I swallow away the lump in my throat. “Yes.”
Again, it’s quiet for some time. Murderously quiet. And it freaks me the fuck out.
“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I should’ve told you that—”
“I don’t wanna hear it,” she interrupts. “Just answer my questions.”
“All right …” I sigh.
“You bought these from me. You’re pantysniffer3000?”
God, I knew I should’ve picked a better name. It sounds so wrong when she says it out loud. “Yes.”
Every time I admit something, it feels like I’m gutting myself, but a weight lifts off my shoulders too. It’s a strange combination that I’m not sure works well.
“And all these other panties?”
“I bought them too. I don’t steal.” As if saying I’m not a criminal makes it any better. Fuck, I’m so stupid sometimes.
She spins on her heels, clutching her panties. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you don’t get to say that.”
“But I am,” I say. “I never wanted you to find out like this.”
“Yeah, well, you did a great job of hiding it.” The look of disgust on her face makes me so mad that I lash out.
“I didn’t expect you to go through my drawers like some raccoon looking for kitty kibbles,” I growl. “Who does that anyway?”
“Did you just compare me to a raccoon?” She folds her arms, still holding those pink panties I love so much. “And everyone would. You went through my kitchen cabinets too.”
“So?” I gasp. “That’s different.”
“No, it’s not,” she retorts.
“Yes, it is. Closets are sacred. There’s an unwritten rule that no one opens them unless told specifically which drawer.”
“According to whose rules?” She narrows her eyes. “Yours?”
My lips part, but I don’t know what to say. Instead, I just frown and blow out some air. “Look, I said I was sorry.”
“And I should just accept that?”
“Why not?”
“Because everything gets solved by saying sorry? Fuck no.” She scowls at me. “You’re despicable.”
“Thanks,” I say, closing my eyes. “I needed that.”
“No, don’t play the victim here.” She points at me, rubbing it in. “You don’t get to do that. You stole my panties.”
“What? I paid for them fair and square.”
“Semantics,” she says.
“That’s what I always say.”
“So? You don’t own the word.”
“No, but I do own those.” I point at the panties. “Just like I own the others.”
“How many girls, TJ?”
“I don’t know. I don’t keep track.”
“So you’ve been doing this for a while, huh?” She picks up some of the panties in the drawer and holds them out. “Collecting panties from girls so you can get off?” she sneers.
“I was going to tell you …”
“When?” Her voice is so high I swear it could break glass.
“Soon. Once you’d … softened up to me.”
“Softened up? Really?” She grimaces. “I’m not your fucking couch, TJ.”
She throws all the panties at me, and I take it like a man. But fuck, this is humiliating. Still, I ignore the panties scattered all around me and focus on her.
“That came out wrong. Look, I was going to tell you, I swear. I just needed to know you were okay with it all before I—”
“No. I see why you were sleeping with me now.” She grabs the other panties that I took from her on the night we first slept together and holds them up along with the pink ones. “This is what you’re doing it for? Sexing me up, so you can get my panties and pretend you don’t have them?”
I don’t know how to respond, so I shrug. “I can’t lie to you, Lesley.”
“You were doing it pretty fine all this time!” she yells, tears welling up in her eyes.
“And I’m sorry for that …” I hold out my arms. “Please, don’t be mad.”
“Why? Are you afraid?” She grinds her teeth. “Think I’m going to tell someone?”
“Please don’t,” I beg.
“Tsk … like you’re in the position to ask me for anything right now.”
“I’m not, but I’m begging you. Please don’t tell anyone,” I plead with her. I hope she’ll see me because this is not a lie. This is the god’s honest truth. I am terrified. So damn terrified…
“If this gets out—”
“It won’t. Like I’d ever wanna talk to anyone about this,” she spits. Like a venom-laced knife, it stabs me in the heart. “Am I just another one of your conquests? Just another girl you can snag panties from?”
“No, of course not. Out of all the panties I bought from girls, you’re the first I’ve actually met,” I reply.
“Oh, well, that’s a relief,” she scoffs in sarcasm. “Were you keeping this from me to test me or something? To see if I was trustworthy enough to keep your dirty secret?” She shakes her head. “Never mind. I know enough.” She barges past me.
“No, it’s not like that.” I turn and watch her run down the stairs. “Wait!”
“I thought I could trust you, but guess what? Apparently, you don’t trust me. And I completely understand why because you are one lying sack of shit, TJ Morrows.”
“I didn’t lie to you,” I say, following her down the stairs, but she’s so damn quick.
“Yes, you did. You could’ve told me about your obsession the moment you slept with me.”
“C’mon, wait. We have to discuss this,” I say, grabbing her arm to make her stop.
“No, we don’t. You could’ve talked to me all this time, and you didn’t. You smell those panties, don’t you?”
I nod, not wanting to admit my fetish that easily, but I know I have no choice now.
“Then you knew these smelled like me, and you knew they belonged to me.” She jerks herself free from my grip. “Now let me go. I’m done here.”
As she walks toward the door, I say, “I’m sorry, Lesley. I wanted to tell you when the time was right.” But it’s no use.
I couldn’t even tell her about the sale. How I didn’t know it was her until it was too late. How I tried to resist and refused to hire her but then did it anyway because I felt bad. How I kept fighting the urge to kiss her, despite knowing damn well what it would cause.
I knew I was wrong to begin with. I just wish I could’ve told her the truth before it was too late.
But that time has passed.
The last words she utters from her mouth before she runs out the door ruin me. “Should’ve thought of that before you slept with me.”
Chapter 20
Lesley
Pantysniffer3000.
Panty sniffer can kiss my ass.
I keep scrolling past his name, going through all the emails and Twitter PM’s we exchanged, and with every passing second, I feel more rage boiling up. It comes to the point where I’m screaming out loud, wanting to throw my laptop out the window, but I settle for smacking it down on my bed.
“Asshole!” I yell at the screen.
There he is, pretending to be all innocent, buying my panties and shit. Did he know it was me? Did he know I was applying as his intern when he bought those? Did he know when he hired me that it was me he bought them from?
But more importantly … has he been sniffing all those panties when I’m not around?
Just the thought of it makes me wanna smack somebody.
Too bad I’m all alone.
I’ve only got Pepper here with me to console me, and even that doesn’t help, because all she does is remind me of him. That bastard.
And even after days have passed, I’m still thinking of him.
“Fuck him, Pepper.” She’s lying next to me on the bed, and I wrap my arm around her and cuddle her. “We don’t need that son of a bitch.”
She licks
my face, and I smile. “I love you too, little Pep.” I do. I honestly do. I’ve never liked dogs, let alone loved them, but Pepper somehow managed to dig her way into my heart.
Still, I sigh. I can’t help but think about TJ and the whole panty debacle. “I just wish none of this would’ve happened. God, the shame.”
I scroll down the emails, thinking about what I’m going to do with them. Maybe I should just delete them all, so they’re gone and I won’t have to look at it again. But no matter how many times I hover over the delete button, I just can’t do it.
I growl out loud and close my laptop, flopping my face down on my pillow.
“Fucking asshole! Why did you have to do this? Right after I was starting to like you.”
Pepper barks.
“And you too … I was finally starting to warm up to you,” I say to her. “But what do I do now? I can’t go back to work. Not when I know his dirty little secret. But if I quit, I might lose you too. I don’t want that to happen, Pep.” I kiss her on the head. “He doesn’t deserve to have you back.”
She barks again, and I cuddle her harder.
But after a while of play-fighting with her, I still can’t resist the urge to open my laptop and stare at the website on screen. My website. And all those emails I’ve gotten from pervy old men who want my panties that have gone unanswered. I used to love selling to them, but ever since I started working for TJ, I can’t send them out anymore. It felt wrong.
That whole website feels wrong.
It weighs me down.
“Oh, Pep … what am I going to do?” I mutter, grabbing my phone.
When I feel like this, there’s only one thing I can do, and that’s to call Hailey.
“Hey, this is Hailey.”
“Hey, Hailey …”
“Les! How are you doing?”
“Could be better. You?”
“Aw, tell me what’s wrong,” she says.
I sigh. “Should I close my shop?”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t know … It’s wrong, right? What I’m doing. It could get me in trouble.”
“Since when do you ever care about trouble?” she asks. “Is there something you wanna tell me, Les?”
“No …” I mutter, swallowing away the lump in my throat. “It’s just that I don’t know if this thing will come back and bite me in the ass.”
“Well, it could … but you started it for a reason, didn’t you?”
“I just wanted to make an extra buck,” I say.
“Exactly,” she says. “So what’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, but I want to start a real business one day. A good one. Non-dirty.”
“You? Non-dirty?” She snorts.
I roll around on the bed. “Shut up. I can sell something clean and wholesome.”
“Sure, you can.” She’s still sniggering.
“C’mon, be serious.”
“I am. Why not design panties instead? Or create sex toys or something?”
I burst out into laughter. “Seriously? Like that’s so much better than selling dirty panties.”
“It’s a step-up, and then you wouldn’t have to deal with all those skeevy pervs.”
“True. And you never know who’s willing to buy fresh panties,” I muse.
“I get it. You like the pervs, don’t you?”
“I do not,” I retort.
“What? Have an eye on one of them? Your boss, for example?”
I don’t know why, but my entire face turns red. “No, stop it! I’m just wondering if I should quit doing this website thing or not.”
“Listen … if having this business right now is helping you, then you shouldn’t quit. But if you feel like you should, then you should.”
“What kind of advice is that?” I ask.
“It’s the kind you get from your best friend. Because you need to make your own decision,” she smart-mouths.
“Ugh … you’re no use.” I groan, rolling around on the bed again so I can pet Pepper.
“Just like you,” she muses.
“Bitch,” I joke.
“Love you too,” she replies.
“Thanks for being my voice of reason,” I say.
“You’re welcome.”
Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and I shoot straight up from the bed.
“Lesley?”
It’s TJ. He’s calling my name. And he’s at my door. Shit.
I hope Hailey didn’t hear.
“Was that the doorbell?” she asks.
Shit.
“No, no,” I mutter.
“Yes, it was …” She sounds way too gleeful.
“Whatever, it’s nothing.”
Again, the ringing. His voice follows. “Lesley? Please open the door.”
“Who is that? Oh my god, is that him?”
“Who? No, it’s probably a salesman,” I lie, tiptoeing around the house and wondering what I should do.
“A salesman who knows your name? Really?” she retorts. “I might be dumb, but I’m not that gullible.”
Fuck me. I hate it when this happens.
“Why aren’t you opening the door?” she says.
“Because.” I’m starting to whisper-yell now. “I don’t want to talk to him right now.”
“Why not? He’s your boss, right? And you two had some crazily epic sex!” she boasts as if she’s proud of it or something.
“That’s exactly why I’m avoiding him,” I say.
He rings the bell again. “Lesley? I know you’re in there.”
Sweat rolls down my back as I stare at the door, wondering what I should do.
“Didn’t we already go over this before?” Hailey muses.
“Yeah, but this time it’s different.”
“Why?”
“Because,” I hiss, “he’s got some of my panties.”
“So?”
“He bought them before I started working for him. And I found his stash,” I whisper.
“Oh …”
Shit. I told her. Was that smart? I don’t know, but I’m kind of panicking right now.
“I can hear you,” TJ’s voice resonates.
“Please don’t tell anyone that,” I say.
“I won’t, I promise,” she says, giggling. “Although I’m a bit shocked, Les. Your boss, a panty sniffer?”
“I know. Why do you think I’m so agitated about him being at my door? What do I do?” I whisper to Hailey, hiding in the corner of my house. Like that’s going to stop him from seeing straight through my door or something.
“Why not open the door?” she says.
“Because he lied to me,” I hiss. “He never told me.”
“Give him a chance to explain. Who knows. Maybe he has a good reason.”
“I doubt it,” I whisper.
“Or stay mad at him and let him walk away,” she says. “It’s your choice, of course.”
“But he’s my boss. If this is work related …”
“Then he can talk to you at work.”
“And if I don’t want to?”
“Yeah. I don’t know, Lesley. You really have to do what you think is right.”
I sigh. “Right.”
“Lesley … please …” TJ’s pleading now, and it’s so hard not to give in. “I know you don’t wanna talk to me, but you don’t have to. I’ll do all the talking. All you have to do is listen.”
“Do what you have to do, Les,” Hailey adds. “I’m here for you if you need me. Just call.”
“Thanks,” I reply, and I press the button to end the call.
A knock on the door. The silence that follows makes my heart thump in my throat.
“I’m not going anywhere, Les. Unless that’s what you want. In that case … I’ll leave something for you at the door.”
I put my phone down and step toward the sound, clutching myself. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Whether I want to slap him. Scream in his face. Make him answer my questions. It’s so hard because I ha
te him for lying, and I want this to go away.
But my hand still reaches for the doorknob. And it still twists until it opens.
His face appears behind it along with a bright bouquet. And not just any flowers. Tulips. My favorite.
I’m so mad … mad that he’s trying to emotionally blackmail me … and mad that it’s actually working.
So what do I do?
I don’t scream. I don’t shout. I don’t punch anyone.
I don’t even say a word.
All I do is stare as he holds the flowers out to me.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I snatch the flowers from his hand, pull back inside, and slam the door shut.
Chapter 21
TJ
Well, fuck me.
She closed the door on me.
I just stand there, stunned at what just happened.
But I have no time to process it because seconds later, the door opens again.
“I’m sorry, that was …”
“Comical,” I fill in for her, hoping it will defuse any tension.
She freezes but then relaxes, and I swear I can spot a smile tugging at her beautiful lips.
“And unusual,” I add.
“That’s me,” she mutters, occasionally glancing at the bouquet in her hand.
“I like it,” I reply.
For a second, all we do is gaze at each other, neither of us knowing how to start this conversation. So I clear my throat and begin. “I apologize for being such an asshole. I should’ve told you.”
She bites her lip but doesn’t respond, so I guess she’s waiting for me to say more.
“I was just so afraid of rejection. I couldn’t do it,” I add. “But I should have. Which is why I’m here. To apologize and explain. I know you probably think I’m a creep, and you’re right, I am. But this creeper is still in love with you.”
She looks down at the floor, but I can still see the side of her lip turning into a half-smile.
I’ll take it. It’s more than I expected.
“I messed up. Badly. I know. Will you forgive me?” I ask, laughing a little. “This is when I would give you the flowers, but since I don’t have them anymore, I’ll just give you a smile.”
“Thanks,” she says. “For the flowers, I mean.” She stares at the massive size of the bouquet. I think I bought like two hundred or more of those tulips. Anything to make it up to her.
Unprofessional Bad Boys - Boxed Set (Contemporary Romance) Page 34
