by India Kells
Still minding the noise she made, and how fast she was going, she exited the bathroom and made her way to the main floor. Still in the dark, Valeria felt people asleep all around the house, and even Asher still tranquil in his room. She couldn’t go back, not now. Instead, she summoned herself clothes. The transition was better than downstairs, but she refused to acknowledge the truth of Sera’s findings. Not yet.
Valeria scanned for the sentinels on the ground and felt them close by, but not enough to block her path. Hiding her scent and blurring her form, she walked the lawn toward the forest. Her sight strangely wavered for a moment, but she continued to walk until her equilibrium steadied again. Ceaselessly scanning the area to avoid any intruders, the flow of power she used drained her quickly. Reassured that she was mostly alone and would be for quite some time, she stopped to catch her breath, and listen.
The night was getting colder as autumn was making way to winter. But the forest was still bustling with life and noises. It took her only a moment to sift through the sounds and find what she was searching for.
A slight stream, so very low due to the cooling temperatures. For several minutes, she walked alongside the flowing water until she reached a small pond, quite smaller than the one where she had been with Asher. But it would do.
Letting herself fall to her knees, Valeria waited for her body to calm down and steady. After a moment, her surroundings cleared, and she started to notice small details, like the cold earth against her shins, the enticing smell of rotting leaves, the cold breeze against her reddening cheeks, the heart that beat strongly in her chest and the stars glittering in the crisp autumn sky. Her body swayed gently to the rhythm of nature. And ever so gently, she started summoning her magic. At first, it flowed through her as it did a long time ago, and then it was as if fire burned in her veins. The pain was such that it almost made her faint.
Not relinquishing her hold on the spell, she pushed the pain away and focused on the pond. The spell wove and made the dark reflective surface ripple. Placing both her hands in front of her, she willed the mirror-like surface to reveal where James Cooper was hiding. Images swirled over the water, and bubbles came to the surface. Tracking using water was more accurate than using a mirror, and guaranteed that nobody could trace back the summoner, but it was costly. Even for a powerful witch, it took a toll, and with her fragmented magic, it would soon be overwhelming. Her vision blurred, the pain bringing tears, but she blinked them away as the image became clearer. His father’s cabin in the woods. He had only taken her there once, but it was not far from her family’s estate, and she remembered the place well. A ramshackle cabin in the hills.
The moment her brain registered the location, her magic dropped. The sensation was devastating, as if her skin was torn from her body and her stomach burst into flames. Valeria howled, the sound tearing from her lungs, unable to refrain it.
She didn’t know what was happening, but her brain was in an electrical storm that lasted a century. Or maybe less than that, because when she finally could draw breath, and survive the pain gripping her body, it was still night. No longer kneeling, but huddled in a ball, she relished the coolness of the fresh mud against her burning cheek. And she regretted being still alive.
It didn’t occur to her that she was sobbing until her body shook, making her aching muscles spasm. Drawing a breath was like inhaling the sharp edges of a shattered knife. She couldn’t live without her magic. No, she wouldn’t live without having that entity that made her who she was, that had forged her the moment she had been born, and the strength she had discovered inside herself during those two years in the streets.
What good was she without magic?
Her throat was so raw that when she screamed in despair again, it sounded more like a screech. Drained from her spell, cold from tiredness, the image of Asher came to her mind. She remembered the heat of his skin, his golden skin and shimmering hair. He was like a sun god, all heat and warmth. Valeria wondered how it felt to be the mate of this alpha werewolf. She wondered why her father never wanted her to meet with any of them. So far, they were rough on the edges but truthful, direct to a fault. There were no games with him, and when he wanted her, there was nothing hidden, waiting in the shadows for retaliation or profit. But she couldn’t want him, there was nothing in this world for them apart from inconsequential sex. And she couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that Asher worked as a stabilizer for her. An anchor. There was no way she would use him. Not even to retain her magical abilities.
Asher would want a family, a lifetime partner on which he would be able to rebuild something. And she would need to go away. Far, far away, and even then, Valeria doubted she could find a place that would shield her from her feelings for him.
Damn, she was in love with the werewolf. And that was the worst thing that could possibly happen to her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“Valeria! Damn it!”
She almost jumped when she recognized Ian’s voice, but her body didn’t dare move. At last numb, she wasn’t willing to let that peaceful state go after being chased by a world of pain.
Hearing scrambling behind her, she hunched herself into an even smaller ball. Her body protested, but she didn’t want to be touched and brought back to the real world right now.
“Valeria, are you alright?” Not touching her, the dark wolf came beside her, hands and knees in the mud, and naked. She had to admit that the man was a sight to behold. What fascinated her was the intricate tattoo snaking around his bicep and shoulder before forking on his pectoral. Without conscious thought, her eyes went from the ink to the well-defined abs and even lower on his happy trail.
Unmindful of her detailing his body, Ian slid closer, lowering his face to hers. His hand hesitated before touching her wet cheek.
“Damn it, Valeria, you’re crying blood! Fuck! What were you doing out here? And what happened to you?”
She closed her eyes, unable to answer. And what baffled her was how the werewolf’s energy in front of her didn’t feed her the way Asher’s did. Of course, she had drained the dark wolf before fighting the rogue Enforcers, but it wasn’t the same. She had taken his energy using a spell. Asher diffused his energy, and it poured into her. Freely.
But she couldn’t think about Asher, she had to push him away, to break everything between them. In the end, they couldn’t be together, so why even keep that possibility, that hope, alive? The only way was to prove to herself that she could move on. Slowly, she extended her hand to touch Ian’s cheek and smiled as she left a muddy trail with her fingers. How much she wished her heart would trip at the sight of his relieved smiled the same way it did with Asher. At his image in her head, she didn’t think, and slid her hand behind Ian’s head, fisting his thick black mane. The werewolf’s eyes widened in surprise when she lifted herself and crushed her lips against his.
At first, Valeria felt him freeze, probably remembering the last kiss she had surprised him with. But it was short-lived when he pushed her back down again and covered her body with his very naked one. The kiss wasn’t tentative anymore, the man knew how to kiss, and the dark wolf wanted to devour her. Lust burnt hot and quick, but it wasn’t desire. A difficult distinction to grasp, but to her, it was easy and so clear as it lacked depth and connection. Ignoring all comparisons and longing, she returned Ian’s searing contact, arching up to him. Even though she was offering herself, gladly being flooded with the means to forget, his hands remained sagely on her arm and hip. What was he doing?
Letting go of his head, she decided to take the matter, or would she say, his matter, into her own hands. Her cold fingers trailed his heated skin, tracing the dips and ridges of his abdomen until Ian moved fast and grabbed both her hands, pinning them above her head.
“What the hell are you doing, witch?”
The question took her aback, and she blinked. “I thought what was going on was pretty self-explanatory.”
His caramel eyes didn’t leave hers. For a momen
t, she thought he would start kissing her again, but instead, he inhaled and let go with a sigh. No longer under a hot man, Valeria sat up and watched him get to his feet. He moved with such elegance and power, she wondered if all shifters were the same. She suspected as much as Asher had the same fluid grace in him.
“Well, I don’t know what to say. I had a crappy day, well most of it at least, and it had to end on a rejection. You know, to follow some sort of theme.”
Ian turned to her and shook his head. “I can smell Asher all over you, and that scent is not one of rejection.”
“Is that the reason why you stopped?”
Ian hesitated before shaking his head. “Asher is a friend and my Alpha. We’re at odds right now, but it doesn’t seem fair to take you. But there is another reason, one you may not like.”
“Apart from reeking of another man?”
“It’s what I didn’t smell that stopped me.”
Valeria wasn’t sure she understood, until she did. “Hey! I was aroused. Look at you!” She gestured in his direction, and he only smiled.
“I’ll give you that, there was something, the definite smell of arousal, but not strong enough to mask what happened between you and Asher earlier.”
Damn shifters and their noses! “Listen, let’s forget about it okay?”
Ian’s smile vanished, and he crouched in front of her. “Let’s not do that. Not right now. I want to ask you a question. And you better tell me the truth.”
Valeria pushed herself up and brushed the leaves and dirt from her damp clothes. “You lost the privilege of asking questions when you shut me down.”
But again, she underestimated his strength and speed when he grabbed her shoulders. “You will answer me.”
“I only offered sex, Ian, not a lifetime commitment.”
“And that’s not off the table. You may not believe me, Valeria, but since my mate and pup were assassinated by the Enforcers, you’re the first woman I’ve … wanted.”
“If I remember well, you wanted to kill me the first time we met.”
Ian nodded slowly. “And then I really saw you. That you weren’t evil, you even saved Maya and helped defend the Sanctuary.”
“And I still remain a witch, Ian. I can’t give you what you deserve. A family, children.”
The man shook his head, dismissing her words. “There is something about you, you’re not like anyone else. Not like any human or witch I’ve known.”
Valeria hesitated to tell him her secret, but he continued speaking before she could utter a word. “And despite everything you have said, you remain with Asher. He cares about you.”
Her head slumped. “He’s a good man.”
“It’s more than that, Valeria. I saw it in him as I see it in you. It’s deeper than flesh.”
“Even if it is, Ian. It can’t be. Never will.”
As soon as the harsh words crossed her lips, the finality of them hit her. She was alone in this. In her life, in her fight, in finding the truth among a pile of lies and deceit.
It was cowardly to use Ian to dissociate herself from Asher. And even if what Sera said was true and Asher’s own kind of magic stabilized her somehow, the Alpha werewolf couldn’t confront her demons for her. First, she would need to confront her past, and find a way of mourning her magic if it was the way her destiny laid. And at this instant, her heart ached both for losing her powers, and for letting Asher go. How could she ever be able to survive that?
Ian came closer and wiped her cheek. “You’re crying red again, sweetheart.”
Valeria didn’t care. Despair gripped her throat and didn’t stop the flow of bloody tears.
“And speaking of the devil…”
She sensed more than saw him first, but soon, Asher’s naked form and tanned skin contrasted among the trees. He must have run as wolf from the house and followed their scent through the wind until he saw her and turned human again.
Asher scanned his surroundings, and Valeria wondered if he was alone. As she didn’t dare use the simplest of her cursed gifts, it was hard to tell. But as Ian didn’t shift, focusing solely on his Alpha, she supposed that they were alone.
Valeria was about to speak when Asher bared his teeth at them and attacked Ian, making Valeria stumble in the process.
What was going on? Pushing herself to her feet, Valeria felt steadier quickly. Probably the after-effect of having Asher so close.
“Stop that!” She could have yelled in a tomb; the two men were too far gone. And without her normal strength, there was no possible way she could separate them. Stumbling forward, she stopped herself when both men turned swiftly into their own wolf shape. In a blur, golden succeeded to black, and if she wasn’t mistaken in the dimming light, blood has started to flow.
Gathering what was left of the magic that was barely starting to flow again inside her and taking advantage of Asher so close, she drew a transportation spell.
Valeria didn’t know exactly how she did it, but when she opened her eyes again, she was back in the Sanctuary kitchen, crying in pain and retching blood. It was getting worse, and any use of her magic would soon kill her.
Her noise drew someone closer, but it took a moment to get herself back together and be coherent enough to wipe the blood from her eyes and see Patricia looming down at her in shock.
“What the hell?”
She was in hell alright, but there was a more pressing matter than explaining her state to the werebear.
“Asher and Ian are fighting, east from here. Please go help.”
Patricia frowned. “You’re not well. And I’m not going to put myself in between to crazy males.”
“Please, just go to them.”
Despair clouded her vision again, as bloody tears trailed her cheeks. The sight must have shaken the shifter, as her expression thawed a little. “Were they fighting over you?”
“I don’t know, it happened so quick. Please, Patricia, please.”
Her pleading was finally successful when the female nodded. “Okay, I’ll go, but first, let me get Genevieve … you’re bloody and weak.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine, witch.”
“Go! Now!”
Patricia hesitated another second before sprinting through the back door.
The werebear was right, she was not well. But as the last lingering pains started to fade, Valeria was able to stand again. The dizziness forced her to lean on the counter until her world stopped spinning. At her feet, a small pool of blood spread over the wooden floor. As she turned, she caught her reflection on the glass pane and winced. Trails of blood were drying on her cheeks, and some was seeping from her ears. It was bad.
It was inevitable, a witch was never this affected by magic. If her body was reacting to it, her very survival was at stake. Following the counter, she rinsed her face in the sink, the cold water clearing her mind somehow. When she straightened, Valeria saw Asher’s cell phone on the counter. Dawn was slowly coloring the sky, and she would have sold her soul for a bed, but she had a new possibility, all laid out in front of her. If she had to abandon magic, or even die from it, she would get answers. Soon, the sentinels, probably alerted by the fight in the woods, would arrive and the entire Sanctuary would be bustling with life.
Taking the phone, she checked for the car keys, but they were nowhere to be seen, and going back upstairs to search Asher’s room was out of the question. Instead, she dialed a familiar number and walked through the door.
It rang twice before a very frustrated female voice answered.
“It better be good, I was finally falling asleep.”
If not reaching the end of her energy, Violet’s tone would have made her smile.
“Vi, it’s Val.”
It took a moment to get an answer. “Well, well, if Sera hadn’t already told me the news, I wouldn’t have believed it. The mighty princess is still alive.”
Normally, Valeria would have a smart remark for that nickname she hated so much
in return, but she was too tired and knew Violet was only teasing.
“I don’t have a lot of time, Vi, can you stow the sarcasm for a moment?”
Her friend’s tone changed from acidic to apprehensive. “Are you alright? Where are you?”
“Vi, please. I need you to unlock and start a car for me.”
“It’s something so basic, you can usually do it. What’s going on?”
“I can’t use my powers right now, and I need to get away quick. Please.”
“Okay, okay! Focus on the vehicle you want me to work on and gimme a minute here. It’s a basic spell, but without coffee, it’s hell.”
Valeria smiled and didn’t blink, focusing her gaze on the old pick-up truck. It took only a second before she heard the doors unlocking and the engine starting. Great bonus, a key was summoned in the ignition.
“You’re a genius, Vi.”
“So I'm constantly told. Now, can you tell me what’s happening to you? I’m tired of getting second-hand news.”
Valeria opened the door and quickly put the truck into gear. For once, she prayed luck was on her side as she drove off, and started telling the bad news to her friend, forcing herself not to peek in the rear-view mirror, as she left her heart with Asher.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Breathing hard, the taste of blood in his jowls, Asher’s fury started to come under control. When he had awoken to find Valeria gone, he immediately called Ian and the sentinels. All the cars were accounted for, and it was highly improbable that she had left the premises. While Ian left to explore the eastern quadrant of the property, Asher took the western side.
It took less than an hour for one of his sentinels patrolling with him to receive a call from Ian, telling him that he had caught her scent and was changing into wolf form to reach her faster.
Ditching his clothes and transforming, Asher ran to the approximate location, a mix of emotions swirling inside him. Why would she want to flee again? Why couldn’t she trust him? Her behavior went against everything he knew as a wolf, everything he dealt with as an Alpha. When they made love earlier in the kitchen, he had made his decision. He wanted her. That was definitive. He had lost his family, even his two remaining relatives had disappeared; he wanted her by his side. Damn the Council or convention. And when she lay in his arms, he had thought his little witch felt the same thing.
