my mate walked away and left me.”
“This pride won’t walk away from you, none of us. All you have to do is tell us what you need, and we’ll do everything we can to help you. We’re your family,” Vic vowed.
“Even though Gabriel talked to Tah and told him to watch over and keep me safe?” Kenzie asked softly. “I saw Gabriel after he left here. I met him when I was heading back by myself. I wanted to think, to make sense of what happened. Instead, I met up with my mate again. He told me leaving me was the hardest thing he’s ever done.”
“Bastard,” Vic said.
“I could feel the truth in his words. I could feel how much it was killing him to walk away. But he still did. He wanted me, but he chose to leave. He’s destroying us both so he can be the Angel the people need. I want to hate him for that. I want to walk away from him, from this.” She pointed at the spot where Vic has seen the bite mark. “Just like he did, and it’s ripping me apart inside. I feel this hunger, this fire in my bones. Sometimes I swear I can’t breathe because my emotions are so overwhelming. I want to hate him. I want to hate everyone who depends on him and counts on what he represents.” She closed her eyes and seemed to shrink into herself. “I want to, but I can’t.”
“Kenzie,” Vic said but shook her head. She had no idea what to say.
“Someday, he’ll realize what he lost when he left. He may be my mate, and I won’t be able to turn away if he comes to me. Our biology will make sure of that. But I’ll never trust him, and I’ll always be waiting for him to walk away again.”
“I’ll hate him for you,” Vic swore. “And I’ll do my best to make his life hell when he does come crawling back.”
Kenzie smiled but it was a sad imitation of her former grins. “This is why I need to stay away from everyone for a bit. My emotions are all over the place.”
“Kenzie, you’re not going after Gabriel, are you?” Vic asked.
“No,” Kenzie answered, her voice taking on a hard tone. “The next time I see him, he’ll be coming to me, begging me for forgiveness. Next time, he’ll have to choose me instead of everyone else.”
“You better make him fucking grovel on his hands and knees and worship the ground you walk on before you even consider forgiving that bastard. Hell, I’m not sure you should ever forgive him. But I get the whole mate thing will play a part in everything.”
“The mark means I’ll want to fuck him. My body will always be his and only his. It could have meant more, had he stayed. Honestly, I’ve never known of a mated couple where one of them walked away. I have no idea what this will do. Maybe given enough time, the mark will fade and the brief exchange we had will become so diluted in my system that I can take another as my mate. All I can do is wait and see.”
“This mating shit is fucked up,” Vic stated. The bond could be great, she’d seen that with the other mated couples. Now she was seeing a different side, a darker side, with Kenzie and her mate, or lack thereof.
“It is what it is,” Kenzie said dismissively and walked over to the window. “Are you going to Oklahoma with everyone?”
Vic didn’t press Kenzie about the change in conversation. There were elements to this whole mating thing Vic couldn’t possibly understand. One thing was clear, though. Kenzie was still struggling to understand why her mate had left her, and she was incredibly hurt by his choice. Vic thought again about how much she hoped Kenzie made the bastard suffer just as she obviously was.
“I don’t know for sure. Maybe. Probably,” Vic said.
“It’s not like you to be so indecisive,” Kenzie said, turning back to face Vic. Her arms hugged her waist once more.
“Are you going to Oklahoma?” Vic asked, taking a page from Kenzie and avoiding answering.
“Eventually,” Kenzie said. “There’s something I need to take care of first. Holt’s appointed himself my guardian, so he’s going with me.”
“What is it you need to take care of?” Vic asked. “Do you need me with you?”
“No,” Kenzie said. “I think Holt planned to ask you to come along, but I need something else from you.”
“Okay,” Vic said, eyeing her warily.
“I need you to make sure no one comes after me.”
“I’m sorry, what? Have you been hiding away up here so long you’ve forgotten who you’re talking about? Tah. Reno. Logan. Zane. The crazy fucking Irishmen. And you want me to keep them from coming after you if that’s what they decide to do?”
“Like any of them intimidate you,” Kenzie countered. “You’re even immune to Tah.”
“I think the fully human thing helps me out there,” Vic admitted and finally got a real smile from Kenzie. “Are you sure this is something you need to do on your own? You know you could ask any one of them for help, and they’d give it.”
“I need to do this by myself,” Kenzie said.
“Look me in the eye and tell me it’s not dangerous,” Vic demanded. “Tell me you won’t do anything to put yourself at risk, or I’ll lock you up myself.”
“I’ll be fine,” Kenzie said. “I promise. Holt will be with me. I have too much to lose to do something stupid right now.”
“When are you planning to leave?” Vic asked.
“Soon. The less you know, the better,” Kenzie stated.
“I swear to God if you get yourself hurt, I’ll hunt you down,” Vic declared.
“I’ll be fine,” Kenzie stated again as she crossed to her and surprised Vic by hugging her. “I swear.” She let go and walked back to the bed, grabbing a pillow and hugging it, instead. “Now, tell me why you’re not sure if you want to go to Oklahoma.”
“Well, it’s Oklahoma for starters,” Vic said, and they both laughed.
* * * *
Vic stuck around until Kenzie shooed her from the room, claiming to be tired. They’d spent most of the time reminiscing about the past. There was no other woman who understood Vic as well as her Marine sister. And damn it that was exactly why Vic would do everything she could to make sure Kenzie took care of whatever she felt she needed to uninterrupted.
Finn was the first person she saw as she made her way to the main floor.
“You on duty?” she asked.
“Nope,” he grunted. “Why? You need something?”
“Sparring partner,” she said. “Feel like throwing some punches.”
“Fuck,” he muttered. “I hate sparring with you.”
“Why’s that? Don’t like getting your ass kicked?”
“No, I don’t. My choices are either let you kick it until you’re satisfied or let the guys kick it for fighting back,” he stated sourly.
Vic stopped and glared at him. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Nope, sugar, I’m not,” he said. “So still want a sparring partner?”
“Who kicked your ass for fighting with me?” she demanded.
“Whoever found out first,” he said then gave her a grin. “And I was only kidding about them kicking my ass.”
“Who found you first most often?” she asked, ignoring his grin and the Irish charm he was trying to connive her with.
He shrugged, keeping his mouth shut for a change.
She turned and walked away, heading toward Tah’s office again. Would he be pissed at her for barging in on him twice in one day? She really hoped so. Pissed enough to spar. Finn was right on her heels, suddenly not sounding so cocky.
“What are you doing? Are you really going to tattle on me?” he whined.
She twisted quickly, swiping her foot and knocking him on his ass. It helped he hadn’t been expecting it. That was his problem, though, not hers. And she didn’t waste time feeling guilty. She spun and kept going, changing her mind and heading past Tah’s office, through the house and out the back. Maybe fresh air would help.
She plunged through the trees, feeling the need to do something to release all the energy trapped inside her. Hearing footsteps behind her, she paused and growled.
“Get the fuck away from me, Finn, or I’m going to reconsider sparring with you.”
“If you want to spar, I’m right here,” Gideon said.
She turned and found her gaze captured by his.
“What’s up with your eyes?” she said, anger spiking even higher as she remembered how easily he’d walked away from her earlier. “Sometimes they’re green. Sometimes blue. Is that a shifter thing?”
“Yes,” he said and stalked toward her.
She didn’t mean to retreat. It wasn’t in her nature. But there was something in the neon green of his eyes that made her catch her breath.
“Are you scared?” he purred. The fucker actually purred at her.
“No,” she said. Her back hit bark as he moved in, caging her between his bulk and the tree. It was déjà vu.
“That’s your mistake then,” he whispered.
She leaned her head to the side as his lips skimmed up her neck, sending electric volts through her that seemed to travel straight to her nipples and clitoris. She ached. No. She burned, and it was all his fault. She clenched her fingers in his lush locks and jerked his head.
“I know just what I’m getting with you,” she told him.
“Yeah?” he questioned.
She thrust away from the tree, surging into him. He widened his stance, gripping her waist and managing to keep them both of their feet.
“Careful,” he warned.
She shook her head. “No. I don’t want careful.”
“What do you want?”
“Fire,” she said.
Their gazes met and held, and she wondered if she looked as savage as he did.
“Fucking,” he said.
She nodded. His nostrils flared, and he closed his eyes as if breathing in her scent. Then he took her by surprise, scooping her up high against his chest and heading back toward the house. No man had ever carried her like this before. She’d spent most of her life trying to be one of the guys. But this. Gideon. He didn’t just remind her she was a woman. He made her feel like one.
“Where are we going?” she asked, looping an arm around his neck.
“Is there a way into that house that will keep us from running into everyone?”
“Why?” She stiffened in his arms, wondering if he was ashamed to be with her.
“Because if one more person interrupts us before I get inside you, I might kill someone.”
“In that case, I have a better place—one where no one will bother us.”
He bent his head and kissed her quickly. “Which direction? How far?”
“It’d be easier if you put me down,” she said.
He seemed to struggle for a moment then lowered her until her feet touched the ground. She surprised them both by gripping his hand with hers, palm-to-palm.
“Let’s go,” she said with a grin.
Chapter Four
Gideon could feel the scent of her lust wrapping around him like a cloak. His dick was spike hard and desperate to be inside her. The first few times he took her would be fierce and fast. Maybe that would beat back some of the flames she fanned when she was near him. The third and fourth times would be longer, steadier, allowing him to focus more fully on her. He’d drown her in pleasure and revive her with more flames. The fifth time he took her—maybe he would be able to reign himself in enough to be slow and thorough, to show her the softer side of a jaguar’s touch.
“It’s just around the bend,” Vic said, drawing his eyes from the sway of her ass.
“How many cabins are in these woods?” he asked, taking in the look of the one in front of them.
“A lot,” she answered. “This is the closest one to the main house. We cleaned it up and use it as another watch point. Plus, there’s an access road to this one. We keep the vehicles and ATVs around back and everything we need for maintenance inside.”
“And this is where you brought me?”
She grinned. “There’s also a huge bed in there. In case someone decides to crash here, instead.”
“Show me.” He grunted.
She shoved open the door and shook her lush ass as she led him inside. He took one glance around to ensure they were alone then used his foot to slam shut the door behind him. Vic turned to him, and he enjoyed the way her lashes fluttered and her pulse jumped at her throat.
“What is Vic short for?” he asked as he reached around to slide the bolt across the door.
“Victoria,” she answered, and her voice was breathy. “My father wanted a boy. He was going to name his son after him. Instead, he got stuck with me.”
There was so much conveyed in those three sentences, and he wondered if she realized what she’d given away. Hurt, anger and a wealth of pain.
“Was he a soldier?” Gideon asked and wasn’t surprised by her nod.
“Did we come here to ch
at or fuck?” she challenged, one brow cocked high, hands falling to her hips.
He reached for her and pulled her against his chest. He slipped his palms over her hips and down to squeeze her ass while dipping his head to claim her mouth. She opened wide for him, inviting his tongue inside and rubbing hers against it. She lifted her arms and wound her fingers in his hair again. He liked the way she felt against him, tightly corded muscle in a curvy package.
He boosted her into his erection, and she countered by raising one long leg and wrapping it around his hip. He turned and slammed her against the door. She clenched her fingers in his hair and jerked his head to the side, biting his neck then sucking the sting.
“You like it rough, big boy?” she panted.
He did, which was why he never had sex with a woman who wasn’t a shifter. Until now. He wanted to retaliate, to bare her neck and bite back, but his animal was too eager as if salivating for a deeper taste. Instead, he hauled her higher, raising her feet off the floor and trapping her between him and the door.
“Oh, yeah,” she moaned, and her hands were everywhere, legs clasping around his waist.
She rode the ridge of his erection, grinding the denim of her jeans against his.
“Need you,” she panted, leaning her head against the door and exposing her neck to him.
He didn’t dare relent enough to nip and nuzzled instead, marking her with the scrape of his whiskers as he licked and sucked along the column. Her hands gripped the sides of his shirt and hoisted it, pulling until she had the material wadded in her hands. She shoved it up, and he pressed his groin tighter into her, using his lower body to hold her while he moved his hands and allowed her to wrench the material free.
She tossed it aside and moved to reach for him again, but he had other plans. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and divested her of it and the lacy, feminine, black bra she wore beneath. It surprised him and managed to spike his lust higher. Her full breasts spilled into his palms, and he licked his lips in anticipation of tasting one of her swollen nipples.
“Fucking gorgeous,” he crooned, cupping and molding her.
He worked his thumb and forefingers over her nipples, pinching lightly then plucking at them. Her nails scraped over his taut abdomen, leaving a trail of red marks in their wake, and he retaliated by giving her nipples a twist that had her crying out. She dug deep, and he knew he’d be wearing the crescent shape of her nails embedded in his skin for a long while. It only made him hotter.
